Kate Middleton photo courtesy of Flickr user Nick Warner via Creative Commons license
Venus Retrograde in a Man’s Chart
Venus in a man’s chart represents the type of woman he is attracted to. Through its sign and house position (and aspects to other natal planets) it describes his ideal of feminine beauty. When his Venus is retrograde, a man might be attracted to women and relationships that are quite different from the norm. One man with Venus Retrograde (I’ll call him Joe) in Virgo may be attracted to women with a very specific (Virgo) set of physical characteristics, such as a particular ethnicity (different from his own) or male-to-female transsexual prostitutes. Part of the draw is his desire to “rescue” these women.
Another example is Brigham Young, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons). He made the Church’s first public acknowledgement of polygamy and had 17 wives (at least). His Venus Retrograde was in Gemini, in his Tenth House of public image. He publicly (Tenth House) expressed his belief in multiple (Gemini) marriages, even though polygamy was not an accepted practice outside of his church. These two examples are extreme. But in general, any man with natal Venus retrograde will pursue women and relationships that rebel against conventional society. He wants who he wants, and doesn’t care what other people think.
Venus Retrograde in a Woman’s Chart
Audrey Hepburn, gracious actress and humanitarian, had Venus retrograde in First House Aries. She created a new (Aries) standard of gamine (elegantly thin) beauty. This was during the time when standards of beauty in Hollywood favored voluptuous actresses like Marilyn Monroe. The Venus retrograde woman blazes a trail with her unique expression of femininity.
How to Tell if You Have Venus Retrograde
Enter your birth information here.
Look for Venus in your chart. In this screenshot, it’s the planet glyph in green that looks like ♀
Follow the path of the numbers and the zodiac sign towards the center of the wheel. If you see what looks like an “R” with a line through part of it, then your Venus is retrograde. If you don’t have an “R” then your Venus is “direct.”
Expressing Opposite Qualities of Venus
Another thing about Venus retrograde: it manifests the characteristics of its sign differently. In the examples I’ve given above, all the people seem to be expressing some of the opposite qualities of their Venus sign. Brigham Young, trumpeting his faith and beliefs (Sagittarius) through his relationships. At first glance, multiple marriages seem to be the typical embodiment of Gemini. But remember that this practice reflected his religion, a uniquely Sagittarian concept.
Or consider the example of Joe, who embraced the total opposite of virginal Virgo and became a savior (Pisces). Kate Middleton, marrying into royalty (Leo): is this her way of distancing herself from the bullying and alienation (Aquarius) she experienced as a child? And then there’s Audrey Hepburn, with her impeccable manners that seemed far more Libran than Arian. As a child, Audrey experienced the Nazi occupation of Belgium. Her refinement could be seen as an antidote to the harshness of war (Aries).
The Internalized Journey of Venus Retrograde
Both men and women with Venus retrograde are enigmatic. People can’t quite get a handle on them because Venus’ socializing energy is internalized. They end up projecting their own issues onto the Venus retrograde person. If you have Venus retrograde and experience relationship difficulties, know that this could be part of the problem. People make assumptions about you.
But regardless of what others think, your primary goal is to establish your own, unique sense of self. You’re on an accelerated, internalized journey. For this reason, the best partner for you is someone who is self-reliant (because you are more focused on becoming self-reliant). It’s also important that your lover is evolving. No stagnant partners who cling to the status quo. But you’ve probably noticed that the partners you attract are rebels in their own way. Perhaps the relationships you get involved in are a bit more colorful or dramatic than other people’s. This is not an accident; it’s designed to push your self-awareness.
In his definitive book, Pluto: Vol 2: The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships, Jeffrey Wolf Green describes the Venus retrograde person as “defined through the Taurus side of Venus, versus the Libra side.” This is key. If you have Venus retrograde, you’re less concerned with reaching out and balancing your needs with others (Libra). You’re more concerned with exploring your own needs and self-esteem (Taurus). Selfish? Yes. That’s why you need a strong partner who’s got their own thing happening. Some of you may choose to remain single (or even celibate), which is an equally valid choice. But at some point in your life, your Venus will probably turn direct by progression (progressions are the movement of your natal planets over the years). For many people, this triggers a major relationship that helps them work with their Venus retrograde issues.
It’s not easy when the planet of social interaction hides her face from the world. Venus retrograde is on a special journey, and it will be different from everyone else’s. If your Venus is retrograde, each partner you get involved with is meant to further your understanding of the journey. If you’re partnered with a Venus retrograde person, the best thing you can do is build an independent life beside them.
Is Venus Retrograde in your natal chart? Tell us about it in comments below.
Related Post: Wedding Astrology: Venus Retrograde
About Nadia Gilchrist
Dear Nadia, I was born with a Venus Rx and 3 of your statements stand especially true for myself:
“The Venus retrograde woman blazes a trail with her unique expression of femininity.”
” If you have Venus retrograde and experience relationship difficulties, know that this could be part of the problem: people make assumptions about you.”
” If your Venus is retrograde, each partner you get involved with is meant to further your understanding of the journey.”
Spot on. Thank you.
I have to say this article striked me like lightning.
And I mean that not in a cheerful way.
Background:
I am a 32 yrs old man and without a girlfriend/relationship for 14 years now. Before this time period I had a “normal” love life counting 3 girlfriends/relationships.
All this time I was wondering, what is wrong with me? Why is there no love life happening at all in my life?
Seriously, during these 14 years there was nothing, niente, nada that one could describe as a romance, affair, whatever…
Recently I found out that Venus turned retrograde 4 days after my birthday. Exact date 24 May, 1980.
)
This means that in my progressed chart Venus went retrograde when I was 4 years old and stays retrograde until I am 47 years old.
This is so unbelievably crazy that I better don’t think about it.
Because I really experience how it feels like when Venus is in the shadow. It doesn’t feel good.
Currently I don’t know how to make the best of it and I don’t want a transsexual prostitute partner
However your writing gave me some insights.
But I don’t really get it when you write:
“[..]If you have Venus retrograde and experience relationship difficulties,
know that this could be part of the problem. People make assumptions about you.
But regardless of what others think, your primary goal is to establish your own,
unique sense of self.[..]”
Maybe someone can elaborate on this or give me any hints on this topic?
Is it worth reading the mentioned book by Jeffrey Wolf Green to get insight in this topic?
Any other literature on this topic?
Best,
Thomas
This makes so much sense. I have Natal Venus Retrograde, 7th Gemini, but I identify much better with Venus in Sag. Romance is interesting, don’t we all want to fall in love? However, I feel restricted and tied down in relationships and get bored with the same old patterns. I love doing my own thing, often by myself and I imagine it can be hard for others to understand. I am hungry for knowledge and seek spiritual growth, and my way of accommodating this is to keep friends at arms length so that they don’t encroach too much on my time. Maybe it is selfish, but I will also put myself out a great deal if someone needs me. I must have some redeeming factors in my chart!
People make assumptions about me too but my natal Venus in Aries isnt retro.
My Mars in Scorpio is retro tho.
Oh my Venus is in the 11th and Mars in 7th
@Fleursdumal
You’re welcome.
@Thomas
People make assumptions about Venus Rx because there is “missing” or hidden information (because Venus is internalized). So they fill in the blanks with their own ideas. So so of the difficulties you may be having in relationships could be connected to the assumptions that people make about you because they are not accurate.
The book by Jeffrey Wolf Green is certainly worth a read, but it’s advanced astrology. It depends how into astrology you are (also, it’s not all about Venus Rx…there’s also sections on Venus and Mars in the signs). I’m sure there is more literature on this but I’m not familiar with any other books. You can try Googling “Natal Venus Retrograde” and see what you come up with.
@Patti
Of course.
Venus Rx is not the only energy that causes people to make assumptions/projections (Pisces rising, Neptune on the AC, Venus in the 12th House, etc. are other examples). But my point was this is one of the effects Venus Rx has, and a possible reason for the relationship issues.
Thanks Nadia, this is another article that has really informed me!
Like Thomas, I was born with Venus direct (in Virgo), but it progressed into retrograde when I was 5. It finally went direct again about five years ago, when I was 47. Although this didn’t keep me from getting into relationships, I definitely had some issues with getting involved with unusual types, and with sacrificing too much of myself (Pisces). And DEFINITELY people have made assumptions about me, to the point where I often had no idea where the assumptions were coming from, or them even being recognizably about me.
Since it’s gone direct again, I’ve found that I have a completely different view of relationships. “What was I thinking?” I frequently wish I could “rewind” somehow and do them over, but I just have to go forward with what I have learned.
Another wonderful article.
I was reading up on Audrey Hepburn and her humanitarian causes. She does seem more Libran in every way, though the theme “venusian” qualities/and beauty is there outwardly and inwardly. (both taurus/libra themes too) But her actions, are very much “air” =justice scales and interestingly enough, of all her partnerships/marriages, (she disliked, even hated her ex’s) the happiest nine years of her life, which were her last, I believe, were with a Libra man. He was with her to the end. And in her biography she says it is about time. How unique and interesting, and how in depth astrology can be.
Really enjoyed the inside look of Kate Middleton’s chart, and her approach to love. I can truly understand her need to be with Royalty (Leo) because (Aqua) can be too cold and distant for her. Her Aqua planets needed the heart of a Leo energy. And the Leo loves more than anything to rescue/warm the soul of a coolly lost individual. (what i get from it). Having capricorn in her also adds into the mix. I saw that she had quite a bit of libra = love partnerships and this makes her very happy to be part of the family.
That’s so interesting about Brigham Young; saw his chart has a stellium in gemini, and the idea of his opposite – saggitarius makes sense in the realm of religion (his venus retrograde). Very fun and so easy to read, Nadia! love it! thanks!
Natal 11H Aqua Venus rx. Pisces Moon 12H.
It gets worse during the years. Lot of projections and assumtions. To one lover I had to say many times it was it wasn´t me to say so. In the end of the last relationships I had, I did squeeze out the thruth, thus after figuring out it on my own. And so on. Spot on.
Relationships with complicated males. Emotional retarders, sorry to say. Myself have a need to make things happen, else I feel fenced and bored. I need space to do my own things but am a reliable partner. No one of the partners has had interest in metaphysics, so here is an explanation on my secret word and doing my own things. I´m driven but dont know why.
Nice article, I could had read about the matter the whole night through! Loved it.
how would you describe a person with venus retrograde in capricorn in the first house?
@Limerence
Concentrated lessons, but I agree that those lessons are mystifying at times! You’re right though…just keep moving forward.
Venus going Rx by progression is actually the “rewind” part.
@curious757
You’re welcome!
@uranian
Natal Venus Rx in Aquarius; the energy of being on your path is amplified by all that Aqua. Also, perhaps some issues around discerning the difference between friends and lovers ( issues that your partners projected onto you).
@ame
You might be living out some of the Cancer/7th House archetype; defining (Capricorn) your identity (1st House) through nurturing (Cancer) relationships (7th House).
thank you for your response
so would that mean that another persons planets falling in my seventh house would make that person very important to me? have a greater significance because venus is in the first?
Dear Nadia, thank you very much, it is a great article. I have natal venus retrograde in 12th house in scorpio. Do not know if that is the reason as i also have moon in scorpio (11th house), thus making me pretty emotianal, but i can not say that I was very lucky in love. The situation is that it seems i am always the second or not in situation to have a normal relationship ( not hiding). Would love to hear your opinion. I also have other planets in scorpio ( Mars, Uranus and Sun). Thanks in advance!
Yes, just found out I was born with VEnus retro and it really does fit me….
Venus Taurus 0°21’04 in house 7 retrograde
Hey Nadia thankyou for this article i found it very interesting and insightful – i was just wondering how do you think a man with venus in virgo retrograde would express his love?
I am a 49 year old Gemini with Venus retrograde in Cancer. I have never married, (due more to circumstances seemingly beyond my control than personal choice), but I have two children. After the second child was born out of wedlock, I made a choice to no longer engage in sexual activity. I kept this promise to myself for 18 years and still counting.
When you say Venus retrograde women express their femininity different than most women, this is true for me. I am a tomboy at heart, heterosexual, but prefer men’s clothes to women’s, (moreso because I am built like my brothers, and have difficulty finding women’s clothes that fit. Especially shoes) I also do not wear makeup except on very rare occasions, nor am I that ‘into’ fashion. As long as my assets are covered, that is all that matters.