The Art of Loving a Venus/Neptune Soul: Idealism, Illusion, and Intimacy

When the planet of love (Venus) is combined with the planet of spirituality and dreams (Neptune) in the natal chart, you’re looking at a sensitive romantic. You’re also looking at someone who can delude themselves and their partner, in a relationship.

The hard aspects (conjunction, square, opposition, inconjunct), between natal Venus and Neptune create tension that can lead to dizzying romantic highs and crushing lows. The magic of Neptune glorifies Venus’ concepts of love and relating.

The Venus/Neptune Personality

The hallmark of the Venus/Neptune person is their perpetual search and dissatisfaction. Their pattern goes something like this: they are drawn to someone (usually a creative person), and gaze at this miracle through rose-colored glasses.

They believe they have found The One and profess their undying love. The Venus/Neptune person sets up a pedestal upon which their partner is placed. Emotions are fevered and glorious, until the Venus/Neptune person notices flaws in their Soul mate.

This wake-up period can be excruciatingly painful for the Venus/Neptune person. They may realize that their love was a misguided form of compassion as they attempted to “save” someone. Or they may simply realize that their partner is human (like everyone else).

Disappointment sets in and both parties feel betrayed. The Venus/Neptune person wonders what happened to their divine Soul mate. Their partner wonders why the Venus/Neptune person, initially so romantic, has become distant and vague.

Venus/Neptune High Standards

Disillusionment is the sticking point with hard Venus/Neptune aspects. Neptune’s energy is not grounded in the real world; it hints at the promise of spiritual perfection and union with the Creator/Higher Power—very high standards for mortals to attain.

Combine this with Venus, and you have someone who is great at offering universal love (they feel compassion for groups of people), but who has difficulties offering real, one-on-one love.

The frustrating glimpse of divine perfection (or the fantasy) that Neptune offers creates a constant drip of possibility that poisons their real-life relationships. The fantasy-based love that they offer is simply not real.

Neptune also adds a glittering rush of fantasy to Venus’ desire to relate to others. Venus/Neptune people have fabulous imaginations that extend to a cherished (and very detailed) romantic fantasy. It usually involves an ideal partner.

In his excellent book, Astrology: Transformation & Empowerment, Adrian Ross Duncan points out that each lover that they get involved with is compared against this fantasy and eventually found wanting. The love they have will always have the life sucked out of it by their desire for the love they’re missing.

How to Manage Your Relationship With a Venus/Neptune Person

What are your options, if you’re the partner of a Venus/Neptune person? Well, you can’t live up to their expectations. No one can. Chances are you’re a creative type, so your best bet is to keep being creative.

Follow that muse.

That’s where you’ll connect with your Venus/Neptune partner and where you’ll receive support from them. Also, keep in mind that Venus/Neptune people have trouble saying “no.” Their boundaries and self-esteem (Venus) are blurred by Neptune’s compassion and empathy.

They are easy to take advantage of, and confuse sacrifice with love. It’s up to you to set the boundaries and even say “no” for them on occasion.

Transforming the Venus/Neptune Energy

Transforming this energy to a more positive manifestation is difficult for the Venus/Neptune person. The first step is for them to admit that the perfect relationship does not exist. This is an addictive dream they have been nurturing for years, so it’s not easy for them to just let it go.

These are profoundly sensitive people who are hooked into the universal sadness and disappointment that everyone feels. Neptune’s gift of heightened sensitivity can be overwhelming. It’s not an easy burden to carry, and that dream is part of their escape.

However, part of Neptune’s lesson is learning to deal with disappointment. Neptune is about sacrifice: the sacrifice of the fantasy for what lies behind it. This is the lesson that all Venus/Neptune people must learn.

The best way to handle hard aspects between Venus and Neptune is to harness the tremendous discontent that is generated. The gift of the hard aspects is that the increased tension pushes people to do something about it.

Many Venus/Neptune people are artists who have created amazing pieces that touch the masses.

They can also focus that energy towards charity and volunteer work. By giving their discontent a healthy outlet, their partner does not become the focus of their frustrated dreams.

This way, the Venus/Neptune person can live in the real world. They will become a gentle, sensitive partner who has learned to offer authentic love.

Are you a Venus/Neptune person, or in a relationship with a Venus/Neptune person? Tell us about it in comments below.

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  1. It’s terrible. I have very high hopes for love. Both of my long term relationships start with us processing our undying love for eachother. The next day I feel completely different. I think we will be together forever, and the next day I think we need to break up. My ex was disabled and I nurtured him and provided for him for almost 2 years. Everyone said why do I like him? They couldn’t see why. Now I see they were right but I was too blind and confused to see. Huge confusion over love. My relationship now I am still battling this everyday. I thought he was perfect. He’s not. I hate this placement

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