I Love You, Now Go Away: Moon and Uranus in Synastry

When discussing relationship astrology, one could argue that the inter-connections between two people’s Moons is the one that dominates the landscape. After all, one’s natal lunar placement describes one’s perceived needs for comfort and security, as well as one’s emotional responses.

Any synastry aspect involving the Moon tells a story of how easily (or not) two people can feel at home with each other. Let us not underestimate the importance of lunar connections between two people in a romantic relationship.

two hands holding, with cups of coffee

The caveat

Having said that, here comes the caveat: Even if Mick Jagger wants to paint it black, one cannot paint an entire landscape with just one color. Similarly, one synastry aspect alone cannot describe the complexities of a relationship.

With that in mind, this discussion relating to Moon and Uranus inter-aspects offers but one piece of a relationship’s puzzle.

Let’s look at perspective

Yes, the Moon looms large. At the same time, perspective is valuable. Uranus—aka The Awakener—certainly offers perspective. And, when it’s aspecting another person’s Moon, perspective becomes paramount if the relationship is to thrive.

And, while I’m nattering on about perspective, let’s take an overview first, shall we? Uranus is the modern-day ruler of Aquarius.

As in, this is the dawning of the…etcetera. Harmony and understanding, Sympathy and trust abounding. No more falsehoods or derisions. Golden living dreams of visions, Mystic crystal revelation, and the mind’s true liberation, Aquarius!

These lyrics from the iconic musical “Hair” are some of the best descriptors of the Aquarian vibe—or, at least, one facet of the Aquarian vibe. Because the flip-side of the Aquarian-Uranian coin is—far from brotherhood and collective unity—space, please. Plenty of it.

Indeed, the thrust for liberation and freedom is so pronounced in the land of Aquarius and its ambassador Uranus that—if that need isn’t met organically—it will be forced as if arbitrarily, perhaps to the point of alienating others.

So much for sympathy and trust abounding. And yet within this mixture of bonding and breaking the bond lies a clue about the nature of any relationship with a strong Uranian flavor.

Strong Uranian flavor

And what might I be referring to when I speak of a relationship with a strong Uranian flavor? One with a synastry aspect between the Moon and Uranus would constitute a rather Uranian relationship.

As in I love you. Now please go away for a while so I can miss you. There is nothing inherently weird (now there’s a Uranus word) with either partner needing some Virginia Woolf room of one’s own. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always occur that both people are on the same page about the whens and for how longs of that perceived need for space.

That’s when suffering occurs. If you’re in deep with someone who’s hooked into your Moon by way of Uranus (cue the raised eyebrows and giggles) you need a good sense of perspective, and a giant heap of I’m cool to take care of myself. Otherwise known as emotional maturity.

Yet, in our lunar spaces, we often go to the mindset of the inner child—the one who craves cradling and nurturing. Take care of me; don’t ever leave me. Such words are anathema to Uranus, as he runs swiftly out the door. Now that’s mature.

But what can you expect from planetary energy that expresses itself by overthrowing the status quo?

Once your relationship gets all cozy and settled in, it becomes status quo, yes? Enter Uranus; exit one partner.

This can all work if you are given to desired stints of isolation. Do you have the Moon or Mercury, Venus or Mars in Aquarius, perchance? If so, you already know that some give and take of freedom is essential to your well-being. And that can go a long way towards mitigating the sometimes glaring effects of a Moon-Uranus square or opposition between you.

Of course, some aspects feel easier to process than others. But—and this is key—the ease or dynamism of an aspect does not change the ultimately off-beat nature of a relationship marked by a Moon-Uranus aspect. It does not change the fact that—regardless of how well the demand for space is tolerated—the nature of the relationship is one that has periods of closeness and periods apart. Period. Now decide how you want to feel about that, and how you wish to deal with it.

Here’s an example

Let’s say that my Moon in Libra makes a pleasing little sextile to your Uranus in Leo. In keeping with the nature of a sextile—which is really about opportunity—at the moment that inter-aspect gets triggered (perhaps by a transit) we recognize a kinship. We zap, we crackle, we discover things about ourselves and about each other.

It feels good. Really good. It’s exciting as all hell. We ride that wave until another transit removes one of us from the scene—likely you, the Uranian one. Off you go. I will miss you. You likely won’t think of me much while we’re apart. Not because you’re a cold heartless jerk, but because you’ve got other stuff going on right now.

And me? Depending on other factors in my natal chart, I might be okay with that because I know that I will see you again sometime. And when I do, it will be great. Exciting as all hell. Until we part ways again. And so on.

The synastry sextile between Moon and Uranus offers chance after chance to reconnect, and—when the reunion occurs—it’s like being in a bubble for two.

Will it drive you mad at times? Yup. But maybe you require a certain amount of madness in order to feel fully alive. Think on that.

Suppose there’s a trine

Suppose there’s a trine between your Moon in Gemini and my Uranus in Libra. Boom. Instant attraction. Like, where have you been hiding all of my life? Maybe we tap into each other’s brand of kink. Meanwhile, your Moon operates through air’s detached element, so you can be more dispassionate than most about your emotions.

Thank goodness, because I’ve got something that calls me away for a while. But we have this telepathic bond that means we feel connected to each other even when geography separates us. We have magic. I’ll be coming back for more of that.

In the meantime, you don’t begrudge hanging out with friends or siblings in my absence. A Moon-Uranus synastry trine is akin to instant and inexhaustible chemistry.

It was just one of those nights Just one of those fabulous flights A trip to the moon on gossamer wings Just one of those things

And what if my Moon in Virgo conjoins your Uranus (and possibly Pluto as well, if you’re a child of the mid-sixties)? Well, that feels decidedly different than the sextile or trine. I feel you, alright. But I’m not sure if I’m supposed to like it.

It’s kind of like trying to climb a barbed wire fence. Impractical at best. Especially since you surprise me with each notice that you’re taking a weekend away with your historic re-enactment society.

See how it goes? You rattle my feelings, and my entreaties for more connection hobble your drive for freedom. One issue with a Moon-Uranus synastry conjunction is the possibility that—after the initial impulse or reason for our connection has passed—we will experience only intermittent reunions. How do either of us cope? It depends on what the rest of our charts look like.

Maybe my Moon is in the 12th House and I need some solitude on a regular basis, anyway. Maybe your Uranus is in the 7th House and, for all intents and purposes, regular time apart is what a committed partnership is ‘supposed’ to look like.

How about a square between your Moon in Pisces and my Uranus in Sagittarius? It’s a clunker, let’s be real…even if we both have a propensity for rose-colored glasses—which we likely do. After all, Jupiter disposits your Moon and my Uranus. There’s an affinity there. We’re both reaching for something greater than ourselves.

But it’s like trying to crash the gates of heaven. And one or both of us has a knack for lousy timing. That’s a square for you. It feels like a yes… but. “You can have the whole enchilada, honey. But I’m going to feed it to you one morsel at a time, with great intervals between each bite.” Hopefully it won’t get cold before you get to the last piece.

I advocate using the synastry square as an avenue for growth and exploration. When the Moon is involved, though, it can feel cranky.

If you’ve got this aspect going on with someone, then tend to your own garden. Self-care and self-autonomy does not an orphan make. The word adulting has entered the English lexicon, and—if you’re part of a Moon square Uranus combo—it needs to become your action word. Lunar-Uranus squares may be good for you—kind of like lentils. Friction equals growth. Still, if you can’t stand the taste, no need to blame the lentils or guilt-trip the lentils; just leave the lentils and look for a root vegetable.

If we’d thought of it ’bout the end of it When we started painting the town We’d have been aware that our love affair Was too hot not to cool down

If your Uranus in Scorpio opposes my Moon in Taurus, we’ve got some issues. Sunny side first: my Moon is exalted in Taurus. I’m the queen of self-care. Underside coming: I know how to take care of you, too—better than you do, in fact. Which is why you’re going to listen to me when I say…hey, where are you going??

An opposition is the very antithesis of coming together. Something comes to a head, and then the energy dissipates. In relationships it can feel like there’s scant sense of connection. The two people involved have difficulty “reading” or “getting” each other. In some cases it can actually feel as though one of you may as well not even be there.

Finding the middle road with each other is paramount to navigating an opposition. This is the still point of enlightenment and also medicine.

Couples all around the world are getting it on with Moon-Uranus synastry oppositions. Maybe the opposition puts the fizz in the jizz. (Over the line? We are talking about Uranus, after all.) Maybe your Suns are sextile. Or your Mercury and Venus trine. Maybe you both like peaches. Yes, all of this plays a role in how you ‘do’ your relationship.

Yet a synastry opposition involving the Moon feels especially personal, and is pretty tough to brush under the carpet. If that lunar opposition is to Uranus—whose very influence is about the energy of separation—one can’t help but wonder how long until the Uranian escape clause is invoked.

So goodbye, dear, and Amen Here’s hoping we’ll meet now and then It was great fun But it was just one of those things

Here’s the dish on Moon-Uranus synastry aspects: they spell a degree of separation, regardless of which aspect we’re talking about. Because Uranus, unlike Saturn (the classical ruler of Aquarius), is not a consolidator but a separator.

Humans get awfully attached to people and stuff and situations. And sometimes that prevents us from stepping outside of our comfort zones and adulting ourselves a bit more. The nature of the aspect between the Moon and Uranus effectively describes how pleasing (or not) is the phase of separation between you and your lover.

There will be bouts of bye bye’s between you. One of you is contracted to work away from home a few times a year. One of you is in a profession that chronically demands a great deal of your time. Someone is responsible for the long-term care of an ill family member, which pulls them away from the comfort of coupling. This is the stuff of life.

A relationship marked by Moon-Uranus synastry aspects is one that weathers (or not) these types of things to one degree or another. Chances are, you met under a Uranus transit. A Moon-Uranus connection will brand the very nature of your relationship. You will experience periods of absence from each other. You will thrive at times and go kind of mad at other times. You sure as heck won’t be bored.


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