You may remember a blog post Sasstrology (then called Seduction Central) ran way back in 2007 called Think With Your Venus. Jessica Shepherd has since expanded on what it means to think with one’s Venus, and in an excerpt from her new book A Love Alchemist’s Notebook: Magical Secrets for Drawing Your True Love into Your Life, she answers how to do just that.
We each have preferences and desires in our search for love and that’s the bright, intelligent attractor beam of Venus, sending signals ‘out there’ to others. When someone is attracted to us, we becoming enchanting; and when we’re attracted to someone, our chemistry communicates, ‘I really, really like you!’ But what does that actually mean, – aside from an intuitive knowing about who we like, and what we don’t? And what does it mean to Think With Your Venus?
Working on behalf of love, sending out subtle cues that contain all the information we’ve been missing about our attract-ability, Venus answers.
When you know your Venus sign, it’s easier to get clued in to what you need in a soul mate. She identifies the type of person you want in a mate. Of course we each have unique preferences for our soul mate – and in a cool twist, our soul mate will also have these, too!
Owning your Venus sign is invaluable for inviting your inner temptress out to play. Her sign reinforces the positive attributes, talents & gifts you have that will enhance your self-esteem. She will also help you avoid that manhole o’ love you fall into, when you’re not thinking with your Venus.
Working your Venus sign amplifies your attract-ive and receptive powers, like x100! Through discovering your own specific power for attraction (the way you charm & attract others) you amplify your ability to attract.
Your Venus sign answers all this, and more. Yeah, baby!
Don’t know your Venus sign? Consult the Venus sign tables at Cafe Astrology.
The first sign of the zodiac is a fire-starter. You arrive on the scene like the first blush of spring. Your very being which shouts/sings, “Look at how exciting, sexy and fun your life would be with me!” You like the novel & new in everything – in clothes, people and styles- because they make you feel alive.
Your Love Charm: your brassy confidence. If you wear nothing else, wear confidence.
Criteria for a Soul Mate: could be sweet as a sweet pea, but they will bring out the fire in you, helping you to express courage, willpower, and anger as healthy essentials for your relationship.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of courage. You’d try, admit and do things others won’t. Courage is an ally you can tap – be it getting over an ex (you do so very quickly) and calling up a new love interest, or the emotional courage to delve into your own heart and honestly look at your self.
Your Shadow: it’s the old dilemma immortalized by The Clash: should I stay or should I go? You bring a spirit of adventure to relationship, which also makes you restless when you’re in one. Creative or physical outlets offer serenity to your partnerships, albeit indirectly.
Your Venus Archetype: the daredevil, desert rose, lone ranger, the heroine, femme fatale, rock star, warrior/amazon princess, provocateur, flirt, slut, seductress, competitive girlfriend.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I am worthy and lovable just as I am. I share my passion with everyone I meet, and in so doing, inspire them. I am in charge of my love life: today is another day to choose healthy partners.
Earthy, sensual and warm, but slow to warm up, love blossoms for you when you approach it at a natural and easy pace. You know when to stop and smell the roses, and appreciate the simple luxuries that comprise real happiness. Thus, you find it.
Your Love Charm: your confident ease, comfort in your own skin, that je ne sais quois causing others to feel totally secure in your presence.
Criteria for a Soul Mate: a loyal, easygoing and highly reliable soul mate. There’s no guess work involved with this person – they make you feel safe, secure and comfortable. No one night stands for you; you play for keeps.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of tranquility. Sit on a hilltop, stop and smell the flowers, have a sip of tea. However you do it, just calm down. Be still and love’s riddles become clear.
Your Shadow: choosing the safe and secure partnership over one that challenges you to move out of your comfort zone and grow.
Your Venus Archetype: the caretaker, sweet pea, Eve (of Adam & Eve), Aphrodite, pin-up, beauty queen, trophy wife, silent screen actress, banker’s daughter, millionaire heiress, earth mama, nature lover, queen, matriarch.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I am a living, breathing, walking, talking Goddess with a bootylicious bod to boot. This doesn’t make me a doll; I have real talents. I am resourceful with my talents.
A mutable air sign, you enjoy being caught up in a constant whirlwind of parties, travels, discussions & diversions. Flirtatious, experimental and curious, you may find your self torn in half, between two directions, interests, or lovers.
Your Love Charm: your mind. Copiously gifted in the arts of courtship and wooing you dazzle others with your conversation & story-telling.
Your Soul Mate is: interesting & interested. You need a sociable mate with a variety of interests, one who wants to hear what’s on your mind. They may be multi-lingual, well-educated, and well-spoken; they must be absolutely fascinating.
Your Attract-ive Power: love magic. You enthrall them with your liveliness, your vibrance & shape-shifting powers. You’re like a butterfly, refusing to be held or caught, forever changing, changing – how alluring!
Your Shadow: the dilemma of twos. Being restless with one love or lover, when you’re just plain un-stimulated, bored. Boredom is just another word for ‘let’s try something new.’
Your Venus Archetype: art salon-hostess, flirt, intellectual, magical fairy, elf or sprite, Cleopatra, Puella (eternal little girl who won’t grow up), storyteller, provocateur, trickster, shape-shifter, actress, networker, muse.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I was born to get into all kinds of playfully precariously situations in love, and have a blast exploring the possibilities. I reserve the right to change my mind, and change it back again. My twin flame does the same. When we meet we’ll have so much to share and talk about, in fact – we probably won’t shut up.
A gentle & heartfelt water sign, you’re the first to notice when a person needs help, and the first to come to their aid. You embody unconditional love and dispense it practically – be it through a good meal, emotional nourishment or spiritual support.
Your Love Charm: your creative imagination. Compassionate and sensitive, you illuminate soul dilemmas for others with your understanding. Lost souls and mystics find your gentle presence especially comforting.
Your Soul Mate: someone who wants to build a home together, though this extends beyond the four walls of place. Your spiritual companion is someone who also aligns you with your true north.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of intuition. You empathically pick up on feelings and nuances others miss.
Your Shadow: your penchant for care-taking can pull in a mate looking for a mother. You can’t be good for others, if you’re not good to your self first. Sometimes that means saying no, and practicing ‘tough love.’
Your Venus Archetype: the mother, love poet, mommy’s little girl, the orphan, a lush orchid, the incurable romantic, oyster and pearl, a lighthouse, safe haven, statue of Liberty, shells on the ocean floor, buried treasure, Dorothy (the Wizard of Oz).
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I am innately and extremely soulful -so this whole soul mate thing will be a cinch. I’ll trust my first instinct and never second guess my intuition. All I have to do is open my heart and remember that compassion doesn’t spell sucker.
As a fixed fire sign, you want to be appreciated for your uniqueness, your creative expressiveness and your loyalty. Your need for appreciation can come off as controlling or insecure, at times, but will also draw people towards you. You honestly bare your heart in love – people always know where they stand with you.
Your Love Charm: your confident charisma. This dynamic Venus sign advertises playfulness, creativity and fabulousness in everything they do.
Your Soul Mate: gives you that ‘falling in love’ feeling all the time. They make waking up next to them feel like Christmas morning, every morning.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of appreciation. Give and ye shall receive, Venus in Leo! Regard their special beauty, talent and power as awe-inspiring and you’ll have them eating out of your hand.
Your Shadow: calling all the shots, making all the decisions in the relationship. You are a queen, yes, but if you want your king to feel like a king and not a court paige, stop commanding and ordering them around.
Your Venus Archetype: the artist, ingenue, creator, attention-getter, clown, showgirl, diva, queen, actress, flame tulips, Beauty (Beauty & the Beast), popular one, lover, enchantress.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I spontaneously share my sense of joy and delight, because joy and delight are the best aphrodisiacs! I praise and adore others, knowing I am surrounded by fans who truly love and appreciate me. When I share my unique talents with the world, my gifts shine like sunbeams, encompassing others in a warm aura of happiness.
An earth sign ruled by smart as a whip Mercury, you’re deeply sensitive, rapturously observant, and graciously appreciative. Modest by nature and far more experimental than you let on, you happen to possess the sensual & sexual skills that would make a nun blush.
Your Love Charm: competence & craftiness. You impress them with how competent, elegant and efficient you are.
Your Soul Mate: an introspective soul who takes pleasure in exploring the interiors of the body, heart & mind. You need a soul mate who enjoys whiling away the afternoons instructively exploring what needs improvement in the world – including your relationship!
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of discernment. You’ve got excellent boundaries and realistic insights on the motivations and behaviors of others.
Your Shadow: watch out for ‘fixer upper’ relationships, for you enjoy fixing others. Sometimes you over-compensate for feelings of unworthiness and self-doubt with uber-helpfulness and ultra-efficiency. Then you get mad when no one appreciates you!
Your Venus Archetype: servant, rescuer, Cinderella, sexual priestess, Virgin Mary, madonna/whore, angel, helpful one, enchantress, Garden of Eden, the invisible one, prostitute, expert, critic, nag, codependent, masochist, love slave.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I completely and totally accept myself, even when they’re wrong and I’m right, and when I’m wrong and they’re right. Today I choose not to sweat the small stuff and to remain happy instead. I offer the best of myself and look for the best in others.
A cardinal air sign, your Venus sign is motivated by finding great success in relationship, and to accomplish this, you’ve been gifted with intelligence, glamour, and good social graces. Love for you is a ballet of give and take – you’ll work effortlessly, tirelessly and judiciously to achieve the overall balance of your happily-ever-after vision.
Your Love Charm: charm, itself. Blessed with worldly sophistication, guided by an innate sense right and wrong, you attract others who are equally fair and sensitive to saying the right thing at the right time – just like you.
Your Soul Mate: your matched other, equal half. You impress your soul mate with how similar you are, and how great your life could be together.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of rapport. You make others feel comfortable by inquiring, listening, and matching their behavior/words. You somehow make connections with people you have no obvious connection with.
Your Shadow: trying to make everyone happy all the time. Naturally concerned with others’ well being,you’ll easily accommodate their wishes (great!), unless you feel they aren’t returning your kindness and you start keeping score (not so great).
Your Venus Archetype: a diamond, social butterfly, judge, scales, red rose, lead ballerina, director, ultimate hostess, one-half of a power couple, tightrope walker, negotiator, peace-lover, lover, mediator, sensitive, “lover not a fighter”.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I am blessed with charm, dignity and grace and so is my other half. I don’t have to change anyone to love them. I know my perfect mate is already perfect and complete.
A mesmerizing fixed water sign, you exude the mystery & attractive charisma of a Jane Bond Girl, or 007 his self. You fear losing control, and you also like surrendering control to another, which can create all kinds of strange problems for your relationships. You experience life-transforming intimacy with the people you love.
Your Love Charm: Your intensity and honesty. In your presence, other people feel quite thrillingly, alive.
Your Soul Mate: is capable of great psychological depth and fearlessness. Your soul mate is not a purely sexual relationship, someone who is psychologically unaware or emotionally unavailable.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of magnetism. Your sexuality which even if not overtly expressed, is a smoldering, seductive promise that draws others to you. Your 2nd chakra, or kundalini energy is off the hook. Be careful how you use it!
Your Shadow: wanting who you can’t have. You wrestle with your desires and your attachments toward people who may not be available to you, and who, if you got, you may not actually want.
Your Venus Archetype: the black widow, prostitute, phoenix, thorny red rose, belly dancer, erotic dancer, smoldering ashes, scorpion, seductress, celibate, psychologist, jealous one, fortress, the betrayer/betrayed, vampiress, alchemist, shaman, spy.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I am erotically alive. I honor my own emotional depth, sexual intensity, and honesty. I attract an empowering relationship formed on mutual trust, helping me to surrender my fears, let down my guard, and experience deep healing. This is the person I trust with my soul.
Taking off at a moment’s notice, heading out on an epic adventure comes easy for the fiery Venus sign who takes great pleasure in exploring, learning about others, and accumulating those ‘once in a lifetime’ love experiences. Your love passport is bi-coastal, reading “have bags, will travel.”
Your Love Charm: you’re up for it. When you’re disappointed by love, you optimistically re-shuffle the deck & diversify your options.
Your Soul Mate: is up for it. The keynote of your soul mate relationship is continuous expansion and personal exploration. They share your freedom-loving spontaneity and appreciate the myriad sensual exploits & possibilities you offer them.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of adventure. Is it possible to taste, touch and experience everything? You’ll try. Then you’ll teach your lovers what you’ve learned.
Your Shadow: fear of losing your freedom to love. Are love & freedom really mutually exclusive? Really? Your love task is to experience freedom through love (although this may mean having a non-traditional relationship).
Your Venus Archetype: the gypsy-wanderer, seeker, nomadic princess, explorer, safari guide, mapmaker, fortune-teller, the student, high priestess, exotic foreigner, philosopher, temptress, Puella (eternal little girl).
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I honor my need for spontaneity and exploration. Every day is a new opportunity to try, taste, experience something radically different than the day before.
The ringed-planet, Saturn, gives you strong personal boundaries and a high degree of self-sufficiency and self-reliance. This can make you appear unobtainable or distant with others who want to get close to you, but also often glamorous and respected by them, too.
Your Love Charm: your maturity. You’re an ultra-realist when it comes to love. Your Venus sign advertises “I’m available for real adult relationship. Only people with goals & ambitions need apply.”
Your Soul Mate is: mature, and authoritative, or a wise-elder in the community. They leave a mark of personal integrity and authority in everything they do.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of dedication and commitment. Once you’ve decided what or who it is that makes you happy, you’ll do what it takes to get and keep them.
Your Shadow: choosing a ‘safe bet’ person for all the wrong reasons, like their social status, authority, power or wealth. You may enjoy a materially comfortable partnership, but not at the cost of emotional warmth and companionship.
Your Venus Archetype: daddy’s little girl, adult, provider, ice queen, prostitute, power suit, status-seeker, role model, woman in a man’s world, boss woman, single lady, wise woman, wizard, hermit, experienced one.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I expect only success from love. I form goals, and build and reach dreams together, with my partner. I am blessed with dedication and commitment to pull in the love I want. I know all things are possible.
As a fixed air sign, you are friendly and tolerant of others. Your Venus sign also needs to break a social convention (or two…or ten) in love. You refuse to be stereotyped in relationship, to be put in any box which stymies your true self. This need for the freedom, to choose who, what and how you love, is exceptionally strong for you.
Your Love Charm: uniqueness. The more unusual and original you are in style, taste, opinions and self-expression the more attract-ive you become to others.
Your Soul Mate: an original. Your soul mate will probably defy the expectations of your culture, family or society. They will wear signatures of an experimental, progressive, highly independent and unusual character.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power to live and let live. Your inclusive ability to embrace other’s differences, to accept them for who they are makes others feel truly accepted and loved.
Your Shadow: your need to have all your uncertainties & insecurities eliminated before risking falling in love with that one special person. You may prefer to spread your love thin across many friends, or remain uninvolved, than experience special love with one partner.
Your Venus Archetype: the sexual rebel, outsider, glamourous one, trend-setter, untouchable beauty, truth-teller, caged bird/free bird, prisoner of love, free-spirit, peace-lover, idealist, visionary, friend, humanitarian.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: I bring radical authenticity to the table of relationship, and the one who is still sitting there when I’m done is the one I want to be with. I offer unconventionality and truthfulness to my partnerships. They love me for my irreverence & eccentricity.
As mutable mystical water sign who lives to observe & learn, you make the emotional life of your love relationship, into your life study. Malleable & sensitive to other’s needs, it’s easy for you to fit your self into other’s projections, causing your relationship to resemble a hall of mirrors at times. Endowed with a rich fantasy life and imagination, you enjoy creating ecstatic experiences of love, and you do.
Your Love Charm: boundless love. Your love is spiritual and all-encompassing, and because you see the spiritual nature in others, making it easy for you to fall in love with their spirit and soul.
Your Soul Mate: connected to your spirituality. They rightfully sense an otherworldly mystical connection has brought you two together, just as you do.
Your Attract-ive Power: the power of enchanted play. Life with you is never mundane – you cook up the kind of dreamy diversions and mystical moments that offer others escape from the dreariness of everyday living.
Venus in Pisces Shadow: kissing frogs while asking for a prince! Sometimes it’s hard for you to tell the difference, yet when you do, you may still try to “rescue” the frog. Work on establishing boundaries and using imagination to turn your dream prince into a reality.
Your Venus Archetype: the hopeless romantic, magical child, actress, illusionist, victim, martyr, compassionate healer, mother teresa, beloved, good samaritan, lost soul, soul mate, codependent, sadist, psychic, rescuer, guru, ocean, siren, devotee, dream weaver.
Think With Your Venus Mantra: My outlandish, magnificent and soulful diversions are enchantments that inspire others to no end. I know that whatever I ask for from love, I receive. I identify who I don’t want, I put who I do want into my imagination & the Divine obliges my every wish.