Moon-Mars Aspects in Synastry: Sex and Psyche

When folks start learning about astrology and synastry, they run to Venus/Mars aspects to find out whether they’re compatible with their partners. Venus/Mars is about sexual give and take: my style of loving is in tune with your desire. But, as everyone knows, sex is a lot more complicated than that.

We don’t always express our love via Venus. Venus can be a diva with a come-hither look; she draws what she wants (and sometimes doesn’t want) via the principle of attraction. Venus/Mars contacts can be surprisingly shallow. Unless they’re tied up to Pluto or under the spell of Neptune or Uranus, they can also be surprisingly tame. They’re about compatibility, pure and simple. There are more passionate pair-ups.

Moon/Mars, for one. For some reason, this aspect has had a low profile in synastry. But when I hear of a synastry that is all about heat, this is one of the first aspects I look for. It has a bad reputation from the old “cookbook” schools of astrology. They used to say, “Mars equals violence/aggression, and the Moon equals emotions/comfort, therefore Mars will be mean to the Moon.” Well, yes and no, and more likely no. Not where sex is concerned.

[show_to accesslevel=’All-Access’]Moon/Mars is where sex meets the psyche. A lot of the Moon/Mars interpretations from the old texts come from a lack of understanding of what the Moon actually represents. The Moon is everything we are and everything we have been, going back to the beginning, or over lifetimes, if your beliefs go that way. The lunar package also includes our emotions, our instinctive reactions, and the way our mind interacts with our body. The Moon also represents the physical body itself. The Greeks defined it as Soul. Between partners, Mars is turned on by the deepest fathoms of the Self.

Again, we have a pairing of a feminine planet (the Moon) with a masculine one. But the Moon is much more primal and instinctive than Venus. The Moon reveals our basic needs for fulfillment. It tells us what makes us satisfied and happy. When the Moon is happy, we feel complete.

In synastry, these needs of the Moon – whatever they may be (physical, psychological, spiritual) – are sensed by a hungry Mars, and ignite and inflame his passions. Mars senses the Moon intensely, and instinctively strives to fulfill her needs. Mars needs a purpose to really get it going, and here the Moon becomes that purpose. At the same time, the Moon – grateful for the acknowledgement of its needs – longs to nurture and satisfy Mars, and take him into a safe place deep within. She senses and is turned on by his raw desire to connect with her.

Moon/Mars contacts can be highly erotic, but it isn’t an eroticism based on surface attraction. With Moon/Mars, Mars is attracted by the very essence of the Moon, the whole complicated package – conscious and unconscious. Many times, the attraction between Moon and Mars is mysterious; they connect on such a primal level that it’s hard to bring the reasons for the attraction to the surface. A Moon/Mars interaction tends to be silent and deep.

Trouble can come in many ways, but most often it’s when Mars is either too eager, or too cutting to the Moon’s delicate psyche. Mars may burst in and blunder into tender areas the Moon is not ready to expose, or the Moon may be too guarded, or too shy. Mars may go overboard in trying to penetrate to the Moon’s darkest secrets, stumbling into old hurts and reopening wounds. This causes the Moon to back away or shut down, and a rejected Mars may either pursue or give up the chase. Mars has an opportunity to heal the blockages that are preventing the Moon from shining its light to the fullest, but whether it knows this or not will depend on the qualities of Mars in the chart. In turn, the Moon can validate Mars in its ambitions and pursuits, providing support and emotional sustenance.

The Moon is also about our feelings of security, and Mars may be a lot of things, but he’s not a guy to instill feelings of safety. Mars can disturb and threaten the Moon’s habits and rituals, the things that it needs to get through the day. The Moon may decide that she likes the stimulation of being challenged, or she may decide that she’s had enough. It’s up to the Moon to teach Mars how to tread carefully.

Moon/Mars is never an easy aspect. It causes partners to be constantly aware of the energy exchange between them, and the effect that it has on both. Even at its most soothing and well-aspected, the sexual stimulation is always accompanied by the rolling waves of a deeper awareness. It takes some maturity to handle this aspect well, because we need to learn how to read one another’s signals and retreat when comfort zones are in danger of being violated. For those who like an easy ride in relationships, and prefer not to explore the inner layers of our being, this aspect may be too hot to handle.

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