How do you know if a relationship will last, or if it will even begin? When consulting astrology about a romantic relationship, most people want to know if it will develop into a significant, long term union. The underlying question is, “What kind of an impact will I have on the other person?” While there are no guarantees, the following are what I believe to be the top five synastry aspects which strongly indicate that a serious relationship will develop. All five don’t have to be present, but the more aspects there are, the stronger the draw is between two people.
The Chart Rulers of Each Person Aspect Each Other
The rising sign represents a person’s interaction with the outside world. The planet that rules the rising sign (the chart ruler) shows how they express this interaction, and a connection between the chart rulers of two people is the hook that draws them together.
[show_to accesslevel=’All-Access’]Let’s say Jason has Cancer rising and Patty has Libra rising. If Jason’s Moon (ruler of Cancer) aspects Patty’s Venus (ruler of Libra) there will be a recognition between them. Harmonious aspects (such as a conjunction, trine or sextile) might indicate that Jason’s emotional way of presenting himself to the world would be easy for Patty to relate to, and Patty’s charming first impression would feel right to Jason. Challenging aspects such as the square or opposition might indicate that Patty would find Jason withdrawn but intriguing, while Jason might be overwhelmed (but still charmed) by Patty’s sociability. Depending on the rest of their charts, they might be able to work around the difficult aspects (or not), but the point is that they would both notice and want to know more about each other. What if Jason’s Moon and Patty’s Venus do not aspect each other at all but are in each other’s signs (Jason has a Libra Moon and Patty has Venus in Cancer)? This still works because there is a relationship (technically known as mutual reception) between the two chart rulers.
Looking at another example, Lauren’s chart ruler is at one degree Aquarius and Tom’s chart ruler is at twenty seven degrees Aquarius. They are too far apart to be conjunct, but they are both in the same sign. Does this count as a connection? Absolutely. They are still in the same sign, therefore they have a common relationship. In all these scenarios, the chart rulers are able to have a conversation with each other, which is the spark needed to start a relationship. But what happens once the spark is lit? Where the relationship goes from here all depends on how each person impacts the other.
Contacts to The Sun
The Sun represents ego and identity. If Patty’s planet(s) aspect Jason’s Sun, his identity is engaged in the relationship. Let’s say Patty’s Pluto is conjunct Jason’s Sun: he will experience Patty as a transformative (and probably controlling) force on his identity. But if none of Jason’s planets aspect Patty’s Sun, she will likely feel that he has no impact on who she is. This is not a deal breaker, but it will definitely result in an unbalanced relationship.
So let’s give Jason a break and say that his Moon is square her Sun. His emotional responses will clash with her ego (she may think he’s a “wimp”) but he will still make an impact on her identity. Depending on her Sun sign, she may find the friction of his emotional responses stimulating or irritating – probably both. But the end result is that each touches the other’s essential self. What are some other ways that they might impact each other?
Planetary Overlays to the Water Houses
The doorways to the emotions are the houses in the natal chart traditionally ruled by water signs (Fourth House Cancer, Eighth House Scorpio and Twelfth House Pisces). If a couple of Jason’s planets fall in Patty’s Fourth House, he will activate her childhood issues. Depending on the planets involved, he may remind Patty of her Dad. If the relationship between Patty and her Dad was positive, then being around Jason will probably make her feel safe and secure. If her Dad was abusive, Jason will trigger an entirely different set of reactions even if he’s the nicest guy she’s ever dated.
What if Jason’s planets fall in her Eighth House? He will likely stir up deep insecurities and issues surrounding her sexuality. How these issues are handled between them depends on the rest of their charts. Patty may discover that she’s physically repulsed by Jason or obsessively attracted to him. Being around Jason may trigger her control issues, which causes her to go into therapy and deal with them once and for all. The point is that Jason’s impact on her Eighth House will transform Patty (assuming she’s not terrified of the intensity and completely blocks him out). Note that although the planet person will feel some effect, it is usually the house person, the person who receives the planetary energy, who experiences the full force of the overlay.
As I mentioned in a previous article, if someone’s planet(s) fall in their partner’s Twelfth House, they can trigger subconscious fears and the release of deeply creative or spiritual energy. But the one thing that all the water houses have in common is that they are subjective. If someone activates their partner’s water house(s), the house person will find it very difficult to stand back and be rational.
Once again, it is desirable for these house overlays to go both ways. We’ve seen Jason’s emotional impact on Patty, but what if none of her planets fall in any of his water houses? Let’s say they go their separate ways after six months: Patty is devastated because this felt like one of the most significant relationships of her life. Jason, on the other hand, thought the relationship was fun and regrets hurting Patty, but is able to move on quickly. So are there any other synastry aspects more potent than this?
Conjunctions to The IC
Taking the water house overlays one step further, the IC (the cusp of the Fourth House) is the heart of the chart. If the Fourth House represents childhood and home, the IC is a concentration of this energy. Any aspects to the IC from a partner’s planets will have an impact, but a conjunction is the most intense and, when it comes to establishing an intimate connection, almost priceless. If Tom’s Jupiter conjuncts Lauren’s IC, he will have an expansive and uplifting effect on her. She will feel instantly comfortable talking about her childhood and will want to invite him back to her place. She may also look up to him as a guide or teacher regarding family issues. It’s possible that he may magnify any issues she has about her weight, eating disorders or fears of abandonment. But chances are if she talks to him about it, he’ll be receptive and supportive.
But what if Tom’s Uranus conjuncts her IC instead? He may trigger all of the above issues (and reveal some that she is not aware of) in an abrupt way that Lauren finds liberating or jarring. His background might be radically different from hers, but it may be the breath of fresh air she needs. She may never feel quite settled with him, but she will definitely not be indifferent to him. Going back to Jason and Patty, let’s say his planets are not just in her Fourth House but exactly conjunct her IC: the Father/childhood issues he brings up will be magnified. All this intimacy is great for impacting someone on a deep level, but what is it that indicates both people will stick together for the long haul?
Saturn Contacts to The Personal Planets or Angles
Despite the initial attraction and deep emotions, Jason and Patty did not make it as a couple. Lauren and Tom, however, are still going strong. Why? Lauren and Tom have significant Saturn contacts between them. Without these contacts, the partners will feel no reason to commit to each other. The most potent are contacts to the other’s personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) or the cusps of their First, Seventh, Fourth or Tenth houses (the Angles). Saturn contacts between the generational planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Pluto) will still be felt but not on a personal level.
Tom’s Saturn is trine Lauren’s Moon. He feels responsible for her emotional needs and she feels that she can depend on him. It’s helpful (but not essential) if Lauren’s Saturn also aspects one of Tom’s personal planets (or one of his angles) so that the sense of responsibility is not one-sided. Let’s say her Saturn is square his Mars: she may act as an authority figure and Tom may respect her but also feel restricted by her. Even though it’s a challenging aspect, it will still give the relationship staying power. In addition, Lauren’s Saturn could be conjunct Tom’s Tenth House cusp (MC). Lauren would feel responsible for his career or public image (she may even be his boss). This isn’t a romantic contact, but it does create a sense of commitment between the partners in one area of their lives. It gives them a reason to stay together and gives the other emotional/sexual/romantic contacts a foundation to grow on. If her Saturn were trine his Seventh House cusp (DC), she would be a loyal and dependable partner. These are not sexy or exciting aspects, but without them it would be very difficult for a relationship to develop.
So there you have it. The hook that draws people together, the impact, and the glue. Obviously this is not an exhaustive list as there are many, many other aspects and overlays which contribute to a significant relationship. However, in my opinion these are five of the most important ones and it is very rare that at least one of these is not present in a significant, long term relationship.[/show_to]
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