How to Tell if a Mars in Scorpio Man or Woman is Into You


Intimacy is a high stakes endeavor for Mars in Scorpio, because he goes all the way. Sex with Scorpio pushes the boundaries and will touch both of you at the deepest possible level. It will be obvious if he’s into you, but he is cautious about who he gets close too. Not everyone can handle his brand of intimacy, and not everyone meets his criteria. Think you’ve got what it takes to tangle with Mars in Scorpio?

Getting Close

If Mars in Scorpio is into you, she’ll have been observing you for awhile. She’s a cautious creature who wants to make sure that you meet her internal criteria before she approaches you. She’ll have no doubts about her initial attraction, because it’s usually immediate and compulsive. That’s not what she’s figuring out. She’s making sure that you have the capacity for depth and courage. She doesn’t do timid or superficial. If you make the first move (she’ll radiate a certain kind of intensity that’s irresistible for some) she may turn you down. Either she’s not into you, and there’s nothing you can do to change her mind. Or she is into you, but she’s not ready. She prefers to make the first move, because she likes having control.

Once Mars in Scorpio decides it’s go time, there will be no coy flirtations. He’ll make a direct approach, and will want a one-on-one meeting (no group activities). A first date may not be entirely comfortable for you. At this point, much depends on how you handle intensity. Expect unnervingly prolonged eye contact and some deep silences. When he talks, he may share some weirdly intimate things. Even if he doesn’t physically touch you, you’ll feel like he’s trying to get under your skin. You may fill the silences with nervous chatter, and that will tell him a lot about you. You may shy away from the eye contact, and that will also give him essential information on how you handle his energy. You see, he’s evaluating you. He’ll be able to tell almost immediately if you have the capacity to handle his intensity, or if he scares you. He’s aware that many people simply cannot go as deep as he wants to go, and he’s not interested in wasting his time. By the end of the date, he’ll know if there’s going to be a second date, although you may have no idea. First date sex probably won’t happen, even if the chemistry is off the charts.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers over 19 years of experience in astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying practical astrological analysis to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.


  1. From a natal Mars in Scorpio, thank you for this brilliant article Nadia. Have a wonderful festive season!

  2. @Katie
    you’re welcome! Happy holidays to you as well.

  3. hazel taylor says:

    I have Mars in Scorpio, Sun in Virgo, Virgo Asc & Aries rising and this is very true for me, Ive also got Mars conjunct Pluto which I read also adds more intensity. I never really understood how people can have relationships without going this deep. with just small talk or talk of what to buy for dinner!? What your writing about its like life to me, like air to breath & I only ever met one man who wanted what comes with this & unfortunately I scared him off eventually I tore him apart verbally it wasn’t pretty I didn’t mean to. Ive now been single for 10 years, no one I have met in 10 years comes close to being able to give me what I need.

  4. This is an excellent write and pin-points the psychology of the Mars in Scorpio type. I do not have mars in Scorpio but, with Scorpio Rising, what is written simply smacks me in the face, especially about the sexual control. However, I would seek an explanation as to how Mars in Scorpio would react when seated in each of the Houses.. None-the-less; a great article.

  5. Yes, thank you for this. Mars in Scorpio, opposition to Venus & Jupiter in Taurus, squaring Pluto in Leo. If it’s not real or lacks depth, let’s just pack up our marbles and go home. I’m bored already. How many times over the years have I had a candid conversation – cordial, but with clarity – and the friendship slowly dissolves afterward. And there’s a zone, I think, maybe a foot from a person, where it can be positively electric, which can be one source of that gaze.

  6. @c-lee
    Wow…squaring Pluto in Leo will pack a punch.

  7. @Ron S King
    thanks, Ron.

  8. @hazel taylor
    yes, Mars conjunct Pluto will add even more. Mars is the conscious expression of Pluto’s unconscious urges.

  9. The countess says:

    @Nadia –
    Going off what Ron mentioned with the houses, how would Mars in Scorpio present in the 12h where so much is hidden? For example, are they aware of their need for control or is it subconscious? Do they pursue these deep desires and needs in secret or through things like subtle actions, etc.?

  10. I was nodding my head for everything until I got to the sex cliche. It’s mostly mental for me with my moon in Aqua. Everything else was spot on, especially seeing how someone reacts to prolonged silence and talks of alien invasions.

  11. Very interesting article. If Mars in Scorpio is retrograde natally, opposing the sun and squared by Pluto in Leo, will that change the intensity – or prevent it ever being expressed?

  12. Mars in skorpio venus moon sun in Aqua. ….hmm

  13. fifi alanou says:

    He: Mars AND Venus in Scorpio Me: Scorpio Mars, Aries Venus … any hope? oddly – he resists going deep which mystifies me …

  14. I have Mars in Scorpio, Sun in Scorpio, Mercury in Scorpio and Uranus in Scorpio.
    I definitely appreciate and value genuine love, depth and loyalty in a relationship.

  15. MVScorp says:

    Your Venus in Aries is likely trying to entice through a challenge or competition. If he has Sun, Moon or Rising in Fire it would help there. With Mars in Scorpio, he probably wants to own your soul (scary sentence for many, but with Mars in Scorpio yourself I bet you understand that). I would guess his resistance is he is questioning if you are after more than a conquest or looking to bond on a much deeper level. On your side it wouldn’t surprise me if you were looking for a little more agressiveness from him in initiating things.

  16. Hello there!
    Virgo woman here,moon-Taurus,ascendant-Taurus,venus-leo,mars-leo… Most of men I’ve had where Aries. And I love them! Although I find them emotional immature a little bit… anyway,I recently met an Aries guy AGAIN! But his mars is in scorpio… at the first date he put his hands onto inappropriate places on my body… I told him not to hurry and we shall meet again the next days. Yes, there was a great chemistry and i really wanted to have sex with him. But not at the first date! So we did meet. But he was completely different, not touching, not kissing,nothing at all. But cool.. we did it some days later and it was, hmmm ok.. that happened 2 months ago! He told me that he wants things to go only as he wants, and that he knows he is acting like a refrigerator anyway and he wants ME to show him that I want him. And he says that I am not sexy and hot! I really don’t understand him. The only moves he makes (sometimes) is caressing and looking deep in the eyes and maybe a quick little kiss. That’s all. When try to hug him and touxh him he goes away! I really don’t know what to do and this drives me crazy. Why is he doing these things?
    I am not used to these behaviours from men. I am used to direct men. And he asks all the time “what do u like about me?”
    Please help! Haha

  17. Oh, also i would like to add that with that mars he has he watches Bdsm porn… And tells many times that he wants to have control in everything.
    I know that many men find me sexy and attractive but he says he doesn’t… And that really hurts my lion mars and venus.. But he has an erection when he touches me. Why is doing things like that??

  18. i have had first date sex with two mars in scorpios in my life so that’s a lie. LOl. They inotiated too. Mars in Pisces female Venus in Virgo.

  19. Moonean Pysces says:

    Well, your Venus is squared to his mars so that’s already a clash in sexual styles and intimate desire. On top of that, your mars in Leo is also clashing with his mars in Scorpio via another square- big irritation when it comes to sexual styles! I know they mention house placements, natal aspects and synastry aspects tell a grander story but at the end of the day your sign placements just don’t work. Also, it sounds like he’s playing games and is insecure asking why you like him. However, there are some scorpios that are shy and withdrawn like this (they probably have something to hide though), sonmy advice would be to just pounce on him and give him your all passionately!!!! See what he gives back. But then again…..if the sex was just ok than, really why bother? Onto the next one!

  20. Both. It depends on their level of self awareness and development. I have mars in Scorpio in the 12th and for most of my life, i wasnt even aware of the need to control..I just felt like life was out of control, period. It’s very hard to assert it consciously. I did assert control secretly though, through petty crimes and questionable actions.

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