Credit: rgbspace via iStockphoto
If you read synastry articles, you’ve probably learned that it’s all about the aspects. In order for there to be a connection between two people, certain planets (or points) in one chart must have a conversation (symbolized by a conjunction, opposition, trine, sextile, square or inconjunct) with planets in the other chart. But did you know there’s another layer that involves no inter-aspects (aspects between two charts)? It’s not obvious, but it can add crucial information about a relationship.
Before I tell you more, let me reiterate that inter-aspects are still necessary for two people to become aware of each other. No aspects, no connection. They are the foundations of synastry, and they’ve been explored in other Sasstrology articles. But once you get past the aspects, sometimes there’s more to the story. If Person A’s Venus (for example) is in a similar “condition” to Person B’s Venus, there will be a mutual understanding (even if there is no aspect between them). Sometimes, the shared understanding can be strong enough to create a major theme in the relationship.
Venus-Saturn Connections
Miranda’s Venus is conjunct Saturn. She struggles with low self-esteem; Saturn casts his shadow of doubt over how attractive/desirable she feels (Venus). But she yearns for a long-term relationship, and is capable of hanging in to the bitter end, once she gets involved. She meets Roger, who has a square between his Venus and Saturn. There’s inter-aspects between their charts, but none between her Venus/Saturn and his Venus/Saturn. We might be tempted to ignore the connection.
But Roger’s relationship issues are similar to Miranda’s; fear (Saturn) and love (Venus). As soon as he’s in a situation where he might express affection, he’s sure he’ll be rejected. Therefore, he budgets his expressions of love and looks for someone safe (to minimize the risk of getting hurt). Miranda is ultra dependable, and he likes that. She doesn’t receive a lot of affection from Roger, but that’s ok because this confirms what she feels (that she’s not worth it). They enable each other’s fears.
Not a happy connection, but it’s an important dynamic that might have been completely overlooked. Where they go from here depends on their inter-aspects, and the strength of their composite chart. It also depends on how aware they are of their own Venus/Saturn issues. If Miranda can stop settling for less, and Roger can let down his guard, they can spin this into a solid, mutual commitment. The upside of any natal Venus/Saturn aspect is the ability to take love very seriously.
Neptune Connections
Mike is a Taurus Sun with a Saturn/Neptune opposition. Saturn rules his Seventh House of relationships. Due to Neptune’s illusory energy, his ideal relationship is a hyper-idealized version of the truth. Neptune’s fantasies undermine Saturn’s realities, and he is often “helplessly” led into partnerships that dissolve into disappointment. For Mike, relationships equal sacrifice. He meets Virgo Beth, whose Mars is square Neptune. She is drawn to men whom she thinks she can save, but she also has unrealistic ideals about men in general. The artists, the addicts and the guys with so much potential always let her down in the end. Her Mars and Neptune make no aspects to Mike’s Seventh House cusp, natal Saturn or Neptune. Their Suns form a practical, earthy trine with each other.
Yet they both enter the relationship in a fit of romantic longing, rose-colored glasses firmly in place. Beth is drawn to Mike’s romantic ideals (and his helplessness). Mike sees in Beth someone who finally understands him. He reasons that she won’t hurt him, because she’s been hurt. Whether or not their relationship collapses depends on the strength of their synastry aspects (some grounding Saturn inter-aspects are a must). But if they are each prepared to confront their romantic illusions, they can have a partnership filled with gentle understanding that won’t buckle under the weight of reality.
Nodal House Connections
He meets Jess, with her South Node in Second House Aries and North Node in Eighth House Libra. It’s easy for her to rely on her own resources, and be indepdent (Aries). She can be quite selfish. The challenge is to balance (Libra) her needs with another’s. Not just on a superficial level, but in areas that involve sharing her personal power (sexual and emotional). There are no planetary contacts between their Nodes, or their Nodal rulers. There’s even a passionate, flowing trine between her Venus and his Mars (with some uninhibited Uranus contacts mixed in).
But when they get together, one of their sticking points is learning to be intimate with each other. Sex, and any kind of sharing, feels awkward. Through their relationship, they can each develop their North Nodes (which represent unfamiliar territory). But first, they will have to get past the mutual challenge of backsliding into self-protective (Second House) behaviour.
There are many other examples of seemingly unconnected planets or points (between charts) that resonate with each other. Not all of them will create a major theme in the relationship. The strongest usually involve Nodes in the same natal houses, or a similar natal connection between a personal (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) and outer (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) planet. These connections, which go beyond inter-aspects, can create a richer understanding of the relationship between two people.
Related Posts:
About Nadia Gilchrist
Nadia,
I like the article, and I am going to refer back to your Seventh House North Node in Relationships article. My boyfriend and I both have our north nodes in the 7th house, mine in Cancer and his in Libra. My moon (cancer) is in my 2nd house with a Virgo placement “modest, introverted, analytical of feelings, reserved, and careful; exalted giving reserve emotional energies, a sense of rhythm and moods”. His venus (libra) is in the 6th house with a Leo placement. I think it’s actually afflicted though. Him, moreso than me, likes to have his space and independence. He’s a very private person, but I’ve found those aspects in his chart, so I don’t go overboard with them much anymore. I’m kind of a private person, too. We don’t communicate much throughout the day and we spend time learning things together when we do spend time together. But, in description of a north node in the 7th house, are we kismet at being together, yet looking outward? Does that make sense? We were not coworkers when we met, but I was already a regular at his place of work. We’ve both been commitment phobes, but um… I’m thinking the 7th house NN is bringing us together… we are supposed to move in together in a few months and we’ve both been talking about marriage. Just wondering how two 7th house NN can do with each other lol! the 7th house….. partnerships *gulp*
Ahh… did some more research. He is a Cancer sun and my family aspect in the NN Cancer is being highlighted by his closeness to family and his nurturing ways to me. His NN is Libra challenges him to bring someone like me, Mars in Libra (Aqua Sun) boundaries and limitations on what I think he can and cannot do. Together, we are finding a balance.
i am a venus in cap and i have venus sq saturn, venus in 7th. i dated a fellow venus in cap and venus trine saturn, saturn in the 7th. i always felt as if, he was stingy with his affection and need alot of affirmation. the more affirmation i gave him, the more he would loosen up. he needed it constantly and daily. i think venus in cap or venus in aspect to saturn is tough on men since theyre traditionally supposed to take the lead but he was uncomfortable with doing so.
the problem was, i also needed that affirmation. because i knew astrology, i gave more than what i got. he was more comfortable giving affection to other people because he wasnt emotionally involved with them, so there would be no rejection. but with me, he walked on egg shells which caused me to feel rejected alot. my moon in scorp can only take so much.
my saturn also trined his sun.
Lol…funny. Me and Boo have alot of sextiles and squares, so it’s either an easy going friendship type of love that is heavenly or we drive eachother CRAZY!…and love every single bit of it. I just realized this past week that one of the reasons why we relate to eachother SO well is because of what this article describes. We are both Sun in the 11th house people, so our friendships, particularly the friendship between us is of UTMOST importance. While both of our moons fall into eachother’s first houses and there are other inter planetary aspects that add alot of “stick to it-ness” to our relationship, I was wondering how in the hell two mutable moon squares get along so dang well and relate on so many levels. It’s because we share alot of similar natal aspects. Even the nodal is similar, except that my SN in Gem is in my 2nd house and NN Sag in the 8th and his SN Libra is in the 8th house, with his NN Aries in the 2nd. I think one of the reasons why it “works” right now, is because of the significant age difference. 13 years. So, right now he is totally in his SN Libra in the 8th, while I’m living out my NN Sag in the 8th. I wonder what will happen after his Saturn return? However, that is a ways off, so really…I don’t have to worry about it right now, but do want to know what affect his Saturn return could have on our relationship if we decide to make it official…ie marry.
what about if his moon is in my 7th house conjunct my jupiter? does that make any weight at all?