How To Tell if a Mars in Cancer Man or Woman Is Into You

Credit: Tuned_In via iStockphoto

Credit: Tuned_In via iStockphoto

Mars in Cancer is a mix of caution and aggression. Reserved at first, he only makes a move if he feels safe (which happens after he’s spent some time observing you). But he’s a Cardinal sign, which means he initiates. So if he is attracted to you, he’ll move forward rather abruptly. This blend of holding back/jumping forward can be confusing. Should you make the first move? If he’s not making a move, is he uninterested, or simply biding his time?

The Sensitive Aggressor

When dealing with Mars in Cancer, remember that she is ruled by the Moon, which makes her extremely sensitive and changeable. Emotional safety is her priority, and her actions are a response to this. Initial standoffishness is due to her protective shell. She may not react favorably if you make the first move, because she feels safer when she’s in control. And if she doesn’t know you, you’re automatically in the suspicion zone until she gathers more intel.

But she is a Cardinal sign, which means she’s impatient. If she’s into you, she won’t keep you waiting for long. Her approach may feel abrupt, because it appears to come out of nowhere. But she’ll have been quietly scoping you out for a while. If you feel safe enough for her to approach (meaning, she senses that you’re not going to stomp all over her boundaries) she’ll move in. You’ll know she’s into you if she suggests going out to eat, or (even better) cooking. If she actually invites you back to her place (which is unlikely to happen on a first date, but you never know) you’ve hit the jackpot. Home is her sacred space. She’s a domestic, nurturing sign, so offers of hugs and help are signals that she’s into you.

A note of caution: sometimes she wants to protect anyone she cares about, whether or not she’s attracted to them. So don’t take a hug or visit to her home as an immediate sign that you’re going to be lovers. She may just want to help you out as a friend. Fortunately, if she wants more than friendship, she’ll make that clear, very quickly. Again, it’s best to let her make the first move. If she’s not interested in being lovers, unsolicited sexual contact from you will be an absolute dealbreaker. She has no problems severing ties with someone who steps over her line.

Keeping the Home Fires Burning

Once you and Mars in Cancer are involved, the game will change. When the two of you have established a comfort zone, he’ll prefer it if you’re the aggressor. Cancer is a confusing mix of assertive Cardinal and receptive feminine energy. So you may have to take on the “male” role as the sexual initiator. Having said this, you’ll have to respect Cancer’s boundaries at all times. Pay attention to what he says and doesn’t say. When Mars in Cancer is feeling safe, sexy and open, he’ll be all over you with loving (sometimes smothering) physical contact. When he’s feeling hurt, offended or invaded, he will curl into himself and avoid all touching. Then, it will be up to you to figure out what the problem is. Sex with Mars in Cancer is a fully immersive experience, with undertones of mothering. If that raises the “ick” factor, know that this Moon-ruled sign is based on maternal instincts. He’ll want to be held, he’ll want to hold you, and sex will be about more than the physical act. If the emotional connection disappears, he won’t stick around for long.

No matter how social she is, Mars in Cancer has an introverted side. If you’re not prepared to spend some quality time at home with her, she won’t be happy. If you take advantage of her nurturing by not returning the favor, she won’t be happy. If you block out her efforts to care for you, she won’t be happy. There’s no guarantee that she’ll want babies, or that she’ll get along with her biological family. But she will insist that you become part of her existing family (whatever that consists of). Her definition of family may include children, pets or friends, but she’ll want to build some kind of nurturing unit with you. If you’re not up for that, she definitely won’t be happy. You may think that she sounds like a demanding lover, and you’re correct. Mars in Cancer is The Mother who asserts her will through the care and feeding of those she loves. Few planet/sign combos will nurture you with their entire heart and body, like this one.

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