The Moon is the heart of the natal chart. When a person needs security, they turn inward to its familiar, intimate energy. It represents childhood and mother. Its element is water. Any feelings (or lack thereof) in love relationships will be decided by the condition of the natal Moon.
Uranus in the natal chart is responsible for upheaval. Its energy comes from a distant place, blasting away the things that need to be changed. It represents anything new, innovative or shocking. Its element is air. It is the universal alarm clock.
Anytime the Moon makes an aspect to Uranus in the natal chart, the emotional and the detached are combined. A good illustration of this is the moment of birth: the infant is yanked from its safe, watery environment and feels the awakening slap of cold air. What does this mean for the Moon-Uranus person in a relationship?
It helps to understand where the Moon-Uranus person is coming from. The Moon in any hard aspect (conjunction, opposition, square) to Uranus can indicate a traumatic event in childhood where security was ripped away. A quick word about aspects: I am focusing on hard aspects because they indicate trauma more than the harmonious trines and sextiles. Although all Moon-Uranus aspects will have a similar theme, the way the energies interact will vary according to the aspect. In a square, the two planets are butting heads. The opposition has the two planets at opposite ends of a table shouting at each other. The conjunction is the two in an uneasy dance where both partners try to lead.
The Moon-Uranus child’s response to trauma was deciding not to trust in emotional safety ever again. As an adult, this memory is carried into relationships. The Moon-Uranus person feels and acts like a detached outsider, reluctant to form any long-term bonds. They can develop an uncompromising attitude in relationships as a way of protecting themselves, deciding on the level of freedom and commitment without discussing things with their partner.
Their approach to committed relationships varies from restlessness to outright panic. What the Moon-Uranus person fears is being trapped and hurt. Someone with a Moon-Uranus square may be continually attracted to unreliable types. The energy of the square causes open tension which drives them forward to do something now. They can throw themselves into destructive relationships which they know, on some level, will not last. Or they may abruptly end a relationship if their partner (usually without knowing) restricts their freedom in some way. Someone with a Moon-Uranus opposition may dither for years over committing to anyone. The opposition causes a hard-to-define underlying tension. With a conjunction there may be less tension, but the energy of Uranus will still be prominent. They will stubbornly insist that the relationship operate according to their idea of commitment, which will not be typical. It may range from having an open relationship to simply needing more alone time than most people.
Moon-Uranus is not an emotionally stable combination. By itself, the energy of the Moon is constantly changing (reflecting its phases in the sky). Uranus has an erratic energy that can flare up and die quickly. Moon-Uranus people are drawn to whatever is new (Uranus is responsible for love or lust at first sight). But new fades quickly, and as a relationship settles into routine, the Moon-Uranus person finds their interest waning and finally disappearing. Sensations feel dulled, as if they were wrapped in a thin sheet of plastic.
Being involved with a Moon-Uranus person can be bewildering. The relationship starts with a glorious rush. The partner is flattered and overwhelmed by the attentions of this fascinating outsider. Over time, the partner notices how the Moon-Uranus person flatly refuses to do certain things (like making plans more then a few days in advance). The partner wonders how someone so apparently free-spirited can be so rigid at the same time. During conversations, the Moon-Uranus person will suddenly switch off: they’ll continue to talk, but emotionally they’ve left the room. Attempts to build intimacy cause them to distance themselves further.
Many Moon-Uranus types may be perfectly aware of the roots of their behaviour. Uranian detachment brings insight, so they are able to stand back and observe themselves. They may even offer helpful explanations to their partners. While this sounds healthy, it’s actually another way for the Moon-Uranus person to escape. For example, a Moon-Uranus person discovers that their partner is cheating. They will feel hurt, but the instant the hurt becomes apparent, they jump back to a safe distance. Whatever feelings they had for their partner have been replaced with numbness. Their reaction, depending on the rest of their chart, may range from, “No worries, it happens,” to, “Right. I’m leaving now”. Either way, it’s unlikely that they will be intimate with their partner again. The partner, expecting a display of hurt and/or anger, is confused. The Moon-Uranus person may calmly explain that they feel numb, and this reminds them of the time when they were six and their Dad walked out. Rather than feeling what’s happening, they describe the absence of feeling.
But before we write off Moon-Uranus folk as being condemned to a life of watching from the sidelines, remember that everything in astrology has two sides. The insight these people have into their emotions is a powerful tool. They’ve already covered the territory that others spend years in therapy trying to work through. They are not possessive, and they give their partners just as much freedom as they ask for themselves. They don’t hold grudges: these are the people who remain friends with their exes. And let’s not forget the power of Uranus as the great awakener. If you’re involved with a Moon-Uranus person, you’re involved with an innovator and rule-breaker. Get ready to toss any stale ideas about relationships out the window.
The key for the Moon-Uranus person is compromise and patience. With compromise, they will find that the freedom they have been guarding so closely is actually more available to them. If they suggest rather than insist, they will find that their partner is usually open to giving them the space they need. With the right partner, they will also find that the switching off of emotions is not a permanent condition. If they wait out the numbness, it often fades and the feelings they had for their partner are still there.
Inside all Moon-Uranus people is a conflict between the need to belong and the desire to break free. Not belonging makes them uneasy, but being part of something makes them uncomfortable. Are they capable of having a long-term, committed relationship? Yes – if they want one. It is entirely possible for them to be part of a relationship where they can be free to feel safe.