The Detached Lover: Aspects Between The Moon and Uranus in the Natal Chart

Moon-Uranus AspectsThe Moon is the heart of the natal chart. When a person needs security, they turn inward to its familiar, intimate energy. It represents childhood and mother.  Its element is water.  Any feelings (or lack thereof) in love relationships will be decided by the condition of the natal Moon.

Uranus in the natal chart is responsible for upheaval. Its energy comes from a distant place, blasting away the things that need to be changed. It represents anything new, innovative or shocking. Its element is air. It is the universal alarm clock.

Anytime the Moon makes an aspect to Uranus in the natal chart, the emotional and the detached are combined. A good illustration of this is the moment of birth:  the infant is yanked from its safe, watery environment and feels the awakening slap of cold air.  What does this mean for the Moon-Uranus person in a relationship?

It helps to understand where the Moon-Uranus person is coming from.  The Moon in any hard aspect (conjunction, opposition, square) to Uranus can indicate a traumatic event in childhood where security was ripped away.  A quick word about aspects: I am focusing on hard aspects because they indicate trauma more than the harmonious trines and sextiles.  Although all Moon-Uranus aspects will have a similar theme, the way the energies interact will vary according to the aspect.  In a square, the two planets are butting heads.  The opposition has the two planets at opposite ends of a table shouting at each other.  The conjunction is the two in an uneasy dance where both partners try to lead.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers 15 years of experience in Evolutionary and Traditional astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying astrology and tarot readings with a clear, practical approach to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.


  1. Nadia,
    You’ve hit the nail on the head again! My oldest and dearest friend has this aspect and you have described her relationship patterns to a tee. And talk about someone who you can not pin down to a plan. I used to just have to show up at her house and tell her to “Shut up, don’t protest and just get the hell in the car” to get her to go somewhere with me. It’s like she found the immediacy intriquing.

  2. Thanks for this post. I have this placement on my chart and it describes me perfectly. I needed this!

  3. littlemermaid says:

    I have Moon biquintile Uranus, and this fits me quite well, except for the parts about enjoying spontaneous actions(Moon in Taurus).
    I also have tight Moon-Mars and Moon-Jupiter conjunctions, as well as a pretty tight square betweeen Moon and Mercury, and Moon sesquisquare Saturn and Neptune.
    I, too, have felt a life-long push-and-pull energy between wanting to belong and finding it extremely uncomfortable. It’s like the moment I start to feel accepted into a group, or by one person, I start to pull away.
    I’ve never had a romantic relationship, and very few and not too close friendships, although I always longed for deep passion and a real romantic connection with someone. It’s weird, but it’s like no matter how much I’d like romance, I still think I’m better off alone.
    That stuff about being able to analyze myself fits very well, as well as being able to detach myself from just about anything and anyone. and falling in love at first sight..etc etc.

  4. Wow. .. … That was an incredibly precise breakdown. From so many angles it makes it impossible to discredit. Excellent observation.

  5. Hi Nadia, I followed this related link from your most recent post. You just described my friend. Uranus conjunct his AC in scorpio 12H, opposite moon in Taurus 6H conjunct his DC. He was bereaved of a parent in childhood. Lot to think about. Another great article! :)

  6. I ask on other theme about Moon in Scorpion Conjuction Uranus…Does anybody have this combination??
    It is really confusing.

    My ex has it.

  7. hi sunmoon! I have moon conj uranus in scorpio in the 5th house…..well its not an easy combination but yet i love it. Its all true what is written here…..most times am really like a detached lover. This is the best article I have ever read about myself and how i behave in relationships. I can be rellay detached but at the same time i need depth (scorpio) to experience. My whole love life is a bit crazy and i know am not easy to handle – even to myself. Most of the time i dont “need” a relationship but at the same time i love to love. But i dont need physical closeness 24 hrs a day to enjoy love. For me the ideal relationship is with someone who is very loving, open-minded, has depth and not possessive. I need to have a very deep bond with someone (i think this is a scorpio thing), a bond that cannot be betrayed. A bond that survives everything.
    But i think its not the same when this combination is in a woman s chart. In a man s chart maybe it shows the type of women he s attracted too.

  8. I have moon. Biquintile uranus and this describes me vey well. It’s been very difficult for me to sustain a long term relationship. It took a long time for me to realize I was the emotionally unstable one. Although I like my freedom I would prefer a committed relationship but as soon as my partner shows any sign of emotional doubt I get ready to run for the hills. I found this post searching for a Chiron square ascendant explanation. Apparently there is something from my childhood that needs addressing but don’t know quite what it could be. Someone above said that as soon as their partner seems to be accepting they detach. That happens to me a lot too. One of my problems though is that I do need to have things laid out. Strong saturn. Used to be impulsive but grew out of it. I do have a safe emotional state where I go when I’m uncomfortable which usually means retreat. Confuses other because they think I don’t like them which I do. I believe I can overcome this in a relationship with good communication. Have been practicing patience and am very good at compromising. Recently realized that single might be best for me and my partner. Haven’t committed to that either. Smile.

  9. Sherry Hanson says:

    Pisces 9th house moon conjunct chiron, opposed a Uranus, Mercury, Pluto stellium. Scorpio Neptune in 4th apex of a t square to sun opposed Saturn. Mars conjunct IC.

    I had an upbringing from hell. My mother was the nurturing parent and she was severely addicted to dangerous prescription narcotics and was very depressed. My dad beat her to a pulp and left us far behind to run off with another woman.

    I am learning a lot about astrology. I am full of remorse, my son has Moon square Mars and it’s all my fault. I tried to give him everything while struggling to raise him alone with my own mental health/self esteem issues.

    My son is now 19 and very successful in his young life. He has a grand cross in his chart and I notice more and more how angry I seem to make him and if I spend a small amount of time with him I feel he pushes me to the brink where I cannot take anymore and I end up throwing a huge angry fit. It became a cycle of where I tried everything to accommodate him and became out of control with rage when I felt he deliberately pushed me too far and caused me to be either extremely scared or was just plain obnoxiously rude.

    As a result, we now have such a rocky relationship and my guilt over it is a never ending cycle. I try my best to give of myself unconditionally because all I want is to be a good mother and provide whatever he may need. These examples suit me to a tee unfortunately. Thanks for explaining it all to us.

  10. Sherry Hanson says:

    I do have one positive thought to contribute. I am now 51 and four years ago a wonderful man literally walked into my home to ask me about something I had advertised for sale and is now my beloved boyfriend.

    In four years we have never argued or fought. He is almost 15 yrs. older and has been married for almost his whole adult life. I love my space and independence so it works for us.

    I know he would hate to feel walked over or clung upon. He is a caring cancer and we seem to not have too many secrets. I honestly have never felt more secure. He showers me with attention and aids me financially. I find myself in the position of never being able to relocate as it would destroy our beautiful and completely fulfilling love. Thankfully I am for the most part happy with where I live although I daydream about moving somewhere else because I am unstable with my moon opposed Uranus.

  11. Well if this wasn’t a huge answer I’ve been waiting for with someone from my past…. thank you! I can let go now

  12. It is very hard to read this. But actually it is like a prescription to all my relationships problems.
    I have Moon-Uranus opposition in my natal chart.

    FURTHERMORE, I have Saturn retrograde in the 7th house.

    Very difficult for me to be romatically involved and make it work.

  13. This is amazingly accurate, except that every person has other synastry. Me for one; I have many planets in Scorpio which makes me a little more possessive. I have this aspect in tight orb; within 3 degrees. I have been to therapy and it has helped me. Instead of not making plans, I am insistent on making plans so that I am not left out in the cold. I tell my friends; you don’t need to constantly check in to see if the plan is still on; once I make a plan you can consider it solid. I would only cancel if there is an an emergency. I do have some friends that don’t make me feel safe, and with them, I will NOT make plans. I opt for the last minute, even though I might very much want to see them. It is really hard sometimes. I have found a person in relationship who gives me the delicate balance of alone time and together time. This person speaks his mind and backs it up with actions! That has helped me so much to trust and not want to bolt! We are not married and I am not sure we ever will be married, because he was married before and it didn’t go well. It has taken until I am in my 50s to get to this, but I am glad I found astrology and I am glad I found him!

  14. great article. I have Moon conjunct Uranus in Scorpio, both conj AC. Didn’t have any childhood trauma , but I experienced abandonment in my mid 20s, by my long time boyfriend. Since then I don’t trust emotional safety and it’s been very hard convincing myself that not all men are gonna suddenly leave me. In relationship I need deep connection and emotion but at the same time lots and lots time for myself. Any sign of possessiveness and I’m gone.

  15. blaine taylor says:

    Hi there,

    I’m curious about a natal Moon/Uranus “Sesqui-quadrate” aspect and how the energy could manifest in an individual?

  16. Ourania says:

    I have nataly
    Moon conj Uranus in my 7th house in Sagittarius
    I’m Gemini rising with Mercury opposition moon Uranus.
    For many years I was exactly as described.
    I am an adopted child and my sun is in my 12th (father passed away when I was a newborn).
    I met my husband some years ago.
    He’s a Leo with Sagittarius rising.
    He has Jupiter in his rising sign opposition my mercury and conjunction my moon/Uranus.
    His moon is in scorpio (11th house), we have a dual whammy moon/Jupiter.
    He’s been very soothing to me. Although I still can’t trust … And it drives him crazy.
    Just saying there is a light that never goes out even for Uranians. We can all form bonds. We just need to figure out what we want, why and maybe if we’re lucky we can meet someone who’s good for us.
    My only scare if he has enough of me one day. I don’t know how moon Uranus will cope with it. Strangely my moon Uranus has been forever looking for a possibility to feel secure. It’s been a real longing.
    I have Venus trine Uranus in my chart too.

  17. J Focus says:

    Let me elaborate on how this energy feels. I have the conjunction at near 0 degree orb and I’m a cancer sun which makes the moon my ruler and makes uranian influence quite potent. There is always a feeling of detachment towards family, especially the traditional members and/or ones that follow the status quo. Friends are more like family. It took me a long time, well into my 20’s to form a really close, intimate relationship. Your partner is going to need to understand your need for freedom from everything at times and time away for research or whatever alone. Even so, I’ve been married for almost 15 years in a wonderful union. So don’t let this aspect make you think your never going to have a magnetic relationship. Jealously is non-existent. I find myself sometimes directly opposed to conventional societal expectations. And see myself as a sort of social anarchist. It takes time, well into adulthood, to really enjoy the clarity this aspect eventually brings to your life.

  18. Hi,

    I have both Moon and Venus conjunct in Cancer, in the 9th house.

    So, BOTH my Moon & Venus Square my Uranus in Libra, which is in the 12 Th house.

    It describes me well regarding my views on relationships.

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