How to keep a Scorpio man interested
May 13, 2009 by Fern Feto Spring
Scorpio: Mysterious, deep, intense, sexy and brooding. Intimidating? A little. Intriguing? A lot. So how do you keep this particular astrological specimen from getting bored, complacent and blah about you and your relationship? More to the point, how can you contribute to the health, vitality and sustainability of your relationship with a Scorpio man?
Relationship games may entertain a Scorpio man for a little while, but they aren’t the core of what keeps a Scorpio man “on the hunt” with you. So while you may find that making him jealous and trying new sexual positions seems to elicit some kind of response from him, the response you are likely to get is probably not what you you’re going to want over the long term.
Because Scorpios are creatures of many layers — and as brutally honest with themselves as they are with you — they value depth and emotional power above anything else. Showing a Scorpio your deepest truths and most authentic self signals to them that you are someone of interest. Emotional courage, strength and complexity is endlessly intriguing to a Scorpio. Because the very nature of a complete emotional experience is change and transformation, when you are in an empowered place around your emotions, Scorpio is instantly alert and aware, “on his toes” so to speak. They love the mystery of these quickly changing emotional forces and deep psychic transformations.
Yes, they actually are turned on by displays of strong feeling, yet even more than that alone, they are impressed and intrigued by strong emotions handled with power, confidence and courage. Essentially, authenticity is what keeps a Scorpio coming back. Like a laser beam, Scorpio can instantly and easily see through any falseness and superficiality. Trying to fake the display of false emotion or sharing manufactured traumas in an attempt to impress them will only breed their contempt. Scorpios are tough customers in love, and they don’t like any kind of BS. They might seem to be entertained by your antics and momentarily distracted, but a real Scorpio is going to eventually want more.
Ultimately, the more you know yourself and feel comfortable in feeling and expressing who you are honestly and with passion, the more you will keep a Scorpio’s interest alive. Of course, where a Scorpio is involved, the benefits of infusing a regular diet of kinky sex into your relationship cannot be overemphasized. Keep it frequent and keep it interesting, and you will keep them on their toes.
About the Author
Fern Feto Spring, M.A., has been practicing astrology since 1990. She is a graduate of Steven Forrest’s astrological apprenticeship program, and has a Master’s Degree from Sonoma State University. Fern is the co-author (with Jen Zurick) of “Simply Sacred: Everyday Relationship Magic,” a just released book from Clean Sisters Press. Contact her for readings and astrology classes (on-line and in person) at www.wisestars.net.
Related posts:
- What does a Scorpio man want in a woman?
- How to satisfy a male Scorpio in bed
- How do you win a Scorpio male’s affections for good?
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Great article, this is so on point.
Yes, they actually are turned on by displays of strong feeling, yet even more than that alone, they are impressed and intrigued by strong emotions handled with power, confidence and courage. <-Very true!
Thanks
I’m a rising Scorpio female but this speaks to meeeeee. Esp this:
“They might seem to be entertained by your antics and momentarily distracted, but a real Scorpio is going to eventually want more.”
To all the guys I’ve just abruptly cut off … this is why! lol. Sorry, you are too wack for me. Opps.
Hi Brook and Eagle, thanks for your kind words about this posting, as someone who has dated a number of Scorpio men, I was speaking from experience…..
Though I seem to have ended up with a Libra man, his Venus in Scorpio reminds me often of those Scorpio men:)
Aw well I’m a Libra with a Venus in Scorpio and i can tell you that I feel sooo much like a Scorpio in a relationship. Soo much. I think it’s great because you get that intensity and loyalty of Scorpio but I will tell you that i don’t think I’m an easy person to love..Holding so much paranoia and jealousy inside when I love someone, it’s torturous :X. Still I think Libra sun/Scorp venus is a prized combination to have in many ways. Good luck with your libra man!
Yeah, I am a Libra with Venus in Scorpio as well.. I only have my Sun in Libra and three planets in Scorpio plus Mars sq Pluto in Sc.. I do feel like a Scorpio most of the time, especially in relationships, so I can totally relate.. I’ll agree it’s an interesting combination, but love can (and will) get torturous, as you said. There aren’t many out there who can handle us.
Hi Ladies,
Thanks for writing from the wisdom of your Sun in Libra/Venus in Scorpio perspectives!
Yes indeed, it is true that the sign your Venus is in, is like what you act like in relationships. I know I read this in some relationship astrology book as well, but can’t remember which one…..That’s why, someday soon, we’re going to be launching a “Venus/Mars” compatibility set of posts, so people can look up how their Venus relates to their partners Mars and vice versa. Because it really seems true that when people get into relationships, they often act more like their Venus sign than their sun sign.
As for my own man, he is awesome! I think the fact that he’s older (in his 50’s), has given him some maturity and self-discipline around some of the more challenging sides of the Libra Sun/Venus in Scorp. combo. When Venus in Scorpio continues to open up their heart and shed their potential cynicism and fear of hurt in relationship, they offer an amazing depth of feeling and loyalty that my Venus in Cancer really appreciates:)
You’re so right loreley… there aren’t many who can handle us. i’m too much and i know this. any suggestions on what a venus in scorpio should date? any particular sun or venus signs?
Fern, i’m excited about the mars/venus thing on here! sounds cool.
I think Venus in Scorpio does well with someone else who has Venus in a water sign-cancer, other Venus in Scorpio (my mom and stepdad both have Venus in Scorpio and have been happily married for almost 30 years…), Pisces is ok, but may not be challenging enough for Venus in Scorpio….
Strangely, Venus in Scorpio seems to resonate with Venus in Aries, maybe because both Aries and Scorpio were ruled by Mars in the ancient rulership system…
But, if your sun is in Libra too, I would think that the Venus in Aries might be a bit too much for you…
You’re right, I also recommend Venus in Cancer from my personal experience! He was the only one who seemed to handle my scorpionic ways in love, but his Mars in Leo didn’t help that much – me having Mars in Aquarius. Btw, a little heads up: a downside to the Venus in Scorpio/Venus in Cancer combo is that it might come in a package with planets in Scorpio squaring planets in Leo.. Love/hate, on/off, get out/come back sort of thing.. And yeah, Venus in Pisces is not enough to keep the flame. Anyway, Cancer V and Scorpio V are most likely to plunge the depths together, even if it’s often the depths of insanity
but this is why i think that Scorpios are actually so infuriatingly simplistic in a way..emotionally simplistic that is. they write off people’s “antics” out of some perceived emotional superiority (”too shallow for me”) without realizing that a bit of antics or obfuscation CAN be a sign of complexity. someone who has different sides, and has a strong enough sense of their emotional foundation to act out in ways that are not so direct or easily readable, or that may seem confusing/contradictory.
like it is out of their depth to understand this..scorpios think they are intuitive…but really, they are overly self-protected paranoids who, out of a narcissistic delusion- a fragile self construct, jump to conclusions that they presumptuously assume are cutting to the ‘raw truth’. (speaking for the average scorpio, sure there are many exceptions). it is a very simple form of ‘truth’ that they adhere by so that they can remain in a safe and superior place where another person can’t cut *them down emotionally.
i would say, the analytical nature of scorpio actually tends them more to the Intellectual than the emotional and that to ‘keep’ a scorp they ultimately just need to Trust you..which is why i agree they don’t like “antics”. despite what they may think the prob is not actually that it’s too “fake” but that it makes you less readable and predictable than is comfortable. like you do not need to be a particularly poised and exotic flower, but rather, you should just be interesting and intriguing yet SOLID (like the Earth signs they go along well with)..like u are not going to turn on the scorpio person, or leave them high or dry in some way.
maybe i could be way off and i hope i don’t sound sour!! i just have my own perception of scorpios. i am a Gemini sun and find myself skeptical of the prevailing notions of scorpios where their emotional “depth” is concerned. it also means i struggle to communicate clearly Lol, sorry for meanderingness =(. but thanks for the post..it is was food for thought for me.
Hi Bis,
You certainly don’t sound way off, and maybe you do sound a little sour, but frankly I think anyone who has had a negative Scorpio experience is going to be left a little (and probably a lot), sour, so, hey, go easy on yourself:)
As to the Scorpio nature (and I’m not talking here of just the sun sign, but anyone who has a strong “scorpio” or “”plutonic” scorpio influence in their chart).
I think every sign has a challenging and a positive side. What you describes is definitely part of the “negative” side of scorpio. I’m not sure that I agree that they intellectualize their feelings, to me, it’s more a hyper-awareness of emotions that may make them seem overly serious about them, which can seem perhaps intellectual.
I’ve seen both sides of the scorpio coin-the bad: ruthless, game playing, control freak, elitist jerks who can make life a living hell for anyone who crosses them and, the good:
Scorpio’s who have committed to healing and growing and who are some of the most deeply loyal, loving, perceptive, intelligent and interesting people you can ever find yourself in the presence of. Once a Scorpio does the Phoenix rising from the ashes thing (and I know some whose healing crises have been to literally be burned in accidents, etc.) they can clean out any backlog of bitterness and resentment they are carrying, and be incredible healing resources for others. These are the ones you want as your therapist, spiritual counselors or doctors. They can travel with you to the furthest reaches of the bottom and show you the way up with compassion and care.
So yes, Scorpio can be bad and yes, Scorpio can be good:) It’s the extremes that make them who they are.
hey, thanx for your reply!! i have actually never had a bad experience with a scorpio…i agree with another Gemini on the boards who has said they are like softies (the ones i know)..maybe it is the way our signs mix??
the following does not apply to your post actually, so imean no offense here it is rather just a buildup of things i have noticed around astrology boards that i am responding to so sorry to rant it out here. but jsut to clarify i meant sour more in that i see a general romanticization of Scorpios and that it is a marketing thing…tell the people what they want to hear. “i’m so deep, so intense, so special, people can’t handle it”, “yes you are, yes you are. just try not to sting anyone along the way! (*winkwink*)” kind of deal. it’s not the authors who i have ‘issue’ with anyway, i was a business major so i get it, but more that it feeds peoples egos and encourages dishonesty…not true introspection. again this is a Peripheral ‘rant’ i have so i’ll stop messing up on this thread no prob i understand.
i just see the quote ‘powerfulness’ of scorpios as a totally overblown image without much basis in reality and can’t help but want to bring it down a notch or twooo. i have a scorpio moon after all- so i am just a stingy mofo lol
Hey guys,
I’m a Leo girl who has given in (at least in the privacy of my own home) to an absolute fascination with a Scorpio guy, who I’m about 90% sure likes me. This article, among the millions of others I’ve read recently, offered some really great insight into what I may be getting myself into.
Through the posts, however, I noticed that you started discussing Venus/Mars sign compatibility….which has me a little confused. My Venus is in Virgo, Mars in Sag, his Venus is in Libra, Mars in Aries, so on the one hand our Venus/Mars compatibility isn’t bad but when you reverse it (Virgo/Aries) it’s not that great. Should both of these aspects be taken into account? Or is one Venus/Mars combo stronger than the other?
I’m a pisces teen (w/virgo ascendant and libra moon) and with all the scorpios i’ve dated NONE have seemed 2 work out too great..
Idk if its because i havent been around long enough because they seem too hard to get a hold of, or because i dont like the way they dont make me feel important or they dont care at times, but they always seem to hurt me the most and make me the craziest when i can easily blow other signs off. There just really hard 2 understand!
Maybe it will just take more time 2 be in a real relationship with one. 2 of my best friends have been scorpios but they were girls, so maybe the friends thing first might work better with guys. even though i havent had a successful relationship with one, we always keep in touch tho some way or another and talk once in a while =)
i have sun, mercury, and venus in gemini. i am not sure why, but i always attract venus in scorpio, and scorpio sun. my current boyfriend has venus and mercury in scorpio, and we have been together for almost 3 years. so, i would have to say venus in gemini is a compatible for venus in scorpio. i think that my care-free attitude is what keeps him interested. it is like a constant chase for him, and as long as i am honest and OPEN, i cannot stress being open enough, with him about my feelings – even if i am mad, sad, or pissed at him – he feels comfortable enough to keep chasing me and expressing his feelings to me. he told me that he loves me first, and that was before i slept with him! i would say just be open and honest about how you feel, even if you are mad, but do not act dramatic. express your feelings calmly and rationally. also, i did talk to him first. i noticed him staring at me at the bar, so i went up to him and initiated a conversation, but after that incident it has been him doing all of the chasing.
also, his sun is in sagittarius… *shrugs*… i have to be bossy to him, also. like, he used to stare me in the eyes when we were together, and it feltbas though he was staring into my soul. i would stare him back in the eyes, and not look away. then, he started to not look me in the eyes, even while talking to me, so i would grab his face and move his focus on me, and i would say, “you need to look me in the eyes when you speak to me.” that being said, be honest, open, dominate (they seem to like someone who stands up to them), intelligent, caring, faithful. do not be: dramatic, over-sensitive, fake, a pushover, uneducated. or my man may be different than most scorpios… and remember, do not change yourself or values for anyone. yes, we all have flaws that we could/should work on, but change them for you. the right person will love you unconditionally regardless of your flaws