Some romantic partners press your buttons just by walking into the room. You’re magnetized at the first meeting, and find it difficult to pull back from the relationship, even though they always tread on that one, thorny issue.
They make you uncomfortable, and yet you feel compelled to stick with them. What gives? They might just be your skipped step.
The Nodal Axis
The Nodal Axis is a karmic highway in your natal chart. There are two points (not planets) at either end. The South Node represents your past life.
The North Node represents what you need to do in this life to deal with South Node issues and evolve. Sometimes there is a flag in your chart that points to a specific, unresolved past life issue.
This is a planet that squares the North and South Nodes (in other words, it forms a square aspect to the Nodal Axis). The planet describes a skipped step, or a pressing issue from your past life.
When you meet someone with one or more planets that conjuncts your skipped step, they trigger the issue.
There is a strong past life connection between the two of you, because that person was part of your unresolved issue. When you meet them in this life, as a romantic partner, the pull can be extremely strong.
The feelings that arise can be complex and frustrating for both parties. Read on for some examples and tips on how both partners can deal with this situation.
Example 1: North Node in Scorpio/South Node in Taurus
Let’s start with Jack and his North Node in Scorpio, South Node in Taurus. Jack’s past life was based on security, preservation and looking out for himself (Taurus). In this life he can embrace that North Node energy by becoming comfortable with radical intimacy and letting down his guard (Scorpio).
Jack’s Venus in Aquarius squares his Nodal Axis. Along comes Jill, whose Sun conjuncts Jack’s Venus. She personifies his idea of feminine beauty with her cool, quirky, independent persona. She also triggers that skipped step, which means Jack is attracted to, but threatened by, her independence.
In a past life, she rocked his secure boat; perhaps they were in love but she was unsuitable because she challenged his limited value system (maybe he was a farmer and she was a rebel). She scared Jack, so he rejected her.
Here she is again in this life, and they pick up where they left off. Problem is, whenever Jill says she needs some time to herself, Jack responds as if his life has been threatened. When Jill uses her detached Aquarian insight to disagree with Jack, he either stubbornly clings to his opinion or cuts her off completely.
His reactions are so far out of proportion to what’s happening that Jill has considered breaking things off with him many times. But she hesitates to take this step because she feels the pull between them as well.
Jack can learn to open himself up to new ideas (and detachment) through his relationship with Jill. He may feel the urge to shut her down every time she expresses herself. But he can move past this if he realizes that the strength of his emotions are echoes from their previous life together.
Jill can use that Aquarian detachment to step back and realize that Jack is not rejecting her (exactly). This is Jack’s past life stuff, and she is just playing a part in it.
Example 2: North Node in Libra/South Node in Aries
For our next example, let’s say Ann’s South Node is in Aries, and her North Node is in Libra. It’s easy for Ann to be independent and do her own thing. Relationships (North Node Libra) and cooperating with other people are not one of her strengths.
They scare her because being in a partnership would mean losing her identity. In her past life, Ann’s existence might have depended on staying strong, staying separate and remaining unencumbered.
Ann’s Mars in Cancer is square her Nodal Axis. Here’s Henry with his Mars in the same degree of Cancer as Ann’s. Tons of sexual heat with Mars conjunct Mars, but he also triggers her distaste of nurturing.
Hugs make Ann feel smothered, and neediness is a turn-off. In a past life, Henry might have been overly dependent on Ann; perhaps he was crippled and she had to (grudgingly) nurse him back to health. Maybe she was a warrior who was sworn to protect him.
In any case, Ann abandoned him and did not fulfill her promise to protect.
Now Henry’s back with his Mars in Cancer, demanding affection. Ann might push him away again, or she could take a step forward and realize that her fear of being smothered/trapped is just that: a fear. Henry may have a vague, panicky feeling that Ann will break up with him.
The more he tries to push for commitment, the more he drives her away. Ann won’t help matters by keeping him at arm’s length. If both can wrap their heads around the idea that what they are feeling is part of an old, past life script, they can evolve together.
Using Your Skipped Step to Evolve
It’s always tricky when a romantic partner triggers your skipped step. There is a powerful draw, with an equally powerful frustration, or even repulsion. The details of your unresolved story can be found in the house positions of the skipped step planet and the North and South Nodes.
Your skipped step partner is more than just a painful reminder of your past life failings; they are your key to evolving in this life. But as always, it’s up to you and your partner, if you want to work through the story together and start a new chapter.
Or, you may decide to leave this one for the next life.