How to Tell if a Mars in Virgo Man or Woman Is Into You

Credit: FlairImages via iStockphoto

Credit: FlairImages via iStockphoto

At first glance, it’s not difficult to figure out if Mars in Virgo is attracted to you. This is the sign of service, so Mars in Virgo will show his or her affection by helping you. Now you’ve got a considerate partner (or potential partner) who will tend to your every need! Well, not quite. Eventually, Mars in Virgo’s helpfulness can turn to hectoring. And in some cases, Virgo will just walk out the door. What happened to your considerate lover?

The Evaluation Phase

Mars in Virgo will help almost anyone, as a matter of principal. But if he’s into you, he’ll go the extra mile by bringing you coffee every morning. Or, he’ll fix your computer, and upgrade your system while he’s at it. You may not take much notice of him, initially. But rest assured that he’s noticed you. You can ask for help and he’ll gladly oblige. The real test is if he volunteers his services. When he does get your coffee/fix your computer, everything will be customized for you. Your coffee will be that perfect mix of one and a half sugars with soy milk and a squirt of vanilla syrup. Your computer will run better than ever, since he’ll have adjusted the system configurations to match your pattern of use. If he’s into you, he’ll already know exactly what it takes to make your day run smoothly.

Mars in Virgo is somewhat shy and particular. She already knows who she wants. Is it you? You can ask her out, and if she’s not interested, she’ll be exceedingly polite. But the date will never happen. If she is interested, she’ll say yes, with no hesitation. When you’re out together, she’ll be gracious and charmingly humble. But nothing’s in the bag just yet. You’ll still be in the evaluation phase, because she doesn’t select just anyone to be her partner. She’ll be taking copious mental notes. At this stage, you can ruin things by being loud, rude or messy (she abhors these qualities). If you offend her, this will be your last date. But even if you pass with flying colors, physical contact is likely to be kept to a minimum, because she’s not big on PDAs. What she will do is ask you a ton of questions. Virgo is ruled by Mercury, and Mars in Virgo shows her interest by gathering information about you.

The Upgrade Phase

You’ve made it past the evaluation phase, but don’t expect Mars in Virgo to jump into bed right away. He’ll want to take his time, and there’s a reason for this. Although he’s probably a skillful lover (it’s important for this perfectionist sign to be a master at whatever he does) he will be self-critical. It will take him a while to get comfortable enough to expose his “flaws.” Chances are, his supposed flaws will be minimal, since his perfectionism extends to health, grooming, etc. But his standards will be several notches above everyone else’s, which means he’ll magnify everything about himself that’s not just so. He’ll want to be sure that you’re not going to recoil in horror. If you push for intimacy before he’s ready, he’ll pull away.

Mars in Virgo is an Earth sign, so he can be quite sensual, but that will always be aligned with his awareness of what might go wrong, and what he could do better. He’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy in the bedroom, sometimes to the exclusion of his happiness. If you suspect a hint of sacrifice in his approach to sex, you’re right; no matter how well-adjusted he is, Mars in Virgo will have a streak of masochism. It may be subtle or full-on, and it will emerge after you’ve been together for a while.

The other thing to understand about Mars in Virgo is that she’ll be obsessive about one or more areas of her life. She may or may not be a neat freak, but she will have a method of doing something (in and out of the bedroom) that must not be tampered with. You’ll think, “It’s no big deal if I let this slide, or do this thing differently than she instructed.” You’ll find that you’ve made a grievous error. While she is a Mutable sign and wants change (more about that in a moment) she can be as fixated as a Taurus about her routines. For Mars in Virgo, control is the path to correctness, and correctness is Virgo Nirvana.

That brings us to Mars in Virgo’s passion for improvement. He sees what could be fixed, which is why his helpfulness will manifest as criticism. He’s not trying to tear you down, he simply sees what you could be doing better. What he really wants is for the two of you to improve together. Even if you think you’re just fine as you are, Mars in Virgo will be surprisingly ambitious. He’ll want to keep moving forward, whether this involves ways to eat healthy, or enhanced approaches to time management/emotional awareness/financial mastery. If you’re the placid type who’s content to marinate in things the way they are, this will be a major sticking point between you. Remember that Mars in Virgo chose you, and it was not a casual decision. He saw someone who could meet his standards and grow with him.

But let’s say you’re not interested in growing. Or, you take advantage of Mars in Virgo’s services (she’ll continue to work her ass off for you) without doing anything in return. She dislikes confrontations (they’re messy) so she may not come right out and say there’s trouble. She’ll stick it out for awhile, because giving up is undisciplined. But if she stops making suggestions about what you could fix, or she starts excluding you from her latest self-improvement scheme, you’ll know there’s trouble. If she’s a particularly manipulative Virgo, she’ll set some impossibly high water mark for you to reach. Suddenly, it will become crucial that you meditate for an hour every day while embracing a vegan lifestyle (when you’ve always eaten meat). Or, she’ll say that it’s her and not you, using her self-critical schtick as a weapon. The end will come quietly. In typical, understated Virgo fashion, she’ll just walk out the door.

Related: The Servant Who Wants More: Understanding Your Virgo Partner

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