Unrefined Ego: The Unaspected Sun in Relationships
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There’s no doubt that the Sun is important in relationships. But it’s such a major player (to the point of being a cliché) that it’s sometimes disregarded in favor of the Moon, Venus, Mars, Saturn, etc. But don’t be put off by its association with Sun sign astrology. The Sun represents your purpose, ego and conscious will. It will always be a primary player in relationships. The aspects that your Sun makes to your other planets describe how you integrate its energy. Sun conjunct Venus suggests an abundance of charm with the primary desire to love and be loved. Sun trine Saturn suggests a steady flow of sober responsibility and commitment. But what if your Sun is unaspected?
Who Are You?
Technically, an unaspected planet makes no major aspects to any other planets. “Major aspects” are defined as conjunctions, squares, oppositions, trines and sextiles. Aspects to Chiron, the asteroids and the Nodes are not counted. In her book Aspects and Personality, Karen Hamaker-Zondag also discounts aspects to the angles (AC, DC, IC, MC). She states that although the unaspected planet will find an outlet through the angles, this won’t integrate its energy into your psyche. And this is what aspects do: they create pathways between the energy of a planet and the rest of your psyche. When your ego (Sun) is disconnected, there is an all-or-nothing effect. You have extreme doubts about your purpose in life. At the same time, this insecurity pushes you to focus on yourself, to the exclusion of others. One minute it’s all about you, and the next you’re not even sure who you are. The unaspected Sun is the unrefined ego of a child.
In a woman’s chart, an unaspected Sun suggests difficulties relating to men, beginning with the relationship to her father. Men in general (and male partners) may be a source of discomfort, mistrust or inconsistency. In a man’s chart, an unaspected Sun indicates that the template on “how to be a man” is missing. The father is the son’s first example of manhood, and an unaspected Sun suggests that this example is absent or damaged. In both cases, relationships can be trial-and-error. The unaspected Sun person swings from one extreme to the other in their choice of partners (weak or controlling) or in their approach to relationships (passive or authoritative). It’s incredibly difficult to be yourself with another person when you don’t know who you are.
Having said this, know that an unaspected Sun does not guarantee a lifetime of troubled relationships. You can view it as your vulnerable area that also has the potential to become your greatest strength. The upside of unrefined ego and conscious will is, if properly directed, an unstoppable sense of purpose. Once you figure out who you are, you become a force to be reckoned with.
Your Partner is Your Outlet
This is where synastry can make all the difference. If you have an unaspected Sun, chances are your most important relationships will feature a partner whose planet(s) aspect your Sun. You’re drawn to the energy of someone who promises an outlet for your unclear purpose. While these contacts are hugely significant, much depends on the planet aspecting your Sun.
For example, if your partner’s Venus (how they give and receive love) conjuncts your Sun, they find your essence very attractive. This is the classic “love you for who you are” contact. But since your Sun is unaspected, their love is extra potent for you. Here is someone who finally accepts you and loves all the qualities that you doubted you even had. And, the Venus person helps you express your purpose. The hallmark of an unaspected Sun is a unique talent (defined by its house and sign position) that has the potential to bring you tremendous recognition, and sometimes fame. To the Venus person, this talent is obvious, and they gently encourage it by boosting your ego. The brighter you shine, the more they’re drawn to your light. Would you have uncovered this talent without them? Maybe. Transits and progressions to an unaspected Sun can have the same effect. But it’s not a coincidence that you’re attracted to the Venus person.
But let’s say your partner’s Saturn (rules and limits) conjuncts your unaspected Sun. You feel bonded to the Saturn person, almost beyond reason. Perhaps your partner acts as your missing father figure, giving you the structure and focus that you’ve been missing. But at the same time, your partner’s authority is so strong that they inhibit you. And you kick against their parental rules as your ego flares up with childish displays of rebellion. A Sun/Saturn conjunction in synastry is about authority, but your unaspected Sun is vulnerable. So you may end up giving your partner far more authority than you would have if your Sun was integrated. Over time, if you’re both aware of what’s happening, this contact can push you into maturity. But it won’t be gentle.
In general, an unaspected Sun is raw ego and purpose. Although it’s most often experienced as unclear or absent, it will flare up sporadically. Either way, when your partner’s planets aspect your Sun, they have a profound effect on you. The usual impact of any synastric contact to the Sun is intensified. If your unaspected Sun is your childhood energy that never had a chance to develop, your partner can offer an accelerated learning curve.
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