Before we look at some examples, here’s a brief overview of what natal Chiron represents. Known as the “Wounded Healer,” this planetoid (small planet) shows where you feel the most weakness, insecurity or pain. It goes beyond Saturn fear, or Pluto survival, and describes where you feel you are lacking, awkward, or simply not as good as everyone else. Sometimes it can indicate a physical disability. That’s the wounded part. The healing part happens when you confront your sore spot. There’s a misconception that you can neatly do away with Chiron’s wounds; you can’t. It’s the wound that never, completely heals. But that’s Chiron’s power, because once you get a handle on why/how it hurts, you can take that energy and help other people. Think of it as the “Wounded Healer and Teacher.” With the empathy and depth you achieve from dealing with your Chiron wound, there’s the potential to guide others, and help them master that same area. Chiron in your chart is where you can show others how to excel, in ways you don’t excel (because your wound will always hobble you). Sounds thankless, but it’s not. People who truly own their Chiron are amongst the most compassionate, healing and magnetic individuals that you’ll ever meet. Magnetism is an important part of the Chiron package.
So that’s the Chiron basics. Now, imagine meeting someone whose planet(s) trigger your Chiron. Chiron contacts are not strictly sexual/romantic (they can often be found between the charts of close friends) but for the purposes of this article we’ll assume that a romantic attraction already exists.
Person A’s Chiron in 7th House Aries Conjunct Person B’s Moon
Abeba has the Wounded Healer in her house of committed relationships. Being a partner is a sore spot for her. How/why it’s a sore spot is described by the sign her Chiron is in: Aries, the sign of identity and will. This could manifest in a few ways, but she’s probably not great at maintaining her identity in a relationship. Maybe she always puts her partner first, or feels really awkward when she tries to do her own thing (like she doesn’t know how to balance her sense of self with her partner). Compromise in general is a mystery to her, so she errs on the side of sublimating herself to the relationship. She’s always felt that everyone else had the inside scoop on how to “be” a partner, but there was something wrong with her.
She meets Joseph, and his Aries Moon conjuncts her Chiron. There is instant magnetism between them, because Chiron/Moon conjunctions seem to awaken the sense (in both parties) that healing and comfort is available through the other person. While that doesn’t sound very sexy, it can be incredibly potent. Joseph feels that Abeba has something to teach him about relationships (remember Chiron’s teacher side — the vibe is there, even if the Chiron person is not anywhere close to being a teacher) and Abeba may feel that it’s safe to trust Joseph (his Moon brings the promise of nurturing). When she’s with him (initially), she no longer feels like an outsider in the world of romance. The Chiron person often opens the planet person up (without trying), so Joseph may feel more vulnerable with her than he has with other women. Keep in mind that all this is happening on a level that goes beyond intellect. They just feel the pull, and want more.
How the rest of this goes down depends on how Abeba and Joseph handle the intense needs they bring out in each other. As the relationship progresses, Joseph’s impulsive, aggressive way of expressing his feelings will trigger Abeba’s relationship wounds. She may start asserting herself in the face of his Aries Moon. Or, she may find that she’s not ready for him, and pulls away. Every time he expresses an emotion, it just reminds her of how inadequate she is in relationships. Joseph may handle his increased vulnerability (in the face of her Chiron) by putting up his Aries defences; he fights back, hurting her even more. Or, he may dive in with full-on enthusiasm, learning how to express himself with a balance of courage and empathy. It could be a bold, passionate new world for both of them. Or, it may just feel too raw.
Person A’s Chiron in 2nd House Gemini Opposite Person B’s Mars
Stacey’s Chiron, in her 2nd House of security, has always made her feel as if she doesn’t have enough of anything. Part of this is due to her personal logic (Gemini) that she doesn’t deserve to have emotional and financial security. But also she has difficulty communicating (Gemini) what she needs (2nd House). Somehow, her ideas come out wrong. This also applies to her sexual needs. Ismail’s Mars in Sagittarius falls in her 8th House (of intimacy) and opposes her Chiron. His expansive, enthusiastic (Sagittarius) way of expressing his energy and sexuality (Mars) is unnerving for her, but also irresistible. When he wants something (including her) he just goes for it. No worries, no inhibition. Stacey is envious of his ease, attracted to his energy, and insecure (every time they get together). He triggers so many “what ifs”; what if he thinks her desires are wrong/silly, what if he changes his mind about her, what if she changes her mind about him? She also feels like she’s under attack. He’s so pushy and just does what he wants (although he thinks he’s just being his normal, optimistic self).
On Ismail’s side, he’s attracted to Stacey because he feels like she just “knows something.” He senses the potential behind her fears, some mysterious key that could open things up for him (not just sexually, but in his life). There’s something to be explored here, and he charges after it. Unfortunately, the more he charges forward, the more Stacey feels scattered, nervous and unsure about what they’re doing together. She hesitates, and he gets angry. Eventually, he tires of constantly feeling like every move he makes is wrong. Being with Stacey is simply too much of a hassle, so he runs away.
While oppositions between one person’s Chiron and another person’s Mars can be quite difficult, there is always potential to make it work. However, Stacey will have to deal with her shifting ideas about — and hesitancy to articulate — what she deserves. She can learn to be more accepting of herself with Ismail, and more direct. She can teach Ismail about awareness towards other people’s ideas (maybe his bold approach isn’t always the right way). And, he can learn to communicate his desires, rather than simply charge forward in a blaze of enthusiasm.
The pain, healing and teaching that occur with Chiron/planet contacts go both ways (assuming both parties are ready to learn). But in order to get past the stage of “this hurts too much,” the Chiron person must deal with her or his pain. And the planet person must be prepared to make some changes as well. No matter what happens, the depth and magnetism of these connections is unmistakeable. Both partners will feel it on a profound level.