Venus Opposite Saturn in Synastry: Finding a Solution in the Axis

Saturn opposite Venus in Synastry

Loving Venus flutters around the impenetrable wall of Saturn's coldness.

Venus opposite Saturn is considered by some to be a dealbreaker in synastry. But even the harshest aspects have an upside, and so much depends on the natal charts of the two people involved. This is definitely a challenging aspect, but it does not have to mean the relationship is doomed.

What does Venus opposite Saturn mean, exactly? The way the Venus person relates and expresses their love triggers fear, disapproval and/or obligation in the Saturn person. The way the Saturn person expresses their boundaries triggers resentment, rejection and suppression in the Venus person. But underneath this is the potential for an incredibly strong bond. Any Saturn contact in synastry indicates commitment. The Saturn person will always take the relationship seriously, and the Venus person will feel that they can depend on them. The key is overcoming the polarizing effects of the opposition. How to do this? Oppositions involve two signs on the same axis, so they do have something in common. Both signs are striving towards the same goal, they just approach it differently. Let’s look at some examples.

Cancer-Capricorn Opposition

Kim has Venus in nurturing Cancer. She’s been seeing Matt for one year and shows her love by mothering him. She asks him if he’s OK at least once a day, and knows when something is bothering him. She’s always ready with hugs, encouragement, and home-cooked meals. Matt’s Saturn in Capricorn opposes her Venus. He is dependable, always there for Kim when she needs her taxes done. But when he gets depressed, Matt needs to withdraw so he can work things out by himself. He stops answering the phone, and won’t reach out until he’s ready. Kim feels rejected, and when they finally do get together, she pouts and sulks. Matt finds this all very childish and doesn’t understand why Kim can’t just go off and do her own thing when he’s not around. For her part, Kim wishes that Matt was more demonstrative with his affections.

What is the common ground here? Capricorn and Cancer are traditionalists. Matt takes his relationship with Kim very seriously. He is willing to give her the stability that she craves. His emotional withdrawals are not a rejection of her. If Kim could realize this, she wouldn’t dissolve into a puddle when he puts up his boundaries. And Matt needs to see that complete withdrawal can be distressing for the other person. If he let down his boundaries a little, he may find that Kim’s childish responses lessen.

Aries-Libra Opposition

Maggie has Saturn in Aries. She has a strong (Saturn) sense of self (Aries), and is fiercely independent. She meets Rick, who has Venus in Libra. He charms her, but is so focused on relationships that he has never been single for more than a few weeks. Maggie sees this as a weakness, and it triggers her fear of losing her independence. The attraction between them is strong enough that they start seeing each other anyway. Maggie makes sure that they don’t get together more then once every two weeks, because she has her own life to live. Rick becomes resentful because he wants to spend more time with her. He turns on the pressure in his passive-aggressive way, wondering aloud what it might be like to have a real girlfriend. This makes Maggie defensive and she criticizes Rick, calling him weak. Obviously, this does not go down well with him. They stop seeing each other.

Not a happy scenario, but here is how it might have gone instead. The meeting ground between Libra and Aries lies between self-focus and focus on the other. Maggie definitely knows how to take care of herself, but she could use some pointers on relating to another. Rick excels at partnership, but could use a few lessons in developing a life outside of a relationship. One of Rick’s talents is objectivity. Libra allows him to see both sides of an argument, so he would be able to appreciate Maggie’s point of view if he let go of his resentment. If Maggie allowed Rick past some of her boundaries, she might have experienced this relationship as fun and light-hearted rather than a threat. And her Saturn would have had a stabilizing effect on Rick’s Venus. Neither of these signs gets bogged down in emotion, so the drive to keep moving forward would have worked for both of them.

Venus opposite Saturn is all about boundaries. Saturn needs to realize that Venus is not a threat, and Venus needs to realize that it’s not personal (although it certainly feels like it is). With self-awareness, hard work and willingness to meet each other in the middle, this aspect can produce a steadfast commitment.

About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers 20 years of experience in astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying practical astrological analysis to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.
 

Comments

  1. I wonder if many people have had the experience of general difficulty relating with people whose Saturns fall in the sign opposite their Venuses. In my case, my natal Venus opposes my Saturn by sign (not degree), but I realize that most of the kids who went through school with me would have had their Saturns opposing my Venus as well as many of the kids in the grade after me. When I was a kid, other kids tended to see me as very formal and almost authoritative. Sounds like there might be a little Saturn involvement there!

  2. Excellent article, seems very accurate.

  3. Virgo Saturn opposes his Pisces Venus… how can I make this positive?

  4. @EcritureFemme:
    When you have that natal aspect it can become a generational issue. On the plus side you’re probably comfortable with that energy.

  5. @watergirl:
    Thanks!

  6. @Broccoli:
    Virgo and Pisces have perfection as a common goal. Virgo seeks physical perfection, Pisces seeks spiritual perfection (transcendence). And you both strive to work for others. Both have the drive to make things work for the other person.

  7. Very interesting. I have this with someone and everything works out just as you say. I am the Venus he is the Saturn. I express my feelings and he runs scared or tells me Im getting too deep. But it’s ok when he expressess his feelings; apparently I am not allowed to have any. Which isn’t esay for Venus in Leo.

    How would these work with my Venus in Leo and his Saturn in Aqua?

  8. @Pas de Deux;
    Recognize each others’ need to be individuals and in control. Leo likes to be #1, Aquarius likes to stand apart from the group and be detached. Note that BOTH of you need to make an effort to meet in the middle here. It won’t work if just one person (which is probably you) compromises.

  9. Thanks, Nadia. Yes, we both feel the need to be in control. And Yes, I have compromised way too much.
    My Virgo moon doesn’t help there and neither does his Cap moon.

  10. You’re welcome. 🙂

  11. A great article. My husbands’ Venus in Cancer is opposite my Saturn in Capricorn, and everything you say really rings true. Gives me a few “helpful hints” too!

    thanks!

  12. I was looking forward to this topic.. what would you say about his venus in gemini cusp (0 deg) opposing my saturn in scorpio (28 deg)? Which axis should I refer to?
    Thanks in advance!

  13. @Fiery Ice;
    This is what’s known as an out of sign opposition….the number of degrees make it an opposition but technically it is not. I wouldn’t apply the same rules to this situation.
    Out of signs aspects are tricky because they don’t fall neatly into one category but you can’t quite discount them either because I’m sure your Saturn still has an impact on his Venus. You can’t really use one axis or the other because you would have to shift one of the planets into the neighboring sign. I’m not a believer in a planet at 0 degrees Gemini being influenced by Taurus because it’s so close. A planet is either in one sign or not and there is no overlapping influence from the neighboring sign. Other astrologers may disagree.
    If you are looking for solutions to the “opposition” between Venus and Saturn then look at other planets in your chart which make aspects to his Venus and planets in his chart which make aspects to your Saturn.You can use these as outlets for the tension. Also….look at what house in your chart Saturn rules and does he have any planets falling into this house. Do the same for his chart (what house does Venus rule, etc)?
    This is a long winded answer but I hope it helps!

  14. @Nadi
    Thanks for your patient explanation. It’s indeed tricky. My Sun and Mercury squares his venus and my jupiter trine his venus. And his mars trine, sun sesiquadrate(i m not sure of the spelling but i mean 135 deg) and vertex conjoins my saturn.
    His venus rules his 10th house and falls in his 10th while my saturn rules 12th house and falls in my 10th. So the opposing planet each falls on 4th-10th axis for both of us as we have opposing ac-dc axis with 4 deg orb. Is it right to think 4th-10th axis is emphasized here?

  15. @Fiery Ice;
    So your Jupiter and his Mars can act as outlets for the tension. Interesting that his Vertex conjoins your Saturn….the Vertex represents turning points and fated events, usually triggered by another person. So your Saturn (structure) will definitely be teaching him something.
    4th-10th axis, yes. So look at how you impact each other’s home life (4th house) and career/public image/ambitions (10th house).

  16. @Beth;
    Thank you! Glad it was helpful…

  17. Hi Nadia,

    Can you provide any information on how a Gem Saturn, Sag Venus opposition might play out?

  18. True enough that opposites indeed attract. What an amazing read. Keep it up!

  19. Hmmm…I am curious.
    What happens with the axis involves a Venus In Capricorn and a Saturn in Cancer? It would seem that both would be guarded. But, does this mean that the Saturn deeply needs nurturing?

  20. imaginae says:

    So what happens when the male’s venus in Aries is opposite the female’s Saturn in Libra? I saw you had the opposite as an example in the article. Would it be the same dynamic? My lover and I have extremely well aspected synastry, the best kind that says we are pretty much ideal partners who have karmic ties and are meant to be together, and it feels like this much of the time, but then we have that nasty Saturn/Venus opposition which is pretty much one of the worst aspects to have. It’s trouble for sure and despite how absolutely amazing it is most of the time, sometimes I feel like I can’t handle it. What else is interesting, and I don’t know if this makes much of a difference, but we both have Venus in Aries.
    opposition which is pretty much

  21. Hello Nadia, thank you for this illuminating article. I was looking at my father’s chart today, as he is going through a little bout of illness and discovered what I hadn’t noticed before that he has a totally unaspected Saturn at 9,44 Aries in 8th house opposing my likewise totally unaspected 8,03 Venus in 1st house Libra conjunct my Libra ascendant.

    I have always wondered why he was never able to express the love that I know he feels for me and in my life’s various challenges, I have always felt very much left alone, but that must be the clue. Whereas I might very well have been too wild in my tryings to reach out to him in my overly affectionate way..

    He almost died this winter, but survived, thankfully, and that really marked a big change, I suppose the Pluto/Uranus square touching it all at the moment is very helpful in changing old ways, we seem to be able to find a new way of reaching each other, I’m a bit more formal as it suits him and he is very happy that I openly express my pleasure that he is still around but stop being so needy in wanting an affection that he finds hard to express…

  22. Hello! I’ve been working with amateur astrology several years. I think you should always be interpreted in the whole map, not one aspect. And composite card. There are people happy with all aspects (recognized as difficult) because it can have two difficult aspects, but 10 very good!

  23. I have my Saturn conjuncting a man’s moon; my saturn opposing exact degree his venus and mars conjunction, and my saturn opposing his mercury. As an astrologer looking at this after we met and had amazing lusty earthy sex and based on that expecting all kinds of yummy pluto mars/venus aspects, I was shocked to see this as the primary aspects. I feel deeply in love with this man and he has stated a strong profound connection with me. Now I feel as though I know nothing of astrology because this doesn’t fit into anything I have studied or read about saturn interaspects.

    Our moon / ascendant trines are double whammy
    moon oppose moon
    moon trine jupiter
    venus square exact jupiter
    Sun conjunct pluto exact.
    my mercury, uranus, pluto square his ascendant

    but that is really it for aspects so I cannot understand the intense feelings and sexual attraction. From what I see, it is Saturn producing this effect which is contrary to the literature.

    Thoughts anyone?

  24. Pamela Woodard says:

    I understand your confusion, but I think I have an explanation. In Liz Green’s book, Saturn: A New Look At an Old Devil, she explains that Saturn contacting personal planets (Sun, moon, Venus, and Mars especially) can frequently manifest as intense desire and prolonged pursuit that cools off after the desired one has been captured and secured. I have two personal stories to add to this. Back in 1982-83, I was being pursued by a married man whose Saturn was opposite my Sun?Venus conjunction. He was very attentive and very reliable. If I had occaison to call him at work, he would return my call within an hour or two even if it was just to explain that he couldn’t really talk and would contact me after he left work for the day. Back then we had neither cell phones nor call waiting. When I finally allowed myself to be caught his entire demeanor changed. He might not return a call for a few days or even a week. I’m an Aries and cannot bear the thought of being ignored, so I would write him an “I quit you” letter. That would bring him running (for a little while). I enetually got tired of that and called it quits.

    Another relationship in 1998-2000 was with a man who was younger than me, and whose Saturn was conjunct my Sun/Venus conjunction. Again, hot pursuit and very hot sex. But once we moved in together, he became standdoffish and very critical. Even nasty. That turned me off of the sex, but when it did happen it was very passionate.

    Everything I’ve read states that strong Saturn contacts are necessary for commitment and longevity. The limitation is not necessarily fun, but perhaps passion is the icing on the cake.

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