Moon-Mars Aspects in Synastry: Sex and Psyche
November 20, 2009 by Dawn Bodrogi
When folks start learning about astrology and synastry, they run to Venus/Mars aspects to find out whether they’re compatible with their partners. Venus/Mars is about sexual give and take: my style of loving is in tune with your desire. But, as everyone knows, sex is a lot more complicated than that.
We don’t always express our love via Venus. Venus can be a diva with a come-hither look; she draws what she wants (and sometimes doesn’t want) via the principle of attraction. Venus/Mars contacts can be surprisingly shallow. Unless they’re tied up to Pluto or under the spell of Neptune or Uranus, they can also be surprisingly tame. They’re about compatibility, pure and simple. There are more passionate pair-ups.
Moon/Mars, for one. For some reason, this aspect has had a low profile in synastry. But when I hear of a synastry that is all about heat, this is one of the first aspects I look for. It has a bad reputation from the old “cookbook” schools of astrology. They used to say, “Mars equals violence/aggression, and the Moon equals emotions/comfort, therefore Mars will be mean to the Moon.” Well, yes and no, and more likely no. Not where sex is concerned.
Moon/Mars is where sex meets the psyche. A lot of the Moon/Mars interpretations from the old texts come from a lack of understanding of what the Moon actually represents. The Moon is everything we are and everything we have been, going back to the beginning, or over lifetimes, if your beliefs go that way. The lunar package also includes our emotions, our instinctive reactions, and the way our mind interacts with our body. The Moon also represents the physical body itself. The Greeks defined it as Soul. Between partners, Mars is turned on by the deepest fathoms of the Self.
Again, we have a pairing of a feminine planet (the Moon) with a masculine one. But the Moon is much more primal and instinctive than Venus. The Moon reveals our basic needs for fulfillment. It tells us what makes us satisfied and happy. When the Moon is happy, we feel complete.
In synastry, these needs of the Moon – whatever they may be (physical, psychological, spiritual) – are sensed by a hungry Mars, and ignite and inflame his passions. Mars senses the Moon intensely, and instinctively strives to fulfill her needs. Mars needs a purpose to really get it going, and here the Moon becomes that purpose. At the same time, the Moon – grateful for the acknowledgement of its needs – longs to nurture and satisfy Mars, and take him into a safe place deep within. She senses and is turned on by his raw desire to connect with her.
Moon/Mars contacts can be highly erotic, but it isn’t an eroticism based on surface attraction. With Moon/Mars, Mars is attracted by the very essence of the Moon, the whole complicated package – conscious and unconscious. Many times, the attraction between Moon and Mars is mysterious; they connect on such a primal level that it’s hard to bring the reasons for the attraction to the surface. A Moon/Mars interaction tends to be silent and deep.
Trouble can come in many ways, but most often it’s when Mars is either too eager, or too cutting to the Moon’s delicate psyche. Mars may burst in and blunder into tender areas the Moon is not ready to expose, or the Moon may be too guarded, or too shy. Mars may go overboard in trying to penetrate to the Moon’s darkest secrets, stumbling into old hurts and reopening wounds. This causes the Moon to back away or shut down, and a rejected Mars may either pursue or give up the chase. Mars has an opportunity to heal the blockages that are preventing the Moon from shining its light to the fullest, but whether it knows this or not will depend on the qualities of Mars in the chart. In turn, the Moon can validate Mars in its ambitions and pursuits, providing support and emotional sustenance.
The Moon is also about our feelings of security, and Mars may be a lot of things, but he’s not a guy to instill feelings of safety. Mars can disturb and threaten the Moon’s habits and rituals, the things that it needs to get through the day. The Moon may decide that she likes the stimulation of being challenged, or she may decide that she’s had enough. It’s up to the Moon to teach Mars how to tread carefully.
Moon/Mars is never an easy aspect. It causes partners to be constantly aware of the energy exchange between them, and the effect that it has on both. Even at its most soothing and well-aspected, the sexual stimulation is always accompanied by the rolling waves of a deeper awareness. It takes some maturity to handle this aspect well, because we need to learn how to read one another’s signals and retreat when comfort zones are in danger of being violated. For those who like an easy ride in relationships, and prefer not to explore the inner layers of our being, this aspect may be too hot to handle.
Next: Moon-Mars in Synastry: Gender Differences and Aspects
About the Author
Dawn Bodrogi has studied astrology since the age of twelve, and has been a practicing astrologer for over twenty years with a special emphasis on synastry. Her studies in Jungian psychology, alchemy, and Buddhist philosophy inform her work. Her upcoming book, The Inner Wheel, takes a new look at interpreting secondary progressions. You can see more of Dawn’s work at her blog, The Inner Wheel: Living with Astrology.
Related: A man’s Mars conjunct a woman’s Moon
Photo Credit: Jason A. Samfield via Creative Commons license
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Lovely read: very insightful!
My recent post Humor: A Mean Look at the Sun Signs
My husband and I are both scorpio sun and ascendant. My Mars is 25 Tau 15' 29" r and my husband's moon is 27 Tau 55' 7", both in the 7th house. After 30 years and 6 kids, we're still together and going strong. I found this mars/moon connection in our charts long ago and believed it to be a key element in our relationship. Your remarks in this article are spot on.
Thanks, Marisa. The earth element is great for longevity with this conjunction, as you've said. Particularly with the Moon enhanced in Taurus.
I had a double whammy with someone: his cancer mars trined my scorpio moon and my scorpio mars trined his cancer moon. OMG the most passionate relationship I ever had.
Loved this article!! Thanks!!
I am dating someone new, it is very intense he just reads me instinctively.
My sun, moon, mer, is conjunct his mars in Pisces
and his moon in sag is conjunct my mars…
His sun is aries…also conjunct my venus- conjunct his venus.
Is this just more of the same?
Where the trine is an easier element and treads a bit more softly (though passionately), conjunctions can be very erratic and unpredictable. The emotional element can get inflated, with things getting very touchy (not in a good way) at times, particularly during transits that go over the conjunctions. Mutable signs, in particular, tend to get nervous when stressed. You’ll have to find ways of dealing with all that emotional steam. Your Mercury should be helpful here to keep the verbal lines of communication open.
Venus/Sun doesn’t work the same way as Moon/Mars. A different thing entirely. But that needs an article all of its own.
I’m so happy to have read this post! I just started seeing a guy who has a Venus-Mars conjunction in Pisces, and my Moon in Pisces is smack-dab in the middle of it. I wonder how having Venus involved effects this Moon/Mars conjunction; would it soften any harshness or upsets?
In theory, yes. His Venus on your Moon would make him more appreciative of who you are. But in the real world, a lot depends on how the conjunction is aspected by other planets. As I said, conjunctions are irrational. If either of you has an outer planet, or Saturn, or even Jupiter making a strong aspect to the conjunction, it will colour the dynamic between you. Pisces has a tendency to not discriminate. You’ll need some Virgo awareness to keep things balanced between you.
Awesome article, Dawn. I recently discovered your blog, and I’m very excited about reading everything! Jeffrey wrote an article about Moon-Mars here. His article is very specific to a man’s Mars and a woman’s Venus. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Since the Moon is the “Feminine” and Mars is the “Masculine,” I feel like if a couple has this aspect in synastry, it’s one of many indicators of a good — or perhaps, just traditional — male-female principals. Do you have any thoughts on this aspect and its relation to archetypal female-male roles?
Thanks for your thoughts!
- Christine
Leonid meteor showers and my mood = deep dreams of winter.
Christine,
From what I’ve seen with my work with couples, very few with this aspect split down traditional roles–but that could be because the people who consult astrologers tend not to be traditional. It could indicate a woman who plays the role of nurturer and a man who plays aggressor; but I think these days we’re all, even the most conservative of us, inclined to be more in touch with both our Mars and our Moon energies. I think society has moved on, except in the most conservative of cultures. The Moon is very different from Venus; it relates to our body, our very consciousness, it’s where we process our life experience. Venus is about taste–it has more to say about what a man likes, rather than who he is. We can’t escape the Moon, which is one of the reasons why this combination can be so sexual. Whatever touches the Moon, touches our deeper layers.
I’ve been searching for a reason for a mysterious mutual attraction and this could be it. His mars is conjunct my moon in Aquarius and my venus is conjunct his moon in Aquarius. I blush to the point of humiliation when he is near…for no apparent reason. I didn’t even think he was good looking at first. The pull is strong/primal and feels serious…not fun at all. It feels like we are fated to be together in some way…but the tension is almost unbearable to work through even to carry on a conversation unless it is at a distance (via-email or phone). Still..we can’t leave each other alone.
It´s very interesting and well explained for us who don´t have a high level of knowledge about Astrology.
Thank you.
Dawn, an excellent article. I read several of your blog entries (on your own blog) after reading this article and I’m very impressed. Hope your writings become a regular feature on this blog and I look forward to your book
I don’t understand how it works
suzanna, you seem to have hit the nail on the head with those aspects.
I have Cap moon, he has Virgo Mars, Trine
I have Scorpio mars, he has Sagittarius moon , Square..
He has Scorpio Sun.
The attraction is intense, it’s like being pulled in by a magnet.
Hello there, any astrologers post here? I’ve been driving myself into madness trying to understand something and it just occurred to me, perhaps astrology could help explain the situation.
Should anyone care to tackle this please let me know and I would give birthdate information.
I recently moved from an apartment that I lived at for 11 years. I was basically forced out due to how hostile the environment had become.
I was involved with a fellow who lived across the street. When his best friend found out that we were involved he decided to move into my building and jokingly said that he could now keep up with the drama between me and A.
We were involved but it I was never his girl friend. Anyhow to make a very long story short. I came to realize that J was in the closet with very obsessive, possessive and creepy, disturbing feelings for my guy, his best friend, A.
J is one of the creepiest, sneakiest, negative, domineering and rigid person I’ve ever known. I can not understand why A is even his friend. I don’t at all understand why A is so loyal to this guy.
I was helpless to do anything to prevent J from influencing A to share his anger and negativity toward me. In time I ended up being an enemy to a man who was the love of my life. To explain all the things this sick person did would take a very long time. I have reason to believe that A is naive about the feelings of his so-called friend. He is in total denial that J is in the closet. Anyhow, if anyone might be interested to see the charts involved perhaps having an understanding though astrology could help in my healing. I am so mangled inside that it seems impossible to ever heal. Basically a drama triangle was forced on to me that I could not escape from, that A was oblivious of and I ended up having to leave because the hate being directed at me was unbearable. A believed every story J made up, not knowing the motives. He never checked with me, he was loyal to this creep. Both are from Europe. Anyhow, let me k now if anyone is interested.
Thank you!
what about two aspects together ?
my moon (cancer) square his mars (libra)
his moon (capricorn) trine my mars (virgo)
I don’t see what the big deal is between cancer and libra, why are they square ?
also, what does a ceapricorn moon need in order to feel secure emotionally ?
(other than money, which I cannot provide for him: he’ll have to earn his own)
for a capricorn moon to feel secure, you have to show him that you love him, and that it is safe to open up. I have Cap moon, I don’t feel secure unless I feel safe with the person and I know exactly how they feel.
ay ayay!
this sounds like the reason ive been chasing this guy around for the past few yrs. Hes a aries moon. I’m a mars libra. not sure about the degrees
its not easy to explain.
I’m also a sag moon and hes a taurus mars (quincunx?- bad news?)
I’m glad i met him i just don’t know what to do about it. it sucks.
Now after reading this article I’m understanding why the guy I’ve been seeing, the connection is sometimes intense and other times so laid back.
I’ve got a Scorpio Moon and he has a Mars in Taurus.
Then he has a Gemini Moon and I’ve got a Mars in Gemini.
Then you throw in my Aries sun and his Pisces sun and I’m wondering a lot more now, especially with all the other aspects, but this moon-mars bit really opens my eyes to how strong the attractive probably is between us… I’m glad I found this blog posting!
Great article! When you talk about moon mars contacts does that apply to hard aspects as well? My Libra Moon is square my friends cancer mars.