If you’re involved with a Uranus person, their detachment and independence can make you question if they even want to be in a relationship. Many Uranus people are able to successfully integrate their desire for space with their proximity to another human being. They can be the most loyal partners. Their detachment is a healthy part of their individuality, not an expression of their fear of commitment. But if they don’t have an appropriate outlet for the volatile energy in their lives, getting close can feel like trying to embrace an electrical current. Read on for strategies on how to deal with a difficult Uranus person.
1. Give Him His Space
This one is obvious, but many people forget it when they struggle to make a connection with their Uranus partner. The initial connection (the first month or so of the relationship) is incredibly intense. Your Uranus partner is fascinated with you. Everything is off-the-charts hot. But one day, you wake up and he’s not there. He may be there physically, but you can’t shake the feeling that mentally and emotionally he’s somewhere else. You try to reconnect, and he pulls away. You panic, and try harder. He pulls further away, and perhaps he abruptly ends things. What happened?
The difficult Uranus person may have a series of sudden attractions followed by sudden breakups. The initial surge of fascination he feels can switch off, as his baseline way of relating (from a distance) reasserts itself. If you want to be in a relationship with him, that’s the first thing you’ll have to accept: his comfort zone lies a few steps back from everyone else. He’ll perceive your efforts to re-establish intimacy as a threat.
What can you do? Absolutely nothing. If you sense that he’s starting to pull away, just let him. He may or may not come back, but scrambling to reestablish those bonds is guaranteed to keep him away. If he does come back (this can happen — Uranus is unpredictable) it will be because he senses you’re not going to smother him. Then be prepared for a periodic on/off in the flow of his affections. And while you’re at it, if you have any jealousy issues, you’ll have to deal with them. Not only will he be intolerant of your insecurities, he won’t understand them. If not hearing from him for a couple of days puts your suspicions into overdrive, or you can’t stand the fact that he’s friends with his ex, you’re going to run into difficulties. Demanding that he check in with you or end the friendship will have the opposite effect. He’s not necessarily cheating on you, but he is doing what he wants, and that’s his non-negotiable commitment to himself. Know that even if he loves you, part of him will not be comfortable with deep bonding sessions or hugs that go on for hours. When you get upset and he coolly watches you as you break down in tears, getting more upset won’t trigger his empathy.
Maybe the above approach goes against every fiber of your being. You deserve someone who’s able to feel and you’ll be damned if you’re going to turn yourself inside out to accommodate him. That’s fair. Just know that he’s not the guy for you. But if you do attempt to make it work with him, this doesn’t mean you’re sitting around waiting for him to reconnect. You’re busy living your life, of course. Finally, it’s possible that he simply cannot sustain a relationship. Any type of emotional connection freaks him out, and no matter how much space you give him, he’ll always demand more. If this is the case, you may need to walk away.