Neptune contacts between two people can create some of the most wonderful and heart-breaking connections. If you’ve ever experienced this, you know I’m not exaggerating. As the planet of transcendence and dreams, Neptune can trigger blissful romanticism. It’s all amazing, until reality hits. Then, the pain from crashing down to earth can feel worse than the most brutal Pluto transit. This is the side of Neptune that most astrologers will warn you about. But is Neptune all bad? Surely it’s possible for this planet to manifest its positive side in love.
Let’s start with the conventional wisdom about Neptune. It can and will lead you astray in many relationships. If you’re the Neptune person (your Neptune aspects a personal planet in your partner’s chart) you’re most likely to be the one who’s led astray. Neptune is where you’re vulnerable to fantasy and where your boundaries are weakest. Along comes Miss Scrumptious, and her Venus in Scorpio conjuncts your Neptune. The intense way she relates and expresses herself as a woman hooks into your fantasies. She becomes the embodiment of your romantic ideal, the Perfect Scorpio. Your Neptune blurs her Scorpio edges, giving her the appearance of a dark and precious jewel. How this plays out depends on the other connections between you. The two of you could enter into a relationship where you think she can do no wrong (at first). She may take advantage of your non-existent boundaries, sucking you dry. Or, she may be the innocent recipient of your feverish projections. Isn’t it amazing how powerful she is! No one has ever been more powerful. Her all-enveloping love heals you. And so on.
But Neptune’s illusions can only be sustained for so long, and eventually you’ll discover that she’s been using you. Or, if she’s a decent person, you may simply end up disappointed when you realize that she doesn’t actually have magical powers. As a matter of fact, her intensity can be a bit much at times. As harsh as this sounds, the crush of disappointment that you experience is mostly due to your expectations. Or, more accurately, your Neptune. I’m not blaming the victim. Obviously, if she’s a user, she carries part of the responsibility as well. But your Neptune set up the smoke screen for her to hide behind. Consider it a chink in your defenses that will require careful patrolling in future relationships.
Another thing that Neptune is notorious for is its ability to reveal potential. While this may sound like a good thing, potential can often be poisonous in an unhealthy relationship. As the Neptune person, you can “see” what might be, regarding the planet person. You see the potential of the alcoholic to sober up. You see the potential of the married guy to leave his wife and commit to you. You see the potential of the man (who has no romantic interest in you) to wake up and realize that you’re his soul mate. Some of this potential may develop, because Neptune allows you to consider all possibilities. But often, this glimpse into the future is a mirage.
Related: Synastry Studies: Navigating Neptune