I Hate That Sign! Why Some Signs Push Your Buttons

Is there a particular sign that rubs you the wrong way? You may be irritated by, or even dislike, people with their Sun or stellium of planets in that sign. You usually interact with them in one of two ways: you avoid contact, or you have ugly relationships with them every single time. Patterns are important in astrology, and when multiple people of the same sign trigger the same reaction, there’s a reason.

The Fated/Hated Partners

You know a thing or two about love. You’re not an expert, but you consider yourself a worthy partner. So why is it when you hook up with that one sign, it always ends unpleasantly? This doesn’t happen with other signs, just the dreaded ___. Attraction to a certain sign, with repeatedly unhappy consequences, can involve the activation of your 8th, 12th or 4th Houses. When someone’s planets fall in these houses, they are touching you on the deepest levels. There’s magnetism, but there is also the potential for you to be wounded.

Let’s say you have natal Mars in Gemini (in your 8th House of intimacy) and it squares your natal Uranus. Your partner’s Sun conjuncts your Mars, and sets off your Mars/Uranus square. The electrically-charged sex is loaded with excitement, but ends up zapping you in a very vulnerable place. The excitement turns to pain, in an intense relationship that verges on abusive. The relationship ends, but each time you get involved with a Gemini, it’s the same deal: unbelievable chemistry, unbelievable pain. It gets to the point where you can feel when someone’s a Gemini. The tip-off is that mix of attraction and repulsion that’s triggered in the pit of your stomach, even if their Gemini planets don’t conjunct your Mars. As long as their planets activate your 8th House, it can be enough to set you off.

Or imagine you have no planets in Cancer, but you meet someone with a couple of Cancer planets that fall in your 12th House (the subconscious). You feel like you’ve met your soulmate. The connection is almost psychic, and you’re blown away by how well they know you. But as the relationship progresses, everything they say or do gets under your skin. Their intentions are good, but you have an airy chart, and you’re not comfortable with unrelenting intimacy. The feeling that they are constantly hugging your soul is intrusive, so you end the relationship. Each time these Cancer soulmates cross your path, there’s a similar pattern: profound recognition, the ecstasy of being known, growing suffocation, and the ending.

Maybe your 4th House cusp (home, family and childhood) is in Leo, and you meet someone with a Leo Moon. You move in together, because it feels natural to share a home with them. But your childhood was brutal, and their emotional narcissism reminds you of your mother. Or, maybe you have some unresolved childhood issues, and even though your partner is perfectly nice, living with their need for drama dredges up all the stuff you’d rather forget. You don’t want to take a trip down memory lane, so Leo has to go. If you’re continually attracted to Leo people, it may be a sign that you need to deal with those past issues. Or, maybe not. Sometimes it’s best to leave the past in the past, especially if you feel a gut-level aversion at the idea of living with a Leo.

Even though it’s not an intimate area, sometimes 1st House (identity) overlays can trigger a mix of attraction and unworkable tension. You have Virgo Rising, and some planets in Gemini. You’re attracted to Virgos, especially if their planet(s) conjunct your Ascendant (they make it easier for you to be you, because they seem to accept who you are). But their planets square your Gemini planets, and things always become unbearable when they start to micromanage your life. It’s as if they’re trying to take control of who you are, with their fussy, intrusive ways. Synastry contacts to your 1st House can devolve into competition (especially when squares to your other planets are involved) and the relationship grinds down to a deadlock. Invariably, you find that all Virgos are like nails on a chalkboard, even if you’re still attracted to them.

The Undiscovered Country That Stays That Way

There are some signs that you want nothing to do with. You know this without getting close to them. If you’re asked what it is about Libras that bug you, you list off their stereotypical qualities (indecisive, superficial). But in reality, it’s about you, not them. If Taurus’ stubbornness always triggers your violent impatience, or Scorpio’s magnetism always creeps you out, take a look at your chart.

One reason could be your natal stellium of planets. The more planets you have grouped in one sign, the greater the impact from other planets that aspect them. Planets in signs that that square or oppose your stellium will create tension, and that tension can be magnified to the point where you want nothing to do with the other signs. If your Sun, Moon, Mercury and Pluto are in Virgo, Sagittarius and Gemini will square your sign, and Pisces will oppose it. Sag’s lack of attention to detail, Gemini’s flakiness, and Pisces’ spaciness may be too much for you to handle. You like having things done in your Virgo way, and it really is a big deal when others subvert that. Or, maybe you have four planets in Aries. You have to take charge, and you have to do it now. You don’t have patience for Cancer’s moody sensitivity, Libra’s obsession with social niceties, or Capricorn’s control-freak tendencies. That’s not to say that you’ll automatically dislike the other signs that square or oppose your stellium, but it’s a possible cause for knee-jerk reactions.

Another possible trigger is your natal Chiron. While Chiron contacts in synastry can create magnetism and open up possibilities for healing, sometimes your Chiron wounds aren’t ready to be touched. Or, a relationship is not the appropriate vehicle to deal with them. This may occur if Chiron is the only thing you have in a sign (no other planets, points, angles, Nodes, etc). For example, you have nothing in Aquarius, except for Chiron. Your natal Uranus (ruler of Aquarius) is buried in your 12th House, and it doesn’t make any strong aspects in your chart. That Aquarian energy of liberation and rule-breaking is going to be a tough subject for you to handle. Chiron makes this a sensitive area for you, because you’re afraid of standing out or being an outsider. Anyone with pronounced Aquarian energy (even if their planets don’t conjunct your Chiron) is going to represent what you fear and where you feel inadequate. Their detachment is threatening (although you secretly envy it), and the way they saunter off on their own path is pretentious. Who do they think they are? The more strongly you react, the more work you have to do with your Chiron.

But, this doesn’t mean that you need to rush out and cozy up to Aquarians (or any other sign that drives you crazy). If you’re not comfortable with a sign, you’re not comfortable. That feeling of aversion/anger/annoyance is a signal that there’s an issue in your chart that needs attention. But sometimes, it’s better if you handle that issue on your own, and not by venturing into undiscovered country.