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Venus and the Moon are the two primary significators of female energy in the natal chart. In a straight man’s chart, they describe two sides of his romantic partnerships with women. His Venus represents the type of woman he’s attracted to, and his Moon represents the type of woman he is comfortable with. To put it another way, Venus describes the woman he wants, and his Moon describes the woman he needs. These factors will be modified by the rest of his chart (especially his 7th House). When one or both of these planets form a hard aspect (conjunction, square or opposition) to his Saturn, it can significantly impact his relationships (in very different ways).
Venus/Saturn
Hard Venus/Saturn aspects suggest extreme caution in love, usually born from early heartbreak. Everyone has been hurt in love, but the Venus/Saturn man isn’t able to shake it off. Somewhere along the line, he learned that expressing interest in the opposite sex left him open to rejection, which cut him to the bone. After the initial pain, he decided “never again.” Or, warmth and affection may have been absent from his early family interactions, with parents who were distant or disapproving. Dutiful displays replaced genuine, spontaneous displays of love.
Fast forward to the present day, and we have a man who is quite guarded, even formal, about expressing himself. This can run the gamut from getting involved in a safe relationship, where he feels nothing more than affection, to not getting involved at all. He may even actively dislike women, although this dislike masks his fear of being hurt.
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However, not all Venus/Saturn men go to these extremes. As always, much depends on the rest of the chart and the choices he makes. The Venus/Saturn man wants love just as much as the next man. Actually, he wants it more, because Saturn’s denial heightens the intensity of what he (thinks) he can’t have. Let’s say Mr. Venus/Saturn meets you, and you’re the special lady that finds the chink in his armor. The process of letting down his guard will be long and slow; you can’t rush this guy. He’ll only express interest once he’s 200% certain that his feelings will be reciprocated, and that you’re safe (meaning, not likely to hurt him). Since nothing is guaranteed (especially in love) this vetting process can take a long, long time. And once he is in love and involved (yes, it is possible for the Venus/Saturn man to fall in love again) his expressions of love will be reserved. But the flip side of Saturn caution is absolute commitment. Even if he’s not heaping praise or gifts on you, know that the fact he’s committed to you speaks volumes. His restrained, slightly awkward romantic expressions are equal to ten flamboyant promises from other men.
Since Venus describes the qualities of the woman he’s attracted to (again, keeping in mind the modifying characteristics of the 7th House, and the signs/houses that Venus and Saturn are in) he’ll be drawn to strong, possibly domineering women. Saturn represents authority, so he’ll be attracted to a woman who exudes authority and focus, especially if he has a Venus/Saturn opposition. She’ll have to be assertive, but not pushy, and have a strong sense of self, without being obvious (Saturn’s restraining influence dials down the flash). Mind you, this will bring him into direct conflict with what he fears the most: a woman with the strength to hurt him. This can set up all sorts of interesting conflicts in his relationship. He’s attracted (Venus) to what he fears (Saturn).
Moon/Saturn
As cliched as it sounds, the Moon/Saturn man has significant mother issues (the condition of the natal Moon represents a person’s experience of their mother). This is a man’s first female relationship, the template for all future relationships. Hard aspects between his Moon and Saturn indicate a loyalty to his mother, underscored by the burden of that loyalty. She may have been unwilling or unable to provide complete nurturing, so he learned that it wasn’t acceptable to need the comfort and security that every child is entitled to. At the same time, she may have depended on him for more than a child is meant to provide. It’s possible that he is still responsible for her in some way.
Since Mr. Moon/Saturn grew up learning that the open expression of feelings was not acceptable, he’ll be accustomed to this atmosphere in his adult life. He’ll be shy about expressing his feelings, although this shyness will be masked by reserve. He’ll probably be drawn to relationships where he’s expected to take on the mantle of responsibility once again.
However, the other side of Moon/Saturn is the needy child who never had a chance to mature. Therefore, as controlled as he may initially seem, on the inside, the Moon/Saturn man is still craving his mother’s love and acceptance to an extreme degree. In her book Saturn: A New Look at an Old Devil, Liz Greene states that this latent immaturity will draw women with an “…instinctual and dominant nature…” into his life. He has not learned how to deal with his feelings (his inner woman), therefore, he ends up with women that he does not know how to deal with. Perhaps she manifests as the smothering Mother, or the devouring Child. Either way, he’s drawn to what he “needs,” which is a partner who reflects his inner turmoil, thus forcing him to deal with his locked-down emotions.
While hard Venus/Saturn aspects may be more apparent on the surface of a man’s love life, the stormier and (possibly) more difficult contacts seem to be Moon/Saturn. When the Moon’s instincts are wrapped in Saturn’s steel, they are not easily accessed. The surface control masks an uncontrolled emotional life, and what’s denied or repressed will eventually manifest through others. But in both cases (Venus/Saturn and Moon/Saturn) the way forward for Mr. Saturn is a willingness to open himself up to the thing that scares him the most: love.[/show_to]
Related:
- The Difference Between Your Natal Moon and Venus in Relationships
- Astrology Truth or Myth: Moon Square Venus Means a Lifetime of Unsatisfying Relationships
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You mention projecting the 7th house,
what if natal Venus Chiron in Cancer falls in the 7th house opposite Moon Saturn in Capricorn in the 1st ?
What you described is definitely what I’ve witnessed to an extreme.
Thanks for another great article, but I feel this doesn’t just apply to straight men, as a women who’s attracted to other women, with Venus opposite Saturn, it describes me to a t, even the Moon/Saturn aspect (although its not a hard aspect, but a trine) a lot of it still rings true. Once in a blue moon I’ll meet someone and the attraction is mutual, in fact it’s usually really intense on both sides. But the vetting process as you say is so long and arduous that the other person inevitably loses patience and I don’t blame them, or they feel rejected, because I give off rejection signals. At the moment my fears are too strong to overcome, but I’m working on it. These articles gives me some relief, thank you.
Heh. Change the gender and that’s so me. (Venus conj Saturn opp moon – Saturn/moon is just 1.2 degree orb). And the advice is spot on. AND describes the dynamics between myself and someone I met a couple of years ago that I had a very disturbing crush on. :3
I have venus in capricorn ans venus sq saturn. I have dated a venus in cap, saturn in the 7th man and he was a roller coaster. He would be super loving and nice and say what he felt and then he would become a total asshole and take it all back. After bout 2 months, I had enough and cut him loose. Now, he suddenly believes my love and keeps calling.
I recently met a cap moon. He is slow and calculated in his approach and I like how he opens up. I honestly think my scorp moon is warming him up. I dont see the coolness, I see maturity and consistency. Were both sag suns. Funny, I did quiz him on his relationship s with his mother, sisters, and his daughter and his daughters mother. He tells me the good and the bad. Mostly good.
Bonus points, he doesnt make fun of me or call me crazy when I had an insecure moment.
Thanks Nadia very lovely article
The Saturn/moon reminds me of the movie Moonstruck lol ” the older brother who broke the engagement with Cher” for sake of his dying mom. Very funny I think most Italian men or other men who’s having hard times leaving home having this aspect
I’m the opposite having moon conjunction Uranus the other side of Saturn lol
away from home since age 17 and not afraid to try anything at least once 🙂
Thank you very much for posting!
It described so well about a man who I feel about. The attraction was electrified at the beginning, we have Uranus conj Venus in synastry, and it is still going, undercurrent, after four and half years 😉 I just intuitively know. He has Venus in Scorpio, and I guess, moon, either, Gemini or Cancer. But I take Cancer, cause he is extremely emotional, and non communicative. His Venus opposite Saturn, Sun square moon…all the difficulties…;)
I have Capricorn Venus in T-square with Saturn and Mars; and Moon square Pluto. For me, love always turns to ashes.
My most recent romance began when he had Neptune conjunct his Venus. He was like a drunken sailor falling overboard for a mermaid. But this was followed by a long, gruelling Saturn conjunction to his Moon…
When Saturn squared his Venus/Mercury it killed us.
very good article, Nadia.
First I thought you were talk about a man with an opposition between moon-venus, that I would love to understand better….like cancer-venus/moon-capricorn…;-)
Can I say that a man with a moon in capricorn has the same traits of a moon/saturn aspect?
@Glitter
Venus/Chiron can represent an attraction to partners that need healing, or projecting personal wounds/fears onto partners. The opposition to Moon/Saturn ties this in with the emotional shut down, looking for a mother (via the partner) to heal wounds, and/or being afraid that a partner will trigger those wounds.
@Joey
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
@Colleen
Maybe I should do another article on these aspects in a woman’s chart (taking into account Joey’s comment as well).
@Sag24/7
Moon in Cap will manifest a bit differently than Moon in hard aspect to Saturn (even though Saturn is the ruler). Hard aspects to the planets tend to exaggerate their energy.
@Rainbow
There are certainly unbreakable ties to Mom with Moon/Saturn.
@MM
You’re welcome. 🙂
@LLL
Sorry, LLL. Saturn can be a heartbreaker.
@Ana M Oliveira
See my reply to Sag24/7. There may be a similar energy (emotional restraint) but if Moon in in Cap is making no hard aspect to Saturn, the issues will be very different.
Thanks for helping me learn, it’s very interesting. Well-written article and interesting topic.
What about a soft aspect between Venus and Saturn? would a man be as guarded and restrained if it’s a sextile
@Ema
A sextile to Saturn should manifest as restraint without the fear in relationships. But other aspects to his Venus may dominate, since the sextile is not pronounced.
Thanks Nadia.
This particular guy has very prominent Venus, I think it’s most distinct planet in his chart. 7th house Pisces, widely conjunct Sun and Moon, sextile to Uranus, Saturn and Neptune, trine to Pluto, conjunct NN.
Women love him and he enjoys their company, but he is guarded and careful about who he lets in.
Hi Nadia,
Thanks for the post. My guy is a cancer with Venus conjunct Moon in gemini opposing Saturn in sag, but actually I can’t notice the Saturn influence. He is so caring and the first guy who opened me emotionaly with tons of affection, since I always had the walls up for men. He is quite the opposite of all that Saturn means! How would you explain this? Thanks!
I have both of these and it really does suck.
I especially relate to the mother bits. Mine depends on me for too much, I do feel responsible for her, and I don’t feel like there’s room for anyone else in our dynamic–and lord knows it was a lot of stress to try to date while having a mom.
I wanted to say, when you first published this piece, just how On. The. Money. it is.
My ex had a Venus/Saturn conjunction (Leo) and MY GOD, did he move slowly and incredibly cautiously (his Moon is also in Taurus). Moreover, his Venus is conjunct my Saturn (which is conjunct my ASC). That said, having matured into an archetypal Saturnian, I don’t think I’ve heard the last from him (not according to a long, ongoing series of dreams which, just last night, mentioned him in the same breath as a tortoise and a marathon). They (Venus/Saturn folk) do seem to take their time in deciding when it comes to relationships (and also seem to commit/settle down much later in life)… BUT, I get the feeling that once they commit, they commit for life. Good job I’ve long outgrown my impatient, pushy ways, eh?
Super article, Nadia.
How does Saturn biquintile Moon speak about the mother but trines H4 Venus manifest in a man’s if Leo Moon rules & lives in th 3rd?Iv read that it produces a very cold, hard individual and that Mum and Dad’s relationship bears some significance on th son’s future relationships.Psychologically speaking would that mean that someone myt fantasize abwt a relationship with his mother that is “taboo” in some icky way..and stay all in his mind?Therefore repressing all that needy mothering stuff which ends up causing problems.I dnt know..th literature out there doesnt say much bwt th biquintile.
Hi Nadia
I met someone recent online
We had our first phone conversation, we were talking about when to meet in person and not for today because he had to take care of his elderly mom and also he’s staying there since he just moved back to city from another country telling me he is looking for a place soon, so no biggie. ..in the end I asked him what is his birthday info minus time …
he has Saturn conjunction Venus 0 orb 5Taurus conjunction moon@13Taurus
and guess what his Sun Gemini …deja vu just ended a long standing relationship and runt to the same specious I mentioned this in your blog while back that I’m Gemini magnet lol I’m trying to be open minded and use what I learned previously.
I will write more once I get more info thanks Nadia this is very interesting and I already have bad taste in my mouth <3
Ps. The last Gemini had Saturn conjunction moon in Pieces in 2nd trine Venus in cancer 7th tight orbs 4, 8 , 6 degrees
The new Gemini is 5 years younger than last one but ironically similar aspects
He sounds sweet and gentle agrees with anything you say just like the other ….giving tremendous attentions at first but emotionally revolving doors their own unknown reason…..both have Sun square Pluto another scary aspect. I’m in awe in my luck….forget the love life….:)
Nadia sorry for jabbering but you mentioned many times that we attract our own fears lol does progress chart shows that we finally got it and learnt the lessons ? As both moon and Venus faster movement away Saturn lol.
I think we do my Sun used to be sextile Saturn now it’s conjunction on progress …..fear of men……lol 🙂
I have Moon conjunct Saturn in Aries, 7th house. I was abandoned by my extremely bipolar mother at an early age but ended up supporting her and my 2 much younger half brothers until the youngest grew up, then I bought her a house in the mountains near Lake Arrowhead in CA, where they had the 1996 winter Olympic ice skating and where numerous famous people have vacation homes. That got mom out of my hair, but I had to send her money on a regular basis till her death. I was so emotionally damaged I had no “radar” and couldn’t tell when women were attracted to me until age 27.
I didn’t develop radar until I ended up at a covertly Tantric temple. I thought it was a great comparative religion New Age hippy group (Jupiter trine Neptune), but after I had been there 2 years the master must have declared open season on me because the priestesses were fighting over me, creating all kinds of weird psychic effects. The only positive effect was that I suddenly acquired radar so acute that I could feel a girl staring at me from behind. But other than that it was total chaos and I ended up running away.
Ever since when a woman shows up on my radar I treat it as an incoming missile alert, so fear of love is definitely true of me.
P.S. I’m a happily committed bachelor.
Oh, also, I was largely attracted to older women as a young man, a very Moon conjunct Saturn thing, until I got too old for that and went to the other extreme, but I only flirt.
All things you said about venus/saturn aspect is right with my man. He has venus square saturn aspect in his natal. He’s cautious, and carefully in early relationship with me, i have moon square saturn in natal, too. Maybe that, i can understand his feelings about this problem. It take a long time for me to close with him. A bit to hard. But now we are happy. My moon fall in his 4th house, my venus and mercury fall in his 5th house. That’s a wonderfull relationship…
Thanks to your post so much!. It really true with my man. 🙂 Look forward your next post.