A relationship with a Pisces lover can feel like chasing a beautiful reflection in the water. Then the reflection dissolves and reappears over there. Before you know it, you’re far from shore. The allure of the Pisces man or woman lies in the endless possibilities they represent. But those who have swum (or drowned) in their waters may question if the chase is worth it. Is it possible to establish a solid relationship with the slipperiest of signs?
In the “Pisces lover” category I’m including anyone with their Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars or Ascendant in Pisces, or in aspect to Neptune (Pisces’ ruler). As I write this, I’m fully aware that many Pisces/Neptune people make excellent partners. But they have certain characteristics that can be frustrating in relationships.
The Danger of the Dream
Pisces expands things through dissolution. This can be seductive to you, because not only does Mr. Pisces appear to represent your dream come true, he dissolves your limits and fears. Having your boundaries loosened can be addictive. And this happens softly and painlessly. Neptune rules spirituality, as well as alcohol, drugs and artistic works (poetry, music, film) — anything that transcends the mundane world. Seeing that magic distilled into a person is immensely attractive. All Pisces/Neptune people have (or are) a conduit to that other world.
The difficulties begin when you attempt to create something solid with Mr. Pisces. If he is acting out his Shadow, he can be deceptive. He may masquerade as one person, but eventually he’s revealed to be someone totally different. He could be an addict, or caught up in the mystical chase, always yearning after the ideal lover. He projects his Pisces/Neptune energy onto you, and when he discovers that you’re not the ticket to his dreamworld, he fades away.
But sometimes, things dissolve because of what you’ve projected onto your Pisces. Miss Pisces has a way of triggering your most cherished fantasies, but it remains to be seen if she is who you’ve built her up to be. The dynamics of victim/savior, sadist/masochist, or artist/muse can come into play. Often, she is not who you’ve dreamed into existence, and the intensity of disillusionment is relative to the intensity of your ideals. Pisces energy is never cut and dried, so all of the above scenarios can be mixed together. You desperately want her to be something, and she obliges (consciously or not). But eventually, reality hits.
So how do you navigate your attraction to a Pisces person? Just like any other sign, some Pisces are healthy and ready for commitment, while others are not. It can be tricky sussing this out, because clarity is not a Pisces trait. But we still live in the real world, and there are certain things you can depend on. Look at the actions of your Pisces love to determine if he or she is worth the investment of your time and energy. Eventually, even the dreamiest Pisces will have to walk the talk. Does she follow up with what she says she’s going to do? Can you live with his actions? If the answer to these questions is “No,” then you should probably move on. If you find yourself sucked into the whirlpool of ignoring deceptions/self-delusion, that’s a topic for a different article. If the answer to those questions is “Yes,” then you’ve entered a rare zone: the place where dreams and reality mesh.
Understand that your lover will always have one foot in another world. This is true of even the most committed Pisces. When he drifts off, it’s not because he doesn’t love you. For all his compassion, your Pisces can be detached, because he is focused on what lies beyond the immediate world. His love is based on the awareness that we’re all part of a bigger pattern, and it’s a bit impersonal. This is not the Scorpio demand for intimacy, or the Cancer insistence on nurturing. If you want love that’s in your face and all about you, 24/7, that’s not Pisces. Even in his most intimate moments, you may get a sense that he’s not quite there.
Pisces needs magic. If you demand that she “get real” (or whatever your version of this is) you’re denying who she is. You’ll never be able to completely pin her down; you might as well try crushing water in your fist. Again, this does not mean that she can’t be faithful. But it does mean that you’ll have to trust her. The flip-side of Pisces deception is belief. And if you’re attracted to this energy, part of you wants that magic in your life. Then you need to ask yourself what you’re projecting onto your Pisces. If he or she ends up disappointing you, what were your expectations to begin with?
Amidst all the uncertainty, there are rare pleasures that come from being involved with a Pisces/Neptune lover. Compassion and empathy is simply off the charts. He can be endlessly forgiving of your faults, and often sees the magic in you that no one else sees. She can maintain a certain innocence, no matter how much life experience she has. In essence, the best way to navigate the waters of a Pisces relationship is to stay aware of your expectations and accept the magic.
Related Reading: The Pisces Man and Woman
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