Romantic Fixations That Outlast the Transits That Trigger Them

There’s nothing quite like a romantic obsession that goes on for years. And years. I’m referring to an attraction that is making you and/or someone else miserable. Whether it’s unrequited love, or mutual but destructive lust, it involves someone that you simply cannot let go of. If you’re paying attention to the prevailing transits, there’s usually a trigger that kicks it off. But once that transit is over, shouldn’t the obsession be over as well? In some cases, the transit ends but the feelings continue unabated. It gets to the point where you’d do almost anything to free yourself from this state that lingers like an unwanted guest.

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Existing Potential

Some transits have reputations for triggering obsessive love/attraction. Transiting Pluto or Neptune in hard (square, conjunction or opposition) aspect to your natal Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars are the usual suspects. Pluto triggers transformation through intensity, and sometimes that intensity involves the need to merge with someone so that you can fully understand yourself through them. Transiting Neptune opens up possibilities, which can manifest as a fantasy that’s linked to a specific person. Both of these transits are so potent because they are slow, aspecting your natal planet for up to three years.

Once the transit finishes, so does the obsession (usually). But your natal chart is Ground Zero for any potential. If the natal planet being hit is predisposed to generating a continuous loop of attraction, the obsession can continue. It’s as if the transit is the stone that creates ripples, but your natal energies keep those ripples going. There are many different natal sign/planet combinations that can encourage this, so I’m not going to list them all. The obvious ones are a natal planet in Scorpio or aspecting natal Pluto (ruler of Scorpio). The Scorpio/Pluto urge for self-knowledge through another is triggered (by the transit). That urge can become repetitive as you keep looking deeper for some “truth” even after the transit finishes.

A natal planet in Pisces aspecting natal Neptune (Pisces’ ruler) or in the 12th House puts that planet in close proximity to the Divine — or at least gives you a sense of what lies beyond the physical world. When a transit triggers that planet, you can feel like you’re being pushed a bit closer to the possibility of transcendence. There’s a glimpse of something that seems almost attainable. But once the transit is over, your natal planet is still floating around out there and doesn’t come back to Earth. The object of your affection seems to be a conduit to a magical world, your window to that elusive state of grace.

Of course, there has to be appropriate synastric connections between you and the other person. A lingering obsession will only take root if there are potent inter-aspects, such as one of their personal planets conjunct your South Node or square your Nodal axis (signifying a past life connection). Their personal planet(s) in hard aspect to your Sun/Moon midpoint, 1st/7th House cusp or (sometimes) Saturn can also have a significant impact on you. Also, personal planets (yours or theirs) in hard aspect to the other person’s Pluto or Neptune can feel overwhelmingly significant.


If transits are external triggers, progressions are the internal developments of your natal potential. They dictate how you respond to a transit at that moment in your life. The progressed Moon is the most noticeable progression, because it changes signs quickly enough to make a difference, but slowly enough so that you feel it (it takes about two to three years to move through one sign). As your core needs shift (according to the sign) sometimes that shift can extend the potency of a transit. For example, let’s say you’re being hit by a square from transiting Neptune to your Venus. You’re hooked on the fantasy of a romantic union with Mr. Unavailable (who’s married to someone else). The Neptune square finishes, but your progressed Moon enters Taurus (a fixed, earth sign). This progression is known to solidify whatever began when your progressed Moon was in Aries (which happened during the Neptune square). So even though the Neptune glamour is over, you’re stuck in a place where you need to develop (Taurus) whatever came before. If your progressed Moon enters Pisces instead of Taurus, the effects of the Neptune transit might be drawn out due to your need to hook into that sense of endless possibility (even though the possibilities for this particular romance are clearly limited).

Breaking Free

Almost any astrologer will say that you have a choice in how you’ll respond to transits and progressions. Sometimes it’s incredibly difficult to make certain choices, but the final say is still yours. It can help to zero in on the transit that triggered it all, and see what natal planet was being hit; that’s your starting point. From there, you’ll need to tackle the issue according to the planet, sign and house involved.

For example, a natal planet in Scorpio (or aspecting Pluto) needs to hit rock bottom before amputation occurs. Once bottom is hit, there’s nothing more to learn, and a death occurs. You move on and never look back. How sweet that would feel! That’s not to say that you should push yourself (or the other person) to an unpleasant extreme. But you can try to look at the issue as a dead end. Are you getting anything more from the situation? Is there something else you could switch your attention to instead?  Approaching it in terms of survival can also help. You’re stagnating, which is a kind of death for Scorpio/Pluto. In the case of Neptune/Pisces, sometimes all that’s needed is a clear dose of reality to puncture the illusion. Really look at the person/situation, or get someone else to lay it out for you. If a progression is extending the life of your obsession, the progressed Moon changing signs can be your ticket out. Your progressed Moon moving from Taurus to Gemini can be a breath of fresh air. Suddenly, you have no patience for any fixation because there’s so many other things to look at. Progressed Moon from Pisces to Aries can feel like being reborn, as your focus shifts to moving forward and looking after Number One (that’s you, by the way).

If all else fails, a wake-up call like transiting Uranus (liberation) or Saturn (reality) through your 7th House — or aspecting the affected natal planet — can act like a brisk splash of disinfectant. Uranus transits bring clarity, usually by yanking you or the other person away and making it impossible for you to continue focusing on them. Saturn transits create limits/restrictions that act like a wall between you and your fixation. Sometimes that wall is your own obligations, which you’ve been ignoring. Know that no matter how compelling the attraction, you are not powerless. There is always a way out.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers over 19 years of experience in astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying practical astrological analysis to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.


  1. Hi Nadia,

    Very interesting thanks! A few observations and queries:

    1) Yes, Tr Pluto had hit my Natal Moon in Scorpio in 6H, when I was hit with self destructive obsession.

    2) An astrologer (Western) told me that Tr Neptune square Natal Venus can actually dissolve marriages. It actually happened in my case. The day Tr Nep in 9H Aquarius squared my Venus exactly, I got my divorce decree. Ofcourse 9H perhaps had something to do with the court case?

    3) If Natal Venus of person A, is at 7 degree Sagi, and sun moon mid point of person B is 14 degree Sagi, can it create an obsession ?

    4) If progressed moon of person A hits sun moon midpoint in sagi of person B, can it again create something?

    5) if Progressed Moon of person A touches Desc of Person B / enters his/her 7H, can it create a 2 way / one way obsession, atleast for the house person?

    Many thanks


  2. magiczara says:

    I had this happen to me a couple of years ago. I think the triggers were Neptune opposing my Moon and Pluto just beginning its square to my Venus. Saturn moving through Libra (on top of my Venus) helped me to be realistic and kept me from doing something that would have ruined my life, but even though I ended the contact with this person, it took much longer for the feelings of longing to end. Sometimes those thoughts come back, briefly, whenever Pluto and Venus meet in hard aspect in the sky (like recently). I’m still not through with my own Pluto-Venus transit, but thankfully, I’m able to look at things logically and understand what the payoff is with these feelings so I’m not obsessing nonstop.

  3. Hi Nadia

    The post from Magiczara, made me think furtherand wonder. Only Point number 3 below matches with the article above. However, there seem to be some other complicated connection between Neptune-Venus, Jupiter (expansion), Pluto/Scorpio and Progressed Moon, described in points below. Looks quite 2-way to me. Grateful if you let me know if this could this have created a one-way obsession, from my side. I still dont know his feelings. We continue to be friends. He knows my feelings

    1) Tr Neptune in Pisces is at an exact square to his Natal Venus
    Tr Neptune is conjunct my MC, and opposed to my IC. His Natal
    Venus in Sagi squares my MC and IC, and his Natal Jupiter is conjunct my IC.

    2) My Natal Neptune conjuncts his Natal Venus in Sagi. His Natal Venus (7 Sagi)is very close to my Sun-Moon midpoint (14 Sagi). Sagi is also my Desc. Tr Pluto is in my 7H now, conjunct his Natal Sun
    , which is conjunct my Natal Mercury, and sextiles my Natal Venus in Scorpio.

    3) Also his Natal Neptune in Scorpio conjuncts my Jupiter-Moon in Scorpio. I have a strong Scorpionic stellium. Except Sun and Mercury and planets in Scorpio. Howver my Pluto is otherwise unaspected by my Natal Planets.

    4)His Uranus is conjunct my Natal Pluto in 4H, no other aspects with my Pluto.

    5) His Natal Pluto trines his Natal Mercury, which sextiles my Jupiter-Moon in Scorpio. His Natal Pluto also sextiles my Natal Venus and Jupiter-Moon both in Scorpio.

    6 ) Also his Progressed Moon is conjunct my Sun Moon Mid point in Sagi.

    7) Either my Jupiter-Moon in Scorpio or my Natal Neptune in Sagi squares his Sun Moon Mid Point. (dont have his birth time, so only a range for his SM Mid point)

    Many thanks,


  4. To add, in summary, there appears to be Uranus and Saturn into the mix to perhaps make it more than a one-way obsession. But 2 additional Plutonic connect too.

    1)His Natal Mercury that trines hi Natal Pluto and sextiles my Jupiter-Moon in Scorpio falls in my 8H (Pluto ruled). And his Natal Mars squares my Natal Jupiter-Moon in Scorpio

    2) Besides his Uranus conjunct my Natal Pluto, my 4H Uranus squares his Sun in my 7H, which sextiles my Venus in Scorpio + Jupiter Moon in Scorpio
    Also, his Natal Mars is conjunct my NN, which is ruled by Uranus.

    3) ofcourse we have 2 way Saturn connections too

    How do I know if this is an unhealthy obsession or a potential 2 way relnshp.

    Thank you

  5. This is revelatory for me, and very helpful. Ive had a couple of these in my time with me nearing the end of the latest that started late 2009 (I certainly hope Im almost over it, lol). I’m going to check the transits for the years/times. Thankyou so much!

  6. This explains it. Thanks Nadia.

    I checked Tr. Neptune for the day when my bizarre intense relationship with my current partner (who until then happened to be a harmless friend of 8 years, more like a guy-next-door) kicked off out of the blue overnight.

    We have a nodal square in dual signs in synastry. The square overlays my 1-7-4-10 houses. There are several planets latched on to the square in those houses, creating skipped step planets. They include both chart rulers and both NN rulers. Both Venuses and both Neptunes.

    On the day, Tr. Neptune as well as his progressed moon were conjunct his Natal NN in Pisces activating that nodal square + skipped step configuration! Tr. Neptune was also squaring his/my 7th house natal Neptunes.

    I think Tr Neptune was the biggest culprit of the day helped by other supporting cast as follows.
    * Pluto transiting in his/my 8th house while squaring my natal pluto of my 5th house.
    * Saturn transiting on my natal Sun/moon midpoint which squares his IC/moon conjunction
    * Tr. New moon on my IC
    * My annual Venus return day.
    * Tr. Juno on my MC
    * SN transiting his/my 12th house
    * His/My natal SN & fifth house ruler, mercury, transiting over our composite Sun-SN tight conjunction

    It is interesting to see how even the transits of faster/inner planets support the transits of the heavyweights on days when big events happen.

  7. @S
    The 9th House does represent legal issues.
    For your other questions, I would have to look at both charts (which requires a consultation) to give you an answer.

  8. @magiczara
    Transiting Saturn can be a blessing in disguise sometimes.

  9. @Debbie
    You’re welcome! Glad it helped…

  10. @marion
    Yes, the faster transits can trigger specific events suggested by the slower transits. They all work together.

  11. Thanks Nadia. I will happily place and order for consultation.

    My specific qn with respect to this article would be:

    1) Could Tr Neptune squaring Natal Venus, also trigger dissolution of marriage or is it only obsession ?

    2) could Tr Neptune squaring Natal Neptune thats conjunct with another person’s Natal Venus trigger obsession- for the Natal Neptune person, Venus person or both?

    3) Would you consider 7 degree to Sun Moon Mid point close enough for conjunction?

    4) and last, Tr Pluto conjunct Natal Sun. If the Natal Sun falls in 7H of another person, who will feel the obsession – the house person or the Sun person

    would be grateful if its possible to know your views on the above.



  12. Ugh! I can’t remember where it was but Nadia you wrote a similar article on neptune or uranus relationships where once the transit ends and the smoke clears you wonder what the hell you were thinking.

    I met a guy when pluto in sag was on my moon/uranus. We broke up multiple times (of course) but I started to see the light when pluto in capricorn hit my neptune and squared my GCC. I elevated him to a God, a saviour-like being. He was none of that and I didn’t feel like I had control over it at the time. I know we always have the final say and I know I consciously and willingly chose him, but the way I saw him really was like a spell. I could not see him clearly, I couldn’t see myself clearly until neptune squared and conjoined my angles.

    I finally broke free when pluto and uranus squared my mercury but it feels almost devastating to know that it was all an illusion. It was a grand waste of time with someone terrible and I walked right into it. I’m glad neptune is still direct because I’m not in denial.

    Neptune is now on my 7th cusp and Im avoiding all romantic relationships. At least now I’m figuring out why I was drawn to that deception.

  13. Thanks Nadia. I think this article has explained all the romantic pain I have suffered since age 17, thanks to a stellium in Scorpio. The worst has been Tr Pluto conjunct Natal Venus in 5H.

    I separated when Tr Pluto crossed my desc. But since Tr Neptune squared my Stellium, I continued to obsess about my then husband, despite he walking out.

    Later I obsessed about a man whose Sun fell in my 7H, and Tr Pluto conjuncted both his and my Sun.

    Post that my obsessions with other men contd, as Tr Nep continued squaring my Scorp stellium, and Tr Pluto contd conjuncting my Sun in 7H. One such man had Natal Sun opposed to mine and it fell in my 1H. Wow recipe for disaster..

    Finally, I am free of both influences. Tr Pluto tho still in my 7H, isnt conjunct my sun any more. And Tr Nep no longer squares my Scorp stellium.

    I doubt if the current man on my mind, tho having caused some pain, will classify as obsession.

    However, Tr Pluto does conjunct his Natal Sun in my 7H, and will do so for several years.

    His Tr Nep squares his Venus that conjuncts my Jupiter- Moon, but thats not that obsessive.

    This one could actually work out to be a long-term relationship, since there is such strong synastry, provided ofcourse his marriage dissolves, for which there are following signs:

    – Tr Uranus is conjunct his Moon and squares his Natal Sun which is conjunct Tr Pluto.

    – Tr Nep squares his Venus.

    We will see as time goes. My next dangerous phase with Tr Pluto squaring my Natal Stellium in Scorp will happen when I am 60. Then I guess obsessions wont be too destructive!

    Thanks again Nadia, for helping shed light on past pain. Have lost a lot, obsessing. Wish I was aware when young.


  14. @S
    The answers to these questions depends on the charts of the people in question. Whether one or the other person feels the obsession depends on the rest of the contacts between them. I don’t consider a 7 degree orb to the midpoint close enough to be a conjunction.

  15. Thanks a lot, Nadia.

    1) For a planet to mid-point aspect, would your max orbs be the same as you apply in synastry. I read in another article of yours that in synastry, your orbs are tighter and are as follows: 6 degress for conjunctions and oppositions, 5 degrees for squares, 4 for trines, 3 for sextiles and 2 for inconjuncts?

    2) would the above synastry max orbs also apply for contacts like angles to mid-points? Or is it a must for it to be a planet-sensitive point combination?

    3) May I ask, if in synastry you use the above orbs as the max, as you say in another article here, what the max orbs for a single natal chart planet aspect. They must be wider, right, given that you say you use tighter orbs in synastry?

    Many thanks for your help.


  16. My moon in 12th house at 14 Libra is quincunx natal Venus in 7th house Taurus, the obsessive need to be pleasing to others was in control for a long time in my life. Pluto and Neptune both aspect my natal Merc, which has been a curse turned blessing eventually. Pluto did a real job on my cancer sun and merc and now moves into trine my natal venus and square my moon, neptune has moved from trine natal sun towards trine natal merc, the proof of whether I have really broken free from that obsession, will be in the the tasting of the pudding, I am hoping the taste is now sweet 🙂

  17. Wow! Thank You Nadia…Your posts are so timely and intuitive, hitting the mark.
    This explains so much for me. This one attraction just doesn’t seem to really, truly finally end.
    He’s Capricorn…my no node and I’ve been on a Saturn transit ‘ride’ for a while.
    I have no Earth and I am cosmic-ly drawn to his cold aloof demeanor .The King of Swords.

    The 2 Cancer Sun/strong Aquarius men were equally challenging in their dysfunctional behaviors, but ultimately I knew it was done and only friends. (My so. node in Cancer conjunct Uranus)

    After reading this I need to pull out my charts and look more in depth.
    But this Scorpio full moon and Mars turning direct with a final pass, this year through my 12th may do the trick so I can let go and move on to someone far healthier for me.

  18. @S
    Orbs to midpoints are much tighter: 1-2 degrees max. Only the hard aspects are considered. For more information on midpoints please search in the archives for an article I wrote on the topic “Your Sun/Moon Midpoint: The Key to your Relationships.” Please check the FAQ section on my website for other orbs that I use.

  19. @debbie
    Moon inconjunct Venus can create an endless craving for love, especially when your Moon is in the boundary-less 12th House. But Pluto aspecting your Mercury should help with awareness, and that’s a powerful tool to deal with your own chart.

  20. @Diorah
    Yes, 12th House transits are excellent for release.

  21. @S
    I may have quoted those synastry orbs in a past article, but I actually prefer even slightly tighter orbs than these. Again, they are listed in the FAQ section on my website. Having said that, these are my preferences only. Orbs can be fluid, and this is not an exact science. Some astrologers use very wide orbs.

  22. Hi Nadia,

    Both my partner and I have experienced recent hard Neptune or Pluto transits to our Venuses, each located in our respective 12th house. According to your article, Neptune/Pluto transits to 12th house planets could lead to obsession, whether the natal planet has a Piscean (or Plutonian) signature or not. Did I read that correctly? Thanks.

  23. @cp
    That’s correct. The 12th House creates a Neptunian influence (lack of boundaries, awareness of/desire for more) no matter what sign the planet is in.

  24. Hi Nadia,

    yes, looked up the FAQs. Thanks a lot!


  25. Janet bianchini says:

    This is a well written , thorough explanation of unrequited love. I just found this site. I will look for more articles

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