How Family Patterns Are Repeated in the Charts of Significant Partners

If you look at your natal chart and compare it to the charts of your immediate family (parents, siblings, etc) you will see patterns. Maybe one or two signs emphasized for everyone, or aspects between a certain outer planet to the inner planets of each person. These patterns are familial themes. You and your kin are the canvas on which an evolving astrological portrait is painted. With each generation, a new shade is mixed in, but some base colors remain the same.

You will probably see similar patterns in the charts of your partners. Lovers who are meant to play a significant role in your life will carry on that theme. This may not be fantastic news, especially if you’re trying to distance yourself from unhappy family dynamics. The reality is, people are drawn to those whose energy resonates with their childhood experience. But this doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to repeat your parents’ marriage. On the contrary, this is a chance to work through some of those dynamics.

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Related: The Astrology of Marriage in the Royal Family

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers over 19 years of experience in astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying practical astrological analysis to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.


  1. Great article. 🙂 When I met my friend, he couldn’t handle anyone talking nicely to him, let alone take a compliment. I saw abandonment and neglect, I recognised it and knew what he needed. He recognised my issues in the same way and showed me the same patience and understanding. He has helped with my anger issues and also not allowing myself to have fun. After some years knowing each other, we are slowly helping each other to heal, though it’s not an easy road, because leaving the comfort of your protective shell is frightening.

    When I look back, I notice I am drawn to/attract saturn, and saturn is quite prominent in my chart I think, it aspects every planet except uranus and NN/SN. 10 Pisces 5H, responsibility comes first, no fun unless there’s ‘spare’ time. My friend has the same work ethic as a sun Cap, and saturn is conjunct his MC.

    I don’t know the chart aspects for my parents or family members, but signs are repeated. My friend is sun Cap. My closest sibling is Cap rising. My sun scorpio is my friend’s AC, and he has other family members sun scorpio. His sun and moon are the signs of his parents. His sister’s sign is his 8H and she trines his AC. My AC and DC, Libra and Aries, are the sun signs of a fair number of family members/siblings. One sibling is scorpio moon.

    Rulers of scorpio and aries, pluto and mars, repeat in my friend’s and my charts and also in the composite – we both have pluto square mars natally and in the composite. Might be scary in some people’s charts, but for us, it seems to be helping us out of our shells. I was just looking at this last night as the spring equinox will activate pluto square mars in the composite. Hopefully in a good way and we step up! Thanks, Nadia 🙂

  2. The most striking example of this in my experience is the similarity of my Sun/Moon degrees to the natal chart of my father-in-law. His Capricorn Sun is within a couple of degrees of mine, and his natal moon (in Aries, like me) is exactly conjunct my natal Saturn. My husband is a Libra, like his mom, so I am assuming he wanted to repeat the dynamic for a long-lasting marriage that his parents have (they recently celebrated their 50th anniversary). Ironically, or perhaps significantly, my husband’s grandparents were also an early degrees Capricorn (grandpa) and a mid-degrees Libra (grandma).

  3. So true. I’m an Aries Sun , Leo rising. My Mom is an Aries Sun, Leo Moon. My Dad is a Leo Sun, Aries Moon. That’s one theme.

    The other more predominant theme I find in the extended family is Uranian. I’m Uranus rising and Sun trine Uranus. My Mom is Sun conjunct Uranus (exact), my Dad is Moon conjunct Uranus. My aunt has about 5 planets in Aquarius. Both of my best friends growing up were Aquastells, both born in Feb of 1962 so they both have 6 planets in Aquarius

    A lot of the men I dated in my life had Uranus aspects as well. Probably as commitment phobic as I was!

    I also used to attract in mars pluto people a LOT, as well as mars saturn people. I don’t have those aspects in my chart though. After a few years, I just stopped doing it. I suppose all that personal growth work paid off. I can spot a mars pluto person a mile off now, and I want nothing to do with them!

  4. magiczara says:

    Nice article! This is a way of looking at relationships using astrology in a way I have never quite seen before. Thanks! It’s very useful.

  5. I am truly enlightened today! I have been deliberating over two potential partners for the past 1.5 years almost pulling my hair out trying to figure out what is going on. Today i compared their charts against charts of my father and my son.

    One guy who’s planets are hitting my SN is so much like my dad, chartwise. I am super comfortable living with him and i understand him so well. But i know life with him will stifle my progress as an individual. AND i dont get along with my dad!

    The other guy who’s planets are hitting my NN is like my Son, chartwise. I am tense around him (though attracted) and am intrigued by him. But i know i will go exactly where i want to go in life, with him around. AND I love my Son to the ends of the universe!

    So i know i must eventually let go of the life with the former and embrace life with the latter.

    Here are the transits for the HOUR of my sudden and unexpected enlightenement today! Transiting saturn exact conjunct natal DC, transiting Sun exact opposite natal Sun, transiting moon exact conjunct natal sun/moon midpoint, Transiting mars exact conjunct Uranus.

    Thanks a TON Nadia.

  6. I forgot to add that his sister’s sign is my MC. And the very first time we met, we spent much of the evening talking about our families! He has felt like family to me from the start. I thought it was his sun in my 4H, but I see it’s more than that. 🙂

  7. enigmanomaly says:

    great read nadia – thank you for your seasoned input and “reminder” that our family patterns and history can repeat thru relationships, providing us opportunities to sort out and work through our “long-running issues.” it can be truly insightful seeing how planets correspond with family and partners…my mom’s sun is right where my natal Saturn is; my father and my son both have moon/mars conjunct in Libra (my father, first decan, my son, in the last degree); my son and i are both Sag with Scorpio rising, have venus conjunct uranus (though i was birthed into scorpio intensity, while he got detached aquarius). My real introductory hook into astrology was when I had to acknowledge that my first, “unforgettable,” long-term relationship involved living with my moon sign (my partner) and my ascendant (his mother). just a few of my own personal observations 🙂 karma can work in such funny ways….

  8. My wife and I share Scorpio as Ascendant, and both of us have a virtual boat-load of planets stuffed into the cargo-hold of our 9th houses. This makes for understanding much of the time, but in darker periods like now, when I am so effing tired of being me, it can be difficult to find the equanimity needed in the relationship.

    My dad is Scorpio rising too, as was one of my brothers. His natal Saturn was positioned right over my Ascendant, as is my wife’s.

  9. I am wondering if adoptees follow their adoptive family patterns or their birth family patterns? I was adopted shortly after birth, and have a sister who was adopted shortly after birth. Interestingly, we both birthed children who were adopted by our partners later in our children’s lives. Would these patterns be impacted by *when* someone was adopted – earlier vs. later in childhood? What do you think, Nadia?

  10. @Kisses
    You’re welcome, Kisses. The Saturn theme takes some work to get past those walls, but it’s good for focusing on what really matters.

  11. @Mary
    Capricorn and Libra…blend those themes together and you have the long-lasting, traditional relationship. Thanks for sharing.

  12. @barb
    Thanks barb. It’s very constructive to notice whom we stop attracting, as well as whom we keep attracting. As you’ve noted, it’s encouraging…shows the progress you’ve made.

  13. @magiczara
    You’re welcome…that’s my hope with all my writings (that I can make astrological concepts useful).

  14. @marion
    Wow…you’re welcome! It’s interesting the way everything slides into place.

  15. @enigmanomaly
    You’re welcome. 🙂

  16. @Jeff
    Yes, you’ve hit on one of the downsides of the pattern repetition; it can make it difficult to step back from who you are at times.

  17. @Judy
    Now that’s an interesting question. I’m not 100% sure, but I would assume that children you adopt are part of the same, karmic pattern as children you give birth to, and the partners you attract. Everyone who is meant to become part of a family will repeat those patterns in some way, no matter what stage of life they are adopted at. I would think the adoptive and birth family patterns would have similar themes. Meaning, the birth and adoptive families might share one, particular thread, because they were meant to play a role in each other’s lives as well….the adoptive child connects them. This is just speculation, but it would be an interesting topic for study.

  18. Thank you for this article. This is something I’ve been trying to puzzle out for quite some time. We have some interesting dynamics in our natal charts as a family. I hope this is easy enough to follow to see what I mean: I am Sagittarius Sun with a Sagittarius ascendant (four personal planets in 12th house Sagittarius). My Husband is Virgo Sun (7th house he has 3 personal planets there) with his ascendant Pisces. His MC is Sagittarius and conjuncts my Venus (one of my personal planets in Sagittarius) all four of those personal planets fall into his 10th house. Where it really gets interesting is all five of my children (only three are his biological children) have a Virgo ascendant. All five children with an ascendant in Virgo is what I find very I interesting because the oldest is in her mid 30’s and the youngest is still a teenager. That means all five of their IC are Sagittarius and my four personal planets are in their 4th house with my Venus conjunct either their IC (3 children) or their Jupiter in the 4th house (2 children). I find that very interesting. I’ve always wondered why I have so many Virgo’s in my life. Virgo is on the cusp of my 9th house. I haven’t been able to figure that one out. The last thing I would like to add is that the relationship that I have with my children is exceptional and none have ever rebelled or given me any trouble. They have been a joy in my life from each of their births. (There are other similarities but this is one that has puzzled me the most). Thanks again for your article!

  19. Fascinating! I notice that both of my parents, two of my three kids, and two good friends have Sun in the 10th house. Also, with all of those people except one of the friends, I share a composite Sun in 11. Does this just mean I chose friends who feel like family?

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