Dealing with the Emotional and Sexual Demands of a Scorpionic Person

Credit: cokacoka via iStockphoto

Credit: cokacoka via iStockphoto

Scorpio has a reputation for dark sexuality, intensity, secrecy and power. Being in a relationship with this sign can be overwhelming at times, and you may wonder if you can give them everything they want. The good news is, if a Scorpio has chosen you as their lover, you’re halfway there (they don’t partner up with just anyone). But there can still be draining moments, as you navigate their demands for truth while dealing with their control issues.

The key to Scorpio behavior is understanding their desires for survival and transformation. The push for absolute intimacy is how they get to know you. The more they know about you, the safer they feel — that’s how they survive. But Scorpio also goes through gradual, powerful changes. Stagnation is poison to this sign, so they push their limits (and yours) as they explore; they go deep to move forward. There’s also a difference in how various personal planets act in Scorpio, which can dictate how you might approach the demands of your Scorpio lover.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers over 19 years of experience in astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying practical astrological analysis to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.


  1. No Ascendant in Scorpio? 🙂

  2. Hi Nadia,

    Two questions please.

    1. How does Sun-Moon midpoint energy in Scorpio show up in a woman’s chart, particularly when conjuncted in synastry by say scorpio mars of a man?

    2. How does Composite Sun and Composite IC in Scorpio manifest in general?

    Thank you

  3. Hi again Nadia,

    Do you consider Mars as ruler of Scorpio or Pluto or both?

  4. Mars in Scorpio in opposition to Venus & Sun in Taurus. This explains a lot. Sigh-
    Thanks, Nadia.

  5. @H,
    yes, AC in Scorpio works too, but I focused the article on more internal, relationship oriented planets.

  6. @marion
    1. Midpoint energy isn’t felt unless it’s activated by someone else’s planets or by transits/progressions. It doesn’t express itself in the natal chart like a planet. Mars to Scorpio midpoint is very sexual.

    2. John Townley has written an excellent book on Composite Charts called “Composite charts: The Astrology of Relationships” which describes all the Composite planets and Ascendants in all the signs.

  7. @Marion,
    I consider Pluto primarily as the Scorpio ruler, but Mars still works if there’s an issue that really focuses on rulerships (traditional and modern). For most purposes though, Pluto.

  8. Does this also apply to planets in the 8th house?


  9. I love Scorpio/Plutonians. They can be tough to deal with but boundaries are the antidote to the irrational fear they have about losing control…such a critical point you made, Nadia.

  10. I wonder how this translates for a Venus square Pluto individual..

  11. I’m a Moon and Venus in Scorpio. Both in the 8th House.

  12. Fascinating to read about Venus in Scorpio, especially knowing one who says, “I’m evolving.”

    When you say Venus is also about giving and what’s desired in return, what do the air signs give, especially the more detached ones? I know they want space but giving you space isn’t very romantic in a traditional Venus way.

  13. This article is spot! Any men I’ve been involved with have alot of scorpio in their chart and being with them always involved that absolute push for intimacy you speak of. From my point of view, I’m pretty sure I attract these kind of men for a reason. Despite my gemini moon, I hate shallow chit chat and am pretty intense and dramatic in all that I do. I have pluto in scorpio opposite my sun/moon midpoint so I’ve always felt that pluto really defines me. It’s in my 5th house and squares my jupiter in the 7th. So many family/ friends (particularly lovers) have planets conjuncting my pluto, jupiter sun/moon midpoint!

    Personally I love scorpio, they’re always so interesting and sexy. I’ve also noticed that the suns and moons in particular often have a majorly defining story/life event that is revealed in time if they trust you. (I refer to young scorpios)

  14. I have mars in Scorpio and seem to have been involved with a disproportionate amount of men who also have mars in Scorpio. They were always really short and volatile relationships though. Right now I am involved with a man who has Venus in Scorpio. Maybe there’s a theme here…

    It’s definitely true that I need someone who really challenges me and sets their boundaries.

  15. @Nanea
    To an extent. Any planet in the 8th will be intensified, but the sign it’s in will be intensified as well.

  16. @Tazaye D
    Similar drive as Venus in Scorpio, but that drive will be expressed through the qualities of the signs.

  17. @Leo
    Air signs also give you the intellectual connection. Thoughts/conversations. But giving someone their own space is sexy to an Air sign. Libra might be an exception to that, though (they want full-on partnership).

  18. @Ellie
    Good point about your Pluto and Sun/Moon midpoint.

  19. curious757 says:

    oh DEFINITELY on venus scorpio. Nothing light or fun or easy. Deep transformation.

    Funnily, when it’s put into words you don’t really notice it….it just seems very natural to be in a relationship with one (husband has this, so does my mother, but my mother has more scorpio in her in personal planets)

  20. Gabrielle Blake says:

    As a Scorpio moon, I can say all true…I have learned to really embrace my Scorpio girl…

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