The Worst Times to Push Your Partner

Credit: doble-d via iStockphoto

Credit: doble-d via iStockphoto

Timing is (almost) everything in relationships. If you want to hash out an issue or broach a touchy subject, knowing how receptive your partner is (at that moment) can make all the difference. Sometimes it’s difficult to know where your lover is at, and that’s when astrology can help. Certain transits and progressions will encourage a person to shut down, or be less interested in commitment. And transits and progressions are temporary. Of course, you always have to start with the natal chart — some people will never be ready to commit. But sometimes, it’s simply a matter of waiting out an influence.

The Progressed Moon in Aries: Me First

The Progressed Moon represents a person’s evolving needs. When it changes signs, there can be an obvious shift in what your partner is able to give, or what they want from you.

When the Progressed Moon moves from Pisces into Aries, the shift can be dramatic. When their Moon is in Pisces, your partner may be more willing to accept whatever you need (Pisces does not have strong boundaries). But once their Moon moves into assertive Aries, they may lose patience and become focused on what they need. They’ll need to be first, and they’ll need freedom. This will be especially noticeable if your partner has emphasized Aries or Mars in their chart. The Progressed Moon in Aries is associated with the urge to start something new, and if a person is feeling restricted in their relationship, they can abruptly leave. Note that this is only likely if they have doubts about the relationship to begin with. The Progressed Moon spends two to three years in each sign.

This is not the best time to: give ultimatums (unless you want to push your partner out the door).

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers over 19 years of experience in astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying practical astrological analysis to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.


  1. This post is spot-on. My former partner and I could be poster children for what you’ve described. Here’s what was brewing when we broke up earlier this year: his progressed moon had recently gone into Aries (my p-moon had already been in Aries — in my 7th house, no less — for a few months); transit Saturn had entered his 12th house; and transit Uranus was opposing his 7th house ruler Mercury. To top it off, Uranus was conjunct my natal Mars.

    This is where I’ve found astrology to helpful. The universe was telling us that our time together must come to a close. When there are so many converging indicators — like the ones this article describes — astrology can become the tool that helps us read the handwriting on the wall. Thanks to astrology, I don’t take things quite so personally. That helps ease the sting of loss. The universe had other plans.

    Thanks for another great article, Nadia.

  2. Hi Nadia, for the last transit in your article, uranus, could that apply to composite charts? A transiting Uranus opposing our composite natal venus? but again, uranus doesn’t necessarily signal breakups but also a transformation?

  3. Hi Nadia, this is brilliant! Its so useful to think not only in terms of a partner but also one’s own limits as a partner. Thank you so much. xox

  4. Thank you, Nadia, this has explained a lot. Things have been so confusing lately. Nothing seemed to have really changed between my friend and I, and yet also it had. What I needed to understand is what we are both going through individually and together as friends.

    I went through saturn in my 12H when it was in Libra, and he was there for me. Now he is going through saturn in his 12H and, if I step back and don’t take things personally!, I can recognise some of it and understand how he’s feeling. When I was upset recently when I thought things had ended, I overreacted. What ended was what is no longer valid, an old behaviour pattern that keeps repeating. The answer was to do with healing and I had that insight thanks to uranus/chiron. So interesting!

    I have uranus transiting my 7H. I conveniently forgot how I pulled away from him. I was dealing with my saturn losses but even so. He has a hard aspect with transiting uranus, it is squaring his sun and mars in Cap 2H, or will do soon rather. I think things can be most intense in the run up?

    What confused me was we have been pulling away from each other but also we are still there for each other and can count on each other. There’s a greater depth but we both need more space, if that makes sense. My instincts and intuition have been trying to guide me correctly, but it’s hard to have faith without at least some evidence. Really appreciate this post. It confirms to me I really can just simply trust my heart. 🙂

  5. Wanted to ask about something, if it’s possible, about my friend’s chart? Transiting saturn in scorpio is conjunct his natal uranus and his AC. Directly opposite is his natal moon in taurus 6H conjunct his DC. His natal uranus trines his sun and mars in Cap 2H. But also in Cap is transiting pluto and that’s squaring transiting uranus!

    What might this mean? I have a feeling I need to prepare for something, like maybe he’s going to need my help. My instincts say some sort of breakdown, but maybe I’m overreacting. I’m a bit worried anyway. Thanks again.

  6. Great information. I have a Pisces Moon but strong Mars so the Aries/1st transit was interesting to learn about.

    I have experienced Saturn square Moon as feeling unsupported or can’t get (Saturn) what you want (Moon). I wonder if a Saturn transit that trines Moon is a period of getting what you want, the time to “go for it” in life. Do you think a square in synastry that becomes a trine in composite means you can ultimately be supported in that relationship?

  7. Thank you Nadia for talking more about progressions and transits.

    What could be the probable scenario when progressed Venus quincunxes natal DC/Juno/Saturn, while transiting Uranus quincunxes natal AC/Venus?

    What is your general approach to transiting and progressing quincunxes?

  8. oops! not trine, I meant sextile. natal uranus in 12H sextiles his sun and mars in Cap 2H. 🙂

  9. @Judy
    Thanks for sharing those examples, but I’m sorry to read about your relationship. Endings are never fun, even if the time has come.

  10. @selina
    Composite charts are different, because it’s the energy affecting the relationship. But the same rules apply…don’t try to lay down rules. Yes, Uranus is the energy of change, but freedom comes first.

  11. @amy
    You’re welcome! 🙂

  12. @Kisses
    Saturn conjunct his Uranus and AC will mean he’s probably feeling quite restricted by this new phase of his life. Can’t say if there will be a breakdown, but he’ll certainly be feeling pressure.

  13. @Leo
    A square in synastry (from Saturn) that becomes a trine in the composite suggests restrictions placed on one person by the other may (in the relationship) prove to be stabilizing. But it probably won’t be an emotionally demonstrative relationship.

  14. @marion
    Quincunxes demand adjustment, but that can sometimes look like an “impossible choice”. A no win situation. Nonetheless, you need to find a way to adjust the energy of your natal planet/asteroid (that’s being hit) with the transiting planet.

  15. Thanks, Nadia.

    Also, interesting question by @Leo re saturn square moon. My friend’s saturn squares my moon in synastry, but in the composite, it becomes a sextile. I imagine the same applies as above?

    His saturn also squares my venus in synastry, but in the composite they are exactly conjunct at 10 deg in a stellium in 2H where it also conjuncts comp sun and mercury and neptune. I wondered about that. Our natal saturns oppose.

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