Chiron Contacts in Synastry: Pain Is Just the First Step

Chiron/planet contacts are some of the most complicated in synastry. Chiron’s association with pain and healing adds poignancy to a relationship; there’s a sense of great possibility, combined with the threat of being hurt. And someone will get hurt. Chiron is based on a wound, and if another person’s planet activates it, some pain is inevitable. But Chiron contacts don’t work in the same manner as other interaspects, meaning who feels what is not straightforward. Much depends on how the Chiron person is dealing with their wounds, and how the planet person deals with vulnerability.

Before we look at some examples, here’s a brief overview of what natal Chiron represents. Known as the “Wounded Healer,” this planetoid (small planet) shows where you feel the most weakness, insecurity or pain. It goes beyond Saturn fear, or Pluto survival, and describes where you feel you are lacking, awkward, or simply not as good as everyone else. Sometimes it can indicate a physical disability. That’s the wounded part. The healing part happens when you confront your sore spot. There’s a misconception that you can neatly do away with Chiron’s wounds; you can’t. It’s the wound that never, completely heals. But that’s Chiron’s power, because once you get a handle on why/how it hurts, you can take that energy and help other people. Think of it as the “Wounded Healer and Teacher.” With the empathy and depth you achieve from dealing with your Chiron wound, there’s the potential to guide others, and help them master that same area. Chiron in your chart is where you can show others how to excel, in ways you don’t excel (because your wound will always hobble you). Sounds thankless, but it’s not. People who truly own their Chiron are amongst the most compassionate, healing and magnetic individuals that you’ll ever meet. Magnetism is an important part of the Chiron package.

So that’s the Chiron basics. Now, imagine meeting someone whose planet(s) trigger your Chiron. Chiron contacts are not strictly sexual/romantic (they can often be found between the charts of close friends) but for the purposes of this article we’ll assume that a romantic attraction already exists.

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Person A’s Chiron in 7th House Aries Conjunct Person B’s Moon

Abeba has the Wounded Healer in her house of committed relationships. Being a partner is a sore spot for her. How/why it’s a sore spot is described by the sign her Chiron is in: Aries, the sign of identity and will. This could manifest in a few ways, but she’s probably not great at maintaining her identity in a relationship. Maybe she always puts her partner first, or feels really awkward when she tries to do her own thing (like she doesn’t know how to balance her sense of self with her partner). Compromise in general is a mystery to her, so she errs on the side of sublimating herself to the relationship. She’s always felt that everyone else had the inside scoop on how to “be” a partner, but there was something wrong with her.

She meets Joseph, and his Aries Moon conjuncts her Chiron. There is instant magnetism between them, because Chiron/Moon conjunctions seem to awaken the sense (in both parties) that healing and comfort is available through the other person. While that doesn’t sound very sexy, it can be incredibly potent. Joseph feels that Abeba has something to teach him about relationships (remember Chiron’s teacher side — the vibe is there, even if the Chiron person is not anywhere close to being a teacher) and Abeba may feel that it’s safe to trust Joseph (his Moon brings the promise of nurturing). When she’s with him (initially), she no longer feels like an outsider in the world of romance. The Chiron person often opens the planet person up (without trying), so Joseph may feel more vulnerable with her than he has with other women. Keep in mind that all this is happening on a level that goes beyond intellect. They just feel the pull, and want more.

How the rest of this goes down depends on how Abeba and Joseph handle the intense needs they bring out in each other. As the relationship progresses, Joseph’s impulsive, aggressive way of expressing his feelings will trigger Abeba’s relationship wounds. She may start asserting herself in the face of his Aries Moon. Or, she may find that she’s not ready for him, and pulls away. Every time he expresses an emotion, it just reminds her of how inadequate she is in relationships. Joseph may handle his increased vulnerability (in the face of her Chiron) by putting up his Aries defences; he fights back, hurting her even more. Or, he may dive in with full-on enthusiasm, learning how to express himself with a balance of courage and empathy. It could be a bold, passionate new world for both of them. Or, it may just feel too raw.

Person A’s Chiron in 2nd House Gemini Opposite Person B’s Mars

Stacey’s Chiron, in her 2nd House of security, has always made her feel as if she doesn’t have enough of anything. Part of this is due to her personal logic (Gemini) that she doesn’t deserve to have emotional and financial security. But also she has difficulty communicating (Gemini) what she needs (2nd House). Somehow, her ideas come out wrong. This also applies to her sexual needs. Ismail’s Mars in Sagittarius falls in her 8th House (of intimacy) and opposes her Chiron. His expansive, enthusiastic (Sagittarius) way of expressing his energy and sexuality (Mars) is unnerving for her, but also irresistible. When he wants something (including her) he just goes for it. No worries, no inhibition. Stacey is envious of his ease, attracted to his energy, and insecure (every time they get together). He triggers so many “what ifs”; what if he thinks her desires are wrong/silly, what if he changes his mind about her, what if she changes her mind about him? She also feels like she’s under attack. He’s so pushy and just does what he wants (although he thinks he’s just being his normal, optimistic self).

On Ismail’s side, he’s attracted to Stacey because he feels like she just “knows something.” He senses the potential behind her fears, some mysterious key that could open things up for him (not just sexually, but in his life). There’s something to be explored here, and he charges after it. Unfortunately, the more he charges forward, the more Stacey feels scattered, nervous and unsure about what they’re doing together. She hesitates, and he gets angry. Eventually, he tires of constantly feeling like every move he makes is wrong. Being with Stacey is simply too much of a hassle, so he runs away.

While oppositions between one person’s Chiron and another person’s Mars can be quite difficult, there is always potential to make it work. However, Stacey will have to deal with her shifting ideas about — and hesitancy to articulate — what she deserves. She can learn to be more accepting of herself with Ismail, and more direct. She can teach Ismail about awareness towards other people’s ideas (maybe his bold approach isn’t always the right way). And, he can learn to communicate his desires, rather than simply charge forward in a blaze of enthusiasm.

The pain, healing and teaching that occur with Chiron/planet contacts go both ways (assuming both parties are ready to learn). But in order to get past the stage of “this hurts too much,” the Chiron person must deal with her or his pain. And the planet person must be prepared to make some changes as well. No matter what happens, the depth and magnetism of these connections is unmistakeable. Both partners will feel it on a profound level.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers over 19 years of experience in astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying practical astrological analysis to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.
 

Comments

  1. Nadia,
    I’ve got a scenario similar to the one you described – 7th House Chiron and 7th House Moon. The orb is 8 degrees but it’s an applying aspect (Moon is behind).

    The difference is the sign – Taurus.
    How might this be playing out? I’m still not sure what my wound is.

  2. i have chiron at 25 degrees taurus in my 5H. i have been known to help teach people how to be a good caregiver of children, i love kids and used to work with them miss it a lot (i also have venus in 5H, in gemini) i really want children and sometimes worry about whether i’ll get to experiencing having one. my currently off partner has his sun at 2 degrees Gemini in my 5H (conj my venus). 7 degrees apart in a different sign.. but same house… i have had much sacrifice and pain, lessons to learn, healing involved in our partnerhsip… ive brought him healing as well… much of his pain involves his child… and much of our sacrifice is because of his child.
    he also has his mercury at 18 degrees taurus, so again 7 degrees from my chiron, still in my 5H (mercury also rules my 7H, and hes a gemini).
    i try to focus on the positive attributes of chiron, the healing capabilities of someone who owns their chiron, like you said…

  3. Hi Nadia,

    What about Chiron/ascendent aspects (asking because AC is not a planet)? My 5th house 25° Taurus Moon/Chiron conjunction is conjunct my partner’s 26 Taurus AC in his 12th house. (And, his 12th house Taurus Chiron is opositd my Scorpio Sun. What does Chiron/AC contact look like?

  4. Hi Nadia,
    I hope all is well with you!

    What orb do you give these contacts in synastry? And, how can squares be resolved?

  5. MajjikMoon says:

    What does it mean when your 1st house chiron in Pisces contacts anothers MC NN in Pisces? Run and hide??? Doesn’t sound like much fun for either party…or a lifelong mission to heal..

  6. @H
    Taurus is about values, self-esteem, feeling secure and having “enough”. Making something tangible and preserving it. Any of those themes might be involved in your relationship wounds.

  7. @jgirl
    Thanks for sharing your examples…

  8. @megan
    The AC is your partner’s identity, and how he presents himself to the world. Those parts of him may trigger your Chiron wounds and he may feel awkward about being himself in public around you. Or you may be able to teach him to be “himself” more authentically so he feels better about himself when he’s with you.

  9. @Novlady
    I use tighter orbs…5 degrees max (but there’s always a bit of wiggle room). There’s no general statement on how squares to Chiron can be resolved; it all depends on the houses/signs involved. Squares create tension, and the specific area of tension is what needs to be addressed.

  10. @MajjikMoon
    It sounds pretty positive to me. Your healing is involved with their future, their evolution can be helped by you, as you address your Chiron wounds (as long as you don’t let your doubts hold them back).

  11. Hi Nadia,
    Thank you for he article which reflects another topic I am very interested in. The most exact aspect I have with my bf is Chiron square Venus. My Chiron (Aries/10th) squares his Venus in Cancer / 8th house. His natal Chiron is in Taurus / 7th. As Venus is the ruler of Taurus as well as of the 7th house I assume it might be a repeated / important theme for him in our relationship but I can’t grasp yet what it is resp. what that square might mean. Can you give any clue?

    Thanks 🙂
    Nanea

  12. Hi Nadia, thanks for this article.
    My Chiron is in my 7th house Gemini 28.20R and I have this feeling of inadequacy in relationships and how to express myself, especially with men. Does this mean I’m cursed forever in relationships?

    Selene

  13. @Nanea
    You might look at how your career or attitudes towards achievement/status impact what he shares with you (and vice versa). The big issues for him will be around equal, balanced sharing and fears/insecurities about that.

  14. @Selene
    No, of course it doesn’t mean you’re “cursed”. I just means you need to address why you feel inadequate, and how you can work on balancing things out between you and potential partners.

  15. @Selene
    There is no aspect in the natal chart…no matter how daunting or difficult…that cannot be dealt with. I understand that Chiron in the 7th can feel very discouraging in regards to relationships, but know that there is always room to work with it.

  16. Thanks Nadia

  17. mmmandeee says:

    I have a 10th house chiron in aries conjunct his 8th house moon in aries. He has a 5th house chiron in capricorn conjunct my 7th house moon in capricorn. It’s a mutual conjunction. I know that this is very significant but don’t know why. Any ideas, Nadia? Thanks.

  18. Some astrologers believe that if there are any difficult aspects between Chiron and Saturn in synastry then the relationship is doomed and a heart break will occur. Is it possible to work through these aspects or does the relationship always end?

  19. Jason Matthews says:

    Nadia,
    Have you ever used Chiron in a combined relationship chart? I have found that Chiron shows how well both people will cope and aspects to Chiron shows how both people react to each other, in ways related to the aspecting planet. I just wanted to get your thoughts on the matter as well.
    -J

  20. Hi Nadia,
    I have just discovered that both my parents have their Chiron in Scorpio, one 6 degs, the other 8 degs, both conjunct my Scorpio Midheaven at 8 degrees. I have separated from family due to chronic dysfunction. I am in my mid forties (mid life transits etc!!) and have found it so very hard to change careers and find stable employment, over three years now with casual work. To notice their chiron (wound) on my MC (place in the world) has startled me. Can you offer any insights here please or any ways to work this? Many thanks x

  21. Hi Nadia,

    I have learned so much from you, thank you! I have a dear friend of 15 yrs. We seem to be trying to establish a relationship now, although it’s tricky. Lots of baggage on both sides. We are digging into this now, and it’s really uncomfortable. Our synastry has his venus conjunct my chiron in my 1st, and my venus conjunct his chiron in his 9th. Our composite has venus conjunct chiron exact in the 11th.

    Is this just too much pain on the horizon, then? Or is there a capacity work through those wounds together? I’ve read opposing viewpoints.

    Thank you again.

  22. Such an excellent, good quality text, Nadia. Chiron is so important in the personal charts as much as in comparisons. Your text is spot on with the kind of work I have been doing with therapeutic astrology. Well done! Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  23. Thank you so much for this article !

    Initially I was looking for “Chiron in partner’s 7th house” but I’ve been able to understand a few things thanks to this !

    An enthusiastic first-time reader. *Inserts flower emoticon*

  24. avesome Nadia superp …..I got this, his moon Capricorn conjunct my Chiron, true node, mean node 8 house both 8 house

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