The Seventh House North Node: If Relationships Are Your Destiny, Why Are They So Hard?

Seventh House North Node

Photo by TatyanaGl copyright iStockphoto

The North Node is considered by some to represent your destiny. It indicates (through its house and sign position) what you’re meant to do in this life. For those of you with the North Node in your Seventh House of relationships, this must mean that having one (or more!) committed partnerships is part of your destiny. If this is so, why are committed relationships such a challenge?

North Node and South Node

Let me clarify what the North Node actually means: it’s your path of evolution. It describes the behavior and actions you can take in this lifetime to reach your full potential. I say this lifetime, because its opposite point (the South Node) represents past life conditions that influence your default behavior (in this life). South Node behavior is comfortable because you’ve been there, done that. But it can be limiting, if you never move beyond it. This is key to understanding the North Node; it represents situations that are uncomfortable, because they are brand new.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers over 19 years of experience in astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying practical astrological analysis to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.


  1. Ooohhh. Would you be able to write a series on the NN in every house? (Crosses fingers)

    I have a NN in Cancer, but it is in the 4th house. Double cancer power there! In my natal chart my moon opposes uranus (out of sign) and squares mars). So, I have been embracing lunar archetypes and nurturing myself felt new territory for awhile. My Sun trines my North Node while Jupiter/Pluto Square it. I find it intriguing that my Sun (ego and life force) supports my Lunar path toward evolution (since my moon has some dynamic aspects). With my natal Sun in the 7th, I’ve been interpreting it as the more I support other people’s life force and journeys and balance my own growth with the same nurturing- then I am headed into true success, however foreign or unfamiliar.

    On another note…My Venus is in Capricorn so I find it interesting when a personal planet is similar to your south node (even if it does not make aspects to it).. Do you look at what gifts your SN has offered and help that to boost your Venus love potential or is that SN familiarity something to move past? I like reading when astrologers don’t completely disqualify SN lessons and gifts?

    Also, I have found situations where my NN falls into someone’s 7th. Once it was with a Cancer DSC guy and he said very early that he felt we could learn alot from each other, but the repulsion was as equal as the attraction (for me, for sure). It seems that NN lessons can feel empowering or terrifying depending on where you are, as you have mentioned. I have also read that most people start encountering their NN lessons more intimately after the age of 30.

  2. wait a second, so this guy i know has his moon in cancer in the 6th house, and his north node is in cancer in the 7th, and my sun is in cancer 2 degrees off his north node, plus my sun, venus and mars fall into his 7th house. aswell as my mercury and venus are conjunct his moon. are you saying hes repulsed and attracted to me? this whole repulsion aspect sorta really bothers me.

  3. My sun is in Leo (7th); Merc in Leo; Venus in Ca on 7th house cusp. I’m Cap rising w/ Saturn in Aqu in house 2. Vir Sellium (Uranus, Pluto, Mars); Moon in Libra in the 9th. Thank you for posting this article. It is helpful for me as I am starting to look at (all) this and try to use this info to assist me in improving my patterns of relating. Any suggestions you have for me regarding NN, 7th house etc and my chart would be appreciated.

  4. Dear Nadia,
    I love reading your articles and learn a lot from them. I am usually to shy to comment on your articles because of my English but this time it is about a topic I have been struggling with and trying to figure out for a long time. My own NN is in Aquarius in the 7th House. Committed relationships are a big challenge for me indeed and I have not been in one for over 10 years. It would be immensely helpful for me if you could give me some hints what other parts of my chart could help me with that challenge. Until now I have failed to find the key.

    Uranus as the new ruler of my NN is in my 4th House opposing my sun (ruler of the SN) in the 10th (in Aries). My sun also makes a square to my AC/DC (Cancer/Capricorn).

    My NN makes a trine to my moon (Aries, 10th) and to my Pluto (Libra, 4th) as well as a sextile to its old ruler Saturn in Gemini, 11th. That Saturn conjuncts my Venus. As Saturn is also the ruler of my 7th house it is kind of a double whammy. Relationships do not come easily to me.

    I do not know what to make out of it. I feel that I have still not found the task of my sun but at the same time it seems that developing my sun will contradict the task of my NN. What do you think? What does a 7Th House NN in Aquarius mean anyway? Having ‘free’ relationships? But then again my DC and my Saturn conj. Venus want stability, loyalty and commitment. I would be very happy if you could shed a bit light on my dilemma.

    Thanks a lot and greetings from Germany

  5. Just realised my mistake:
    My NN of course makes a sextile to my moon and a trine to my Saturn (not the other way round) 🙂

  6. Hi Nadia,

    My north node is in Libra, in the fourth house, and I definitely relate to this article! Committed relationships have always been challenging for me, as I always feel like I have to give up a large part of who I am in order to keep them going. With both Venus and Moon in Virgo, I probably also tend to be a little too critical, always seeking a “perfect” union that I know intellectually doesn’t really exist.

    Currently my progressed Sun is transiting my North Node, so things have been heating up more than ever in this area. I’m thinking that this might be an opportunity to finally deal with all this and be more able to make that evolutionary progression. Hope so!

  7. @ame

    I had a particular experience where my NN fell in a guys 7th house and I experienced attraction and repulsion in equal measures. I don’t think that is going to be the same for everyone with this aspect. I think it depends on where people are in the learning NN journey. My NN in cancer fell in his cancer DC where he had Saturn there. Saturn there may have affected things, as well as other chart dynamics. I just remember thinking that my NN in his 7th house does not necessarily mean that he would learn about healthy relationships WITH me, but that our experience (however brief) could impact him in that area. I’ve learned that learning NN lessons, even through someone else, aren’t necessarily pleasant (they don’t have to horrible either…its just where you are at).

    In Jan Spiller’s book on Nodes in partner’s houses, she mentions (for example) that having someone’s NN in your 8th house could teach you about intimacy. Now that could mean by an actual intimacy exchange…or the withholding of it. I feel like the more you are intimately working with your own NN and its related matters, the more that affects the kinds of experiences you encounter on its journey.

  8. thanks nov lady, that makes more sense to me, i can imagine how saturn would have that effect. thank you 🙂

  9. @Novlady
    Let me ask Jeff about the NN in each house articles.
    What you do with your SN really depends on how it’s aspected. Sometimes the ruler of the NN is conjunct the SN…so then the SN energy has to be applied to the NN (this can be a confusing one). But the SN is never discounted…it will always be a strength because it’s familiar. The problems arise when people remain dependent on it and don’t move past it.
    Some people confront their NN lessons early on in their lives, but for the most part, the older you are the more “ready” you are to receive those lessons.

  10. @ame
    When I say repulsion, I don’t mean physical repulsion. He could be very attracted to, but if he has not worked through his NN issues, you could also trigger anxiety in him.

  11. @lish
    What sign is your NN in?

  12. @Nanea
    Thank you.
    7th House NN in Aquarius, ruler Uranus in 4th House, opposite your 10th House Sun. Defining your own version of security (4th House) through relationships. It doesn’t necessarily mean free relationships, but it does mean coming to terms with your desire for stability versus instability at home (Uranus in the 4th). Also, learning to develop a relationship with a partner (at home) as opposed to basing all your goals/purpose on public image (Sun in the 10th).

  13. @Limerence
    Prog Sun trine your NN certainly sounds like a good opportunity. 🙂

  14. @Nadia Gilchrist
    Hmmm…now you have given me something to think about! How the ruling planets of the nodes interact by aspect! Very fascinating.

    I enjoy when you write series in addition to your insightful articles. They are very enlightening and become a teaching tool on how to interpret astrology from various angles.

  15. Oops, I meant to say my progressed Sun is conjuncting my NN, which is also conjunct my IC. Crazy times!
    Thanks for another enlightening article Nadia!

  16. NN is in Cancer; Venus 23 deg Cancer (6th); Vir Sellium (8th)

  17. @Lish,
    NN in Cancer, ruler Moon in Libra in the 9th: finding nurturing relationships that balance your needs with another’s. But they need to be relationships/partners that teach you something (9th House). Move beyond your comfort zone a bit and explore different cultures/philosophies/ideals. Open your mind and emotions (look beyond your own needs).

  18. hi im a sagittarius my nn is in pisces sn in virgo, my venus is in scorpio , why are all my r/ships with men so difficult and mostly always end in heart break for me please could you help me to shed some light on this , was told by a psychic this that i came back in this life time to learn heartache but i learnt it over n over would be very greatful love n light x

  19. @lisa
    What house is your NN in?

  20. My retro, intercepted NN in Virgo conjoined with Pluto/Venus is square Gemini Moon/Mars. Natal Merucry is in Leo/6th house. Any info on interrcepted NN’s?

  21. hi my nn is in pisces, sn is in virgo my venus is in scorpio, am aware my journey is spiritual its very hard my relationships dont seem to work out am looking up the 12 house to see what it all means its all very complex hope you may be able to shed some light on it all for me love n light

  22. my norh node is in pisces x

  23. My NN in Sag falls into my seventh house due to retro planets in my natal chart putting planets in multiple houses. However, I just realized that the feeling of giving yourself to another was experienced a couple of years ago with a Sag Mars directly conj my NN. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why I was giving him accesses to my resources and my time which I’ve always held very dear and yes, I’ve been EXTREMELY commitment phobic. Long story short, he ran and never came back. He looked back for an entire 2 year span, but couldn’t bring himself to actually re-engage. I finally got that the lesson was mine to learn and move on with all of the beautiful lessons of love I learned.

    I haven’t been in an actual committed relationship in over 9 years. I’m headed up to 10 and if that ends up being the case, so be it. I was married once for a very short 3 month period. 3 months was more than enough time for me. lol Marriage is no joke (Venus in Cap). Thank you for highlighting the major issue as to why I’ve always known that to be in a committed relationship is my destiny and that something beautiful/miraculous will come out of it. I’m just scared as hell to get into one.

    Fast forward two years and I’ve fallen for yet another guy. Who falls deeply in love twice within a 3 year period? That’s just not fair. Anywho, his Gem Moon is directly conjunct my SN, but instead of falling in the 7th house, it’s in the 1st house. Does this mean that the hurt from the NN experience has caused me to regress and my heart/mind has picked someone who seems more familiar to my past soul experience? I didn’t even notice the NN/SN direct conjunct until I read this article. Thank you SO much!

    I’m just trying to figure out why I’m repeating similar energy with this guy as I did the last one. The funny part is…you’re going to find this amusing as all get out. So this is all axis related, right?

    The NN guy wanted a committed relationship with me with all the trimmings, but couldn’t grip the emotional energy between us. It was overwhelming. I get it. He had access to everything, but took very little. Extremely little. On the other end of the axis, the SN guy is extremely emotional about everything between us, loves indulging in the emotional aspect of it all, doesn’t want to have a committed relationship with me, but honestly feels like he needs me or his life will crumble. He wants EVERYTHING and doesn’t hesitate to ask me for anything that he wants. lol I find it hilarious. SMH

  24. Sorry…typo. Your article finally helped me realize why I wanted to give myself completely to another with the NN/Mars in Sag conj. Oh…btw…I was 35 when I met him so I was primed for the life lesson.

  25. Sacred Geometry says:

    Hi Nadia,
    Interesting article…I too have N. Node in my 7th house Gemini. I’ve read before that the N.N is the soul’s learning path this lifetime, and I feel that strongly with a resistance and yearning similtaneously with this house placement.
    My experience with this has been to develop a strong sense of who I am to bring into a relationship, and to know boundaries( 4th house Pisces) and balance. It has not been easy. My default is always to fall back into thinking that being alone is easier and destiny is a life on a moutaintop as a monk or nun! (S. Node) .
    My question is; What is the significance in synastry when two people’s N. Nodes each fall in the other’s 7th house? ( Composite Sun in 7th also).

  26. Thanks for your article, which I found in the middle of a South Node in Sag funk.

    My North Node is in my 7th house (10 Gemini), but since my 7th house begins with at 17 Taurus, wouldn’t the house ruler be Venus? She’s afflicted in my 10th house, part of my mutable t-square, beset by opposing Saturn, Moon & Chiron in Pisces/4th, squaring Jupiter at 24 Gemini/8th, and just separating from the Uranus and Pluto conjunction in Virgo. Would it be right to say that I see committing to someone as threatening to my quest for public recognition? With the Saturn, the Moon and Chiron at the bottom of my chart in Pisces, at first I give (too) much, then pull back, never achieving any kind of equilibrium.

    Sometimes I think I’ll never create a relationship that lasts and try to accept that this is my path. Other times the loneliness is overwhelming. During the Venus transit in Gemini, I rekindled a long distance conversation with a Taurus Sun & Mars /Pisces Moon/Venus Gemini man whom I first met during the 2004 Venus transit in Gemini. Recently he mentioned off-handedly a job opening in his town, and all those feelings (“I’m not moving somewhere because of some guy”) popped up again. Of course I’ve done so in the past and been disappointed. Lately I’ve been wondering whether I should stop looking for emotional security in a relationship and instead focus on what any relationship has to teach me. Could that be a way out of this maze?

  27. My sweetheart of nearly four years used to hold me at a greater, cooler distance. She used to fear about getting romantically attached to someone. She has Sun, Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter in Aquarius in her fourth house which conjuncts my Juno in Aquarius in my fourth house. She also has independent, restless, roving, freedom loving Moon, Mars, Saturn, and Uranus in Sagittarius in her and my second house. She said that she was terrifyingly attracted to me in the beginning even though I was the complete opposite of people she dated (I have Sun & Venus in Libra in 12th: pretty innocent, virginal, celibate, and spiritual until this Aquarian showed me a whole world of physical intimacy or sex LOL) but learned to let me in closer and be vulnerable enough to be loved.

    She’s opened up so much (sharing vulnerabilities, insecurities, fears, and past hurt: her mother left her the day when she was very young which shook her world and made it difficult to develop a bond or trust anyone to stay around for the long haul: Moon conjunct Uranus) and a loving relationship evolved from our friendship over time. She has North Node in Taurus in the 7th house which conjuncts my Moon in Taurus in my and her 7th house (we’re both Scorpio risings and our houses are in the same order). My patience and emotional stability to just be there over time helped me become her first, serious long-term romantic partner. She has dated so many others in the past but I think they were pretty fleeting, experimental, and abrupt (very unstable and thrill seeking Aquarian).

    My NN is in Aries while my South node is in Libra. She’s taught me to love myself more, be more independent, accept and be myself instead of changing myself to please others. She has told me to please myself first and don’t change for anyone because she sees and appreciates my Sun and Venus in 12th house. She helped me develop self confidence and go after my desires and dreams instead of living for others’ approval which plagued me in the pa?st. I felt threatened by her uber independence and need plenty of space eight planets in Aquarius and Sagittarius ways but was still attracted and awed by it which is something I’ve learned to admire as I’ve learned to work towards my NN in Aries.

  28. Dakota Detrick says:

    Oh dear god! This explains everything! No wonder I have such a hard time with relationships ;-; My north node is virgo and I have a virgo sun, aquarius rising, and libra moon. My libra gets so lonely D: sometimes I think people ignore me so my scorpio in mars gets pissed and I walk away :/ yeah, this article helps a lot
    I’m going to start bettering myself straight away 😀

  29. Dakota Detrick says:

    My south node is in pisces, ruler of Neptune in my 12th house in Capricorn what does that mean? While my north node is in virgo in the seventh house who’s ruler is mercury in the seventh house in Virgo again lol
    So what does it mean, I’m figuring it out myself…but another’s opinion would be most helpful 🙂

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