Every astrology student who’s plagued with a natal square between Venus and Pluto has read about how it indicates obsession, compulsive love, and power games. Those words don’t help at all if you want to effectively handle a Venus-Pluto square. Believe me, I know. I have one natally and have always found those descriptions disheartening—there’s no solution or path indicating a way out. So are we doomed?
Squares are manageable, even if the presence of Pluto complicates matters. In order to learn how, let’s discuss another side of this aspect: love triangles.
In my experience, there is always a third party when Venus Pluto is involved. The third party does not have to be a romantic interest, by the way. It could be a best friend (either yours or your lover’s), a parent, even a job or passionate pursuit. Regardless, the Venus-Pluto native’s lover nearly always chooses the other man, the best friend, or the job over the native.
With enough maturity, you realize that you set yourself up to lose in these situations, albeit subconsciously. Remember, the square represents a conflict. It will play out as you butting heads with someone else, but it always stems from an internal clash, an incorrect belief.
Venus represents what you love and Pluto, your personal power. Venus-Pluto natives secretly believe that you can’t have both love and power; or the best friend and the girl, and so on. You have to choose. Because of the presence of Pluto, you feel that in order to get love, you must cede your intensity and power.
As former tango enthusiast, I’ll use an example from the dance floor. Let’s take a man who’s an accomplished tango lead, but who complains that he never gets the good follows to dance with him. Now, the custom in tango is that the man asks a woman to dance by first scoping her out from across the dance floor and making eye-contact. If she’s interested, she’ll nod subtly and only then will he actually approach and ask for a dance. A Venus-Pluto guy would worry that his eye contact is too intense; he wouldn’t hold the gaze long enough for the woman to realize he’s interested. Worried that he’s overwhelming her, he’d actually give her the idea that he doesn’t deem her a good enough dancer! On some level, he’s aware of his own power and immediately plays it down. Unfortunately, this gives lesser leads—his rivals—the upper hand!
So, you give away your power to the rival. This is done in two ways: by not acknowledging your real talents; and by choosing someone who won’t value you from the start. The solution for Venus-Pluto is to stop slumming. You can’t be responsible for everyone’s feelings. Don’t make yourself smaller so that the little guys feel big. Ironically, as soon as you accept your intensity, you lessen its sting. Then you will discover that the right people for you are unfazed by your power. As you become at ease with your potential, you will attract a partner who’s not afraid of his own power and so can handle yours.