Venus opposite Saturn is considered by some to be a dealbreaker in synastry. But even the harshest aspects have an upside, and so much depends on the natal charts of the two people involved. This is definitely a challenging aspect, but it does not have to mean the relationship is doomed.
What does Venus opposite Saturn mean, exactly? The way the Venus person relates and expresses their love triggers fear, disapproval and/or obligation in the Saturn person. The way the Saturn person expresses their boundaries triggers resentment, rejection and suppression in the Venus person. But underneath this is the potential for an incredibly strong bond. Any Saturn contact in synastry indicates commitment. The Saturn person will always take the relationship seriously, and the Venus person will feel that they can depend on them. The key is overcoming the polarizing effects of the opposition. How to do this? Oppositions involve two signs on the same axis, so they do have something in common. Both signs are striving towards the same goal, they just approach it differently. Let’s look at some examples.
Kim has Venus in nurturing Cancer. She’s been seeing Matt for one year and shows her love by mothering him. She asks him if he’s OK at least once a day, and knows when something is bothering him. She’s always ready with hugs, encouragement, and home-cooked meals. Matt’s Saturn in Capricorn opposes her Venus. He is dependable, always there for Kim when she needs her taxes done. But when he gets depressed, Matt needs to withdraw so he can work things out by himself. He stops answering the phone, and won’t reach out until he’s ready. Kim feels rejected, and when they finally do get together, she pouts and sulks. Matt finds this all very childish and doesn’t understand why Kim can’t just go off and do her own thing when he’s not around. For her part, Kim wishes that Matt was more demonstrative with his affections.
What is the common ground here? Capricorn and Cancer are traditionalists. Matt takes his relationship with Kim very seriously. He is willing to give her the stability that she craves. His emotional withdrawals are not a rejection of her. If Kim could realize this, she wouldn’t dissolve into a puddle when he puts up his boundaries. And Matt needs to see that complete withdrawal can be distressing for the other person. If he let down his boundaries a little, he may find that Kim’s childish responses lessen.
Maggie has Saturn in Aries. She has a strong (Saturn) sense of self (Aries), and is fiercely independent. She meets Rick, who has Venus in Libra. He charms her, but is so focused on relationships that he has never been single for more than a few weeks. Maggie sees this as a weakness, and it triggers her fear of losing her independence. The attraction between them is strong enough that they start seeing each other anyway. Maggie makes sure that they don’t get together more then once every two weeks, because she has her own life to live. Rick becomes resentful because he wants to spend more time with her. He turns on the pressure in his passive-aggressive way, wondering aloud what it might be like to have a real girlfriend. This makes Maggie defensive and she criticizes Rick, calling him weak. Obviously, this does not go down well with him. They stop seeing each other.
Not a happy scenario, but here is how it might have gone instead. The meeting ground between Libra and Aries lies between self-focus and focus on the other. Maggie definitely knows how to take care of herself, but she could use some pointers on relating to another. Rick excels at partnership, but could use a few lessons in developing a life outside of a relationship. One of Rick’s talents is objectivity. Libra allows him to see both sides of an argument, so he would be able to appreciate Maggie’s point of view if he let go of his resentment. If Maggie allowed Rick past some of her boundaries, she might have experienced this relationship as fun and light-hearted rather than a threat. And her Saturn would have had a stabilizing effect on Rick’s Venus. Neither of these signs gets bogged down in emotion, so the drive to keep moving forward would have worked for both of them.
Venus opposite Saturn is all about boundaries. Saturn needs to realize that Venus is not a threat, and Venus needs to realize that it’s not personal (although it certainly feels like it is). With self-awareness, hard work and willingness to meet each other in the middle, this aspect can produce a steadfast commitment.