We’ve all met people who have hooked us so completely that it felt like we were addicted. When these feelings are reciprocated it can be heavenly and overwhelming. When the feelings are unrequited, it can feel like a special corner of Hell reserved just for us.
Either way, the potential for romantic obsession can be seen in the synastry between two people. As always, everything goes back to the natal charts and the existing emotional make-up of each person. But there are certain synastric aspects that can lead to the kind of intense attachment that spirals out of control.
Pluto and Venus
When one person’s Pluto (control) hits another person’s Venus (attraction), a dynamic of intense revelation is set up. Although the feelings can go both ways, it is usually the Pluto person who experiences the urge to move in and control. The Venus person can feel magnetized, but it’s the Pluto person who is dominant. The easy aspects (trine and sextile) will add some depth and passion to the relationship. It’s the hard aspects (conjunction, opposition and square) that get people into trouble.
Rita has a Scorpio Moon, so Pluto (the ruler of Scorpio) is highly personalized in her chart. Along comes Ryan with his Venus conjunct her Pluto. The way he relates (Venus) to her triggers Rita’s need (Moon) to control and experience things on a deep level (Pluto). She develops a fascination with Ryan and wants to immerse herself in him. He may respond with a blend of attraction and uneasiness (depending on how comfortable he is with Scorpio energy). She pushes past any boundaries he has, because in order to feel safe, she needs to peer into every corner of his life. He can’t hurt her if she knows everything about him. If she’s not careful, Ryan can start to feel like a bug under a microscope.
Pluto opposite Venus can be even more problematic. Let’s say Ned has Pluto conjunct his Sun in Virgo. His drive for perfection (Virgo) is amplified by Pluto, so he is on a never-ending quest to transform himself into someone better. He meets Jeanine, who has Venus in vague, dreamy Pisces. He knows that he can transform her into his ideal partner. He has helpful suggestions on how she should dress, what she should eat, drink and read. The more he tries to “help” her, the more she pulls away. Eventually she becomes frightened and cuts off all contact. Whether or not he gives up at this point depends on his control over his Pluto energies. He’ll push himself to his limit because Pluto transforms through intensity. To Ned, it’s not worthwhile unless he’s going down in flames.