Pluto Relations in Synastry: Part 2 of 2

Pluto in SynastryPlease read Part 1 of this essay first.

Pluto challenges a planet’s strength and integrity. When Pluto touches something in a chart, there is nowhere to hide. Whatever secrets I may have, Pluto will seek them out. Whatever flaws, he will find. If Pluto touches Venus, my values and my self-esteem, and the very way I express my love, will be in question. If Pluto touches Mars, there will be a cutting or burning away to the very essence of desire. Pluto touching Saturn will act like the aforementioned earthquake, tearing down whatever I have built in the house Saturn occupies. With Pluto/Moon contacts, I may well feel that I’m in a struggle for my soul. At the very least, all my previous reference points and security patterns will be threatened. The person with the heavier Pluto influence tends to have the upper hand in relationships, which is why, when I see strong Pluto between charts, I always hope that I see it going both ways. This does, in fact, tend to happen with Pluto, which I find a bit mysterious. It’s as if people who enter into Pluto wrangles have a mutual desire for this kind of intense transformation, and Pluto is their weapon of choice.

Pluto has the tendency to use its penetrating insight as a weapon. Ask anyone who knows someone with Pluto square Mercury. If they’re unhappy with you, they may not say anything for months, and then suddenly unleash a tirade of painful truths that your ten years of analysis wasn’t able to reveal. Pluto to any planet, either natally or between charts, brings this same pattern of silence, observation, analysis, and explosion. They will erupt on you just when you think you’re safe, when you are least able to defend yourself, and often walk away not realizing what they’ve done. Pluto’s powers of observation may be acute, but it’s not the most sensitive or empathetic of energies. Ruthless is the word that comes to mind again.

An unaware Pluto has a number of flaws, chief amongst them the desire and ability to control and manipulate. Pluto often isn’t aware of its power, and will not realize that, from your point of view, your association feels as if you’ve been dropped into the middle of a guerrilla war. Sometimes, they are outright manipulative, and will push your buttons just to see what they can get you to do. Even within a minor aspect between charts, Pluto may try to manipulate the partner’s planet to its own ends. Pluto is always about power, and the undeveloped Plutonian types were often bruised children who have been made deeply insecure. We misuse power when we are trying to redress feelings of powerlessness. Plutonian types have a great deal of charisma, and need to be persuaded to give up these mindless manipulations and focus their power for the good.

When Pluto is involved in a synastry, power is always an issue. Who has it, who uses it, who controls it within the relationship. Outer planets influence inner, but those with the inner planet have the ability to make Pluto sharpen its awareness of the way it operates. The inner planets are not helpless against Pluto’s assault. Because the inner planets are so immediate and conscious, they will have a greater understanding of the way Pluto must transform, and inner transformation is ultimately what Pluto is after (after the death and rebirth, that is). No accident that Pluto is the planet that rules analysis and any other means of self-exploration. Pluto’s attempts to plumb your depths are, in fact, motivated by an intense desire to understand itself. In positive mode, Pluto will take the inner planet by the hand and embark on a mysterious, challenging, sometimes frightening journey towards a greater purity of interaction and intention. The inner planet will provide Pluto with a means and a perspective; Pluto will provide the desire, the drive and the will.

Plutonian relationships aren’t for everyone. If you have a lot of air, or prefer peaceful companionship to having your psyche pulled out and splayed all over the place, I wouldn’t recommend them. If you want passion, if you want intimacy, there are other ways. But Pluto associations are unique in their ability to help us get beyond the surface of the mundane world. Not in a dissolving, Neptunian way, but by means of the deep, chthonian mysteries of the realm of matter itself. If you want company on your journey through your own psychological underworld, Pluto is your man.

This post has been republished by permission of the author and appeared in its original form at The Inner Wheel.

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About Dawn Bodrogi

Dawn Bodrogi has studied astrology since the age of twelve, and has been a practicing astrologer for over twenty years with a special emphasis on synastry. Her studies in Jungian psychology, alchemy, and Buddhist philosophy inform her work. Her upcoming book, The Inner Wheel, takes a new look at interpreting secondary progressions. You can see more of Dawn’s work at her blog, The Inner Wheel: Living with Astrology.


  1. so if my pluto is conjunct a man’s moon and his pluto is conjunct my north node then it will more than likely feel as though we are both fighting for our souls, no? i had this setup with a scorpio i was seeing.

  2. did it feel like that?

  3. What deems a Pluto as powerful? I have pluto in scorpio in a “critical degree” (9). Does the degree and sign play a factor in it’s intensity? And also, my pluto is sextile the sun (virgo) and venus (virgo) of the guy I am seeing. What is the affect of this?

  4. @Sag24/7

    lol! ummm. yes.

  5. @TheSagGirl, that would indicate a strong emotional connection, with a life-or-death type of struggle.

  6. “Plutonian associations aren’t for everyone”-well.I might have chosen it karmically–but not consciously.
    -what if you’re an air sign with a lot of water signs too, as I am?
    And have a stellium in Libra–therefore value fairness and desire peace…but..have Pluto in the 7th(all close & 1:1 relationships, some not even *very* close) and, have Pluto sq. Mercury as well?

    I consciously choose peace and control my tongue these days.
    But for years I was likely to do exactly as decribed.Not say anything,think, observe, analyze, think, analyze and then BLAST-O.

    Until a few years ago I didn’t know either why exactly someone I “blasted” was upset.:-/

  7. If people pissed me off, and I decided that I’ve had enough, I’ll blast them and KNOW that they became upset. You can’t handle my intensity, just get out of my way. I don’t do shallow relationships, let alone idle talk.

    Scorpio 2nd most influential sign in my chart, pluto in Scorpio in 7th house, intercepted house. (8th house is in scorpio as well)

  8. Maragaret, I beleved the same for years–“too bad if they don’t like it when I’ve just had enough”.They’ve pushed me too far etc.

    But while that may be right on behavior occasionally, usually I failed to set limits on my interactions to begin with (somewhere along the line) and didn’t see the other person as being as sensitive as I…or maybe just as deserving as I am.. so I blasted them as if they’d forgeited their right to respectful treatment.

    It’s not all about them, but it’s not all about me either.
    They may be annoying, dead wrong etc, but I may have had expectations of hw they should act, or speak to me also.Therefore I was incorrect too.

    It is rarely true that people aren’t derserving of respect and courtesy, even if I’m pissed off..

  9. I love your comment Karen!

  10. Thank you very much La Quishia! nice of you to say so 🙂

  11. Can you elaborate on “indirectly unseemly”? I think I may get it…

  12. What if you have your Sun (Scorpio) conjunct your Pluto (Scorpio) in your natal chart (10th house), and everyone in your age group has the same degree as Pluto? It seems as though whenever I fall for someone they are already attracted to me then suddenly repulsed, almost as if they got a nasty shock. As for myself, I feel like my very identity is questioned and it really hurts. I can’t help but wonder why? Could my Aquarius Mars (1st house) have something to with it?

  13. Rachel, it could be that most of your peers are not that connected to the Pluto archetype, so when they meet someone who truly channels it (with Sun conjunct Pluto) they may feel magnetically attracted and scared at the same time because it’s not well-integrated in their own lives.

  14. Dawn is actually publishing a post next week that touches on this very subject, so stay tuned.

  15. My 8th house venus is trine my 12th house pluto and is always seeking out these intense relationships – it seems to be the only kind I want.

  16. Jeffrey, I never thought about it like that. Pluto touching my Sun (both on the same degree of 7) is just part of my identity, I would have thought one would become used to it’s energy when it comes from other people since one would constantly surrounded by it (both someone with Pluto conjunct Sun and as well as individuals born on the same year with the same degree). I just assumed that it because I was born on Halloween (yes, really) and that these individuals had some sort of past life with me. And perhaps, my presence brought back unfamiliar feelings (both unpleasant & pleasant), like a ghost with unfinished business.

  17. If someone has Pluto at the same degree but it’s not well-integrated (for example if it’s not strongly aspecting a personal planet) then its energy can be unconscious.

  18. I can see how it maybe unconscious, if that it were the only planet in the natal chart without any strong aspects. In my situation, however, all of these people were Venus conjunct Pluto (both in Scorpio) and were mostly other Scorpios with the exception of one Virgo.

    Would house placements play a factor into this? For the most part, all of these individuals had the majority of their planets in Scorpio & in the 3rd house. Where as mine are mostly in the 10th house & also in Scorpio. So in other words, Scorpios with Gemini traits and a Scorpio with Capricorn traits (also the rule of my Rising Sign).

  19. Andorinha says:

    What a great article. So well written! I’m a taurus sun, mercury and venus and scorpio moon conjunct neptune conjunct asc. It’s intense to say the least….. Met a guy with in a very unexpected way and we had a brief conversation and he gave me his phonenumber.,,,I had no intention to get in touch at all….. His pluto opposite my venus and although I thought I wasn’t attracted towards him because of our difference in age (huge taboo….), I couldn’t forget his piercing eyes so got in touch with him after several weeks and we went out on a date. The attraction was inevitable and mutual and it scares the hell out of me….Anyway I wanted to share this to add my part on Pluto’s way to “show” when least unexpected…..

    (sorry English is not my native language)

  20. Okay, so I have this crazy synastry with my ex, my pluto squares his mars, his pluto squares my venus and mars, along with some other easier pluto contacts. lso, ve conj mars, ve conj saturn. we broke up 2 years ago, he’s in a relationship and is still hung up on me, texting me in the middle of the night etc..we met a couple of times, couldn’t keep our hands of each other. it never ends, although we both tried to keep away from each other, trying to analyze everything rationally, we were not meant to be blah blah, it goes on and on.. we’re not even living in the same town anymore, he’s in a relationship for over a year now. it’s literally driving me insane. don’t know what to do anymore and how to end this for good. plain cruel. does it ever get better or do we have to live with this lingering chemistry for the rest of our lives? :/

  21. @ astra

    It is going on, because you allowing it to go on. IT IS” driving you insane”. You created IT IS. So you are driving yourself insane. Take responsibility. Grow up. The other person – he is also needs to take responsibilty. Both of you are immature, playing victims by outside force like you both do not have nothing to do with is. In this cases mostely the one which decides o take responsibility for own life The of understanding of living your own life: not LETTNG yourself being misguided by own indulgences, weaknesses, lies. So the one, wich decides to live a happy clear life, free of unssessary suffering – breaks free, closes the door. If IT IS still going on, your door is still open. Just stop playing a victim of your own deeds.
    ” lingering chemistry for the rest of our lives? :/” – Beautiful chemistry is given like a gift to make someting beautiful of it. It’s have not been given to suffer because of it. You can not handle, so not…
    It’s a plain simple choice – be in control of your own destiny or yeah continue to suffer ” for the rest of our lives? :/’. Do what needs to be done, otherwise you know very well yourself you will energetically bleed to death by as you said yourself “blah blah blah”. LIfe is not “blah blah blah”. Most of us are talking very hard, and trying very hard. TRying is not DOING. Stop foolling around. Be a wise woman.
    No one will tell you, it’s gonna be all right. You are the one wich have to make it all right.

  22. thanks for your reply, you’re right. but it just seems as it’s never going to stop, like, if we see each other in five years, it’s still going to be the same. and i hate that, i don’t consider myself a weak person, but this is making me see a side of myself i didn’t know existed. and it’s exausting.

  23. O yeah, it is well known place, it is Pluto’s domein ” but this is making me see a side of myself i didn’t know existed. and it’s exausting.” I have been in this place, that’s why i replied to you. It is powerful place, very powerful and dangerous for your psyche. As the article have been said ” Plutonian relations are not for every one”. If you are in it, you have to overcome it, need to find strength. Nothing has come on your path what you can nto handle. But your job is to pay close attention. No one will tell you what to do.
    Pluto has come in to your life. Do not underestimate those powers, but do not be afraid. The most important do not be a slave of the passion, if this passion not have strength of love in it. If you feel unhappy, exhausted as you have said, it’s means that this passion does not juvenize you, but draining your life force. And it’s not right and even dangerous.
    Yep, what you are experiencing is what Greeeks calling EROtA, – phisycal attraction. But if you want real love in your life to come,- and to invite Love in to your life which is Afrodite, strength of the heart is needed. And yeah, are not the world is in shorcoming of it – strength of the heart?

    Look on th card of Devil in Taro and if you wish you might find out something for yourself in interpritations like this about psychology of Pluto interaction and uncontrooled passions. ( a good book)

    And one more thing, Venus does not have to be hurt, ever. If your Venus is hurt by Pluto, it is going the wrong way.
    We are women are stronger, then men. Woman is the one, which leads the relationships with her strength and purity. If man abuses is, he is a weak man, makes you weaker. But , as you said, you are not weak person.
    Do not overestimate what is going on. Learn from it to be in charge of your life, no matter what.
    I wish you well. Hold on, be strong. And smile! All worries are eventually leaving the trace on our faces. So do not worry, be happy, be beautiful. Lighten up and decision will come, but you must willing sincerely to welcome positive changes! Good luck!

  24. thank you Tatyana, i trully appreciate your advice, and will do my best to stay away from all of this obsessive misery, it isn’t worth it. i also hope my ex would finally stop harrasing me, because it’s become morbid. ugh.

  25. Andorinha says:

    In my experience Pluto does have the upper hand when he touches Venus…and although I’m a Taurus with Venus also in Taurus my Scorpio moon and rising sign just found out all the secrets and lies about the guy I fell for…..and it aint pretty…..Pluto’s “face” is NOT pretty….and I would recommend to anyone : just run for your life/sanity or both ….. Just a handfull of people can handle Puto’s power and can transform it into something beneficial…..
    @ Tatyana: you’re so right, women are stronger and an abuser is a weak man…. and yes also true, if a Pluto person is an unaware person (wich is mostly the case) you should think twice about it. Pluto is capable of doing a lot of harm and he’s just plain dangerous and evil in most cases
    Two months has past by now since I met this guy and now found out the truth about him and it’s nasty so beware for unaware Plutonians cause they will lie and cheat in order to get what they want. It easily gets ugly and betrayal, manipulation are Pluto’s tools….
    May God be with you all when you decide to descent to Pluto’s domain…..

  26. @Andorinha

    “Two months has past by now since I met this guy and now found out the truth about him” – that’s pretty quick:) luckily for you. Sorry to hear that, that it’s happend to you.
    Some women stay trapped for years. I have known this Bad boy. A very bad boy 🙂 – Sag male with Pluto in Scorpio in 8th house and Uranus all over him. He seduced an virgin girl, promised to marry her, introduced her to his family…Than treated her poorely, had many others women, than after few years of not knowing how to end it, he just escaped to another country and she tried to commit suicide.

    He told me this story, like he was sorry about it. And yeah….he was very young back then blah blah…
    But i saw a smile on his face, he could not succeed to hide it, it was a little bit dark outside, but i noticed it , his self in love smile and some kind of bad hidden triumph in his voice, when he said that after few years she could not get over him. I said nothing to him, but i understood, that girl was naive. And he was just proud about power he had over her. And she could not get over him – it’s not quite correctly. I think, she could not get over the betrayl.
    I have known him for a while. I saw he was all that dark Plutonian – devious, mischievous, liar, player, user, traitor to other women and even his friends. One friend of him said ones to me, when we together were standing at the party and saw this Bad Boy showing off. He said to me looking at the Bad Boy: ” Yeah, some people think, they have got the power”. I knew this man not very wel , which told me that. I was surprised about his deep insight. To me it was” The Conclusion” about this Bad Boy and dark Plutonian side : ” Some people THINK, they got the power”. But do not know how to use it for good. I also saw, how many many people he knew just accepted it, because he also knew very wel how to be liked, thanks to his Venus conjuction ascendant in Aquarius,- what made him super manipulator.
    It’s a dark path, but it’s also a path. Any way, i have learned alot from this person.

  27. A woman can be Pluto in synastry as well. Not only the men who can be users.

  28. @Sag24/7

    Ooh yeah, no doubt about it, that woman can be a user, or carrying the shadow side of any planetary archetype.
    We have been living for a very long time in patriarchal society ( ruled by male domination). There were times of matriarchal society ( ruled by woman domination). Now, the evolution is changed and we shall transfer to society of No Dominaton by any gender.
    But we not there yet. So i think, that we are hearing now a lot of life stories, when men are the ones which ab/used, betrayed women. As has been said in the article,- the abuse of power is – domination – is the shadow side of Pluto. And in this times males are the ones which are raised with believe, false believe, of course, that they are the ruling gender. It is an energetic distortion, among many others distortions here on Earth.
    And yeah, i know very wel, what you mean, that women can be users. If they are – women – put their sofisticated cold calculating mind set in to it, they can be the best in the games of darkness,”innocent’ pussy cats making everybody do, what they want in an eye blink of their big eyes surrounded with long eyelashes, because they are so helpless in this harsh world and ” is not everyone just pleased to fulfill their wishes?” 🙂

  29. Hi Jeffrey,

    I have a sun-mars-pluto-vertex stellium in the 5th house of Libra. Mars and Pluto are exact. I am twice divorced and have had a lot of unusual relationship trouble in the past. I also seem to somehow scare nice guys away. I have faced emotional abuse in the hands of my parents and some minor sexual abuse as a child.

    My ‘current crush’s Pluto gets into the above stellium of mine. Conjuncts my Sun by 1.5 degrees on one side and conjuncts my mars/pluto by 5 degrees on the other side.
    Also, his Chiron is EXACTLY opposes my mars/pluto conjunction.

    Scorpio is my Dsc sign and His Asc sign. We seem to have great synastry overall. Is he likely to be a ‘healing therapist’ that you talk about or will it more likely be another troubled relationship that goes nowhere?

    Thank you for any insights.

  30. @Tatyana

    same thing here, sag with scorpio pluto, not sure about the house, but it could as well be the 8th. natally venus square pluto, it was all about the power and manipulation. also, he told me all the stuff he did in his previous relationships, they weren’t pretty, and just as you said, i could see a smile on his face, as if they all deserved it. very sadistic and arrogant, and at the same time convinced everbody’s out to get him. had an inexplicable magnetisnm, which drew all the girls towards him, didn’t have to lift a finger to get them, which is fascinating, because he isn’t much of a looker. just that charisma, raw sexual energy and charm, and before you know it – you’re stuck with him. in fact, i was the first girl ever who left him, so i think this is one of the major reasons for his obsession with me, i think he wants to get back at me for leaving him.

  31. @ Astra

    Wow, such a resemblance! Everything you described, all of it: kind of energy, attitude and being the first girl which left and Venus square Pluto as wel.
    It’s your buisness, what to do,- was the same thing, he wanted to get back on me, because i left,- i think it’s the best to not come back, does not matter what he will introduce to you this time ( they are very inventive every time) . I understood one thing, which i consider the most important thing,- is to be gentle with yourself, be good to yourself. Because every energetically negative encounter leaves a scarf, leaves a trace on the heart and body and soul. It’s take time to heal and get dignity back.
    I think it’s better to walk way as far as possible. To such people like we describe,- to give in to them means victory to them. People which do not accept their deeds, but stood up to them face to face, they want to be around with. But i do not believe they will learn to respect another person boundaries, at least not very soon. One day they will learn, but who wants to wait to such miracle to occur?
    I have learned a lot, mainly about myself and that darkness does exist, like Plutonian darkness in this scenario, and you have to be strong, smart, alert and brave to face it. if you know how to handle yourself in Plutonian world, the lessons you learn are precious, but you may not loose yourself,- dangerous.

  32. Thank you for a great article. This reminds me of the unforgettable and most intense relationship I’ve had, it drove me insane with obsession, jealousy and I was literally consumed by it. He has Mars exactly conjunct my Pluto, his Pluto square my Sun and Venus. I tried to walk away but every time I saw him I felt like I couldn’t help falling for him, and there were fireworks when we talked and touched, I never felt the passion like that ever before and couldn’t explain why, I didn’t really understand him because we didn’t really share a lot, it was the passion and obsession that led the way things went. I still feel strongly when thinking about him even though I don’t think it’s love.

    And now, another person has his pluto trine my venus and I can see pluto acts his role again. I feel that guy tends to control me, and the connection is intense again (probably because he has Scorpio rising and my rising is Taurus), and sexual attraction is strong, I just want to keep everything light, at friendship level because he’s married, and he flirts around!!! of course I will never get involved in a relationship with him, but I have to admit I’m obsessed and feel healed by him.

    (Excuse me for my English, I’m not a native English speaker)

  33. glitergirl says:

    In synastry if a mans pluto conjuncts a womans north node what would the relationship be like?

  34. Or a womans pluto conjunct a mans north node, like in my case 🙂 ?

  35. Deb Lippitt says:

    What a very insightful article. Right on about Pluto. The nail on the head.
    I have Mercury in Aquarius (ruler of chart/virgo rising) in Opposition to Pluto.
    I also have a couple of Pluto aspects with my husband. I’m surprised we made it this far..19 years. They say relationships are the quickest and hardest way to spiritual growth.. Did I say hard??haha
    For any interested… We have My Sun (Pisces) in Opposition to my husbands Pluto. And my Pluto is square his Saturn..oh yeah…Saturn is very strong in his chart too.

  36. lauralaurana says:

    What happens when Pluto has no double whammys or are weak (sextiles). My current crush Pluto squares my Sun, Moon and conjunct my NN and Saturn, and sextiles my Mercury. My Pluto only sextiles his Moon and Venus. Does that mean I have to “fight for my soul”? LOL I hope it won´t be that bad, although those squares are no joke.

    About the Pluto/NN conjunction, anybody knows how it works?

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