The Moon and Your Man

Man in front of MoonThe primary reason men enter relationships is to get their emotional needs met. Though this may come under many guises — think the serial dater, the commitment-phobe, the root rat, the womanizer — each one of these men is just trying to get his needs met … and not just the sexual ones.

In the birth chart, the Moon is the main significator of the emotional self. By sign, house placement and planetary aspect, you can determine if a particular guy is on the same emotional page as you. Bridging the gap between the men from Mars and women from Venus mentality is easy when you understand what makes your man tick emotionally!

The element of the Moon will speak volumes about what maketh the man. The Moon will fall under one of the triplicities of Fire, Earth, Air or Water, and will demonstrate what your man needs in order to stay in a relationship.

Fire MoonsAries, Leo, Sagittarius. The element of Fire is about taking action. Fire is passionate, intense and concerned with self-expression and individual identity. Fire signs feel threatened if personal freedoms are hindered or over-the-top boundaries are imposed. Fire Moons dislike being forced to compromise or modify their self-expression. They feel safe and nurtured when allowed to express themselves freely and authentically. Upfront and honest, you’ll always know where you stand with a Fire Moon.

Earth MoonsTaurus, Virgo, Capricorn. Talk is cheap when it comes to Earth Moons. If your man falls under this triplicity, be sure to offer him firm boundaries and a loyal heart — that’s exactly what he’ll offer you. He likes practicality, reliability and lots of physical contact and tangible reassurance. Earth Moons can struggle if they feel pressured to act or make decisions — let him make up his own mind in his own time.

Air MoonsGemini, Libra, Aquarius. These guys operate from the mental, social and intellectual plane, exploring ideas and concepts and making connections. Air Moons feel safe when they have an intellectual rapport with their partner. Reason, intellect and logic rule their emotional sphere, so the exploration or expression of deep emotions are generally lacking in the Air Moon man. If you want a guy who you can talk to and share your thoughts and ideas with, find an Air Moon!

Water MoonsCancer, Scorpio, Pisces. Water Moons yearn for emotional connection and feel loved when they can share their feelings within a spiritually connected relationship. Feelings overrule logic and actions often seem impractical or hasty. Emotions are experienced deeply and intensely, so it may take a Water Moon a little longer to get over a lover’s tiff!

Not sure what sign your man’s Moon is in? Try some DIY astrology at

About the Author

Cassandra Tyndall is an avid professional astrologer based in Sydney, who offers readings to clients locally, interstate and all over the globe. Known for her passion, skill and honesty, Cassandra combines traditional and modern techniques to enhance specific predictions for individuals, couples and businesses. She has been a regular contributor to the annual WellBeing Astrology Guide, and is the resident astrologer for Australia’s Women’s Health & Fitness magazine.

Related: Men’s Moon Signs

Image Credit: © Francesco Carta |


  1. Too true Cass! Too often we get hung up on the sun sign of our man & forget that it is the moon bit that satisfies our emotional needs…

  2. My man is a Virgo Sun, Cap rising with the Moon in Scorpio. It’s very difficult to know how he feels because his exterior is so stern, and his emotions are so tightly held. I have to look for very subtle clues about his true emotions.

  3. Cassandra Tyndall says:


    Let us know your man’s birth data (time to if possible) he may have some funky aspects which throw the Moon off kilter or make the Virgo/Cap stuff extra distant.

    If he is an 80’s baby or a 60’s very early 70’s he may just have Pluto throwing a spanner in the works making his emotions more deeply buried.

  4. My sagitarian man once cheated on me one and a half yrs ago,i am his taurus lover,he promised that he would not cheat ever again,now he is in australia,wil be there for two months and i am in srilanka,IS THERE A POSIABLITY OF MY SAGITARIS MAN CHEATING?

  5. As a relationship astrologer, I feel I should put my 2 cents in here regarding the Moon and men’s emotional needs. While Cassandra is correct up to a point, what I’ve found is that the Moon isn’t the only sign that contributes to what causes a man (or anyone, for that matter) to enter into a relationship.

    As an example, since I’m a Leo Moon, I should be able to get along quite well with a Gemini Moon. And with most Gemini Moons, that is the case: I do get along with them. That is, we get along emotionally, intellectually, and can communicate with ease. However, if I happen to be in a relationship with a Gemini Moon man, things might get a little hairy if, for instance, his Venus (love, values) is in Taurus, whereas my Venus is (also) in Leo.

    Case in point: my ex-husband is a Sun Sign Gemini with a stellium of Gemini planets, one of which is the Moon. Unfortunately, for some reason he didn’t feel he could communicate with me. Additionally, his Venus is in Taurus which squared both my Moon and my Venus in Leo (and actually, my Sun, Mars, Jupiter and Pluto in Leo, as well). Although his emotional needs might have been met up to a point with me (and mine with him), once it came to having his values and his love needs met (which are a great part of our emotional needs), we began having problems. Because our LOVE (emotional) needs were so different, we were having a difficult time making it work.

    Another case in point: I have another friend whose natal chart is uncannily similar to my ex-husband’s, except that his Moon is in Aquarius and his Venus is in Leo. Even though our Moons are in opposition to each other, we get along magnificently. Although we’re not in an intimate relationship, we think, feel and emote very much alike. We enjoy talking to each other and can do so for hours on end. This man actually listens to me, whereas, my husband had an extremely difficult time dealing with emotions, including his own. (This, btw, is typical of most air signs.)

    One last case in point: my last relationship was with someone whose Moon is in Gemini. Even though we’re not in an intimate live-in relationship any longer, we are still very good friends. From the time we first met, we found that we were able to communicate, and that we were intellectually compatibile. Unfortunately, again, because her Venus is in Capricorn, we have two different sets of values and we love in different ways. One of the lines she used to use with me when we were partners, is that she loved me, but not in the way I wanted to be loved. The reason for that is that Capricorn and Leo love in two different ways. Even though they’re not square, they are quincunx, which causes one to see love in a more practical, down-to-earth way, while the other sees roses and romance everywhere, and consequently doesn’t feel as though her emotional needs are being met.

    And that, I find, is the key when it comes to relationships: yes, it is necessary for our Moons to be compatible, but it is also quite necessary for our Venus to be at least sextile, if not trine to our partner’s Venus if the relationship is going to work ‘with ease.’

    This is not to say that even squares and oppositions can’t work. It’s just that it takes quite a bit more effort to grow the relationship with squares and oppositions, and even with quincunxes. And too often — especially when people are young and have no patience or understanding of what is truly necessary to make a relationship work — they give up too soon.

    From my own personal experience and from what I’ve experienced with the relationship situations of my clients and loved ones, it’s necessary to take both your Moon AND your Venus into consideration when determining emotional compatibility in a relationship.

    Kat Starwolf

  6. Kat.. if my moon is in capricorn and my bf’s is in libra, would it be impossible for us to make the relationship work on a long term, even if we have venus in scorpio (me) trine venus in cancer (him) ? i do feel that he needs more of an intellectual rapport with his partner, whereas i’m a more hands-on type of girl and need more physical reassurance.. sometimes i just feel like.. “shut up and kiss me already!!!” i feel like we’re very attuned physically, but there’s somewhat of an emotional barrier between us i can’t quite figure out yet.. could we possibly meet half-way? pls help. thank u

  7. Hi Loreley,

    I believe that it’s possible for any relationship to work — provided that both partners are willing to put forth the effort.

    But, how does one deal with the emotional ‘barrier’ that air signs erect, especially if you’re a fire or water sign who’s prone to emoting?

    The bottom line is: air signs (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius) just don’t like to deal with emotion. As Cassandra says, they’re generally all talk, logic and intellect. Especially if their Moon or Mercury is in an air sign. Therefore, it is essential that non air sign partners make an effort to understand that that is how their air sign partner emotes…or doesn’t, as the case may be, and not judge them for their seeming lack of emotion. I know it’s difficult. I had to deal with that, too, but that’s how I learned.

    This may be what’s going on with your bf. Tell him what you told me: you want him to be more ‘hands-on.’ With air signs it is necessary to keep the emoting down to a very low level so they can hear what you’re saying. With your Capricorn Moon, however, I wouldn’t think that emoting is a problem for you. But it also depends on what sign both your Mercurys are in as to how you communicate.

    However, reciprocity is essential for both partners to feel that they’re getting something out of the relationship, so it will also require that you occasionally be a bit more verbal and/or intellectual with him if you want him to ‘shut-up and kiss’ you already, lol.

    Relationships, as I’m sure you’ve realized, take more than just the ‘right’ astrological signs in order to work. They require the willingness to communicate (and to actually follow through), respect for the other person’s wants/needs/desires and dreams and the maturity to be willing to compromise on issues. With a Libra Moon, your bf will more than likely want to compromise with you, you’ll just need to bring it up.


  8. Cassandra Tyndall says:

    Thanks for your comments Kat.
    Yes other planets factor into the ability to relate, not just the Moon. However, the article was a guideline to Moon quality only, hence its simplified form.

  9. Word. No single blog post can do justice to the whole field of relationship astrology, Cassandra simply wrote what she said she was going to write.


    That is pretty lame, trying to hijack this blog to advertise yourself. Cassandra’s topic was the moon and your man, it did not pretend to nor mention other planets. I think people like you that pretend to know it all should maybe think before they blog.

    But i took a look at your website, and i can understand why you are desperate for business, your website is one of the most hideous I have ever seen, did you ask a drunk, ganja smokin Chihuahua with a broken paw to make it for you?

    Cassandra, please ignore people like that, if Kat Starwolf really was a professional astrologer, she would not have asked her dog to make her site ( it probably has more idea than she does about astrology also!! )

  11. Porridge,

    I’ve already apologized to Jeff and to Cassandra through Jeff. I realized that it seemed that I was trying to ‘hijack’ the blog, though that wasn’t what I was trying to do. My apologies to anyone else who might have been offended — and, again, (directly) to Cassandra — for my comments. They truly were not intented to take anything away from her article.

    As for me pretending to know it all: I learned quite a long time ago that I don’t know everything. But I have been around awhile, and I’ve accumulated quite a bit of data on various things. However, that still doesn’t mean I know it all.

    Thanks for the comments on my site, Porridge. I’ll be sure to pass them along to my webdesigner.

    Again, Jeff, I wish you the best. Take care.


  12. Cassandra Tyndall says:

    That’s the second time within a week I’ve heard the analogy of web designing dogs.

    As for being offended- it takes much more than someone’s opinion. This is a blog, people are entitled.

    After all.. you know what they say what opinions are like…

  13. Hey, let’s be civil. Kat did write me yesterday, and I’ve done similar things on other people’s blogs. In fact, I made an ass of myself just a few weeks ago on astrocrack, trying to come off as a know it all. The take home point I took after the fact was that astrology is so vast a field that any astrology writer has to winnow it down to bite size pieces, some of which are intended for beginners and some of which are for more advanced readers. We have to take each blog post for what it is, not for what it isn’t.

  14. to me it’s like the more info the better!! two astrological opinions for the price of one..i’d take it.

    i am interested tho in things like…. you are looking at ’emotional’ compatibility, and assuming all else equal, would it be ideal to have your moons in the complementary sign like water-earth, fire-air over the *same** sign. fire-fire water-water etc etc seems so HO HUM. seems being the operative word!!

  15. ca veut dire ELEMENT.

  16. Oooh my Scorpio has his moon in Aquarius….
    darn it!!!
    all the rest of his planets are in capricorn and scorpio, a little bit of cancer.
    but that Aqua moon makes him…Weird!!! rebelious…i don’t like it. not one bit!

  17. cappie chick says:

    My ex is a Scorpio with a Sag moon. We broke up four times, the first time, he said it was because he was scared and he’s never felt that way before. The second time was because he said he felt like his freedom was being threatened. I told him I don’t want to take his freedom, I just want to be with him, and he said he knows that. He would drown me in all this intensity for weeks, and then when everything was good between us, he pulls away, and detaches, his freedom felt threatened. So I pulled away too and gave him space. I love him, I miss him. He’s met someone that gives him all the freedom he wants, this person is poly, so she sleeps with other people and allows him to do the same. When we dated he said he didn’t like sharing, now he’s dating someone like that. I don’t understand.

  18. My crush has aquarius sun with cancer moon and leo rising. At least the opposing signs have similarities but cancerian energy is so different to aquarius. All it makes him do is lock away everything he isn’t detached from in the first place.

    How do I get through to a guy like this? How do I make him interested? How do I meet his emotional needs when he won’t meet them himself?

  19. sailor.mercury says:

    Yeh, I disagree that water moons are the only men who base their feminine connection on spirituality. My BAE is an air moon, like me, and we have always been and always will be based on a spiritual connection.

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