The Astrology of Kink: the Libran Ideal

Leather and lace, fringe and fetish … in this series, we’ll take a peek at the kinkier side of the zodiac. Each sign has its own distinct sexual flavor; by combining the various tastes you find in the natal chart, each person’s unique sexual recipe begins to emerge. Let’s take a look at Libra, that most romantic and particular of lovers.

Like Taurus, Libra is ruled by pleasure-loving Venus, but there’s a distinct difference. In earthy Taurus, Venusian desire is grounded in physical pleasure, but in Libra, the Goddess of Love is all air. Where earth Venus manifests as sensuality, air Venus manifests as aesthetic ideals. Airy Libra is often more turned on by ideals of physical pleasure than by the experience itself.

They can be very good lovers, if you fit one of their mental fantasy frames. They love to visualize themselves giving as good as they’re getting, and are eager to please — they have standards to meet, you know — and once you find a shared mental picture that won’t offend the Libran aesthetic sensibilities, sex can be erotic and imaginative. Sexy lingerie, flattering candlelight, and appropriate music are favorites; the closer a Libran can get to a picture-perfect romantic scenario, the happier they’ll be.

Librans like to watch. This is one of the most voyeuristic signs in the zodiac — if the situation is appealing, that is. For instance, many Librans like porn, but strongly prefer the slick, airbrushed type. Amateur porn is not to their taste, as the models and sex acts are often imperfect; Libra has to accept enough imperfections in real life as it is!

Particular though it may be, Libran voyeurism isn’t passive. They prefer to be an active party, visualizing themselves as the center of a sexy threesome or hot quad, possibly even directing the show; Libra Mars is particularly fond of this. Watching themselves in action is another turn-on; mirrors and video recorders are practically a given with an uninhibited Libran (but only for the most flattering shots, of course.)

It’s a rare Libran who enjoys the rough stuff. If you happen to look really good in black leather, fine, but don’t expect the average Libran to play along with anything other than light bondage. This is a cerebral sign that enjoys the softer pleasures of relating; they’d much rather tease you with a peacock feather than smack you with a riding crop.

One of the main downsides to Libran sexuality is its tendency to be superficial and fickle. If for some reason you cease to fit Libra’s ideals, you’ll know it. Librans tend to feel entitled to upgrades, even if it violates your contract — the Libran Venus is particularly prone to “trading up” if the opportunity presents itself. Not all of them will be the chronically-divorced type, but even faithful Librans can be lousy at hiding their disappointment if you happen to gain a few pounds or slack off in your grooming.

Otherwise, Libran energy makes for great lovers. They may be tough to please in certain ways, but they’re equally concerned with pleasing you. Whether it’s the Sun, Ascendant, Mars or Venus that’s involved, these folks are responsive, imaginative, and interactive. The airy nature of this sign gives it a pleasant, companionable touch, too, and Libran relationships are as friendly as they are lusty. If an encounter marked by aesthetic pleasure and mutual satisfaction sounds good to you, find a Libran. If nothing else, it’s the perfect excuse to max out the credit card at Victoria’s Secret.

About the Author
Laura F. Walton is a writer, artist, and arts instructor based in Texas. She has been a practicing astrologer for nearly ten years; she specializes in areas of sexuality, individuality, and creative self-discovery. She has contributed forecasts for print media, and currently provides monthlies on her blog Astro What?

Related post: Are Libras unfaithful?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. scorp
    thats almost frightening.

  2. Im a Cancer man attracted to a Libran woman. For 4 years now. Im not in a hurry and nieghter is she. She is turly a goddess in heels. I get lost in her eyes, I see her soul. I love her intelectual side and the need for her to be stimulated first by her mind. She is a challange, and look forward to what will hopefully, more time to get to know her. By the way I do find I have the draw back into my shell tendencies. Im working on that on a personal level. She is worth every minute and every breath I take. Though it is not the breath one takes but the moment of a breath-taking kiss from her!

  3. crab
    No need to be shy with her, if you truly love her the way you described she will adore every moment with you. Oh, and when you start going out to eat together, be careful, LOL You will both put on the pounds fast, indulge in the bedroom, beware the candy shop………the only problem in a Cancer man, Libra woman relationship is the mutual lack of will power…….Good luck, a Libra woman needs a good crab in her life to keep her on solid ground πŸ™‚

  4. Hi libralady,

    how to keep a libra man? what makes him to fall in love his woman?

    I appreciate your opinion.

  5. LibraLady says:

    Sorry, I didn’t write back sooner, how to make him love you, just be yourself, wear pretty clothes, kiss him softly all over the face (Libras love tiny multiple kisses) gaze itno his eyes and smile a lot, food will get him to your door, desert will get him in your bed, kisses and kittenish teasing will get you under his skin. Romantic lingere, lace, perfume, just be yourself, let the girl free. They love girly flirting, talk about things that your interested in, they also love conversation. Pretty much will indulge in anything fun. Oh, my Libra ex hubby absolutely loved being massaged, tiny little kisses on the back of his neck, oh, the lower back, rub your fingers there when you make love, nails drive him crazy, I used to run my nails lightly accross his lower back and he would practically cry from the pleasure. (Years later after our breakup he told me that he can’t touch another woman without missing me) I would kiss him with affection, every touch with my fingers would make him quiver. It makes my Aqua Man crazy now, LOL, be soft…..they LOVe it

  6. LibraLady says:

    If you love him, let him feel it with every kiss, touch and smile. Its like touching a baby that you absolutely adore, he will be yours. I’m a Libra myself, I fell for my Aqua Man hard, he touches me with affection and the loving never ends, I get kisses all day, for a Libra that’s like a drug. Security, reasurance, my guy makes me feel safe and loved. I don’t know a Libra of either gender that doesn’t crave that. want him to say “I love you” first, then you have to trick him. Tell him that you have deep feelings for him and let him finish the conversation. If he thinks your shy he will try to coax you for more by confessing his feelings πŸ™‚

  7. AriessunScopMoonLibAcn says:

    Oh, for the love of God! I am in need of advice, and I can only bug my friends about him so much. XD I’m crushing hardcore on a Libra guy. He’s very artistic and into ballet. He’s cute and kind, and fits my ideal man perfectly. I mean, like to the T. He’s a my dream with a heartbeat.

    I’m your typical vulgar, showy, tough Aries. But, I’m also sensitive, intuitive, and dreamy.

    We’ve only hung out a few times, but the impact he left on me canceled all the other guys in my life. I am seriously ready to date this guy exclusively, but I don’t know if he’d have me.

    How would I go about approching him? What makes Libra go gaga? Or is this Aries too aggressive for him?

    Any Libras, willing to help? πŸ˜€ You know you are!

  8. libramonkey says:

    ariessun etc, if my attraction as a libra female to aries male is anything to go by, you are home and hosed! I can’t think of anyone else, even though the aries male is rude to me and tells me to delete his number…there is a magic that is so strong it won’t fade quickly. I feel the aries male is so scared of the intensity of attraction, going by the way I catch him looking and following me, that he chooses to push me away to save possible pain if all went wrong…which i wouldn’t let happen anyway. Talk to him and tell him what you think, or just surprise him with a random kiss(:

  9. I love how this article basically describes who a Libran guy gets kinky! Keep it up! I’m gonna try this on my office crush, who’s a confirmed Libra, and see where it gets to! haha!

  10. The funny part about what I’ve read here is that while alot of Libras change up partners in an attempt to “upgrade”, they actually end up downgrading. lol

    The grass might appear greener on the other side, but when the commercial shoot is over and the crew rolls up that astro turf, there is nothing but dead grass, rocks, and alot of dirt underneath. lol

    SMH. I know my Libra brother treated his wife like shit, talked about her like dirt for gaining weight after having three kids…the whole nine. Now, she’s married to this awesome guy who’s like royalty in his native land. She lost all of her post baby-divorcee weight and gets to travel internationally with her hubby on a whim. She looks GREAT. My brother is relegated to knocking down what me and my friends back home call, “Bust Downs”.

    Basically a step above a seasoned crack head.

  11. sailor.mercury says:

    So, its funny that you say librans prefer giving and receiving pleasure as opposed to pain is more common…not odd, just funny. The thing with Libra is, s/he feels the others pleasure, maybe more than their own. Therefore, if getting beats is your pleasure, well then the Libran is more inclined to participate. Just the mental picture alone is foreplay to Libra, and to their soulmates.

  12. Hi, I’m a Libra woman but I’m positive I can still help. What I recommend is don’t be too vulgar, most Libras are not attracted to that. As long as you aren’t boring, and take care of yourself in every area (especially hygiene)you have a pretty rad chance.

  13. Your brother MUST have Sagittarius some where in his natal chart. What you just described is practically against Libra law. I mean sure, we want everyone to be beautiful in every way and we do get bored fast, but it is never our intention to hurt people. My boyfriend/friend person is a Sagittarius and he is quite blunt, and I could honestly see him doing something like that. (Not the living his kids part, I’m pretty sure he has a Pices or Cancer sign somewhere in his chart).

  14. So I’m a Gemini female dating a Libra male for almost half a year now. He’s very thoughtful and kind, but at the same time he has this huge sexual desire and he’s been with a good number of girls while I’ve only been with one person and let’s just say that nothing really happened there. Anyway, me and my boyfriend have been planning to have sex and I’m really nervous because I have a really less than perfect body, (stretch marks, touching thighs, tummy, and smallish boobs), what I want to know is how do I know he’s going to stay after we do it?

  15. The “Loose Libras” (both ladies and gentlemen) share characteristics of the air signs in love, marriage, sex, romance and relationships. I’m an Aquarius man and I bet a Gemini partner (men or woman) is permitted. I’m straight though, but a polyamorous relationship is based on trust, mutual agreement and responsibility. +

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