How many relationships are destroyed once two people move in together? Cohabitation is a rite of passage in long-term partnership, but the ability to live under one roof is not terribly related to sexual compatibility, the ability to talk for hours, and so on.
So why is there an inevitable progression towards shared housing after having been serious for a while? To save money? To avoid loneliness? Surely — one reasons — if you sleep together every night, you may as well share a kitchen, living room and toilet.
But sharing a home can be so difficult that sometimes you’re better off permanently keeping your own apartment or room. Everyone comes from a unique family environment, which they consider normal. It is only when, as a child, you visit other friends’ homes that you understand that your family’s way is not the way. However, it’s hard to adapt to someone else’s idea of home, even if you don’t like the way your parents ran theirs.
The Moon and Your Home
The Moon is the planet that signifies home and family. It describes your experience of your mother (or the nurturing parent) and what you need to feel comforted or “at home.” In addition, the Moon describes your habitual responses to life. In the astrological alphabet, the Moon corresponds with the Fourth House. The beginning of this house — the angle called the IC or Imum Coeli — is especially important, as the sign on it describes your roots and your heritage, as well as your home and family. One way to differentiate between the Moon and the Fourth House is by looking at the former as how you go about meeting your comforting needs, and the latter as the area of life that corresponds with this theme.
Two Moons: Collision or Cohesion?
When looking at cohabitation compatibility, the easiest strategy is to compare your Moon signs. The Moon sign will describe the general tenor of how you experience home life. Remember that home is ideally where you feel safe — otherwise, you’re just living in a house, protected from the elements but not from the emotional torrents of relationship conflict. Ideally, your Moon sign would share the same polarity as your partner’s. Positive signs are Air (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) and Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius). Negative signs are Water (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) and Earth (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn). In general, the positive signs are outgoing and the negative signs are introverted.
- An AIR home needs conversation, games, lots of mental stimulation.
- A FIRE home needs entertainment, play, an environment that invites creative inspiration — even some battles to get the energy moving.
- A WATER home is emotional and fosters closeness, empathy and self-exploration.
- An EARTH home needs a sense of order and productivity. It fosters sensuality and a close connection to nature.
If you look at composite charts, look to your composite Moon’s sign and house placement.
Your Daily Routine
Another factor to look at when you’re considering moving in together is how you organize your day. What “groove” do you fall into? Are you most productive early in the day or at night? Do you exercise often or are you a couch potato? Do you snack on prepackaged foods all day, or do you love to spend an hour preparing an exquisite meal?
Much of this can be described by your Sixth House. Look at the sign on the cusp, as well as the planets — if any — that occupy it. Then look at your partner’s. If you lounge on the couch browsing blogs while your partner feels like a house servant, you may have a problem.
Taking the Leap
In conclusion, to be well-informed before moving in together, you can look at
- your respective Moon’s signs, houses and aspects
- the sign on the cusp of the Sixth House in both your charts, as well as the planets that occupy this house
- the angles your respective planets make to each other’s Moon
- your composite Moon
You may decide to cohabitate even if you aren’t terribly compatible in these areas, because both social pressures and the desire to create one’s own family are so powerful. The key is to enter this arrangement with an understanding of how you both differ — and what you have in common — in how you “live.” Then, you can co-create a home that meets your respective needs and minimizes conflicts that arise from your differences.