Are all Scorpio women and men alike in dating?

The astrology books say that Scorpios are secretive, intense, manipulative, dark, sexy creatures. But to rely on this simplistic characterization is to enter the dating world without being fully equipped. One of the dangers of relying on Sun sign astrology is that the Sun doesn’t have all that much to do with courtship and seduction. Yes, it symbolizes one’s core identity and mode of self-expression. But, in fact, a Scorpio’s Venus sign will tell you much more about how he or she acts in a budding relationship.

It is easy to figure out a date’s Sun sign just by asking for his† birth date. But many people new to astrology don’t realize that each planet in the solar system represents a different aspect of our astrological make-up. Venus was somewhere in the sky when you were born, and an astrologer would note its position in the zodiac just as she would note the position of the Sun.

In astrology, Venus represents our values, our sensuality and appreciation of beauty, our desire to express affection and love. This planet does not travel far from the Sun — venturing out no further than 48 degrees from our shining star along the Sun’s path (ecliptic) — and since each zodiac sign contains 30 degrees, Venus will never be more than two zodiac signs away from one’s Sun. This means that a Scorpio can only have Venus in Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius or Capricorn.

Polarity: You Can Have a Masculine Venus!

We often have personal planets that are incompatible with our own Sun signs. No wonder we sometimes feel we don’t act in our own best interests! A simple way of breaking down all the zodiac signs is by looking at their polarity. All signs are either masculine or feminine. This is not to be confused with male and female — we all have both archetypal energies within ourselves. Air and Fire signs are masculine because they are extroverted; their purpose is to share inspiration and ideas with others. Water and Earth signs are feminine because they are introverted; their purpose is to go within, to conserve resources and explore inner consciousness. So a Scorpio Sun may feel more comfortable with his own Venus sign if the love planet is in a feminine sign (Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn).

Scorpio Sun With Venus in Virgo or Capricorn

Scorpio has such strong feelings that he often retreats behind mystery or aloofness to protect himself. He is a Water sign, after all, and behind those pincers is someone who doesn’t want to be hurt. With Venus in Earth, he approaches love with caution. Scorpio is pragmatic about choosing a partner, assessing their flaws or income-earning ability or willingness to settle down and commit. If a date passes Scorpio’s Venus in Earth tests — Are you reliable? Will you pay the bills on time? — then he can feel safe enough to let her in.

Scorpio Sun With Venus in Libra or Sagittarius

It can be a challenge to be a naturally inward-oriented person who best expresses affection by being outgoing. Venus in Libra thrives on conversation and traditionally romantic escapades, whereas Venus in Sagittarius likes to be funny and adventurous. Dating a Scorpio with one of these Venus signs may be confusing, for your date may alternate between being broody/withdrawn and cheery/playful. You might be wrong in assuming that he doesn’t like you. After a fun excursion, he simply may need to retreat to inhabit his world of feelings. You are best off respecting his different impulses, instead of expressing needy insecurity about how much he loves you.

Scorpio Sun With Venus in Scorpio

Well, you better know what you’re getting into! This Scorpio’s behaviors will adhere the most to your expectations.

How to Find Out Your Date’s Venus Sign

You can get a free copy of your date’s chart at Unless he was born on a day in which Venus changed signs, you won’t need his exact time of birth and birth location — just his birthdate. For a reasonable price, you can purchase a Seduction Report‡ authored by Kiki T., who wrote The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook. This report looks at your date’s Sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars.

Comment Below: Share your experiences dating Scorpios with varying Venus signs.

† I’m sticking with the masculine pronoun to avoid the awkward “they.”
‡ This is an affiliate link.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. angelineelise says:

    “Venus in Libra thrives on conversation and traditionally romantic escapades”

    My Scorp/Libra Venus is the only man I’ve met who is truly into lingerie! Very into art, venusian things and traditional beauty!!

    “You are best off respecting his different impulses, instead of expressing needy insecurity about how much he loves you.”

    Ture sometimes….Mr. Scorp has a mars cancer, he would love for me to cry about how much I love him sometimes!!

  2. I’m a Cancerian with Moon in Scorpio and all my experiences with Scorpios men are negative ones. For some unfathomable reasons the guys seem to get frightened very quickly. On the other hand my relationships with Scorpio ladies are very good, whether as friends – again something rather strange is happening: they find it difficult to understand that I might want to befriend them and it takes a long time – or at work. I’m trying to comprehend all those misteries.

  3. Elizabeth Kerri Mahon says:

    I am a Scorpio with my Venus in Libra (like Prince Charles), and that description totally sounds like me!

  4. Phenix/scorpio says:

    Yeah im a scorpio who has no idea lol and ive asked and iask but here are my questions. Is a scorpio woman as loyal and wanting of a a long relationship and what are these birth moons and planet stuff? My birthday oct. 26 1990 hers november 5 1991

  5. I know that when a Scorpio woman loves a guy, its usually for life. I’m not so sure about the guys, Scorpio guys puzzle me. I’ve almost been seduced by a few, almost LOL My instincts told me to run……That kind of fire is probably more then I couldve handled in those days, being a young naive Libra, When a Scoprio man looks into a womans eyes he hypnotises her, does it happen to a Scorpio guy when he looks into a Scorpio womans eyes? Can she tame him? It would be nice if that happened, 🙂

  6. Phenix/scorpio says:

    Libra lady
    Tame lol none can ohnestly when i look into my womans eyes (scorpio) i see someone who needs me just as i need them. Im drawn so heavliy to her she finds herself looking away. I look at her with eyes iv never looked at with another girl. In fact its not the taming its more of know where to walk the line. There are things you wont do and you will learn not to do them or leave. Otherwise its not as bad as it seems. I’ll offer up anything and everything if she asks but i can still see what she really wants. I dont want somene to look at me as an enemy to underestimate me i want someone to respect my power and stand by me and not behind me to the side of me. I want to life her higher and highrer. I want somone to soothe my pai and stonch that missing feeling within my heart. Pationate indeed. I stare at her like there is nothing else in the world and like its the last time ill eever see her. I want to enjoy it and remember it but ill let you know all the Same in fact i think she is finding me difficult but she fears like every other woman that ill leave. Why is that. Be combterable and confident i feed offyou i whish i could just say that. I’ll love feircley if she deos the same ill back off if she backs off and so on but i wont show if im hurt. Instead ill become cold and mean and push her away. Maybe that will help someone.

  7. Phenix/scorpio says:

    huh i have a scorpio sun with a scorpio venus can i have an elaberation on that?

  8. RowdyRaven says:

    I am an uber agressive, highly independent, very self-confident scorpio/scorpio woman. Anyone who knows me would describe me as fearless, deep, intense, passionate, reliable, inetellegent, mysterious, focused, extremely self-motivated, willful/stubborn, natural leader, intimidating and cold. Those who don’t know me would add mean and stuck up-but that is because I will not let them close to me until I get to know them…thier motives…..which is a protection device. I am an investigator, so these traits are perfect for my career choice. My instincts/intuitions are so dead-on, it tends to spook people badly, or thrill them…usually no in between there. I will not stop working on a task until it is completed-at all cost.
    Most all men I meet, and many women have a tendacy to mention “I have to most amazing eyes” which are best described as a piercing icy blue gray. I personally do see what all the fuss is about-they looked washed out in color to me. I am very athletic and proportioned, very physically strong. I am not flirtatious, yet I am frequently tagged as either sexy or having that magnetic sex appeal to me that draws people to me….which can be a blessing sometimes, but to me is mostly more of a burden. I relish my privacy.

    From my experience there are three kinds of scorpio men, and I was with one once-however he was the more shy type-and that did not work well for me at all.
    I once met one who was the kind who is drawn to the darker side of things-and he instantly percieved me as a threat to him-imagine that.
    The end of last last year I met one of the last kind-the strong more agressive one who is drawn to the light, yet does not fear and embraces the dark….just like me. And while we have never met each other-he lives in england-me in the USA, we have this connection that is completely uncanny. We have become very good friends, and have come to trust each other very deeply. More often than not we write to each other and frequently we find that no matter what the subject-we are both thinking the same things-at the same time-totally unbeknownst to the other. We are both as complex as we are simple, and while we share most of the same interests, there are-thankfully several differences. Those differences are a good balance and they tend to compliment each other. One day we will meet each other when he takes a holiday (Brit vacation that is) over here….as he has only been here once when he was still in the British Armed Forces, but never really got to leave the base he was at, and has always wanted to see America.
    He is really an amazing person, and I have the utmost respect for him. We have built a very solid friendship, and I know we will get along fabulously when we do finally get to meet one another.
    This type of scorpio man has me truely intruiged. I find myself fully attracted to his inner and physical strength. He is so much like me, yet different. It has been quite refreshing to be very honest. That innate intense understanding of each other is kinetic. And we both think that it is a good thing we have had much time to get to become friends and really get to know each other before we ever meet. We have spoken on the phone many times, and once a close friend was concerned about my relationship with him and wanted to talk to him as well-as she felt that she needed to know what his intentions were. We were working together that day, out in the field, so when he called I put him on my speaker phone in the car, and we all had a grand time on that one. Later after the call was concluded-she commented on how both I reacted to him, and how he did to me-she said it was like we had known each other our whole lives and sparks were just flying off the bluetooth-LOL. She also noted it was a bit spooky, and never really could pin down why she felt that way, just that it was a very profound connection between he and I that she could literally just feel in the air.
    I told him later about her comments, and we both agreed she hit that one perfectly. Most of the time we can not explain it-so we have learned to accept it and roll with it.
    This type of man is completely new to me….as I am to him as well. Neither of us take this lightly, and we both beleive that a necessary caution is the main thing between us. Slow and steady has built a solid and trusting friendship.
    While I have never met him in person, we do have lots of pictures of each other, and……he has the most amazing eyes! He says the same of me from my pictures. Noteworthy here-the two previous scorpio men I mention also had “the eyes”, but I have come to beleive the intensity in them is very much dependent upon the individual and the path they walk in life. The shy one-did not have those hypnotic qualities….the “criminal one” did but only to a certain extent. This one has me drawn to him like a moth to a flame-no kidding-really. And he describes me for him the same way. I have always heard it said that the eyes are the window to the soul…..and I think perhaps this may be the most true with scorpios.
    Because he and I have built a trusting….truely trusting freindship, we have some very very deep philosophical discussions. And when those discussions to to “us”, it really gets spooky. We have both learned that we can tell each other those things we can not tell any one else. The depths of these intense discussions have really brought both of us to a whole new level of intensity, and a strange inner peace for ourselves respectively. Everyone has some kind of fear deep inside that we dont want to share with anyone. What we have found-and it is so freeing-is that we can over come that with each other, and in turn helps us see, feel and accept everything on an amazing journey we are taking together. We have a tremendous respect for one an another now. And neither of us is afraid the other will “leave” now matter what is ever said. Since we both fully acknowledge that cold and mean tendacy within ourselves, and for each other, it is the ultimate in honestly between us-we can hide nothing from one another. You would think this would drive us away for need of privacy-and at first it did-but we have gotten past that now. We no longer get into heated disagreements because we do understand one another so well….especially our dark sides and what triggers them.
    The most difficult obstacle for us is own own willfulness. We both want what we want and will go to great lengths to get it-which has caused many arguments at first, but now we understand how to reach middle ground and still get what we want. When we realized this, life got a lot easier between us-instantly….and has been every since.
    Both of us agree we wished would would have met when we were much younger but that it most likely would not have ever worked out, as we both had to go through lifes lessons in order to fully appreciate each other now…..for who and what we are respectively.
    Fate does pave the way-whether we want it to or not.
    We both know that in each other we have found the ultimate friendship. Where it goes from there remains to be seen….but we both already know the answer to that one, which is why waiting is easy. Our favorite saying….”One day….one day”.
    Becasue we are so much alike, we have both discovered that if we “give” what we would want to “receive”, we are both deeply satisfied. How easy is that?!
    Is that what a soulmate is supposed to be?
    We are both in total agreement that half the battle is won, but the other half and….sorry to say this, but it is so true for us both…the hardest test-and by far the most important of them all is yet to come. That is the physical aspect-for with out that part of the connection, all the rest is merely a great friendship. That is not a bad thing if that is what you seek, and that is all we sought at first. Yet we both know…really know the importance of what has yet to be discovered and experienced. Those who look at this…especially non-scorpios-do not always understand what this means-or how important this part really is, but some do. It is about the natural connection-and how strong that really is. It is the part of the story that can make it…or break it.
    That to us is what makes a soul mate.

  9. Phenix/scorpio says:

    Rowdy raven- I ubderstand this all to much. Its amazing. If you can give your feelings to eachother openly what i mean to say is your emotions then this is perfect. Ive found the more we know about eachother the better everything is. Ive never encountered another like me. Its amazing. We’ve been near eachother for two years now. Gone out for two months. At first i felt we should be just friends and then we had a momment that destroyed all otehr momments ive had with any other woman. Shes destroyed all of them. Momments with her have been better then any others. Though it is a battle sometimes. Ive finallly stoped my searching. And same as yours we both give what we’d want to recieve. We oth give eacother so much and feed off eachother. its amazing. sory i would write more but i must finish work.

  10. @All Scorpios

    Happy birthday ya’ll!!! It’s our season so let’s do the damn thing!

  11. @pumpkin


  12. any ideas for those of u out there that reallyunderstand scorpio men. I know it is written that when a scorpio man is hurt by a g/f that he will usually never forgive it. I am a scorpio female who has truely brused her scropio man. He hasn’t talked to me in along time. But now he appears to me when i am on line soemtimes. If i write, he answers me silly stuff one word converations on his part, and he doesn’t stay long. But my point is, he is showing himself to me. I am trying to get him to let me call, but he wont even talk about that. I guess what my question is thought, if you all think maybe he coming around back to me?? or is he somehow maybe playing to hurt me now. I really don’t think he wants to hurt me in retaleation. But what do you all think. now if he wasn’t interested at all, i don’t think he would even talk.

  13. Virgos and Libra are lethal combination. You better watch out if your date has both of these signs. Brace yourself and enjoy.

  14. Arhhhhhh Ive met my mirror.. Im lib sun / scorp venus.. hes Lib sun / scorp venus
    scorp venus conjct scorp venus… intense,
    I know how my venus wants to play things out, can I assume the same from him?
    If im holding bk from my intensity, will the other scorp venus bk off? or will he want more, will he chase?
    or do i just go all out? or let it slowly drip out like a leaky tap hahah

    Sun Conjunction Sun 3.33 103
    Sun Conjunction Mercury 0.48 368
    Sun Sextile Uranus 0.07 104
    Mercury Square Jupiter 0.30 -163
    Venus Conjunction Venus 4.24 45
    Mars Conjunction Mars 2.29 24
    Mars Conjunction Neptune 0.04 114
    Jupiter Conjunction Mars 3.40 92
    Jupiter Conjunction Jupiter 0.23 128
    Saturn Conjunction Venus 0.38 136
    Saturn Conjunction Saturn 0.23 110
    Uranus Sextile Mercury 0.50 69
    Uranus Conjunction Uranus 0.08 99
    Neptune Conjunction Mars 2.28 86
    Neptune Conjunction Neptune 0.03 88
    Pluto Sextile Mars 0.05 63
    Pluto Conjunction Pluto 0.08 79

    me :
    Sun Libra 10.13
    Moon Capricorn 25.45
    Mercury Libra 4.23
    Venus Scorpio 9.17
    Mars Sagittarius 28.38
    Jupiter Capricorn 4.56
    Saturn Scorpio 14.35
    Uranus Sagittarius 10.26
    Neptune Sagittarius 28.49
    Pluto Scorpio 1.12
    Lilith Aries 3.02
    Asc node Taurus 28.24

    Sun Libra 14.09
    Moon Pisces 14.08
    Mercury Libra 11.31
    Venus Scorpio 14.10
    Mars Capricorn 1.23
    Jupiter Capricorn 5.22
    Saturn Scorpio 15.01
    Uranus Sagittarius 10.35
    Neptune Sagittarius 28.52
    Pluto Scorpio 1.21
    Lilith Aries 3.29
    Asc node Taurus 28.11

  15. I’ve been married to two Scorpios. One had all the worst traits you can think of. Cheated, lied. He was my first love and I was so young and blind. I’m a Pisces and would never of left him. He was killed in a motorcycle accident. My current husband is the most positive of all the Scorpio traits. He can be a little secretive but I know it’s not from a bad place were my former husband I did not trust at all. My current husband I know loves me more than life it self. I think why we have such a strong bond is I married him facing a long prison term. He will never forget that loyalty.

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