Sagittarius woman only needs Cancer man when she’s lonely

MJ submitted his birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

I’ve been with this girl since 2002, and we break up since 2006. But, i can’t forget about her! She’s unpredictable. As an example, I stopped contacting her because she said so, but out of the blue, she called me like nothing happen before.

I don’t think i can forget about her. True, i was “cheat” and lie to her while she’s complete honest and faithful to me. I don’t understand why she wanted me to give an explanation or reason behind all my action. Sometimes, it drives me mad. Even, when we’re argued, she talked based on her own logic. In every argument, it was me who’s silent – she’s on the winning side. Every argument i make, she reverse it.

Are there a future for us for being together again?

Is cancer compatible with sagittarius?

By the way, she did mention she needs me when she’s lonely but no longer love me or need me when she’s not lonely. Can’t she lie a bit? it – honestly – hurts me. But, i love her and wanted her back.

How can win back sagittarius woman?

I know you love her, but it’s not going to work out. The truth hurts — and no one’s more likely to tell it like it is than a Sag — but you need to accept it. She only wants you when she needs your Cancerian nurturing. When she’s not feeling lonely, she’s out having adventures and enjoying her freedom — because that’s what a Sagittarius needs to do.

The time of birth you gave me was right on the hour, so I don’t know how accurate it is. However, it’s possible that you have Pisces Rising, which would accord with your propensity for lying. Pisces would prefer fantasy to reality, and is willing to pull the wool other their own (or someone else’s) eyes to manifest their visions.

In your chart, Venus — symbol of the young woman to whom you are attracted — is opposite independent Uranus. This aspect suggests that either you are drawn towards women who are averse to settling down, or that you feel this yearning for freedom in relationships. There’s nothing wrong this this, but it conflicts with your basic Sun sign nature, which longs for security and coziness. (Your Scorpio Moon also desires intimacy and can’t handle the abrupt changes in love brought on by your Venus-Uranus opposition).

Your North Node conjoins your Cancer Sun in your Fifth House of Romance. Bringing sensitivity and care to the realm of love is a requirement for your spiritual growth. You deserve more than a woman who comes to you only when she needs some coddling.

Comment below to provide MJ feedback.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. I have been trying everything humbling I can think of, apologized multiple times, even after she has said she forgave me (not in my nature to do that). I am done with that phase, I have forgiven myself. I have sent flowers multiple times. I have made 2 trips up to Oklahoma to see her (although it was difficult to guage how many to make since I don’t have much money and I had originally planned on making a trip up once a month to make the long distance relationship work, but now it is not even technically a relationship? How am I supposed to have any faith in that?). She had at one point asked for space and I gave it to her. She missed me and wanted me to talk again so I did. I really can only be dangled on a string for so long. I mean I could see some justice in waiting for her since there was a time when I was unsure about us and it was killing her inside – but that was for about 3 months at most. It has been 9 (almost 10) and I guarantee you most guys would not put up with what I have for that long – it is humbling and hurtful and draining to give and give everything you have for nearly 10 months and receive no emotional connection, no acknowledgment of love in return.

    Anyways I had written more in another post but it got deleted – so this is all a shorter version. She has told me I don’t want to lead me on while she is waiting and deciding. So I asked her “well are you leading me on? Is that your purposeful intent?” And she said “no.” So I told her then that she is not leading me on, and she shouldn’t feel bad about that, because I cannot hold her accountable for that if she is not intending to do that. I told her I am giving her the time that she asked for.

    If anyone has more questions or advice I’d be glad to hear it.

  2. Hi everyone,

    After basically a year me and my Saggitarius girl are back together. It is long distance and we have seen each other once since we’ve been back together. She actually did finally decide to try to make things work. In the mean time, it has been difficult to show her love a state away in a way that she can feel it.

    She has told me things would be different if we got back together, and undoubtedly on an exterior level they are – living in different states and such. I had asked her before though to clarify that that wouldn’t mean she would withhold her emotional connection, and she said no. It has been, however, quite difficult to give her that connection. Shortly after she saw me for one day that she came down to my city (for work mind you), and I planned a trip to 2 museums and other things which we could take or leave, then took her to a nice restaurant, and really felt we connected emotionally too, she was saying she was having trouble with the distance, as if it didn’t give her enough to go on for a little while.

    That was definitely disheartening, but I felt like part it was learning on her part that to have unrealistic expectations of what I was doing (and have been doing for a year with nearly NOTHING emotionally in return, when she makes more money than me). I am trying to make the effort to see her once a month. I originally wanted to to fly her for to Houston for a week, but she basically tried to tell me it would be better if I came up there. She does work a 9-5 job and has a boss whereas I work for myself, but she not long ago took off for a trip to Alaska with her friend. I also found out, then later, that she is not taking off a single day of work that I am there. I just feel like there hasn’t been much in return since we have been back together.

    How can I re-enliven this relationship, but maintain enough sanity and energy to do what I have to do?

  3. @ adam…i commend you for trying to make it work with your sag girl. some of us are more detached than others in our emotions. whats her birthdate?

    for me to be emotionally connected to someone there has to be a mental connection. does she feel a mental connection with you? how often are you guys having sex if you mind me asking?

    saggis work to play. so shes either saving her time off for something else that shes not telling you. OR she needs a break from you when you are in town and work provides that break or time out. some saggis do not like to take off from work unless they themselves need a personal day or vacation.

    instintively i feel like she feels guilty about something and its being forthright with you. if she wants to get out of the relationship, she wont do it..she will get you to do it.

    how old is she?

  4. November 30th’s her bday, and she is turning 30 (why do you ask? just curious…)

    As far as a mental connection, we sometimes fall short on topics. She is consumed with work and it ends up being negative by the end of the conversations, or when it was a decent day there is usually nothing terribly exciting she has to say about it (and I am not saying that as an opinion, I mean she is not excited about it).

    As far as sex, it is awesome when it happens, its just on a once-a-month time limit since that is what we are trying to make happen (we had sex the one day she was in town, after I took her to a few different museums and had dinner at a nice restaurant).

    What would she feel guilty about?

    Other info: she has had tendencies to overwork herself and let work things bother her in her offtime. She has become less vocal about that all but I wonder if sometimes she is afraid to talk to me about it because she feels like we have talked about her frustrations already (also she often says she feels like those conversations go nowhere).

    ps – that was a fast response – thanks

  5. @Adam, no problemo

    an overworking sag…yeah we can all be like that…like i said, we work hard to play harder!

    i only say that because when i become distant in a relationship with a person its because “in my mind” im elsewhere and im just going through the motions..but im distracted by something, someone…

    saggis are horny freaks….i kinda dont know why shes in a long distance relationship.

    i read your earlier post and it sounds like she is dangling you on a string.

    Nov 30 makes her a 1st decan sag ruled by Jupiter…ALL a first decan sag 2 and i show the traditional traits of a sag; including selfishness

  6. Hi Adam

    Speaking as a Sag girl,I must admit the mental connection really needs to be there and I think we place a lot of importance on that. The guy I have reconnected with after 20 years who I went out with when I was 19, may end up being the one I marry. 20 years ago he wanted to ask me, but was too scared I would take him seriously and he was right. I was way to free then. We went to school together and we became the best friends in the entire world. He understands me like no one on this earth ever will. He loved me totally and always has since we broke up. We are in contact and seeing each other again and the connection and the sex is exactly the same but better as we have matured more. This is absolutely essential. I will not ever marry a man I can’t communicate with in a way that is totally satisfying to me. and him. I like things to be natural and I think we Saggies like life in general to flow with a certain rhythm that just feels right to us. The communication was serioulsy lacking with my ex and I missed that side of things immensely. Not saying that your situation is as bad as that though.

    W e always had a tendency to over work ourselves. BIG TIME! I am busy all of the time, but I have lots going on like your girl friend does. We kind of love this but need to know how to balance it more. If it is something she loves don’t ever EVER ask her to back away from it even slightly. It will not go down well at all. Its not because we don’t care about other people we do, but we are so passionate about things we just want to be left alone to just delve into is as much as we can.

    I feel guilty about talking about my troubles. We are great listeners but be don’t like to burden other people with our stuff. I understand where she is coming from. i If we cant change a situation, it really wears on us. We are good at being proactive and sorting things out, but when the means to do that just is not there, through no fault of our own, it is draining and talking without doing is frustrating.

    Much in return? Hmmm. If you love someone, you do whatever you do because you want to. You don’t look at it that way. What has she done for me kind of thing. My Scorpio cannot do enough for me. He wants to get me things all the time, do things for me every day, make me happy as much as he can. I have never been with someone like that and I have to learn to accept it. He says just being with me is enough of a reward. Maybe if you loved her you would think in the same way. I know its harder as you are long distance but still.

    I think you guys need to just spend more time together but be relaxed about it. Im happiest when things are easy going and natural. Just have fun. That makes me want to be with people a lot. Do you make her laugh and forget her worries but be there for her when she has a worry? if the answer is yes then that will count for alot.

  7. Sorry, he thought I WOULDN’T take him seriously about marriage thats why he didn’t ask me when we we were younger.

  8. Right! I am a Canceo man, Cancer/Leo Cusp with Venus in Cancer and Mars & moon in Gemini, I was dating a Sagittarius girl type I, Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Aries & Moon in Leo.

    We were dating for almost 2 months, and things went banana after that. I am 32 she is 23, I explained myself at the start of the relationship and I was truly honest, and I stated my position that I want to be committed ( long term), I hate games, and cheatings. I had 3 exs who cheated on me since the age of 18. However, I never cheated and I meant by been totally Devoted and avoid what women in general hates. However, the first two weeks it was like heaven to both od us, sure we had light arguments, but then things went so crazy. Apparently, she claimed that she adores my strong personality, warm soul, caring, endless giving but she hated when I become more protective (e.g. Hold her hands when crossing the roads) she was like stop acting like a father, seriously I don’t mean it, but I get freaking scared about people in general, I mean I stopped the whole traffic to hold an old man hands to cross the other side!!! He was like 87 years old, not trying to be his father!! ? anyway, I like traditions in general, spirituality, philosophy and I do have a strong sense of values and principles and she hate that, the thing that I cannot understand why would people hate values!!?? Although, she was frank that she had many guys & girlfriends, I told her the same that I do hang out with the boys and many ladies friends, but as matter of respect and curtsy, I start to go out only with the boys and kept communication very light with my ladies friends! She was not comfortable with that, as she felt that what I want from her too to be with just with girls only?!! Truly! Yes, it’s a fact that when man likes a woman he wants her to talk to him only ( most men won’t admit that, but its true) she asked me if I am jealousy person, I said in moderate way, but I won’t like a guy to lay his hand on you even for fun!!! Whenever, she want to go out, we go out, whenever she want to dine out we do so, even though I was going through a financial crisis, she didn’t care, so I stretched my finance to make happy. If I cook for her 5 stars dinner she likes it but she complains that I will make put in weight, if I don’t make anything, she still complain that I don’t like her!!!whenever, I tried to talk about something serious related my career, family ..she’s like I don’t care! When I told her that’s not nice she just smiles!! Last time, I was concerned about my ill niece and was about to start a conversation with her and she just walked away from the conversation to wonder around cupcakes shelf, and I felt as I wasn’t exist on her sight!!! However, I encouraged her to workout: “she was like you saying I am FAT!” although she is fit, but I apologized and I said never, you are beautiful and you should check it out , a free pass for 2 months!!! Whenever I wanted to introduce her to my friends, she is never there! And I was super good to her friends and cooked for all of them!!! Gradually, she start to use offensive words “F*** off, F*** U, what A male B****”, although, I never sworn at her even with a joke or use such language with her, I asked her kindly not to use those words around me, as rudeness can drag the angry Leo side out of me! We were joking once, as I was tickling her, she threatened me that “seriously, if a knife was beside me I would of stabbed me because you tackled me so much and I hate it” I was shocked of what she said, weeks later she said that was a joke!! Well, after nearly 2 months, she dumped me! And I admittly I loved her, she told me in the face that she dose not love me. I was so clear at the beginning that when I love I love like no others and will expose my heart for you and I trust you, so don’t abuse that … but she did in a big time! At some point, she told me” I know you pisses you off and make you angry, and I see how you are good at capturing your anger, why cant you show it to me as if you would for a guy” I explained to her I don’t like that its most powerful when you know that are cabaple of harm and you let go, and that’s what I have learnt an applied when I served in the Army and wars. I added, A man not buy his roaring voice or showing muscles or even kick someone, a real man counts by his dignity, patience, caring, sacrifices he makes and anger management”, She claimed that the reason for a breakup, that she very honest and she is not worth my love, and she knows that’s she fed up of torturing me. They always says that Sagittarius are optimistic, but she was not she was always complaining and not happy, and she even complained that I am super optimistic, altruist and trying to make everyone’s happy including herself. The more that I want to get back to her …the more she becomes more rude!! But the truth to be said, I love her so much!! I wish a Sagittarius women can understand Cenceo men. Canceo are somehow different than fellow cancers and leos. Any advice out there?

  9. She was 23. Young and dumb..dramatic and selfish.

  10. DrPressure,

    You are in love with her only after 2 months of an emotional rollercoaster? That girl wants an asshole. She really does. And you need to put more love into you! You don’t love her… you probably miss her being happy, taking care of her, and her young, tight body. Move on dude. That girls a bitch and she will just keep on torturing you.

  11. +1.

    young and dumb is right.

    she wants a partner who will argue with her, probably fight her. again, i agree…shes likes assholes, douchebags

  12. @ DrPressure

    What specific advice are you seeking from the

    Sagittarius women here? The gist of what I

    get from your 2 month relationship with your

    Sagittarius chick was she just wasn’t commited

    enough to give you the type of relationship

    you wanted. The age difference between you two

    could have been a huge factor. I’m a Sagittarius

    w/Venus-Scorpio like her. And I know when I was

    that age I for damn sure wasn’t looking nor

    capable of cultivating a serious relationship

    with someone. You two basically were at two

    different points in your life. And her being

    a Venus-Scorpio see might have uncovered all

    that you are about in that short period of

    time and realized that you just wouldn’t fit

    into her world.

    They always says that Sagittarius are optimistic, but she was not she was always complaining and not happy, and she even complained that I am super optimistic, altruist and trying to make everyone’s happy including herself.

    Was she like this predominantly when around

    you? Most Sags tend to get this way when

    they’re not happy in their current situation.

    She might have felt smothered and trapped

    so she starts bucking to be let out the barn

    so to speak. The way Cancer men love a

    “textbook Sagittarius” will feel their

    independence is at risk, feeling put upon

    by the Cancer’s “neediness” and having to

    curb their impulsiveness. Your Sag’s Venus-

    Scorpio might have sniffed out you being

    accommodating to others way too easily.

    And seen it as a sign of weakness.

    Now what exactly are you doing in trying to

    get back together with her? Can you elaborate

    on her rude behavior towards you.

  13. @ MerDeNoms, Hi
    I have elaborated in few messages …did you get my messages to you?

  14. LMAO!!! Am I the Sag Woman that you’re referring to???? That is EXACTLY what happened with me and my ex. We were together in 2002 and broke up in 2006 because he cheated and after 4 years I decided to reach out to him out of the blue!!

  15. I am Sagittarius female , I had 4 Cancer boyfriends, longest lasted 2 years . All of them kind of the same , I do want to be with Cancer man for few reasons, they seem very strong men , very sexual men to me , LOVE LOVE LOVE SEX with Cancer men , love part that Cancer men making me feel very feminine and desired , lot’s of emotions . But longer it last crazier it gets , Cancer men start telling me what and when and how to do, and when I do not listen they get violent , throwing and breaking MY staff , two of them actually hit me , which was end for me. On top of it all Cancer men I been with were extrimly cheap, selfish and full of bulshit, they want everything from you for nothing in return from them, they would suck you dry till you have nothing to give and you would leave . I have another Cancer man after me right now, trying to get me to have sex with him for a year and he is never gonna get it , he is so cheap , I spent so much $ last time meeting him which he promised pay it back , especially he makes so much more money then I do. Anyways, he would never see me again . Living with Cancer man is like living in prison for me

  16. SagGirlCan says:

    This question and response is irritating to me. HE cheats and lies to her, so she moves on and gets over him but yet she’s the one who’s getting portrayed poorly in this equation??

    She’s not a flighty user, okay?! She’s a girl who was hurt by someone she obviously trusted and was faithful to, and thus she has pushed herself to move on. That doesn’t mean she won’t slip every once in a while as there are most likely still feelings there (regardless of what she says) because unlike others who can close their hearts off at the end of a relationship, some of us Sags carry the love with us long after its over and most of the time, we will never ever let you see it out if fear that you will shatter us again.

    And no, we can’t lie to you a bit. We idolize honesty. If you want to date a liar who cheats on you and fills up your head with lies and stories, then go date someone like yourself.

    She’ll probably end up taking you back because besides what all the horoscopes say about us (usually negative) we probably have bigger hearts than most of the so-called “deep feeling” water signs out there. Though I hope for her own sake, she leaves you and finds somebody worthy of her kind of love.

    Sorry. Hope you can handle the truth.

  17. Sounds like shes over the cheating. Loves you but doesnt want to leave you, yet conflicted cause she cant trust you

  18. Sagittarius shan says:

    Totally agree I dated two cancer men who I was so in love he’s a dark sided cancer his relationship with his mom was awful so he doesn’t know how to love a woman now the other cancer was so loving but insecure and extremely clingy cancer men are great in bed but controlling I wasn’t having that at all I need space but the first cancer I loved him so much we have a child together unfortunately he hurt me too many times I’m over him once a Sagittarius reach a certain level were done for good I don’t go backwards once I reach that point it’s best he doesn’t try I don’t want to hurt him because I avoid cancers they are too complicated

  19. Sagittarius shan says:

    Right but a cancer will never own up too what they’ve done the sag is wrong lol

  20. Sagittarius shan says:

    I honestly feel she’s leading him on she doesn’t want to hurt him I could be wrong

  21. That’s bullshit, I’m a cancer man, loyal loving, honest, never step out, everything I did was for home, it was good at first they the marriage. I bent over backwards to be the best husband possible. Soon as I put her thru school, she got upedy and, and got colder the a light skinned girls heart. She gave up more ass in the street then at home. After 14 years she got all she could get and bounced. And then have the audacity to call like nothing happened, and then ask advice about the bastard u cheating and started a relationship with. What kind of shit is that? And if I ignore her calls or text want to get nasty. That’s bullshit u talking, which proves y’all just another lying ass bitch like I just ended up, just getting over!! Don’t feed nobody that bullshit, selfish, self centered and trifling as bitches!!

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