Listen to this articleWe get a lot of mixed messages about how to attract and keep a lover or partner. On one hand, we are bombarded with information on how to look desirable, what clothes to wear, which hair products and makeup to use. On the other hand, we are told the importance of being ourselves. Neptune, the planet of illusion, helps us put our best “face” forward, instead of helping us learn about who we really are.
Neptune is often prominently featured in the charts of celebrities who make their living being someone else. This planet helps present an image of glamour and beauty. Marilyn Monroe is a classic example, with Neptune in Leo in her First House — the before-and-after photos of her transformation from pretty girl to Hollywood glamour queen show just how effective Neptune’s illusions can be. And we all know how tragically her life turned out.
We now have a whole new venue to practice the art of deception when attempting to meet potential lovers these days — the Internet. It’s amazing what even the smallest amount of tweaking with Photoshop can do to make us look much better in a photograph than we are in cold, hard reality. If we have a strong Neptune aspect to our Sun, Moon or Ascendant — especially by square or opposition — we will be very tempted to “improve” on nature. Those who have Neptune conjunct the Ascendant are particularly good at projecting a facade. The question is … do we want to?
My advice from personal experience … Don’t do it! When Neptune transited my Ascendant and went over Venus in the First House, there were so many projections and false expectations going on that I didn’t have a clue! After Neptune moved on, it felt like sobering up after a night of heavy partying. And I had to go back and start all over figuring out who I was, how I was presenting myself, what I wanted, and so on.
A good look at your natal chart by an unbiased astrologer — not yourself — can be very helpful in determining what part Neptune is playing, if any. The bottom line is that we can only maintain an illusion so long before the facade comes crumbling down, and the real person stands there exposed. That’s when we learn Saturn can be our best friend … because his lessons are always grounded in reality.
About the Author
Neith AKA Diane Lang writes a blog on Synastry at Neith on Synastry, where she writes posts answering relationship questions from readers and does the occasional post on how the outer planets in particular affect our ability to relate. She also has another blog, Neith.net, which covers a broad range of topics relating to Astrology and her life. If you enjoy her style and are interested in having her take a look at your chart, she does written reports for a reasonable fee too.
Read more guest posts by Neith:
More on Neptune:
What about Neptune trines to the Asc. and the luminaries, Neith?
Yes, true. Neptune in my 5th completes a grand cross of enormous challenge. I wish I’d learned the wonders of astrology sooner and spared myself the grief of what happens when the dust settles . . .
BUILT ON TRUTH
You got a question
I got an answer
I’m not being wise boy
I just know
You’re scared of losing
Your shell of protection
Well honey I lost mine
A long time ago
I’ve seen illusion
Tasted deception
I played some games boy
I blush to admit
But when the confusion
And dust finally settles
We’re left in the rubble
When the truth finally hits
I’VE BEEN AROUND BOY
AND I KNOW HOW IT FEELS
TO LOVE AN ILLUSION
THEN QUESTION WHAT’S REAL
Bittersweet stories
Yesterday’s glories
Some played the bad guy
Some played the good
Well I ain’t no teacher
Got a long way to go now
But I know what love tastes like
And I know how it could
Love built on truth now
Is harder to come by
But who’s gonna say why
We ain’t allowed
And if you are willing
I’m ready and able
To throw out the fables
And do us both proud.
– an original by me, March 1997
Burnaby, BC (one of many)
Saturn is good for us, like bitter medicine, to be sure. I just wish it wasn’t sitting on my Midheaven like a black cloud cover.
Sun square Neptune, Mercury square Neptune, Venus trine Neptune, Mars trine Neptune, Moon semi-sextile Neptune and it’s not even the end of the fun. The problem is that they all want to stand up.
Good Article!
I have Neptune in 1st opposite Moon and sextile Venus. Thankfully my Mercury conjunct Pluto is good at seeing things as they are.
I have Neptune in 1st trine my Sun, square my Merc, and opposite my Mars…I get mistaken for other people all the time and it takes nothing for others to misunderstand me, misapprehend, etc if I’m don’t make my words and/or intentions 100% clear and literal.
That sucks because I feel that I’m talking down to someone (and insulting that person’s intelligence) when in reality I’m just trying to make myself understood so it doesn’t come back to bite me later.
I have quite an interesting chart with Sagittarius Neptune in my Ascendant which is also conjunct Jupiter and both trine Venus. People go crazy around me. They’ll do anything to get me: as a love partner, a friend, any connection… you name it!
It was flattering when I was younger. Then I learned it came with a price. These people are seeing something else, not the real me. I’ve since chosen solitude and remaining that way is an almost daily battle! A strong Neptune really can be frightening! Luckily I have a Saturn opposition to lean on… <3