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Peter Pan and Wendy, Gemini and Cancer

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[ad#link]I was reading Archetypes Of The Zodiac by Kathleen Burt last night, and she wrote that Gemini and Cancer may be drawn to each other, because Gemini is Peter Pan — the boy who never wants to grow up — and Cancer is the mother. Unfortunately, Cancer is attracted to the opposite sign on the zodiac wheel — Capricorn — because she wants someone to bring home the bacon so that she can create a secure nest for the kids. With Gemini, she just has another mouth to feed but not someone who will be a reliable provider.

In Jungian psychology, the archetype of the Puer Aeternus refers to the immature person who does not want to cope with adult responsibilities. Gemini and its ruling planet Mercury are associated with Peter Pan and the puer archetype. Wendy, of course, is the mother of the lost boys, fulfilling the Cancer role. She cannot stay in Neverland, though, because she feels the call to grow up. (Maturity and responsibility are associated with Capricorn, and its ruling planet Saturn).

Cancer may feel “at home” caring for a Gemini, but she’s not terribly happy with it. When you’re a wife, you want a husband, not an adult-child. As Burt writes, “If she ends up with a Peter Pan … she often makes the best of it and sighs a lot” (p. 123).

Burt, Kathleen. (1997) Archetypes of the Zodiac. LLewellyn Publications.

Comment Below: Have you been the Wendy to a Peter Pan?

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Comments

  1. Hmm…this book sounds interesting. Does Kathleen discuss other archetypes or just Gemini and Cancer? I’d like to read about others that I’m not as familiar with – like bread-earning Capricorn, for example. 🙂

    Wow @ the quote on p.123. That’s how I felt with my Gemini ex. I liked that he was so young at heart. Although he was much more mature than the archetypal Gemini (and me in a lot of ways), he would still do these impulsive things that scared me (spending money on big luxuries with no concept of a savings account, for one). I broke up with him because I just couldn’t see him as a long-term mate – i.e., stable and secure. Ironically, he thought I was the impulsive one. The sudden breakup probably didn’t help change his opinion.

    I felt more like a Wendy with my Aquarius ex.

  4. bis says…

    ha, in sextrology one of their archetypes for male cancer is Peter pan, and one for female gemini is tinkerbell (bla bla BLA).

    anyway, so this is interesting inversion reversion thingy.

    personally i fear growing older, am indeed attached to the gem ages of 14-21 and obsessed w/youth, identifying as young, but def dont want some mama nurturer. and def im sure as u write here they wouldnt want me, its something only a true mother would love.

  5. Hey, I’ve read Sextrology and it does say that. That’s funny.

    lol @ “but def dont want some mama nurturer” I want a papa nurturer.

    Bis, do you know why you fear growing older and obsessed with youth?

    About Gem preferring youth…I’ve seen that before. My Gem ex almost had a fit when some random homeless guy walked by and said we look like an old married couple. That didn’t exactly give me the warm & fuzzies, either. I had to talk him down off the ledge by telling him he probably meant we looked in love. For the rest of the night, he kept asking me if he looked old. lol

    America used to be Wendy, but is now Peter Pan with the youth obsession and faster, multitasking gadgets and everything’s now, now, now.

  6. bis said…

    @jara- it is hard for me to explain exactly howorwhy. it is a personal identification, w/others i could see beauty, intrigue, what have u, in both younger or older.

    i have always been attracted to older men however, at abt age 7 i had a first big crush on a 19 yr old and as i have become older i keep going up, like almost 3x, so the obsession w/needing to stay young could just practically be because at this rate my aging will outpace the life expectancy of males in even the most advanced nations. lol i donno, i dont think so really, i think it is just preference, and a preferred role.

    of course i know there are alternate possibilities but youth is one of those things once its gone its gone and there is a fear at losing it. it has a special power that paradoxically seems irrational (bc when u think biologically, hello) and i like that.

    sometimes its true being a young ish female in particular u get special treatment but that is icing on the icing.. i don’t know. there is no cake here, or i cant put my finger on it..wouldnt be a first ah ha.
    ps- at first i was like ughh.. at being often a ‘madame’ in france, even tho it is only appropriate, but i definitely on second instinct think it suits me tres fab.

  7. bis how old are you (chronologically) though?Maybe you’re in or near your Saturn return?I’m Only mentioning it because I remember at 29 feeling actual despair.that anything I had wanted to do as a young girl was no longer possible.
    It’s true what is said about that phenomenon– it’s hardly the case–29 us *not* old at all–but I felt terible, even though I was slender, healthy and physically appeared much younger than I was was even.
    I felt my life was over.
    My close friend who was a couple years older than I explained that she’d learned(from an older friend too)that we fear being older as we are looking *up* at our new maturity like children do, and believing we are becoming obsolete and/or over the hill as youngsters.
    But in reality life has begun in a wholly different way.
    Maybe you’re not even close to 29 or far past it bis–but the idea is just a thought to consider.:-)

  8. I believe I have been a Wendy with a Peter Pan.Probably been the Peter Pan too, but we’d have to ask the Wendys I knew.;-).
    I was in my mid 30s when a somewhat younger man (he was 26) began to court me as though I was a prize or a princess.
    Here is what I think is important to note though:
    At that time in my life, I wanted not only the attention, but, I wanted to feel young again too.
    I’d worked long hours in the last few years and was stressed, and separated from my husband,after many financial strggles as well.
    I thought then I had missed out on some years of “fun” I felt I ought to have had too.:-/
    So, a younger goodlooking biker offering me to sweep me off my feet was quite tantalizing.
    I didn’t think I was flattered, or lonely or bored or overowrked–I did know though that I was *inspired*.
    my point here is that I wanted to feel young and carefree, and I was inwardly angry at all the responsibility, and pressure I’d had up to then.
    I invited the Peter Pan, but, soonhe got on my nerves because he expected to be taken care of–he didn’t simply want to play.
    Part of what attracts Peter to Wendy is that she seems more stable and securethan himself and he thinks he can take part in some of that security she had when he wants it, and leave when he doesn’t.
    In real life what really happens isn’t a fun story.
    I was angry, he was angry, and we both felt disillusioned in the end.
    Except–as I really was older and wasn’t just “playing”as much, I was more hurt and angry at myself than he was.
    The truth is we both got what we wanted- but it wasn’t worth all the trouble it caused,imo.

  9. bis said….

    hey proserpine, im 21. big vons. i dont know when saturn return is, i guess a little later??

    on a practical social note peoples perception of their own youth has largely changed. way back it used to be important to get married off or settled down at a young age but now as more skills are required to be productive in society u are biologically aging quite a bit while u are still ‘younger’ maturity wise and are less independent. all the while biologically it has a same value. all very generally-collectively this is. i dont think it is much what i am feeling personally but surely it is there as societal background noise.

  10. this is interesting, i was thinking about this earlier, the ‘puer’ and of course the ‘puerella’ too. The the cancer female in traditional myth travels with her consort who is generally her son, (or her own unreocognised male self? she needs to cradle someone.
    I have encountered the puer achetype and also recognise it in myself as ‘mercury in gemini in the fifth’ on a personal level ..but there are menboys who do not wish to grown up like peter and for them leaving mummy in a real sense can be scary so they have split relationships instead? is this is where the two achetypes of gemini and cancer dovetail, but what is the cancer woman meant to do? wait unitil they grown up? or delight that she has a young, energetic, spritely lad who will keep her feeling young at heart and accept the fact that she may be expected to feather the nest as main breadwinner? unless of course she really wants to take on the capricorn man? the puers like to play around with non-commital stuff in dating and date for along time yet some complain that they never find good wife material in women, (maybe they can never find anyone as good as mother? ) the puer achetype seems very gemini but i think i see quite uranian too -fear of commitmant- sounds like a good read this one, has me musing anyhow…

  11. Bis, yes, Saturn return *is* later on …it between 28-30.
    I agree that society’s notions about what is expected do affect us no mater how independant one is.
    I actually felt old and tired at 17 believe it or not–I know there are certain times when we start taking stock of our lives–but feeling old is usually something internal.
    My point is it happens at all ages.
    You’re aware on some level that you’re not the “kid” anymore after this.:-)
    but really–22 is OK also.
    You’ll have a whole new life after 23 probably.:-)

  13. I am currently dating a Gemini male, and I am a Cancer male. I relate a lot to what others have to say between the dynamic of the Gemini and Cancer — Gemini doing the jealousy flirts, the really sweet and then the next day very standoffish personality, the adorable and child-like temperament and imagination, and their great way with words. I am definitely the nurturing type, who wants security and only to give the best to the person I am with (food, clothes, well-being, etc). I really like him, but I feel like in this relationship he is getting more from it than I am, and I enjoy giving but I can’t see him voluntarily giving me what I need. I don’t see foresee him taking the initiative to do what he thinks I would like. I can see the potential for this becoming very tedious, but for now I am really willing to put up with it because I really like him for the way he makes me feel when he is being “sweet”. When I think of it, it’s like he’s starving me of affection and when he throws me a crumb I feel like I am all excited about it — and I am not sure if that is how it SHOULD be. All of this is exacerbated by the fact that we live a 4 hour plane ride away from each other (we fly to see each other every so often). I am just not sure… but even though all these odds feel like they’re against me, I can’t help but want to stay loyal. At least up until the sh*T hits the fan. I just don’t want to waste my time if it starts feeling like a dead-end.. I am in my late 20s and I have never had that sweeping romance or satisfying relationship others seem to have in their youth.

  14. Well I have to agree with the whole Peter Pan Wendy deal it is soooo true and I am living proof. My ex of 7 years father of my firstborn fits the bill and I carried the realtionship. The burden of taking care of a grown man, a newborn child and myself. Pure hell and Gemini’s for a Cancer is so not a go!

  15. What if the Gemini makes good money and is the one who provides for the Cancer? Can’t that work?

  16. I think the Cancer/Gemini combo can work. I’m a Cancerian and I know of many others who have or attract Gemini’s into their life.

    As Jeffrey stated, Jungian astrology doesn’t favour this mix, however the ancient aspect of antiscia actually makes these signs conjunct!

    I’m thinking the Gemini side assists Cancer to get out of the house a bit and Cancer helps Gemini with a stable home base.

  17. It jst didnt work…smwhere,d emotionss were strong at both ends,even then it failed for me,

  18. I wonder if I am commenting on this post a lil late or something, but I am a gemini girl with a cancer guy.I agree about the peter pan and wendy thing, bt wat about a ‘tinkerbell'(gemini gal) with a peter pan(cancer guy)?Any chances of working out?

  19. You know, I’ve been trying to find the perfect analogy and here it is. I dated a Gemini for the past year and he fits the Peter Pan role to the tee. He had moments where he’d step up to the plate and make that money, but the intentions were tainted. He was always calling in sick to go surfing and it bit him in the ass when he got laid off, and of course he threw a fit about it instead of accepting the fact that he was irresponsible! He’s in his late 20’s so he knows what he’s doing, he just doesn’t want to acknowledge that his actions are childish. I took care of him the best ways I knew how (i.e. cooking awesome meals, stocking his fridge, making his bed, laundry….mothering to the max!) and there was no real appreciation. We had great times together and the differences made it a learning experience, but in the end I know I should have backed out a loooong time ago! So Cancerian ladies, when you run into a Gemini that you can’t keep your mind off of, remember that he’s very flighty and your tender heart cannot afford these wounds. Do yourself a favor and take a step back and realize he is who he is from the getgo! The sex was awesome, that’s what pulled me in! Ridiculous attraction to one another threw me head over heels, but with a huge guard. Who wants a relationship like that?!

  20. Funny thing, I’ve been the Wendy and I’ve been the Peter Pan (I’m a Gemini with a Cancer rising) so I understand what its like to be on both ends… I think certain ppl bring out the Peter Pan in me, the kind that are so set in settling down and losing themselves in age, and I have to say thats a bit scary… others bring out the Cancer in me, the kind that need nurturing and guidance… but that gets exhausting because you can’t be with a big baby for too long… I’ve actually been attracting a lot of Capricorns myself, but they lose themselves in work and just don’t have enough time… any way, I’m just jabbering on with no point 🙂

  21. What a great article, I’m a Cancerian girl and i’ve always hit it off immediatley with Geminis both as friends and i am swept away by their minds and youthfulness. There is so much truth in this article. Although i get along great with caps too, I prefer Gems to them, after Pisces men, or maybe theyre tied. Scorpios are really sexy too though..

  22. Me-
    Sun-Cancer, Moon-Pisces, Venus-Leo.

    Him-
    Sun-Gemini, Moon-Taurus, Venus-Taurus.

    It’s been a whirlwind to say the least! I want this to work, the connection is there…any thoughts?

  24. I am goin thru a relationship kindof` with a gemini guy, who is typical. Indeed all the above characterstics mentioned- he is ditto.
    .
    the guy is 27 & still not firm in life.I felt at first that he is lively more than I am, den he left me for no reason( suddenly)dat time i did scold him & found that he aint serious abt life.
    & now suddenly he wants me back & tryng tu get me again in his life- he is even thinking to get into marriage too.
    .
    I am too afraid of his infirm decisions all the time.
    .
    Gaushh………i love him alot, but many times i think in solitude what made me to chose him for a lifetime relationship?

  25. “In reply to Cancerian Female” you are spot on with what you said, my experience was the same with (2) Gemini Men. (Yes I was stupid enough to fall for a Gemini twice.) Word of warning to any Cancerian Girl, Dont Go AnyWhere near Gemini Men, they are not worth the hurt they will put you through. Way to immature and childish and the ones I was dating were over 50 and still a Peter Pan.

  26. gemini /cancer cusp , i dated a gemini man b4, i understood his livelyness he was fun joyful, and i had sooo much fun with him,mainly cause he was a writor and very intellectual, as gemini prt of me i alway tell my self i will kid heart, but on the other hand i can be mother to every one, i love given advice , i no what rigth or wronge, and i love the feeling of just sheltering people, so i understand bothsigns

  27. I know, i’m a bit late….
    I’m a cancer girl( libra rising), he’s a dyed in the wool gemini..i don’t know his rising sign..
    I see the Peter Pan, but there is something wise in there, something that makes me think he has seen his share of “compatible” women, and they didn’t have the capacity to understand and accept, that’s the mother thing, i accept the child with in, and i will love the man with out end.
    I have read until my eyes ache, and no one has an encouraging word for the cancer/gemini combination….i can’t help my response to his flattery, his flirts…but this is what i see, his intelligence, his wide and noble stance where the less fortunate are concerned,his mind makes love to my mind, and i have to say anyone who can keep up with my imagination is a prized individual.
    I hear the warnings, but the mother says love conquers all, for goodness sakes couldn’t that be true just one time…it’s too late, the sparks are crazy!!!

  28. @ moon’s pawn:

    I 100% feel where you are coming from!!! I feel EXACTLY the same way about my Gemini, and I get discouraged by all the put-downs on the Cancer/Gemini compatibility. The main thing is, if you are both willing to make it work, it CAN work. We each have what the other is lacking, and if you’re both open to it, you can help each other develop those lacking areas. However, the relationship I have with my Gemini has a much bigger issue attached to it that must be resolved. But that’s another topic for another forum!! (Although I hope you’ll respond encouragingly to me when I start THAT discussion, because I just know everyone’s going to be negative about the whole thing!! LOL) Anyway, if this makes ANY of you Cancerian girls out there (including myself) who are hopelessly, inexplicably captivated by a male Gemini feel better, please know that in addition to Michael J. Fox (Gem) and Tracy Pollan (Can), who have been happily married for years and have 3 kids, my uncle (Gem) and his wife (Can) have ALSO been happily married for well over 30 years, have a grown son and just became first-time grandparents!! As soon as I get a chance, I am going to ask my aunt for tips on how to maintain a happy, healthy and satisfying love relationship with a Gemini man for so many years!! I’ll be sure to let you all know what I find out!!

  29. This is so cute. I love Peter Pan. He is one of my childhood heroes. Its nice how they were compared to the zodiacs. It’s true that Wendy was called for maturity hence Cancer and often times Gemini tend to be immature hence Peter.

  30. What a perfect comparison. One of the greatest PG love team of all time: Peter and Wendy. True enough that Gemini people tend to be selfish and childish. On the other hand, Cappies which are ruled by Saturn, are more responsible and mature thinking being, a total opposite of Gemini.

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