Do Pisceans want what they cannot have?

From the comments section on Does a Pisces man ever end a relationship?

Do pisceans have a tendancy to want what they cant have? then not want it when they think they can have it?

Pisces is the dreamer, and for this sign, reality is always a letdown when compared to his fantasies. The sign of the Fishes is ruled by Neptune, planet of imagination, transcendance and delusion. Neptune is The Matrix, maya, the world of illusion. In the best sense, it is communion with God, where boundaries dissolve and one feels connected with everything in the universe. But most of the time, Pisces is the anti-Neo, swallowing the blue pill to remain in his delusion. He does not want to know stark reality.

The dirty secret about Pisces: He does not really want to be embodied. Pisces want to be Spirit, yet he’s stuck doing dishes and suffering through his day job. It is only when he plays his guitar or smokes a joint or falls for a pretty girl that he escapes from the Hell of the Mundane. The pretty girl is his Muse, inspiring him to write, paint, dance or daydream. Anything but to endure another hour of Here and Now. (Although the enlightened Pisces finds beauty in the present moment, for he recognizes the divine in as mundane an activity as sweeping dust from underneath the kitchen table.)

When the pretty girl is unattainable, then Pisces falls even deeper for her, for then his dreams cannot be ruptured by her humanity. Pretty girls bleed and poop and get needy and irritable. That’s no fantasy! Pisces is only called to create when his Muse is ethereal, when She summons him to reach to the heavens with his song.

So if the seemingly unattainable pretty girl starts giving off subtle clues that she’s into him, Pisces retreats. He knows that if he gets to know her, her human flaws will be revealed, and he will lose his inspiration. Once she becomes real, the bubble has burst, and he will have to look for another pretty girl to fuel his fantasies.

It is a cruel cycle that never ends until he comes to peace with being on Earth.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. Whoa that’s a crazy story Creative Energy!! We have all gone through this. I can relate to everything AquaTrainer has been through…

    At this point, what can you do? Let him live his life, forget about trying to protect him. He probably takes that as you trying to control him. You sound like a very strong woman and i suggest you become optimistic about this experience. Perhaps pisces people are meant to teach us all a lesson. People are deceiving, they will manipulate to get what they want, maybe you can learn a thing or two about them or maybe you can keep your sanity and realize that this was only a lesson to be learned and make you stronger. After you cut him off, which should be your ultimate challenge when it comes on relying on another human to make you happy, once you get rid of him you will feel much stronger to conquer all your life goals. Look out for yourself, love yourself because it seems like nowadays you can’t expect someone else to or maybe they do love but not in the way you’d like them to. This is when you should have your standards when it comes to relationships in general and if people do not match up to them, then let them go. There is no point in holding onto people that drain you, you will lose yourself.

    Forget about him, he is old and i have known old pisces men that are same way…Most of them never learn about principles and values, or how to be honest, they are attracted to the superficiality of life. All are very deep, conscious beings but run from it. On the other hand my best-friend is a pisces and he has it together in general, the most admirable person I know!!!

    Stop trying to figure him out, you are confused because he has manipulated you with his words but we all know action speak louder than words… Let him Go! Move on and love yourself, we all need love and the best love i’ve found in me!! Flirt with yourself it’s more exciting! haha jk

  2. ^5 @ Pisces Queen,
    I agree that Pisces do not like people who put on fronts. Some call it the “dating game”, but I call it not being true to yourself. I’ve let many a men go, because of the double thing. Til this day, I can be friends with my exhubby, but I can’t stand how he says one thing and portrays himself to be one way, when really it’s not that way. lol For instance, he called me yesterday to say, “Happy Anniversary” and blah blah blah, love you and yada yada yada. Not that I want to be with him, but I guarantee you if I showed up at his house on a bended knee and asked him to re-marry me, he’d freak the hell out. ROFL ha ha ha Not that I want to be with him, mind you…it’s just the bullshyt that I can’t stand. I tolerate in on the phone, because we don’t live in the same city and I’m HIS muse. lol

    I agree with what you said that we don’t want what we can’t have. Actually, we are extremely realistic, it’s just that we retreat from reality from time to time, because it’s just so God awful. People in general are sneaky, coniving, selfish, judgemental, and down right cruel. As a triple Pisces I can see how people hurt themselves by being mean to others and create this huge circle of mistrust in everyday life. I love myself….unequivacally and embrace everything about ME that there is. Most Pisces love themselves as well….it’s just that we know that society has this darn band of expectations for everyone that no one can live up to and therefore, sometimes it feels defeating.

    Yes, we LOVE romance, but loving romance doesn’t equal making a person believe that we love them, because we love the image of them and then tossing them to the side when we find out they have faults. Duh…every grown person knows that others have faults…give us some smart credits. lol We just love romance. If you are not romantic at heart and in mind, if romance is something you have to have an occassion or reason to show…stay away from a Pisces. It’s just that simple. If you’re not a romantic person at heart…like give your kids lil sentimental gifts just because or are the hug/kiss/affectionate type…and particularly, if you don’t daydream, then a Pisces is more than likely NOT for you. Quit trying to pull us into your reality just because you don’t mind being bombarded by life’s harshness. Pisces don’t and that’s the bottom line…accept it or leave us alone.

    That’s the other thing….as much as people complain about Pisces…why don’t they just leave us alone? I’ve also had this issue with exes…ALL of them, mind you. Complain, complain, complain, but they always come back. WTF??? However, we are the ones that can’t accept reality? Reality is, if I loved or liked you, then I’d be up under you. How’z that for reality? ROFL ha ha ha

    Who has a hard time accepting reality now? *wink* I guess this posting probably should have been under, “how to know when a Pisces doesn’t like you”. ha ha ha Geez people.

  3. Aquatic says:

    I agree, leave them alone. The confusion is when they tell you they love you , etc. It is a deceiving act, selfishly they want what they can’t have; having their cake and eat too.

    If pisces would say “hey this is over” instead doing things to push someones buttons so that person leaves, and when that person does they want to accuse you of “abandoning me”, etc. That is called deceit, when they do so much to push you away, but yet play the victim and plea for your love. WTF it’s frustrating. And the cycle continues… As soon as you let them go they’re back. Duh- they don’t know what they want, well actually they want it all but can’t have it all!

    In the end, it’s best to leave them alone once and for all and who cares about their plea, it’s obvious is all a game to them from our perspective but them is “romance” or whatever it is (fantasy)? I guess they all live in the sea and the rest live on earth or air, and fire on the surface. Their world is different from ours…yada yada yada

  4. Pisces Queen says:

    Creative Energy,

    Trust me when I say this, that moment when you called the police, whether or not it was a family intervention was the turning point not to mention when you went through his things, even though things were going well. I am in no way blaming you. I am just trying to get you to see things from a different angle. The point of having a vice is that its not always something you are proud, i.e., you drinking during the week or his smoking pot and looking at porn. It is what it is. You have to either accept a person for those things or move on but nagging about those things wont change them. A relationship is about two people, as they are, coming together to share their lives…its not about giving up one’s personal characteristics and desires, fantasies, etc. to make the other person feel comfortable and I think that is what most Virgos, both men and women, do not understand. Yes, relationships do take some sort of sacrifice but I do not believe that a man should have to give up his interest in porn just to make a partner feel safe when he isnt cheating in the first place. But believe me, Pisces are about communication. The moment you went through his things instead of just asking him directly if he is cheating and the moment that you got him a charge by calling the police were two of the biggest issues that misdirected your entire relationship. This is because Pisces are all about trust. Trust meaning that you will communicate, not yell, nag, scream, demand or discuss with others, but only with us about whatever issues you have with the relationship. You should have told his family that if they felt like calling the cops then they should be the ones to do it. Or an intervention could have taken place with all of his family and you present. Can you imagine how he envisoned you after you two shared all the personal details, shared poetry and hearts to then start digging through his things, even though things are great, and calling the cops on him. You were better off leaving him because of his dangerous behavior. Pisces people detest betrayal because NO ONE is more loyal than we are. I believe that he is now acting this way towards you on purpose, to show you how he felt when you treated him similarly: for example, you made a case out of his drug issues so he now makes a case out of your drinking issues…he may have felt that you werent as supportive as you think you were when he was going through his depression so now he isnt as supportive of you. Also, he may have felt like when you were paying the bills, etc, that you were demanding (as I know many a Virgo woman can be and controlling especially when they have more than you and you are reliant on them) and so now he is being demanding because he is now paying the bills. Believe me Creative Energy when I tell you that he is no longer in love with you. Why would he continue to beg to save the relationship? Be cause Pisces, esp. the men, only like to leave a relationship when they are 100% ready and he may only be 80% ready. Pisces do notlike going through change, the fuss of moving out, etc. so he just may not be ready to go through all the changes. But like I said, it is usually very cut and dry with Pisces. If we love you, we know everything about our partners, especially what they like and dont like and would break our backs to accomodate them…but hurt us and gradually we do less and less for you, become more and more evasive and start pushing you away until you finally leave, the men that is..because they dont want to be the ones to hurt you by ending the relationship. I know it sounds weird but its true..they only like to leave when they are ready even if they know they dont want to be with you.

  5. Ok Pisces just want to make it clear, Im not beating you guys up nor do I think your all like this. I just don’t want to use names when refering to him so I say Pisces. I appreciate all your input. I have to take it from here. I have lost so many friends from this relationship and it’s gotta end here. BTW what is reality anymore? It seems that just being yourself, not playing games is the way to go, and if u don’t love someone leave em! Don’t tell them you love them and keep pulling on their heart strings!

  6. I know all of what you are saying…I don’t expect anyone to give up who they are. I was presented with a pretty picture in the begining only to find out secret after secret the deeper I got involved. I know that he doesn’t like change, he has had many changes in his life and hes over it. As far as the porn, I don’t care! It’s the hiding it I hate! Be open and honest. We have watch it together for crying out loud while having sex. But to be chatting with a girl with her legs open on the internet is not cool when I have my legs readily available. Again, I have excepted him, I look the other way when he smokes pot all the time. Whatever…I have never been demanding other than be truthful and I am learning its a characteristic that he doesn’t seem to grasp. I take full responsiblity for calling the police. Even if it ruined us, at least he is still alive and that was all I was concerned with as I already lost someone I love that way.
    I still think my Pisces loves me and is in love with me, just a hunch. I just think I really hurt him and he has been making me pay ever since. I just wish we could break ground and put the past in the past so we can continue on with our love for each other.

    Thank you so much for all of your input! I really appreciate the time!

  7. Pisces Queen says:

    Creative Energy,

    Sometimes its not a secret, its just something he probably wants to keep to himself. As i said, Pisces are free spirits, especially the men, chatting online isnt hurting anyone..and thats not the first woman I have heard say that their Pisces man does that. But like I said, I believe that Pisces and Virgo do not last because Virgos live by a rigid code and anything that is not within that code needs to be explained to them in rigid detail so that they feel comfortable. Pisceans are the opposite, we do not need to know every detail about our mates if we can trust them bottom line. That is why Virgos usually do well with other Earth signs because both of them need stability and structure..which i completely understand yet I always feel that Virgos already know this yet insist on dating men of signs they underlying know will likely pose some compatibility issues down the line. And Creative Energy, I didnt take offense to anything you said about PIsces, we are all on this site for the same reason…to learn. Please keep in mind, however, that to learn and understand we all have to be open minded about our individual and sign-related faults and not make excuses for those faults. Its okay to pose reasons for behavior but reasons and justifications are two completely different things. Just because we have reasons for doing things doesnt make those reasons justified.

  8. Pisces Queen says:

    Creative Energy,

    If you sincerely feel that your Pisces still oves you but is hurt. Then I suggest you write a heart felt letter about everything, without judging or demeaning anything, explaining everything that happened and the reason for any actions on your part that you did that you believe caused him pain. Do not rationalize your actions, just explain why you chose to take those actions and that you didnt mean to hurt him. Still leave because I believe you both do need a break..Give him time to digest the letter and everything that has transpired over the years. Move out because he will not…lol. And do not make yourself available to him for a while…at least a couple of months..Let his only access to you be by email but do not respond to any emails, especially those that come within the first month and then in about the second month or so…reply to his contact (im sure by then he would have left you a message or email) and see if the time apart did any justice.

  9. I will….we tried the seperation thing once, he moved out for two months and was over here all the time, then moved back in becasue he said this was his home. (don’t know if I was included on the home thing) but wanted to be back here with me. We will see….right now we are trying to survive together as times are very tough for contractors and designers. The financial stress makes everyone crazy for the most part. Whether we weather the storm, I don’t know, but I will write that letter and in the mean time we have to live together for financial reasons. I am going to give him his space, do my own thing and shut the hell up for a while. It will be hard, but it’s the only way not to kill one another through the transition. We have worked so hard to build a home and a life and I think we are both having a hell of a time letting go as there is still love but our personalites havn’t been mixing. Your right about virgos, we have a very ridged code we live by and it’s hard for us to see any other way. Your input has helped me see things that I havn’t before and I am very greatful to you Pieces Queen!

  10. Pisces Queen says:

    Your welcome Creative Energy,

    Trust me, we Pisceans are not as complicated as we seem. We are just not good with any form o negative energy whether intentional or not. We need peace. Many say that Pisceans like drama but that is only the immature ones who hang around a bad crowd and are just trying to fit in…havent learned themselves as yet. We are looking for someone who doesnt require too much effort. Pisces, especially the men, need space to sort things out or sometimes to just be in our depressive modes. This is very hard for our partners to understand but when we get in that stage, especially the men, we just have to be left alone to wallow there until we are done. If someone interferes with that, for whatever reason, we take it personal even if it wasnt intended in a negative way. The best way to keep a Piscean is to know when to apologize for things, to LISTEN to what we say because we always give subtle hints as to what is really wrong, and to communicate in a positive and loving way, even when you are as pissed as can be. That doesnt mean you cannot get mad, but we are not good with the “say whatever you want when arguing or fighting” thing….anything said to us is taken by us to be meant and we become hurt. Trust me, just write him the letter and keep busy with your own life…he will come around eventually because we dont like an elephant being in the room.

  11. Pisces man is like a child. The more you give in to what he wants the more he will sulk. He know he is getting his way.

    When a childs gets scolded, they retreat. Mothers smothers them, woo them into eating, checking them to see if he is alright. This gives them power. The more attention, the more he will stay out.
    So when Daddy sees what mommy had been doing. He asks her to let him be. When this is done. Pisces Man feels alone on his own. When he gets hungry, he will go out.
    Look for people to see if they still love him and reassures him that they still do. Worse, People spoil him more. So as not to have him retreat again.

    But as far as we are doing this, the more he will do it, unitl he no longer wants any of it and go away permanently

    so I suggest, Let him be. until he realizes it gets out to smell the air

  12. hi my ex is a picese ,we split up andhe went bavk to his ex who he had kids with ,he then started to persue me and i caved in it was mad passionate and just like we were previously as a couple,we both knew it wasnt real but some how couldnt stop,anyway we called it a day i met someone else he then left his babys mum and within 3 weeks met and moved in and got engaged to another girl i was so shocked and a little hurt but i threw my self in too my new relationship ,he said he was happy and i said good luck to them both,we kept in touch slightly more left him to text and now hes just turned round and started flirting and cheeky comments in his texts saying hes torn between us .oh my god whats wrong with him ,i thiught she was all he wanted seeings he put a ring on her finger ,they have only been together 6 months,help me shine some light on this one please

  13. Sam…I think I may be able to help. He’s definitely “undecided”, but since the women in his life are allowing him to bounce back and forth undecidedly…he’s doing just that. Negating his sun sign, whatever…or how he’s going about his business…he’s not being a “player” as much as he is loving on several different people and getting away with it.

    Ok…I know that sounds contradictory. Being a player to me means that you have no serious affection for a person and you’re just playing the field.

    This guy sounds like he’s contributing to the health and welfare of the people who he is involved with…which means he’s not intending…not saying it’s the right thing to do, but he’s not intending on hurting feelings. Doesn’t sound like it to me. You don’t need to buy a ring in order to play the field. You know? He’s uncertain as to which person he wants to be with for the long haul. Admittedly, I’ve had this similar behavior. It’s not right and eventually there has to be a force to pressure him to decide on a suitable mate…but in the meantime and until then, he’s going to continue this.

  14. curious757 says:

    this article cracks me up, it’s so true for alot of Pisces men *big huge sigh*

    i was married to one, and all i’ve ever attracted in real life in the past were pisces sun men,
    *shakes head some more*

    the unattainable…gosh…

    and if you give them doses of reality they hate it!!

    i hate it too, that’s my dilemma, with having earth energies and being grounded, and seeing reality, and i hate it but it has to be done. Then i escape and want my fantasies too, and my husband isn’t in the Neptune/Jupiter decan though.

    ah well such is life.

  15. curious757 says:

    i meant…such is life, because Pisces men in general, in what you described in the article…
    lmao! so true, especially if their chart is mostly water. so funny, in an ironic way……..*big huge sigh again*

  16. pisces girl says:

    I m a pisces girl, and recently i’ve been really attracted to.a.pisces man. Looking at him made me do wrong conclusions…. The way he chased me, the way he acts, the way he shakes his expensive watch in front of me just made interested in him 😛 and i really thought he’s single….. He gave me many hints that he liked me, ans after he asked me if i had someone in my life, i answered by “no” and this was his last step towards me….. A week ago, whem i was dreaming about what will happen after fis half “declaration” (this is a french word, i don’t know if it exists in the english dictionary lol) i knew that he brang up.his son of about 18 years old!!!And till now he acts like if.he has never been interested in me
    Although hr is seductive, he is a little bit ugly ahahah but it just happened to me to think about him every day 🙁
    I don’t if i’ll take revenge LOL, because he was betraying his wife and me at the same time. As a pisces girl, i’m good at desappearing, i hope this will make him know the bad things he did!

  17. NICE COMMENTS about pisces mans.
    All You are so angry on them, cz Pisces still lives in 18th century, where romance and respect is higher than threat someones feelings, any problems being solved in DUEL and when they feel like they hurted someone, even if this is acting from someone, they start to hate themselves and make they own face guilty in someones mistakes, and weirdest-they really feels guilty for it and then they are good… And when pisces start to speak about their pains, issues with someone, with hope maybe someone will hear them and understand everyone around think, wtf, what a weird guy (selfish a?). Of corse, now is 21 and priority for most modern world peoples now is material good. (Everyone need simple guy, stupidoo manipulating, rich and respectable), even if he is pisces, cat or mouse, insect or dog, but ou well, pisces everything feels in intuition level and no one need a emotional people whos priority is others happiness not owns. Iam pisces, I being used, threated, missunderstanded, disrespected, spilled behind back mostly my life and all this things pushes away forewer. Not like I readed before, we coming and going in someones lifes periodicly, psychopats maybe do like that, strongest goes and leaving forever, stands only just best memories from past and last forever, even if You being with your “friend” 25 years, girl who loved from whole heart or even family member…Dream world, Yes, cz this reality is too grey for us, FOR US, but perfect for anothers and all this selfish “friends” who threate us we will never let them go in our lifes anymore and its a reason why we end single or with one in who we fall for real, should need happen a magic to be like that, yes its true, we seem weird for someones eyes and they brainwhites, cz all what we do we do from whole heart and respect and honest behaviour for us is all.

  18. I’m a Pisces and I have one of the nicest and greatest hearts I would give my last to someone but people hurt me so much that’s why I put up a wall and act mean sometimes

  19. sailor.mercury says:

    Wtf ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls…cats and dogs…birds and bees…that was sum heated discussion eh? Its not that pisces is afraid of humanity. Remember, Venus, who was the closest to Neptune, was incarnated as Helen at Troy. Pisces is ethereal, but only a negative being would not feel their own flesh and mortality. If Pisces finds a soulmate that is spirit like they are, but who is also grounded in the flesh, the soulmate can tether them from floating off like a balloon! BC in nature, the Pisces is just as corporeal, and being related by water to Aquarius, well…

  20. trueshine says:

    Run as fast as you can… time is previous to waste… the experience with Pieces is a cycle with a dead end, not going any where you want but his own way…

  21. Confusion everywhere says:

    I have a question about Pisces men: how do we know they definitely have a girlfriend? After meeting up for a few times through work, I finally had a feeling they are single… I was then faced with need from someone else saying “oh and his girlfriend….”.

    Over the next few meet ups I backed up and even mentioning “oh and your girlfriend must be …..”
    Bizarrely he then never reply to such comment nor admit anything to do with a girlfriend.
    The comments from him have always been extremely flattering, even including things such as how I made him a better person when I am around, how we have so much in common and he loves my kindred spirit,etc.

    And , as many have already mentioned above, he then disappears for a long time before next communication.

    One final question: are they just not great at phone conversations? We did have a couple of long and love conversations over the telephone- it has now been resorted to any texts. Is this a sign of him hiding from his girlfriend and texting?

  22. I’m a Pisces male 28 years old and I appreciate this komment its so understanding it truly feels like we are the most ridiculed of the zodiac frowned upon for truly setting a value on kurrency even tho we love it where the true example of the gift and the kurse theee highs and the lows the times we make the great eskape then find asking ourselves “where did everybody go?” We tell plenty truth when we lie or anything for that matter where fine wit if kause people take there on opinion out of my statement anyway so here u go Pisces feel this earth has placed a repetition on the way life is supposed to live see that’s there opinion which they have the right to have it and live the way they want with no judgmental views A Pisces gonna love you rather you up or down broke or rich real or fake.At THE END OF THE DAY AT LEAST WHERE INKONSISTENT AT BEING KONSISTENT… Pisces man are feminine lol nah we just will treat your girl like she’s suppose and shell akcept it free of charge even when being the gold digging type I mean its just the way of life everything that glitters ain’t gold the best things in life are for free or just simply WHAT U SEE IS WHAT U GET lol…

  23. Mine hurt me really bad. He watched me in college from a distance for a whole year before he got the nerve up to ask me out. After, a couple of weeks I decided to go out with him. And, we dated for 2 years in college. I got pregnant by him and my roommate swore that my pisces got me pregnant on purpose to ensure he had me forever. I never paid any attention and due to be in college, I aborted although my pisces man was upset and want me to keep our baby. Fast forward 1 year, he takes a job in TX and stated we needed to prove that our love was strong by staying apart for 1 year. Meanwhile he told me before taking the job he wanted to marry me. All he did that year was go out with other girls, leaving me alone in another state. He called me maybe once a week and then sometimes not at all. He (after 6 months apart) sent me an airline ticket to visit him. When I went, he made me feel that he was ashamed of me and didn’t love me anymore. So, the day I flew home he told me that we were finished. I was crushed. So, I flew home and 8am the next morning he called me apologizing and upset in what he did. So, things were fine for 2 weeks; then his old pattern started again. So, my friends tried to get me to go out with them to lighten up. And, for a while I was fine. Then I went to the doctor for routine test and they found cancer cells. As a result the doctor had to remove my cervix. He told me that I could always adopt; however, I knew my pisces wanted to have 5 children with me as he told me this often in college. So, my mom and a friend took me for the procedure. So, I tried moving forward and going put with friends. And, then my pisces called begging for me to come back and sent me flowers and proposed. I told him that I was dealing with cancer to forget me and he refused and fought harder to get me to listen to him. And, finally I accepted his proposal. Fast forward 2 days before the wedding, I realized that I needed to set him free as my parents never forgave him for abandoning me plus the cancer and he never called, etc. at a time that I needed him most. My parents made me realize that if he did this to me before we married what would he do to me in a childless marriage and with my own history and family history of cancer would he abandon me again. I can honestly state letting him go was the hardest and most painful experience in my life. Lived every day since remembering and at times the tears come when I wonder what could have been. Years later I was told he wrote a book and one of the characters apparently had some synergies to me; however, not exactly as he cheapened the character and made her look bad in the book. It doesn’t matter now. I just wished he knew how much I did and still do love him to set him free to have the family he wanted and the life (hope) he wanted. I have spent my time fighting cancer (3 time survivor), working with cancer foundation, and being a corporate independent woman. Sorry, for the long writing, I just needed to finally write this down and move on.

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