Aquarius woman is puzzled by Pisces boyfriend

Miss Anxious Aquarius provided a birth time (click chart to view) and also asked her question in the Love Advice section of the forum. She writes,

I have been going out with my Pisces boyfriend for nearly 7 months now. Lately, I can’t get him to communicate. I tried being gentle and calm and appealing to his emotions but it’s not working.

After a whole night of fighting he told me that he is not getting any younger and he needs ‘space’ to think. He knows he wants me and he is the luckiest man to have to me but right now he is scared of commitment. He also wants to test me to see if I’m the one for him.

He’s confusing me, making me feel anxious, I told him to take all the time he needs and that I’m here. What is going on? What’s with the temper? What’s with the space? What’s with the Pisces? What’s with me?

Lucia G. has already offered some insight into your Pisces boyfriend’s chart and how to approach the relationship. I’m going to write a bit about “timing.” On September 26, the Aries Full Moon exactly conjoined your natal Venus in Aries. Venus is the planet of love and relationship, but it is even more significant in your chart. You have Taurus on your Descendant (or Seventh House cusp), which means you seek security and stability in your relationships. Venus is the ruler of Taurus, so it signifies your partner … and it also sits in your Fifth House of Romance. During an Aries Full Moon, the spotlight shines on one’s personal needs (in opposition to the needs of a relationship). One’s own impulses take precedence, and inevitably there is a conflict, because meeting these needs requires one to compromise less in one’s relationship. This Full Moon may have stimulated your boyfriend’s antsiness. “All of a sudden, he wants to accomplish things, constantly wanting to stay home, not talking about his feelings, his temper is short, I can’t get him to communicate.” Other than the staying home part, this behavior sounds pretty Aries-like.

In the forum discussion thread, you gave his birth time. As Lucia G. mentioned, he has Mars in Aries in his Seventh House. He can be very direct and assertive about meeting his needs in a relationship, and yet he’s also got a lot of wishy-washy energy, with Libra Rising and Sun square Neptune. A few weeks after the Full Moon, the Libra New Moon on October 11 opposed his Mars from his First House of Individual Needs. (Mars is also the ruler of his Seventh House, with Aries on the cusp). This highlighted the tension between his need to please you versus his need to do what he wants to do. (Or maybe he feels overpowered by your direct expression of your needs, as his Mars symbolizes his partner.)

Aries is not the most commitment-friendly sign, as it does not want to be held back from acting on its desires, however they may impact others. These recent lunations have been activating the Aries love/sex planets in both of your charts.

Pluto shakes up your boyfriend’s entire sense of self (Sun) over the next year, and will make a 90-degree square to his Seventh House cusp early 2009. He’s going through the wringer, and much of his orientation towards home, family and relationships will be torn down in order to be rebuilt on a more authentic level. Only time will tell if your relationship survives this restructuring.

Comment below to offer Miss Aquarius feedback, or respond on her discussion thread.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. I have to say that I think this guy is doing the “weasel dump.” He wants out, and he’s doing a gradual, subtle dumping in order to do it.

    Sorry to say this, Miss A, but I think you need to break up with him if he’s pulling this crap on you. It sounds like it’s in his nature AND in his transits, and you’re likely to lose either way.

  2. Jara aka Blah Blah says:

    I commented in the forum about this, but wanted to add that when a guy says stuff like “I don’t deserve you” in a sad way, it usually means “Please dump me so I don’t have to hurt your feelings”. (However, if he has that look of awe in his eye when he says it, then this is a good thing.)

    Unfortunately, this is a Pisces staple. A friend of mine got dumped this way by a Pisces who “felt confused, needed space, and really cared a lot about her.” Two weeks later, he was in a serious relationship with his ex that dumped him a year prior.

  3. one size fits all says:

    The lady said, “I tried being gentle and calm and appealing to his emotions but it’s not working.”

    Well I guess not. What emotions? He’s an Aquarius 😉

    The nice thing about Aquarius is they don’t get mad in a loud way. The nasty thing about Aquarius is they don’t respond at all sometimes, to anything. They’re rather dry, really, like the air in Arizona.

  4. one size fits all says:

    Oops! Stymied again. Roles were reversed, pardon my error.

    He certainly feels emotion deeply and is adept at confusion and clouding the issue (very Pisces) while it is the lady here who is trying to be gentle and calm in dealing with the situation (very Aquarius).

    But I don’t get how being calm and gentle fits in with “a whole night of fighting” — it takes two to have a fight, so perhaps the arid Aquarius wind was blowing a little too fiercely for comfort?

    It is interesting to witness how an unassuming stoic Aquarius can pull it off so calm cool and collected yet stir everyone around them into fits of frenzy, and then wonder why.

  5. Ouch…Aquarians are not dry, they just don’t know and don’t want to play Piscean games. Aquarians also get emotional, but mostly on broad topics (famine, hunger, inequality, poetry, whatevs) and yet…some Pisces come their way, stir their feelings and leave a poor open-hearted Aquarius who is clueless about interpersonal relationships in the dust, unable to perform the multitudes of intellectual/creative projects that make Aquarian life meaningful.

  6. sad girl says:

    my pisces boy is pulling the same stunt on me too…what’s up with these fishy boys, huh???? so confusing…:P

    i am a scorpio, by the way…

  7. For all who have questions, puzzlement and wanting to know why Pisceans are so complex…Well, we just are. Astrology has put us in the 12th and final place in the Zodiacal Calendar and unfortunately, we are the chosen ones to bear the ingredients of all signs before us and to shoulder the curse that we represent the end of a calendar year when everything dies!!!
    The astrological calendar leaves the Piscean with complex baggage and intuition that is supposed to explain to others that we are the chosen aliens who provide a weird, negative and otherwordly embodiment that most find intriguing, mystical and attractive yet complex and easily dumped and avoided…oy veh!!!!

    Best, Quinzo…

  8. sad aqua says:

    ya know, not all aquarians ONLY get emotional with regards to broad topics. a scorpio man is kind of messing with my head right now and being inconsistent and its totally making me feel like crap all the time. we really care about the people we get close to because we don’t get close to many people…especially in light of our personal planets. i have a moon in leo, venus in capricorn, mars in taurus, and pluto in scorpio.

  9. AquaTrainer says:

    Ok, I’m going to post this is hopes someone, mainly Jeffrey, will read it and comment.

    So, Pisces is intuitive – and my Pisces, close to 2 years ago before we were officially a couple, said something along the lines of “I can always read people, even if they can’t read themselves. My intuitiveness is both a blessing and a curse. I wish I sometimes could turn it off”. And, I know I’m pretty intuitive. But, I also know that, as far as how people view me and how I view myself, I’m very unpredictable…and random…. And a bit aloof. Even my best friend whom I’ve known for close to 6 years still doesn’t get me. He says “every time I think I got you figured out you’ll do or say something that totally baffles me.” I think that’s an awesome quality to have – to be the chameleon, but also be untouchable i.e. not figured out. My Pisces constantly gives metaphor after metaphor explaining what I really meant to say, what I’m really thinking, and what my body language is really saying. Many many times I just give up and say “yeah you’re right. I guess that’s how I do feel – but you have to show me that”. But, no I still don’t feel that way. This happens all the time – I knew in the beginning of our relationship hearing him say that whole intuitive superpower he possesses was going to challenge both him and me. I guess I want to know…is Aquarius the only sign Pisces can’t figure out OR is Aquarius a sign that can’t figure themselves out? Cause I don’t like being accused of stuff I don’t think or do – to which when I tell him my thought processes and or reasons to why I did this or said that he turns those into “excuses” or “justifications” or “defenses”. It’s pretty maddening having someone talk over you and choose not to hear you out because it’s all “excuses”. Can you help me on this?

  10. AquaTrainer, I believe I responded to your email about this, no?

  11. AquaTrainer says:

    Nope! Resend 🙂

  12. AquaTrainer

    I’m an aqua woman, and my pisces would do the same thing. I was with an ex for 8 years and even he did not figure me out all. My pisces, always accused me of this and that, blah blah and I tried so hard to make him believe that all of my intentions were true. He always thought I was playing for a fool, maybe because of my unattached tendencies, but I really loved him more than anything. It had to end because of his insecuirties that he ended up cheating on me. He never believed that my love was real and never trusted, but maybe that is just another issue, but ultimately because i know he never got me and how genuine I really am. He had trust issues and there i was always being so good to me. It’s like he was guarded all the time.

  13. Jeffrey,

    i would love to read your response to AquaTrainer’s question. Is Aquarius the only sign that pisces cannot get? As AquaTrainer puts it, I too sometimes do not know what I’m feeling. I have a venus and mars in pisces by the way.

  14. aquatic, I responded to aquatrainer privately. I think any sign can “get” any other sign depending on the configuration of their entire chart. I do think Pisces will resonate more with Scorp and Cancer just because they’re also water signs. Any fire or air signs are going to be more difficult for Pisces to relate to.

  15. AquaTrainer says:


    Yeah, I can relate. I hope my Pisces never cheats on me, but I’ve accused him in the passed and it got so bad to the point he asked me if I was cheating to, in turn, accuse him of cheating. I never have cheated on him, but he knows I’ve cheated on guys in the past – even the one I broke up with for him. I accused him for other reasons. Like, I thought since we fought a lot there had to be someone else out there filling his void. All it took was me seeing a girl in his phone who was a coworker to fly off the hinges. Actually, just this morning he smelled cologne on me, which WAS FROM A MAN WEARING WAY TOO MUCH COLOGNE and his insecurities came out and he accused me. I called him on his way to work and was like “Why would I have lost 10 pounds thinking YOU were cheating on me and yet do everything I can, read every book I can, talk to everyone whose been in similar situations, etc if I was cheating on you?” That calmed him down, which it should. I mean, I also come to forums like these to figure him out so our relationship can grow. Soooo not cheating. It sucks. I don’t want him to cheat if he thinks I am, but he’s a guy…and he’d have to be REALLY good at hiding it, which there’s no room to. I know where he is at all times, when he goes to work and when he comes home. It’s just frustrating to be accused of something you didn’t do and we’ve both accused each other, but if I were to cheat I definitely would not be putting effort into our relationship because I’d be getting what I need somewhere else. I guess that’s where men and women differ. Girls need that emotional attachment and guys just need someone to bend over real quick. I think Pisces differ because they are emotional and I feed his emotional needs indefinitely so I’m not worrying about that stuff anymore.

  16. TheCountess says:

    I’m an aqua and was with a pisces for 7 years. He was very insecure, constantly accused me of things, which in turn led him to things that created a self fulfilling prophecy. kinda like “i’ll crew you over before you screw me over” which just made me miserable and WANT to screw him over. And in the end that’s exactly what happened. But we were young at the time and now that we’ve each had so much life happen and still were close for many many years after we split, he acknowledges if he would have treated me better and not let his own hang ups cloud his judgement, i would have been the best woman a man could wish for, that my loyalty to him even after we were done and care and concern despite his hurtful destructive ways finally proved to him the depth that i loved him.

    But as is often the case with life and love, it was all too little too late for us.

  17. Wo Countess,

    I feel the same way. I am not talking to him anymore, but all the time i was with him I used to break my head in trying to make him understand that my love and intentions were real. None of that ever worked, he walked around with that mentality to screw me before i screwed him. Well, it’s exactly what he did…..and now i wonder if he woould ever realize one day that I am the best woman that a man could have, etc. i don’t know and that hurts because my efforts were never appreciated.

    I believe a pisces swims through life with ablind eye and feels his way through the currents and not really stopping for a second to think. We aquarians are the opposite, we think our life through. Maybe it’s not meant to happen. Pisces drains you emotionally and we drain them mentally. treat them as if they don’t know any better and move on with life because it will be torture. As beautiful as it feels being with them, being without them would really hurt because you end up so confused as to what you really meant to them or if you ever meant anything at all. I wil never know and it will be a mystery….

  18. AquaTrainer says:

    🙁 Yeah, we’re both pretty much 30. He’s been cheated on and cheated once. I asked him how can one cheat who was cheated on and he said that him and this particular girl had no connection, whatsoever. She didn’t meet him in all 3 realms i.e. emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I’ve never been cheated on…that I know of. I’m just glad our communication is getting better and thank GOD I’m considered gorgeous in the eyes of many haha. I know it has a lot to do with my current relationship because we definitely have our ups and downs.

  19. TheCountess says:

    @aquatic – i actually felt the same way for many years – not knowing if what we had was real or just some emotional co-dependancy on his end. I definitely felt at times as if i meant nothing to him at all. It took about 6 years after our parting of ways for him to come tell me the things he did. Lots of pisces i know, my bff included, do this thing where they go back to previous loves, claiming that they were their true soulmates or the one they should have been with. But that’s the thing with those fishes, their emotions rule their thoughts but they fluctuate and go with where the tide brings them. It’s very draining for a mental sign who looks at that behavior as kind of silly. Although I would definitely look back on that relationship as a very pivotal, very real experience in my life, one that shaped me into the person i am today, i would also say love like that, though mystical and dreamy and beautiful feeling, just doesn’t have the substance or the strength i’d like to have. I’d even go as far to say, I would rather having something i can count on (i have venus in capricorn and its my rising tho) than something that makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

    But maybe that’s why i’ve never found that feeling again, but yet found other ones i’ve never experienced before. All life’s rich pageant i guess.

  20. Pisces guys that I’ve known and liked were all hard to understand. They say the sweetest things but disappear faster then an Aquarius guy…? Must change their minds fast or something, strange guys…

  21. Good luck to you aquatrainer! when i got into this relationship pisces made me so confused all the time and i started to do the who compatibility on the net, and everything i aould read would describe him all around, everything he made me feel, and i would read the past experiences from other women about the pisces man. i never wanted to believe, and in the end in someway these men are trouble whichever way you put it.

    I really wish it works out for you as much as i wished it worked out for me. I don’t know what else to tell you, but to expect the unexpected and always be prepared for the shortcomings. Don’t argue with him just keep your eyes open. He will tell you what you need to hear and will wrap you around his finger. Don’t ask questions just use your own judgement, if you ask him you will end up more confused than before. he himself is so confused so be careful.

    I always wanted to talk to someone about him while in the relationship, but i knew i has a special case with him. only someone in the same situation or that has been in it could help. We aquarian women can communicate with short words but between us we know what we mean to say. if you need someone to talk privately i’m here.

  22. AquaTrainer says:

    Thank you so much! I definitely will. I’d like to pick your brain. What’s your email address or how can I find you? If you want to go through Jeffrey, I think he’d allow us to do that haha

  23. The easiest way to contact other commenters without sharing your email address is by registering at the forum and then sharing your username or URL here.

  24. AquaTrainer says:

    yeah, but…this is a corporate computer haha. ill see if i can do it from my cell.

  25. I’ve been in a relationship with a pisces man for the last 6 months.I know him for 5 years I think.We had an atempt of something a few years ago but i didn’t exactly liked him.I pierceved him as a man with no back bone,a liar,mischievous and backed out.Now we have a good relationship,he seems to have changed but still I can’t thrust him.I can’t understand him,and I hate that it comes so easy to him to lie.He is born on March 3,1991 and I am born on February 7,1991.Can you give me some insights in understanding him?

  26. Hi Aquagal,

    What is there to understand about a Man whom you did not like in the first place
    because according to your perception he does not possess back bone is a liar
    and worst of all you do not trust him.???

    How can you possibly base and build a relationship with a Man whom you obviously
    consider to be beneath your standards and yet you claim that “you have a good
    relationship and he seems to have changed”.???

    Those “INBUILT CHARACTERISTICS” of a persons nature do “NOT CHANGE” no
    matter how hard you try to gain insight or an understanding into their personality due
    to the fact that it is their “MAKE UP” of who they are, something they are born with
    and something which was, is and shall remain with them throughout their lives.

    On a more positive note describe the qualities which attracted you to this Man whom
    you have known for so many years and what prompted, encouraged and inspired you

  27. @Karissa

    Hi Karissa, loved your post again! 🙂

    I have deep respect for your ability to grasp the truth instantly and transparently, understandably so, sharply, and very easy to translate it in writing. You are a great writer and most important,- considerable and substantial one!

    I had to say it. I just think, that people do not say often enough to each other, if others are good in something. We do not have to constantly complimant each other. Just sometimes might be insightful to have a feedback from others.
    Keep writing and smiling, girl! 🙂

  28. My comments are not getting through.???

  29. Just checking to see if my comment will get through.???

  30. Thank you Tatyana for your kind, generous and lovely words which made me smile.!!!

  31. A first impresion is not allways true.Back then I didn’t bother to talk to him or get to know him.It was just an impresion.Now that I know him,I can say I was wrong to say those things.Except the “white lies” wich I think they are a characteristic of pisces.
    What I was asking was for some insights about our compatibility.That was all.

  32. Hi Aquagal,

    It is all there in black and white but I guess there are grey areas which I have missed.???

    You have yet to mention his “GOOD QUALITIES” and what does your “GOOD RELATIONSHIP”
    consist of.???

    Cheers and keep smiling. Taurus

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