Stacie provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,
My question is really quite simple, I would like some helpful hints on how to get out there (into the dating scene). I think the main problem is I am so secretive about my personal life, I almost feel angry when someone continues to pursue a question even further. I like to keep to myself and sharing with someone else absolutely terrifies me. They don’t need to know what happened in the past, all they need to know is that I like to eat take out chinese and watch a movie. I’m so afraid to have someone really get to know me … they may not like what they see. I can be kind of intense and too serious for people.
You sound like a classic Scorpio to the nth degree. However, there are other chart factors contributing to your fear:
- Venus conjunct Pluto: You’re terrified of intimacy, all too aware of the potential for abuse and manipulation in relationships. I’d venture to guess that you’ve been traumatized, and that you don’t feel safe exposing your secrets to a near-stranger. There’s no way to honestly talk about your past without acknowledging your hurt, so you’d rather avoid discussing it all together.
- Virgo Rising: This sign on your Ascendant contributes to an impossible-to-reach perfectionism that leads to self-criticism. If you feel you’re not good enough, you conclude that no one else will value you, either. (Your Sun sign Scorpio has also been known to be self-loathing!)
- Saturn in Leo: Not feeling special, fear of being seen. (The emperor has no clothes?) All the more harmful since it’s in your 12th House of Self-Undoing.
The most elevated planet in your chart is your Moon in Gemini. You feel comfortable being superficial (take-out and a movie), yet how long can you stay on the surface in the dating world? You just completed your Saturn Return, when transiting Saturn returns to its original position when you were born. Your natal Saturn rules your Fifth House of Romance, so it makes sense that you’re taking this area of your life seriously. In other words, you’re nearly 30 and single, and you’re not getting any younger. You want a relationship, yet your terror of being seen as worthless or bad is sabotaging your dating success.
After a Saturn Return, single people are most likely looking to settle down and start a family, not just casually date — for Saturn is the planet of mortality and responsibility. If you’re too guarded, a date won’t know if he wants to get to know you further. He’ll wonder what you’re hiding, or assume that you’re shutting him out because you don’t like him.
Your “dating planets” are in outgoing signs (Venus in Libra, Mars in Leo), so you probably have the flirtatious/seductive thing down (especially with Venus conjunct Pluto!). I don’t think you need to know so much “how to get out there,” as “how to get over your self-hatred and fear of being destroyed.” That, my dear, requires a psychotherapist, not a dating coach.