How to get a Cancer man to call

You’ve already established that adhering to gender role assignments in dating rituals is the way you want to go, so you’ve given up your power and are waiting for the Crab to pick up the phone. But he’s shy! You could be waiting, like, forever!

So what are you going to do? Use your feminine wiles to “manipulate” him into making the first move? What a great idea!

If you’re lucky, the Crab of your dreams has Venus in Gemini — how could there be a better planetary placement for seduction via the telephone? All you’ve got to do is give him your number and say, “Call me” with a sexy wink to inspire him to ring you the next day.

Otherwise, he may need some goading to get out from behind his shell. Fortunately, Cancer is a cardinal sign. It initiates. There are four cardinal signs: Aries pioneers, Libra mediates, Capricorn climbs … and Cancer wants you to meet his mother. So to get him motivated to act, it has to be in service to the Moon, his ruling planet. If you’re a single mom, tell him you’d love him to meet your kids. If he discussed how close he is with his sister, share that a party of three at brunch would be a great idea. Then tell him to call to set up a time. I know these are not the most erotic come-ons, but the fastest way to a Cancer man’s heart is through his family.

Unless you can cook.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. Hi everyone! I need help with my Cancer man. We met and fell in love 25 years ago and back then he was the one who broke up our relationship. I was hurt but i took it all in because I was very troubled back then. After 23 years we connected again on & off through chatting online (he’s now married with kids BTW). He was working overseas but when he came back for a vacation he asked me if I could meet him to talk and reminisce but I was so busy so we never had the chance then he left the country again. We again resumed on & off chatting online and emails. Then Sept last year he contacted me to tell me he was back in the country for good and wanted to meet up. At first I was hesitant but he was persistent so we met October last year. We had a good talk about our families, careers and whatever happened to us after our break-up. He said he wanted to see me again and I agreed to it.

    I’ll be real honest, seeing him again kinda brought back my feelings for him but I know he’s now happily married (he constantly brags about how blessed he is). Then we came to a point where we had a chance to be intimate, he made a move but i told him that I’m not the same girl anymore. He took it lightly but said he still wanted to see me even if it was just for lunch or coffee. When I got home I emailed to ask him what is it that he wanted from me. He said he wanted to spend intimate times with me and reminisce but never said if he still loved me or wanted me back. Which took me by surprise because i know how much he loves his wife. I understood that what we had 25 years ago was pretty intense. I agreed to he wanted and we met every time he was in town. The first time we did it I asked him why and he said he was just curious how it would feel after so many years. In my mind, if he was just curious why did he wanted more time? After the second time we met, I felt he didn’t really trust me and I was hurt so I broke it off with him. He asked me a couple of time if I was sure if i wanted to stop seeing him I lied and told him yes.

    When I got home I realized how stupid I was and I deeply regret what i did. So I texted him to say sorry and explain. He said he realized it was also unfair for me so its best that we end it. He even said you were the first one who said “goodbye” so its ok. I sent him a message saying that he must get over who I was 25 years ago and learn to trust me now cuz I’m a different person. If he can do that we can definitely pick-up where we left off. He has never replied positively since about our relationship though he still replies to my other messages.

    I want my cancer man back but i dont want to be the first one to make a move like say that i want him back. I prefer that he says he wants me back. What do I do? Please help me with this I miss him so much even if we don’t see each other that often. Just the thought of him wanting me is enough.

  2. frustrated-aquarius says:

    Frustrated Aquarius:

    Yes its me again, ok I thought I was doing really well… know getting on with the life and letting go of the cancerian but no he keeps appearing in my life.

    First as previously said he sends me an invite on a social networking site in December but that was it no communication on there at all but its not like FB.

    Then in January he sends me an email hoping I had a lovely Xmas and NY blah blah blah mainly pushing for my company to start work with his and yet he doesn’t need to contact me anymore as I’m in contact with his colleague its bizarre, I did send back an assertive email and said that I would update his colleague and I thought that would get rid of him but it didn’t he’s contacted me again, wanting to speak to me on the phone and I have purposely avoided talking to him on the phone because I can’t do it…hearing his voice again would wreck the amount of effort I have put into not fall for him, its been so hard, and very upsetting. I know he has noticed a change in my emails, they are not as friendly as I pretend I’m emailing someone else, he keeps asking if I’m ok…..I just don’t know what to do as I can’t say anything to anyone especially to him as I could make myself look ridiculous. I love the work I do but I’m wondering if I ask my manager to move projects then he’ll never need to contact me again.

  3. CHARM! It a girls secret weapon to winning in almost everything. If a woman uses her charm to lure a man, whatever his zodiac may be, she already wins half the battle. If this is the case, then Cancer Men are an easy catch ,don’t you think so ladies?

  4. Ok, I didn’t know where to post this question, but I understand that Cancers have difficulty letting go of their past. They hope the best for everyone… even those that hurt them. My question is….. how can I get my Cancer to let go of his past relationship with a certain ex f buddy? I know they remain in contact, and I’ve already expressed I’m not okay with it, but he hasn’t done anything about it. What are some ways I can really put my foot down on this or am I fighting a losing battle?

  5. Someone please answer my question above 🙁 We’re now nearing the point of breaking up because this other woman have suddenly started posting public posts that indicate she’s doing something… with someone at least. And I’ve been blocked from my bf’s fb because I told him that I delete all my ex hookups and relationships and he said he would do the same 2 months ago and still hasn’t. I’m only concerned about one because I did meet her, shook her hand and introduced myself, she got the hint and offered not to keep in contact with him, but he said “no worries, if you need to get ahold of me do it on fb” and now he checks his fb every day whereas it’d be like twice a week. Yet, I don’t know if this is a battle worth fighting, but now he says we’re close to breaking up and blocked me because I stood up for integrity and honesty. I need so damn advice, pleaaaaase :/

  6. ok… mmm i have known this cancer guy for 7 months (im a scorpio, november 6th, & his is July 22nd) ok so im dying to go out with him, we used to go to school together but he moved last month 7 hours from me but he still texts me every day, every morning and every night! i mean i love everytime he texts me he makes me happy & he wants to go out with me too but he thinks that just because he moved it’s not a good idea to have a relationship. But he still comes to town sometimes to visit his family & he comes & visits me, but i just think he’s too shy to ask me out. Please help i really like this guy. He knows how i feel & i know how he feels i just don;t understand why he’s shy with me…. i don’t know what to do.

  7. Hi Heidi,

    Are you perhaps confusing “FRIENDSHIP” with “ROMANTIC INTEREST”.???

    They are very different but if you want him romantically you are viewing him through
    different eyes then the way he views you as just a “FRIEND”. IF he really was interested
    in more then a friendship he would have indicated to you that he wants you as more than
    just a friend, especially after seven months so he maybe using the distance as an excuse.???

    What does he say in his texts or anything else you two talk about which indicates or leads
    you to think that he wants you in the same way which you obviously want him.???

    He is not “SHY” when he texts you, comes to visit you and has told you that the reason he
    does not want a relationship is because he moved, so why would he be “SHY” when it comes
    to asking you to go out with him because he is interested in you not as just a “FRIEND” but
    something more and beyond just “FRIENDSHIP”.???

  8. Hi. So I’m a Taurus and I met this totally awesome Cancer last summer and we were trying to work on a long distance type of relationship back in August after he moved back to New York (I’m in California). Well, that didn’t work out at the time because we were both going through some personal issues (it didn’t have anything to do with our relationship). We stopped talking and “broke up”. I’m the one that ended it because of the issues I was dealing with at the time and hadnt processed everything at all. So anyways, we just got back in touch recently, I reached out to him, and so now, we’re starting to talk again but it’s just that since I know he holds back until he knows for sure that it will work out or whatever, I’m kind of getting a bit list on his signals. I know Cancers hold grudges and I already apologized to him but I need some form of reassurance that with how slow I’m taking it now and letting him initiate everything is a good thing and will hopefully bring him back to me. I realized that he is a huge part of my life and last year, I was abrasive and irritable like the Taurus I am not to mention impatient! But I’ve calmed down and matured (says my best friend) and I really just want to be back with him even if it won’t be in physical form for a while. Please somebody just tell me I’m going about this right and give me some advice. I’m going stir crazy and I’m pretty sure my Venus in Aries is absolutely not helping! Thank you so much!

  9. Hi Ariel

    Very pretty name. And I don’t have to tell you that “Patience is a Virtue” because being
    a Taurus that is one trait which should be in your favour but you are developing it and
    it should pay off providing he doesn’t have other interests or designs in the works for
    some other Girl and that would be reasonable and acceptable considering the fact that
    you had broken up so that is something you need to find out so you are on the right track
    and perhaps the mixed signals you are receiving may have something to do with it.???

    Has he actually said that he wants a relationship now and that he is emotionally available
    and completely unattached.???

    What else have you talked about and what is he doing with other aspects of his life is he
    at a good place or is he troubled and consumed with other matters and responsibilities
    which maybe distracting him and he is unable to focus on re entering a relationship which
    he may think comes with previous baggage and he is sceptical and reluctant.???

    Have a think and let me know so I may have a clearer picture.? Cheers Taurus.

  10. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    My son is cancer, my father was too. I have never met one romantically but i get along great with Cancer guys, I can tell you something as the Mom of one of these crabby guys LOL,
    they need so much re assurance that you love them. I don’t know if this is a virtue to others to me it is a flaw, these guys are too forgiving, if a woman hurts him he will be mad, for a while, but one day he will forgive, even if he’s in a better place in a better relationship he will forgive her anyways and even talk with her again, this does NOT mean he wants her back. but he will like her like a friend because she is from his past, that is all she will ever get from him though and if she even tried to interfere with his new relationship then she will hear some stuff she wouldn’t want too, LOL once you are his woman, or girl or best friend then NOONE can come between you. They love deep. So when he is with you but he gets a call from her, don’t fight it, just go with them HE will love it if you were there, he wants to rub you in her face, LOL but in a nice subtle way, he won’t mind you rubbing him in your ex’s face either. Just tell him that you want the ex to suffer, he will play it good…. These guys can be ruthless if you want them to be 🙂

  11. I am a cancer female and i am with a virgo now but i just met this cancer male and i just love him…(he’s my boss though), but there is just something about him i have to get to know him…he’s amazing!!! There has been some flirting but nothing to where we would get in trouble or anything OMG!! I can’t get over him…he’s sharp, he’s tall he has these beautiful brown eyes, he is very sweet, he is just WOW!! He is domestic he cleans i’m not sure about cooking…but i cook and i would love to make him a plate for Thanksgiving! He Thinks i am a good woman and a savvy shopper!!! I think he is just brilliant, he’s everything. HELP!

  12. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    pumpkin125 says
    Love is love, I hope you go for it, jobs can always be replaced, there is always a new opportunity one day for a career or job but love only happens once for some people, sometimes twice in a lifetime but not often, if you love him and your heart wants him more then anything, just be with him. The hell with anything else, you need him he needs you, what else matters? If he is not married and you’re not married just be with him. You have to, there is no choice, be happy! Be happy in this world while you can. Please
    he will be the most devoted husband to you, and your best friend for life. If you have kids he would lay his life on the line for them and for you, all he needs is your love.

  13. sassy virgo says:

    Hey guys…..virgo girl dating cancer guy….he is soooo insecure….omg….but never say it to him bc he’ll probably rip me apart. He’s insanely jealous and we fight everyday. He constantly tells me he loves me and need to hear it back….he told me he wants to marry me but I am overwhelmed by his personality. He gets very angry n becomes insultive and it turns me off. I’m so tired of it….being Virgo…I like manners n laid back, easy going ppl so idk what to do with him..

  14. Am a scorpio girl that just reconnected with a cancer guy.we grew up together and he gave me my first kiss even but I moved and then he went back to his base in London and am in Africa .we reconnected via Facebook and met when he was back home.we clicked really fast and he was so nice and I even met the family and they loved me and they showed me they love me as a gf to their son.thing is me and him we into each other but not exclusive yet.i asked before he went back an he said we should get to know each other first and let it flow which I agreed to.he even made me promise there was no one but him and he would be back in 8months.the thing is now am in love with him and he has just refused to call.i got pissed once and told him on it which he apologized and I don’t want to look like I nag by always reminding him when he doesn’t even when he says he would.when I initiate the call he replys and sometimes give excuses and tell me how sorry he his that he has not called and even sometimes promise to call back but never does.i try to not be clingy but still go out of my way to call and when I call he talks normal and ask about everything and listens and is still sweet but I want the attention which am not gettin.its his birthday on june24 and have things planned out I want to send but am scared that might mean am too clingy and I don’t know if he’s not just into me that’s why he’s not calling or making promises he never fufilles.we just been together for 1month plus now.

  15. I need help with cancer man. We have known one another over a year and we have experienced some highs and lows. Each time he goes MIA and ignores any form of communication from me. Well this time I have decided to finally stop reaching out to him. Tomorrow will make four weeks of me not contacting him.Let me point out he stopped communicating with me in May and when he did reach out to me it was here in there up until I stopped reaching out to him. He told me he wasn’t interested in being in a relationship however when we interact with one another it is as if we are a couple.I am confused as to why he would he say he doesn’t want to be in a relationship but yet he doesn’t want to hear or think I am with someone else.We call each other lovey dovey names as so on. He told me he was moody and he always told me the more I get to know him I would get use to him going MIA. The passive behavior is very hurtful and when he is on one of those moods he shuts me out and ignores me. I have heard and read just give them space and they will reappear. Could someone please give me some advice in how to really deal with a cancer man?

  16. If he is married let it be. Cancers will test u. You aren’t showing trust worthiness if u r willing to come between him,kids and wife. He will love them and never leave, on his own accord..

  17. Nichola Cole says:

    I’m dating a cancer man over 3 months now we have him call me the three weeks I try everything I tried texting him say Hi how are you I miss you no reply he’s been silent what do I do I don’t know if the relationship is finished or is going I’m very confused I’m Libra

  18. Hey guys,my main question is White do cancer males always go silent after the first month of the relationship????!!! I am so confused right now I was talking to this cancer man last month I think he started talking in the end of May but in another country and I’m in Jamaica what is going on I mean we were good and everything yes there was a little problem when is cousin came on to me and I told him, I don’t know what his cousin said to him but when he got over to where he lived he called me and was asking me about what happened between me and his cousin which I answered nothing and he asked are you sure then I replied yeh I am sure nothing happened between us. Well after that everything was okay I called you last week Friday to talk to him but he said he was busy then he said to me that I don’t have to come with me to a family to check up on him but he doesn’t always at his phone and he works a lot so I said okay and I didn’t call you back until Tuesday I gave him a three-day page fore after that confusing because I was trying to call in computer and up until now I am not getting his phone I am confused at this point I don’t know what is going on who is head. I need to know the game and I am giving you the confusion that upset and angry and sad I don’t even know what time moment but I need to know what is going on can someone else please I am not that useful upon today cuz I tried calling you today I tried calling yesterday I don’t know what is happening is not answering any of my car for the funny thing is I am also wondering if something is wrong with this phone because his WhatsApp is saying that his last seen was from Sunday and I didn’t start calling until Tuesday up until now his whatts app last seen is still saying last week sunday I’ve not seen him on WhatsApp. So I’m wondering if something is wrong with his phone. Sigh help please

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