Do you ever wonder why the person you’re attracted to isn’t reciprocating your feelings? Or why the person who you couldn’t care less about keeps following you around like a lost puppy? We can look to the placements of our Venus and Mars for answers to these (and other) questions. Which sign Venus is in tells us our ideal of love, how we attract (and express) love, and how we want to receive love. The sign in which Mars falls tells us how we exert our energy to attain what attracts us.
Here’s a rundown of how feminine Venus and masculine Mars work together as a team to help us get (Mars) what we want (Venus) in matters of love and sex (keep in mind that most people have Venus and Mars in different signs, so mix-and-match “teammates” is highly likely).
Disclaimer: There are others astrological indicators of love and sex styles, but this entry is only discussing Venus and Mars.
Note: In a woman’s chart, her Venus sign represents her love style, while her Mars sign represents the type of man that makes her feel … lusty. In a man’s chart, his Venus sign represents the woman in his fantasies, while his Mars sign represents how he tries to persuade a woman to choose him (for sex, love, whatever).[notpremise]
Venus in Aries: believes love should happen at first sight; likes independent, go-getters; enjoys chasing and being chased; attracts love by inspiring/encouraging suitors to pursue and “win” her; flirts by teasing and picking fights; expects to be #1 in the relationship (and in her partner’s life) or will lose interest quickly; arguing and friendly competition is an aphrodisiac
Mars in Aries: boldly pursues object of affection using a direct approach; actively demonstrates his prowess in anything, acts adventurous, and is more than willing to compete for affection; arguing and/or physical fighting is instant foreplay; initiates a lot of right-now, anywhere-goes quickie sex
Venus in Taurus: believes love should come after a lot of long-term consideration; likes (and is impressed by) wealthy people; attracts love by being emotionally stable and having consistent habits; flirts by providing physical comfort; wants to feel secure in relationships and “know where this is going”; rich, comfort foods, receiving massages, listening to music, and fragrances that smell like something edible (mmm vanilla!) are aphrodisiacs
Mars in Taurus: slowly pursues the object of affection using a persistent approach; acts like the typical strong, silent type; talks about his goals/plans or shows off his nice possessions when he’s attracted to someone, and may even present his credit report as proof of his financial stability and ability while asking for a date or during a marriage proposal (yes, I’m exaggerating here); gives massages, long embraces, and slow kisses as foreplay; initiates steady, lasts-all-night sex
Venus in Gemini: believes love should mean never having to say, “I’m bored”; likes quotable, multifaceted people who have lots of diverse interests; attracts love by being infinitely entertaining; flirts by sharing thoughts & feelings and assigning pet names; wants 24/7 communication accessibility in relationships; variety, unpredictability, and verbal/written expressions of love are aphrodisiacs
Mars in Gemini: sporadically pursues object of affection using a now-you-see-me-now-you-don’t approach; attracts attention by making clever observations and extending invitations to fun and/or interesting events; provides playful, sarcastic teasing, writing/reading erotic letters, and sexually suggestive phone conversations as foreplay; initiates quick, multiple-session sex
Venus in Cancer: believes love should be nurturing; likes people who need mothering (or who are mothering) and are appreciative of her efforts; attracts love by making people feel cozy and sheltered; expresses love by feeding and/or cooking for someone, remembering preferences, giving thoughtful tokens of affection; wants interdependence in relationships; emotional bonding and cuddling are aphrodisiacs
Mars in Cancer: haltingly pursues object of affection using a zig-zag, sideways, 2-steps-forward-1-step-backward approach; acts shy and quiet, but will adamantly defend a loved one against outsiders to show interest; providing a shoulder to lean (or cry) on, hugs, and cooking for someone/taking someone out to dinner are foreplay; initiates cuddling-that-hopefully-leads-to-sex sex
Venus in Leo: believes love should ALWAYS consist of romance, drama, fun, and loyalty; likes people who stand out in socially acceptable ways (e.g., extremely attractive, owns/wears impressive things, speaks dramatically, has unique creative talents, etc.); attracts love by playing up strengths and downplaying weaknesses, and inspiring chivalry; flirts by complimenting; wants consistent (inconsistent doesn’t count!), emotionally-moving displays of appreciation and gratitude in relationships; receiving awe-inspiring gifts and positive, focused attention from an audience (e.g., mirrors, cameras, other people in the room) are aphrodisiacs (Btw, it’s no coincidence that this Venus description is the longest of them all. *wink*)
Mars in Leo: enthusiastically pursues object of affection using a confident, showy approach; acts like he’s the best at whatever, whenever, wherever ALL THE TIME, his gallantly dramatic displays of affection, his flattery, his style of presentation, his…well, just being with HIM in all of his glory is the foreplay, this Mars placement is the rock & roll icon and his lover better act like his groupie or else; initiates look-at-me, I’m-on-stage sex
Venus in Virgo: believes love should involve making a commitment to take care of someone else; likes hard-workers who pay attention to details (conversely, is also attracted to flawed, disorganized partners that need fixing); attracts love by handling all of the “dirty work” in a partner’s life; flirts by making analytical observations, self-deprecating humor, or offering self-improvement advice; wants to feel needed and useful in relationships; good hygiene, a neat appearance, and an orderly environment are aphrodisiacs
Mars in Virgo: methodically pursues object of affection using a logical, organized approach; demonstrates ability to efficiently execute plans and complete tasks correctly to impress; spends a lot of time translating ideas into reality by making sure every seduction detail is just right; initiates technically proficient, nervous-tension-relieving sex
Venus in Libra: believes love should = 50/50 partnership + 24/7 romance; likes attractive, intelligent, and sociable people; attracts love by being charming company, understanding and attentive; expresses love through consideration and negotiating compromises, and thinking in “us” and “we” terms; f
lirts indiscriminately for attention and popularity; wants equality, romance, and lots of attention in relationships; beauty, making plans as a couple, and the usual romantic clichés (such as rose petals on the bed and long, moonlit walks on the beach) are aphrodisiacs
Mars in Libra: indirectly pursues object of affection using a classy approach; attracts love by being gracious, intellectually stimulating, and presenting ideas as win-win situations; foreplay is poetry, dinner, dancing, conversation, kissing, tickling, and soft love-bites; initiates romantic, sugar-and-spice “lovemaking” (Someone with Venus in Libra probably coined this term.)
Venus in Scorpio: believes love should be passionate, intense, and life-altering; likes to associate with powerful people whose sexuality comes in contradictory layers (e.g., dresses provocatively but is a virgin, looks understated but moves like a stripper in private); expresses love by keeping a mate’s secrets, developing an emotional bond, and not wanting to share the partner’s affection; flirts through seduction; wants to have control and trust in a relationship; a strong sex drive, instant chemistry, intensity, and loyalty are aphrodisiacs
Mars in Scorpio: obsessively pursues object of desire using a strategic approach; attracts love by getting people to let down their guards, providing emotional therapy, and delivering on unspoken promises of provocative sex; foreplay is continuous, penetrating eye contact, caressing, and anything oral; initiates all-consuming, us-against-the-world sex
Venus in Sagittarius: believes love should bring happiness, great times, and good luck; likes outgoing, intelligent, independent, adventurous people; attracts love by being friendly, fun-loving, generous, and free-spirited; flirts through friendly conversation and making someone laugh; wants freedom, honesty, few expectations, and undefined commitment in a relationship; visiting exotic places, meeting foreign people, exploring foreign cultures, and different accents are aphrodisiacs
Mars in Sagittarius: optimistically pursues object of affection using a direct approach; acts like a daredevil, plays practical jokes, or extends and wins challenges to an athletic competition to impress someone; laughter and getting naked is foreplay; initiates spontaneous, outdoorsy, on-vacation sex
Venus in Capricorn: believes love should make people keep their word; likes responsible, successful people who can help with achieving aspirations; attracts love by being dependable and loyal; shows affection by honoring commitments and not leaving the relationship; flirts by getting straight to the point, assessing a potential mate’s value, and showing off their dry wit as they feel more comfortable; wants a solid commitment from the right person in relationships; knowing what’s coming next is an aphrodisiac
Mars in Capricorn: gradually pursues object of affection using a goal-oriented approach; acts very self-assured, proper, and guarded when trying to impress someone; a seduction game plan, dominant/submissive role-playing, and spanking is foreplay; initiates straight-to-the-nitty-gritty sex
Venus in Aquarius: believes love should be dessert with friendship as the main entrée; likes free-spirited, eccentric people who aren’t afraid to go against the status quo; attracts love by being friendly to everyone; flirts by sharing unusual ideas and opinions; wants a best friend, intellectually stimulating company and emotional detachment in relationships; discussing new, inventive ways to have sex is an aphrodisiac
Mars in Aquarius: determinedly pursues object of affection using an original approach; differentiates himself by talking about his principles, beliefs, pet causes, and idiosyncratic preferences when attempting to impress; trying something different is foreplay; initiates taboo, off-the-wall sex
Venus in Pisces: believes love should be a perfect blend of an intuitive, spiritual bond and romance; likes nonjudgmental, creative people who think and communicate in imaginative ways; attracts love by being infinitely compassionate and seeing the best in people; flirts by developing and acknowledging a special connection; wants empathy, kindness, and sensitivity in relationships; dreamy kisses that cause tingles, foot massages, bubble baths, and mind-altering substances or practices are aphrodisiacs
Mars in Pisces: secretly pursues object of affection using a passive approach; impresses by knowing the right thing to do or say to make someone feel better, sharing psychic insights, and displaying creative talents; dancing, playing music, discussing dreams/innermost feelings, and generally pleasing the other person is foreplay; initiates pleasant vibes, which lead to transcendental, out-of-body-experiences sex.
Since most people don’t have Venus and Mars in the same sign, I’ll give an example of a mix-and-match Venus and Mars “team.” A man with Venus in Libra and Mars in Virgo would most likely be attracted to a beautiful woman with social graces. So far, his Venus & Mars would work well together in that regard, because both Libra and Virgo value keeping up good appearances and following proper etiquette. However, he might experience indecision over whether to woo her by planning their first date down to the tiniest detail (Virgo Mars) or let her make the plans because he really wants her to have a good time on their date (Libra Venus).
Now that we know how Venus and Mars work together, how can we tell the difference between falling in love and falling in lust? How does your Venus and Mars work as a team to help you get what you want in relationships?[/show_to]
About the Author
Jara Dan-Fodio has been gazing at the sky and observing people all of her life. After reading her first astrology book that went beyond the 12 zodiac signs 15 years ago, the patterns she noticed began to make sense. Although she dabbles in vocational, predictive and electional astrology upon request, her favorites are depth astrology and synastry. She’s an eternal student of life and astrology is just one of her many teachers. You can find more of this 8th houser’s astro-notes at Random Astrology or Twitter.