How does the Leo girl win the heart of a Cancer?

Let’s move past the fact that these two signs are traditionally incompatible. An outgoing Leo may very well be attracted to a sensitive Cancer, especially if she has Venus in the water sign that precedes her Sun sign. (Venus doesn’t travel very far from the Sun, and Leo follows Cancer on the zodiac wheel.)

Leo is not going to win Cancer’s affection by being the life of the party and demanding all his attention. Nor will her excessive pride endear him. In short, she has to turn down the heat.

Fire and Water

Leo is fire, Cancer is water. Leo doesn’t want to put on such a high flame that Cancer dries up his emotional reserves. Rather, bringing him to a low boil is the ideal effect towards which she should aim.

Fortunately, Leos give as well as they receive, and if the lioness can provide warmth to Cancer’s hearth, she will drive some of the mustiness out of his home. Modulation of the thermostat is key, for a Leo set to “11” will drive the crab into his shell. Leo may have boundless energy, but Cancer needs to conserve.

Sun and Moon

Leo is ruled by the Sun, Cancer by the Moon. The Sun is an everpresent globe, always available to provide heat. The Moon fluctuates, appearing different every night. Part of him thrives on the light of the Sun, yet he needs that bit of darkness to collect moisture and delve into his own mysteries.

A Leo girl will win his heart if she can accept the inconsistency of his moods, and not demand that he reflect her light back to her if he’s in a new moon phase.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. NotAnonymous says:

    I’m a Leo girl and I had a brief “thing” with a Cancer–it was awful!! An emotional train wreck for both of us, and we weren’t even very committed to each other. I (inadventantly) hurt and rejected him. He lied to me early on (he had a girlfriend–he said she was his ex! SHE thought they were still together. I never knowingly fool around with someone else’s boyfriend.) He spent the whole time we knew each other after I said I “needed to think” making me feel bad by oozily moving in on other girls at parties. And then he would come back and guilt trip me and say he was acting out of hurt because he had “deep feelings” for me and I had hurt him.


    I have a really watery chart, including a Cancer moon, but I am happier with fire and air signs.

  2. Jara aka Blah Blah says:

    Unfortunately, an immature Cancer can be very emotionally manipulative.

  3. Yeah. And often with a Cancer, he might not even be aware that he’s being manipulative. I think all water signs can be emotionally manipulative. The only good thing about a Scorpio is that he’s likely to be well aware of his manipulation.

  4. Jara aka Blah Blah says:

    Does being aware of one’s ability to emotionally manipulate others make the tendency to do so better than those who aren’t aware of what they’re doing?

  5. Sometimes yes, actually. Bc if you’re aware, you can stop it or you can modulate it. You can also take responsibility of something that you’re aware of. If you’re in denial, you’re much less likely to take responsibility and so you’re likely to blame the other person instead. Or you can just realize: Hey, I do have this tendency to be manipulative so I better think about what I’m about to do and try to take the high road.

    I think it’s very frustrating when someone projects their bad behavior unto me.

    And sometimes being aware of one’s character flaws make these less disruptive bc one is owning them. For instance, when I just accepted that I had a bad temper and that I’m absent-minded and that I could be controlling, I stopped hating myself as much and stopped metaphorically stubbing my toe against those behaviors. I am still prone to them but they’re less likely to explode in my face and in others’ faces, if that makes any sense. I think I just mixed metaphors there but you know what I mean.

    So, it’s only better if one wants to take the high road and is willing to change. Otherwise no, it’s worse, obviously.

    But you know, now that I think about this, one of the things that gets to me is how often people’s bad behavior is excused with the phrase “s/he’s not aware of what s/he’s doing”. And then people just kinda move on and don’t even bother to let the person know that, hey, what you just did sucks, bub. They just kinda let the person go on his merry way. Bc I think in a way, that excuse of being “unaware”, makes it easier for us to forgive the person and thus by forgiving him or her, we don’t have to confront him/her and we also buy into the notion that we’re the better party bc we “forgive.” When, in truth, oftentimes we’re being lazy and cowardly about not standing up for ourselves. After all, if we don’t let someone know that s/he did something wrong, s/he’s more likely to keep doing it, not just to others but to other people. It’s like we teach that person that s/he can get away with shit. And that’s messed up! As far as I’m concerned.

    But that has nothing to do with the question at hand. Sorry to stray from the topic.

  6. Jara aka Blah Blah says:

    I agree with you that if I know about my emotionally manipulative tendencies (or other personality flaws), then I’m more likely to either stop or modify my behavior. However, that’s assuming that I actually WANT to stop or modify my behavior. What if the emotional manipulator sees absolutely nothing wrong with what he or she is doing and doesn’t want to change? Knowing about the behavior doesn’t make a difference then, because he or she is OK with the behavior. What if a person made a conscious decision to be manipulative as a means to getting what he or she wants? At least the person who isn’t aware of what he or she is doing isn’t doing it intentionally. Although, I see your point about how people tend to excuse blissfully ignorant people from having to deal with the consequences of their actions. I don’t like that, either.

    I think the difference between what we’re saying is based on how we’re looking at the situation. You’re asking the practical question of “Which method is more likely to lead to behavior modification?”, while I’m asking the philosophical question of “Which method is morally better?”

    Of course, I don’t know every Cancer and Scorpio in the world, but I’ve met more self-aware Cancers than self-aware Scorpios. Also, the Cancers I know feel more guilty about the result of their emotional manipulation once it’s brought to their attention. The Scorpios I know wouldn’t admit they’re manipulative (even though they know that I know they are) and wouldn’t change even if I did manage to convince them to admit to their manipulative tactics. And Pisces? Fuggedaboutit. I wanna see someone manage to get a Pisces to admit he or she is emotionally manipulative. That’ll happen the day after hell freezes over. 🙂

    “I think all water signs can be emotionally manipulative.”

    I’m not gonna call out any other signs (it might start a sign war lol), but I don’t think water signs own a monopoly on emotional (or mental, for that matter) manipulation.

  7. “And Pisces? Fuggedaboutit. I wanna see someone manage to get a Pisces to admit he or she is emotionally manipulative. That’ll happen the day after hell freezes over. :)”

    Soooo true!

    “I’m not gonna call out any other signs (it might start a sign war lol), but I don’t think water signs own a monopoly on emotional (or mental, for that matter) manipulation.”

    You’re right about this. I take back my previous statement.

    As to the rest of what you say: I said SOMETIMES being aware is better and it does depend on a decision to take the high road and want to change, as I did post above. I did say that if you consciously manipulate someone it’s bad.

    But is it always bad to be manipulative? I don’t know. Say you’re in a war or in a crisis situation and the person who has a say on whether you live or die can only be swayed if you manipulate them emotionally? Police detectives emply all sorts of manipulation in order to get information out of people unwilling to talk. I’m not talking about mental or physical torture, either. But there’s the whole good cop/bad cop cliche, it’s obviously manipulative. Is it bad? And should people choose to not be manipulative in such situations, just out of a higher standard?

    I’m going to be honest, if I’m in a life or death situation and I see that the only way to get out of it is to push the other person’s buttons, you bet your ASS I’m going to do it. And I’m saying this after years of wanting to live purely off my Pisces Moon that needed to be “saintly” (even though you and I agree that Pisceans can be very manipulative as well). I don’t care if that earns me moral demerits, either. In fact, my willingness to face my own subconscious manipulative tendencies made me less manipulatable.

    I think manipulative behavior is pretty much ingrained in humans. I’ve seen very little kids manipulate their parents, did they learn it from Mom and Pop or was it in the human chromosome? I don’t know. And manipulation can be used for good or for ill, no? I think perhaps yes. Does morality hinge only on intent or can we take outcome into account as well? If my manipulative behavior insures that 100 people get to live while my behaving purely will lead to their deaths (and we’ve all read enough real life war stories to know that this was often the case in wars), which is more moral?

    I don’t know if that addresses anything you pointed out but I do think that talking about morality is a tricky business, especially in North America. We live very cushy lives here, in comparison with the rest of the world and morality sure is easy when we don’t have to confront a lot of harsh shit in order to survive. I don’t want to justify bad behavior but when discussing morality in this framework, it just seems to me like it’s a theoretical blow-job, ya know? Something that makes us feel good about ourselves bc we can uphold the cherished fiction that we would be good, no matter what, when in reality, we’re protected from making harsh moral choices. I know this all sounds like I’m equivocating and I probably am but if you want to read someone who can convey ambivalence toward discussing morality, I suggest you read Joan Didion’s essay On Morality. It’s in her essay collection Slouching Toward Bethlehem.

    BUT, man, I’m getting away from astrology again. SORRY.

  8. Jara aka Blah Blah says:

    LOL@”I don’t care if that earns me moral demerits, either.” Fiesty!

    “In fact, my willingness to face my own subconscious manipulative tendencies made me less manipulatable.” Amen.

    I mostly reserve my powers of emotional manipulation for my work (marketing) and in face-to-face debates. Sometimes, I do it for self-interested reasons like with interviewers, cops and judges. On the whole, though, I consciously try to keep the manipulation to a minimum. Using my powers for good, and all that jazz.

    To bring your previous comment back to astrology, let’s try to create Joan Didion’s chart as best we can without exact birth time. 😉

    According to Wikipedia, she was born in Sacramento, CA on December 5, 1934 (wow, she’s old).

  9. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    @the woman who’s “had it with [her] cancer man”: I deleted your comment due to profanity. Please post again without cuss words if you wish.

  10. Cancer female that completely loves her Leo lady. The good and the bad we are perfect for eachother

  11. mike the flamin cancer says:

    i am a cancer male with and aries moon haha yup growing up was hell but its worth it, i am one of the few cancers that can handle fire signs haha
    im madly in love with my leo gf, she love how i can be both aggressive and sensitive at the same time, she gets me and i get her, we do fight at times and it can get a lil intense but we handle it right then and there, but the main thing is that we get along, ive been with her for 6 year, 3 years into our relationship we moved in together, sex is spontanious and awsome, she attacked me while i was in the shower one time haha, and she never had to turn down the heat, she is her and i am me, i do have to admit some cancer men can be nothing but whiney lil pricks, well the insecure ones haha ive been there but i grew up, some advise to cancer men “man the f up” your maken cancers look bad haha

  12. have a comment to make about cancerian men.
    I met mine almost a year now, never have any interest in him, but now and then he would call and say hi, still no interest.
    This year he called me up and invite me to dinner which I accepted, let me explain this part, when I met him last year he have a child which was one year and was not with the mother, he said she drinks and they cannot get along, this was why I was kinda surprise when he called me up, because I know his baby mama drama.
    However, we went to dinner and we keep seeing each other quite frequently, he told me he wanted to have a relationship with me that he is ready now, he was the most giving person, he would cook for me etc, he is a home body, but so am I, I am a Leo.
    Well, one thing lead to another we get closer, now the guy is like a total different person, everything that was said before we started making love is been twisted and if asked a question he is ready with an answer.
    I never catch him in a lie before, but I know he is a lier, whenever I am around him and his baby mother called he would say her name for me to shut up until he’s off the phone, at time you can know when a question is ask to the other person on the other line, and she will ask him if he’s alone and he would say YES. MMMMMMMMMMMM that made me so mad, but one of his reason why he don’t want her to know that he’s seeing someone is beacuse she will use the baby to get back at him by him not seeing the child, which I’d understand up to a point BUlL SHIT, but then I realize he still have feeling for her and do not want to hurt her.
    Like I said I am a LEO and we have very little patience, but when I get up set it will not be pretty, yes I am still with him which is coming to a conclusion at this time, they are very little idiot women left on this earth and I am not one of them, he will see the other side of this calm LEO woman in a minute.
    The lies and the excuses about his baby’s mother are so transparent, he will never be able to move on, I know that for a fact, at times I think he’s screwing both of us, I don’t trust him and right about now the hatred that I have for him is just boiling, I will be dumping him before he does, even though he always say he do’nt want to lose my friendship too bad he need to grow up and be a man, and did I say his baby mother will be calling him at 1-2AM in the moring asking him where he is and with whom and nothing is wrong with the child and he is not setting her straight, I have never seen nothing like this in my whole entire life, but all things must come to an end.
    Never again will I date a Cancerian, I have no time for them.
    I am not even going to ask what should I do here, because I know exactly what I am going to do.
    Good Luck to all, with all the liers and cheaters of the CANCERIANS.

  13. “Never again will I date a Cancerian, I have no time for them.”

    As if all cancerians are dying just to date Leos, move along and take your big ego with you. There are better suited women in the zodiac for us…..

  14. I’m a leo girl and I love my Cancer man but like I said before my venus is in Cancer and my juno is in Scorpio and that makes a big difference!

  15. me and my Leo…yeah. his venus is in cancer, mine is in leo. a lot of attraction, tons…

    our mercury is in Leo- same sense of humor, sometimes ‘telepathic thinking’, we understood each other just by looking in the eyes. pretty cool this mercury thing i must say.

    his ascendant is in scorpio, mine is in cancer- water signs. great. however it brought about the moods and the mental thoughts scorpios have….couldn’t figure him out sometimes-

    Lilith- mine is in Gemini, his in Aquarius- good stuff here as well.

    Pluto- mine in scorpio, his in Libra. water and air, uhm.

    ascendental nodes in fire- mine in aries, his in sagittarius.

    the Cancer Venus…now i don’t know what to think. it’s hard to see someone else acting all ‘cancerian’ even for me! god we’re such a mess sometimes! i felt like he wasn’t telling me what the problem was and expected me to guess, well i can’t fix it if you don’t tell me…

  16. @ mike the flamin cancer:

    I am a cancer man. How can I be a “man the f up”? What factors a cancer need to grow. I am trying to evaluate myself.


  17. AquaTrainer says:

    Ema Kah and Jara aka Blah Blah,

    I just now read this post and it is true. My ex was a pisces sun, cancer moon, and gemini rising…..

    Good traits, yes, but at whose expense?

    Lied to? yes… Manipulated? yes….Did the role-switch on me? yes…. Accused me of having HIS flaws? yes… Flirty and flighty? YES…. ugh. He’s almost 31 and is now with a 23 yr old………..Need I say more?

  18. AquaTrainer says:

    oh, let me add on emotionally abusive. I got the triple hitter, didn’t I? And he came in the nicest package with the nicest personality I’VE EVER SEEN!!!! This guy could rule the world as a con artist.

  19. I’m a Cancer male, born in June, and I was actually telling a friend recently that I can only date other Cancers if they are also born in June, or born close to the Leo sign. In my experience dealing with early July Cancers, I find them to be very clingy, manipulative, and moody. I can be emotional just like any other Cancer, but I tend to let it roll over; unless I’m willing to cut a person off, I won’t stress alot of things. I believe that because I’m born close to Gemini that I tend to be more laid-back and adventurous. I’m also always looking for change and something better in life, and thus hate being tied down. I consider other June cancers to also be chill, fun, adventurous, and generous–qualities I look for in a companion. I’m also very drawn to Leos, as some of the most fun and exciting girls I’ve ever met are Leos. I think there are different types of Cancers, and whether a Cancer and Leo are compatible depends on the type of Cancer in the relationship.

    Does anyone else see a difference between Cancers born in June and Cancers born in July?

  20. I love it how water neutralizes fire. It brings the heat down to set the mode for a more intimate atmosphere. This is a great sign combination which truly compliments each other.

  21. I met a cancerian man in d year 2010.. He was my schoolmate.. I confessed my feelings for him 2 years back. At that time he said he didn’t reciprocate those feelings.. But still we did talk sometimes.. But now on this 1st august he said he would luv to date me.. N dat v vud make a cute couple.. But i told him that i used to like u a lot earlier n now i have my career to look up to.. So he said its alright and we’ll be just friends.. But that night we did flirt a lot.. After a week or so i asked him whether he was serious about his feelings so he said that lets not talk about it cos there is no point in talking about it.. Now i want to be in a relationship with him but he is now giving importance to his career n is telling me that ‘us’ cannot happen and that he cant wait for me.. N dat i’ll get a better guy.. Please help me!! I want him back.. His birthdate is july 13 if it helps..i am a leo with moon sign as gemini

  22. Cancer men……
    All LIARS
    Steer clear Leos

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