What to do when your Cancer man is angry at you

CancerAn angry Cancer man is not a pretty sight. He’ll withdraw into his shell and refuse to talk to you, or just bitch and complain (whine). Passive-aggressiveness is also common for a water sign that is famous for moving sideways.

More likely than not, he’s angry because you wounded his sensitive crabmeat, or your actions elicited his fierce protectiveness towards those he loves. It is natural to feel angry when you don’t feel safe.

Therefore, the first step towards reconciliation is acknowledging that you posed a threat, and that you will do everything you can to maintain Homeland Security. (And although our current President is a Cancer, do not follow his example. Torturing others to save your relationship is off limits!)

Talk is just talk, though. The Cancer man, as a member of the cardinal signs, prefers action over words. (A warm embrace counts more than verbal reassurance.) Your overtures should reflect a sincere desire to make things right. Cancer, ruled by the Moon, is an intuitive sign, and will be able to tell if you’re just going through the motions.

Cancer’s feelings of safety are based on emotions, not logic, so a home-cooked meal may indeed do the trick, provided he can taste the love. A cup of warm milk and a nice cuddle can also melt the Crab’s defenses.

Comment below: What would you do if a Cancer man were angry at you?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. Hey guys. He just watts apps me. He says he just wants to concentrate on work and his kids right now and don’t want a relationship or be attached to anyone.
    But he did suggest being friends and friends with benefits. Of course I said no and told him to let’s make a clean break.but he insists on both or either arrangement.
    I did warn him about us just being friends mean we can see eachother the same and even if it’s a FWB thing the sex ain’t gonna be the same because there will be no love or emotions involved. He wants it to be the same but doesn’t understand that I can’t. I can’t with him knowing that he doesn’t want me anymore.
    I know how cancer men operate. I spoke my mind and told him I know he only wants this for now till better comes along. He won’t admit it and I should let him know if I want to be with him tomorrow.
    All I can do is cry about it. I love him so much and waited on him to come back and this is what he proposing. Saying this is how he wants us to be.

  2. thorntongirl says:

    I was Fwb and we got closer but you still are walking on egg shells. I don’t know if it ‘ll turn out that way for you . Think on it at the very least you ‘ll have contact and some control. I mgs mine yesterday explaining that i found out my fb was hacked by a friend . He just got back to me asking why i wass talking about him and his son. At the end he still Saud delete his number and stay away from him and his family . Nice to know two years meant nothing to him

  3. I’m sure he didn’t mean that. Still think he will be back. I messaged mine and told him to forget it late last night because it’s too risky and I don’t want to get hurt again. He didn’t respond and disappeared again. He just doesn’t understand that I don’t want to be used. I explained to him about the hurt and pain he put me through. He just adamant to want a no strings attached FWB thing and all he wants to do is concentrate on taking care of his kids and his business.
    Don’t understand. If he so upset then why not propose this kind of relationship with someone else. Why do it with me when clearly I hurt him. He said fine let’s just be friends. I told him I don’t want to be his friend because friends talk about their problems and misunderstandings. Not disappear. He says I should call him and let him know if we having sex today. OMG! Didn’t I just say I don’t want to do either.
    Maybe I was hard on him but it’s mostly my frustration speaking. I’m just afraid that it just gonna be just that FWB then some where down the line he just moves on with someone else and disappear for good

  4. thorntongirl says:

    In my heart I think we ‘re done it’s been two months and he still said delete his number. It’s the privacy thing he thinks i was talking about him and his son.if he hadn’t off pit that part on the text I’d say we could discuss it and maybe get back together. If you cant be fwb then don’t do it. You’re feelings for him will fade and you can move on. Mine are but I still care

  5. What I realize with these men is that they just don’t listen. They too busy protecting themselves from the women that love them dearly and don’t even see that they are their own worse enemy.
    When they come into our lives they do invade our privacy by wanting to know everything that’s happening in our lives and our family but we can’t know anything about them. They just throw us scraps about themselves whenever and expect us to relax.
    They don’t even know that they are hurting us badly. I didn’t talk about the incident with us or the pic. If he didn’t bring it up then I didn’t. He just doesn’t want a relationship. But wants to continue seeing me for sex

  6. thorntongirl says:

    Yea the text was all about him scarey thing is he still said delete after a mth # good thing is he answered . Maybe i shouldn’t have mentioned issue . how do I get him back any one ???

  7. I am thinking about yours and what needs to be done. I just know he will be back. Just gonna take a longer time.
    I’ve decided not to meet my guy. I want to but just told him something came up at work. He wants to come to my house. But of course I reminded him about the FWB rule and it’s only fair that he doesn’t come to my home. Know he was upset but told him my personal space is reserved for whoever I’m in a serious relationship with. Of course I strayed away from the point and told him how close I was to the beach and that Im going on Sunday. I talk about doing things in my life that doesn’t include him because everything have changed at his request.i told him we will talk next week because I know he is a super busy person. Then I’m gone. Lol. He still there waiting for me to say something else. Nope. I’m done talking . He needs to now stay in his friends with benefits lane. I love him but OMG not going to accommodate him when he wants sex.
    With your guy I think he needs to see you. I would let him see me and ensure he sees me passing him looking all delicious and all.
    He is gonna want to know what’s up.
    Let him start to wonder about you and what you are up to. Just curiosity all will get him.

  8. thorntongirl says:

    You’re doing the right thing , if you do meet him do it in public or you’ll end up in bed and definitely make him chase you. You’re in a good position cuz he wants you. Mine doesn’t want me yea he answered my text but he still said to delete his number . I replied and haven’t heard back. We don’t work or live in same area. He does shift work and is all over the city. He doesn’t like ppl just going to his house cuz he s so private . This is the issue I invaded or rather my friend invaded his and his sons privacy now he wants me to stay away from his family and him and stop texting . I really don’t think he cares what I do orbever will.

  9. I understand exactly what you mean. I know where my guy l1ves but has never been there but says that he wants us to live together when his divorce is final.
    Everything now is just a mess but I have to protect my heart no matter what.
    I do intend on concentrating on me and improve and develop myself.
    I told him that I move outta town and he ready and willing to drive all the way out here. Lol. I just reminded him again of the FWB rule. I kinda enjoy sticking it to him like that.
    I’m sorry but in your case I would ensure that he sees me meeting and greeting people while I avoid and ignore him. He gonna want to know what you up to. As long as its somewhere public and the space is uncontroled by him.

  10. thorntongirl says:

    I’ve been to his house we we ‘re great for the last nine months spent nights there etc we ‘ve known each other for two years .this one incident messed everything up. He s very different from your cancer. There is no way I know where he is unless he’s at his house where he spends a lot of time I can’t force a meeting . Text is the only way and I don’t want to make him mad but he’s not understanding my side or trusting that I’m not sneaking around digging up info on his son and talking about him . I don’t know how to get him to want to talk to me .

  11. OK. I would try texting him again. Telling him everything in details.tell him you know what you did wrong and you shouldn’t have been on facebook in the first place???? but because of the death in your family you just wanted to reach out to everybody using that same medium and somehow while the news was spreading around his son’s personal page got caught up in it… How you are not sure. And ask him what he thinks you could possibly want to do with his son when you are already with him. Tell him simply that his son could have been your son and you wouldn’t do anything to hurt your own son.
    Ask him if he wants to breaks up tell you the real reason. I told my guy that I know he wants to break up because of someone and I know darn well it was the pic????.just change up the point and situation. That’s what I did with mine. I just avoided the topic after I explained myself and then turn it all around on him.
    Then finish the message with you going off elsewhere to have fun. Talk about it in details. Told my guy just now that Im going to the beach later tonight. He is assuming that I will be going with someone else ????that’s why he wants to come over into the next state plenty miles away just to see me. Leave it to a cancer guy that just want FWB to try ruin your plans. Lol. I ain’t going anywhere but he just hates that I will be having fun without them -plus he loves swimming and the beach.
    You should try that.

  12. thorntongirl says:

    He just mged me and said I was blaming him . That me and my boyfriend go into ppls lives and then blame him. I told him we were friends a but he wanted more got mad when I wouldn’t tell him about my cancer guy and went behind my back . This guy hacked my acct it wasny me . I looked back ibwas in my mom’s fb off mine since March. In July couldn’t get in it he had hacked it by then

  13. Oh my. That guy a stalker. You should report him. In the meantime get a new FB and block him from the get go.
    Your cancer guy sure is suspicious. Lol.
    This is just one of them that has to come back on his own. When I came back from overseas I was staying with friends for a while and my phone wasn’t back on as yet so I used their home phone. When my guy calls and my friends older brother answers he gets upset and believes that I am staying with a man. I spared no expense and moved just to keep the peace after two days of staying there.
    He is just jealous because he thinks this guy is your man and he extra upset because his son got involved and you made this intruder gain access.
    Girl you have to make a big come back

  14. thorntongirl says:

    He responded and said ” just stop talking/ mentioning me and my family” I told him ” done” he said thank you . Maybe we can build from here …I don’t know. I ‘ve been off fb since March and can’t get in it . I was hacked in July by that so called friend . Yea I he slipped that your boyfriend in the Convo pretty nicely huh. Now he knows I’m still single if he cares

  15. He is just really hurt. That’s because he really loves you. I realized that the deeper you hurt them the more withdrawn they become. I bet he still single too.
    Seeing him face to face is your way of getting through to him and when and if it does happen keep your cool. When they upset they tend to be insulting and verbally abusive. This is how they mask their pain.
    But you have to see him.

  16. thorntongirl says:

    He mged and asked if I was seeing this guy

  17. Tell him no definitely not. It’s the truth. Don’t try explaining to him again. Just change topic because he has been over it in head a million times since it happened. Don’t bring it up. Just keep the conversation light.

  18. thorntongirl says:

    I told him we never even held hands which is the truth. Was never attracted to the friend and I told him haven’t seen him since July which is the truth

  19. He so wants you back because he wouldn’t even want to know that. He upset also because he thinks you are sleeping with the guy. My cancer guy says that I cannot be with anybody else but him. I’m not sure if that’s a demand or a request.
    Just go slow. I told my cancer guy that I will talk to him next week. He at home now doing work but Im looking out for him calling or texting. Just leave it at that and tell him that you know he busy and don’t want to take anymore of his time

  20. thorntongirl says:

    I will, sounds like he s been single so I’m happy about that . I think if we see each other again I’ll have to gain some of his trust back . I think you’re right he thought I was dating this guy.

  21. Told you. They are very territorial. Mine thought when I came home I was living with some guy so I moved. He just learned that this morning. All divas sudden he wants to come over. I love him to pieces. But I have to pro my heart. I want us to be friends and move slow. Last night and this morning are the two most meaningful conversations that I’ve ever had with him. Its FWB that he wants. So I rather continue like this and see what happens.

  22. thorntongirl says:

    Sounds like it’s going the way you want it to. He just told me the last time he had sex was with me after he found out I ‘ve been a good girl

  23. I’m so happy for you. Turns out he probably wasn’t even upset about the FB thing. He was upset because of the guy. Lol. Girl just take it slow . Don’t rush because he is watching you. Plus you can take the opportunity to sit back and let him chase after you.

  24. thorntongirl says:

    I will our pattern is the same everytime he gets upset. He wants to know I haven’t been with anyone else and that he hasn’t . We are like metal and magnets

  25. It seems so. My guy is like that too. Pretends not to be jealous but yeah he is. It’s like he is suppose to be the only man in my life. Lol. He even gets upset if I take taxi because he doesn’t want me talking to any man but him.

  26. thorntongirl says:

    Yea if I’m out and I don’t say where he ‘ll ask if I’m on a date . If we fight and don’t see each othr for months he ‘ll ask if I’m seeing someone . Fear of rejection and looking like a fool

  27. My guy kinda toned down still with the accusations a bit where other men are concerned. He is very sexy and lovable so the ladies are always surrounding him. It upsets me because I know he is a really nice man once you get to know him. He says I need to curve my jealousy. Touche!!!! He was jealous as hell when I left the country. He even told me to stay and get married to some random guy. He doesn’t care one bit. Lol. I said OK. Thanks. And he disappeared for a few days and returned like nothing happened.

  28. thorntongirl says:

    Cancers are liked by ppl especially by women cuz they are a feminine sign. They nurture . When he says marry a random he wants you to say no I want only you . They test cuz they ‘re so insecure .

  29. I know that one was a test but it was fear also. He really thought I was never ever coming back.
    I think I would have missed him too much. Lol.

  30. thorntongirl says:

    I use to play games with him now I just tell him how I feel its easier I mean they aren’t going to change . They can t

  31. I know. They are really old fashioned especially when it comes down to their women. My man is a subscriber to less is perfect. He likes au natural beauty. Kinda miss him right now. It’s Saturday he is lost in some deep, deep thought fixing something in and around the house.
    Guess he planning his next stragedy especially that I didn’t go and meet him today

  32. thorntongirl says:

    Make him work for it. Mine is too he’s Italian God help me hahaha

  33. Oh my. Italian and a cancer. Girl you got a lot on your hands. Mine jus plain bossy and crazy lol. But I love him. Just wish he would stop being bossy like he still in the military.

  34. thorntongirl says:

    We texted for two hours , he wanted to see me I said no

  35. You can go and just talk. Don’t bring up the situation. I haven’t spoken to my cancer guy. I texting very late though because I know he already in bed. Just a simple good night and because I know he spent the whole day thinking and assessing I just told him that no matter what happens between us I will always love him. I hate that he is hurting so much. Missing him alot. A part of me feels that we should just be friends

  36. thorntongirl says:

    The situation in is over and done with we talked about it and it’s put to rest. Now you’re guy he needs to cut him self off from his ex unless it has to do with kids and divorce . He wants his cake and to eat it too m you’re doing the right thing . Friends only

  37. He did cut himself off from her. Of that Im sure. I know he wants to be free and just concentrate on his kids and job. I respect that.

  38. thorntongirl says:

    They don’t ask for help . I just keep offering do you know how happy I was when he let me do the dishes . That was a step forward for him letting me help and handing over control. The best thing to do is what you said be friends and build on that . The fwb shows he wants you in his life he just not ready for a full commitment .

  39. OK. I just want to take things slow. Emotionally I’m going through alot. I’m use to him being there. He just knows how to make things feel better. Like every thing going to be alright.
    I realize I have no reason to cry when I’m with him. Only when we are apart.
    I just don’t want to lose him. It’s like when he is gone he takes away all the warmth.

  40. Thortongirl and Shanmack I read your recent post and honestly this is the crap that bothers me with them.They are so hard on people and hold grudges for the slightest thing·Nobody is perfect but yet yet they makepeople feel as if one wrong move and all to the pits·I have upset my cancer guy more than once and each time he goes mia it feels so final·I am now to the point where I am not as emotional as I use to be when he left this time around·I have not seen him in four months and have not heard from him much during that time·Yes I miss,think,want him but I am done chasing him and doing all the reaching out·Ladies my personal opinion for you both is to go on with your life·If it is meant to be it will be·Do not give them control over your heart,thoughts,emotions·It appears cancer men enjoy fwb!It is crazy because when we are together we behave as a couple and we always holding hands,kissing,hugging.We call one another lovey dovey names on the phone and in person and when things appear to off to a good start……bam he disappear.The last time he saw me he told me he was not looking for a relationship however he said he wanted to take a trip with me and other things that let me know he is into me more than he wants to say.He showed me he was territorial and asked me some questions.Not sure why he felt the need to ask me certain questions if he was not wanting to be in a relationship.Cancer men are nice but their cold hearted and very one sided.It appears all three have similar patterns and they fleet whenever an issue arises.Ask yourself if he is worth the hassle and if you did date this person would you feel secure in the relationship.

  41. thorntongirl says:

    Just stay strong and do what is best for you. Has anybody asked you out ? Even if it’s as friends that helps

  42. Hey. Welcome back. How I look at is every sign is different and they all have their short comings. I ain’t perfect either. I had a sagg man years ago who I was in a 3 year relationship with. He didn’t give me the love or attention my sagg man gave me. He was very good at being there physically and not emotionally just like the cancer man except when the cancer disappears he is gone with another woman and ensures that I see him…. Hell he even brings them into our home. When he got tired of that game he just up and left. I came home and his suitcases are gone. He did this twice to me. The third time he left for two years. My cancer guy gave me the strength to leave him and move on with my life. I was doing it but didn’t realise. He helped me to grow.
    I know the cancer man ain’t easy. But they are good men for women who are all about family. They disappear when they feel hurt and threatened. I’ve had my fair share of men but I didnt know real love, trust and friendship until I met my cancer guy. The things people talk about in a relationship they take it even more seriously. You know the amazing feeling you get with them. It’s like none other. It’s just that the relationship takes tons of work. If it’s ment to be let it be if not then you gained a wonderful friend.

  43. thorntongirl says:

    I dont think it’s our behaviour but the way they feel the insecurities they feel. Member everything is magnified. Mine has come a long way he doesn’t hide over everything . We know each other a lot better and more trust is there. We know how to approach things with each other. Remember to make them think it was their idea and they have the control. They ‘re still men this last thing with us was big we ‘ve talked about it and are moving on. The only other thing you can do is leave him behind . We ‘ve all age a choice to stay and deal with their oddities

  44. Nah I just threw myself into work. Just concentrating on me alone.
    Mrskinyo you should take the initiative and probably try contacting your guy. It wouldn’t hurt. His being gone for so long depends on what happened betweeen you too. It wouldn’t help to really talk about it. That’s what this forum is about

  45. thorntongirl says:

    I contacted mine after a few months he resisted at first but we ‘re talking . Dont forget they like ALOT of alone time im a little more social so it was hard at first but i think giving him the space he needed had him wanting to be together more often

  46. Exactly. My guy suggested FWB with me and I told myself that if he was seeing someone else he would have been long gone and started over with that person. He just really hurt and confused right now and doing what crabs do. He is still thinking, sorting, processing, and watching.
    It hurts and frustrates me alot. But it comes with the package.
    It’s like this with any sign man. They all in a way operate like this it just emotions runs deeper with a cancer man

  47. thorntongirl says:

    You got it . You also have to see if your sign is compatible. I’m a Taurus so we gel well. It you’re not it’s going to be a harder journey

  48. Yes they love alot of alone time. But they do worry about what you are doing and who you are with.
    Yup. The mind of a cancer man. They too busy thinking that they don’t even realize that what they need is right there infront of them. Sometimes they drive the woman away for good and then drown themselves with regrets. Some people say they always come back but sometimes they full a too much pride and you actually have to initiate contact first. This is because they know they are wrong to do what they did and just won’t admit it.

  49. thorntongirl says:

    They do over think. Remember it’s how they feel they don’t often make the first move not because they’re wrong but how they feel

  50. Yeah well my man and I are not compatible. I’m a Libra. But I like to think of my little crab as the one that brings this air sign back down a notch. Libras are about balance and once something is unbalanced we are not gonna stick around. Obviously he is putting something in the scale at times to keep things balanced hence the FWB thing.
    I’ve learned alot from him like the true meaning of certain emotions and how to project and control them. This situation between us could be worse because we Libra ladies can be upset.
    Each sign for me can work as long as there is mural respect and understanding of eachother. Sacrifices have to be made. It’s about letting go and forgiving mistakes and loving eachother for all their strengths and weaknesses.
    It’s just work….

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