What to do when your Cancer man is angry at you

CancerAn angry Cancer man is not a pretty sight. He’ll withdraw into his shell and refuse to talk to you, or just bitch and complain (whine). Passive-aggressiveness is also common for a water sign that is famous for moving sideways.

More likely than not, he’s angry because you wounded his sensitive crabmeat, or your actions elicited his fierce protectiveness towards those he loves. It is natural to feel angry when you don’t feel safe.

Therefore, the first step towards reconciliation is acknowledging that you posed a threat, and that you will do everything you can to maintain Homeland Security. (And although our current President is a Cancer, do not follow his example. Torturing others to save your relationship is off limits!)

Talk is just talk, though. The Cancer man, as a member of the cardinal signs, prefers action over words. (A warm embrace counts more than verbal reassurance.) Your overtures should reflect a sincere desire to make things right. Cancer, ruled by the Moon, is an intuitive sign, and will be able to tell if you’re just going through the motions.

Cancer’s feelings of safety are based on emotions, not logic, so a home-cooked meal may indeed do the trick, provided he can taste the love. A cup of warm milk and a nice cuddle can also melt the Crab’s defenses.

Comment below: What would you do if a Cancer man were angry at you?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. thorntongirl says:

    I hope so. They both want the control when they don’t get it they sulk and disappear knowing if we come back we ‘ll do what they want cuz we know they ‘ll leave again. They ‘re children . They also see rejection in everything we disagree with

  2. Yeah they love to say its over. But what I find is in their head its never ever over.
    But it’s definitely the facebook thing for you and he felt his son got hurt or exploited in some way by you.
    As I said make sure when he does come back you look like a million bucks and you are super busy.
    I think if my guy really wanted me gone he would have blocked me and told me stop calling. Honestly I know he assuming with his crazy self that I’m gone with some other man because I stopped texting him. It’s like when your kid runs away because they think you love them enough and even though they want to come home they still won’t because they feel you don’t love love or want them and little do they know you home driving yourself crazy about where they are and if they Ok. That’s how my man behave.
    Lol. I always wanted a baby and he said he wants one with me too and we were seriously working on it before I left.

  3. Yeah they don’t take disagreements well especially if you don’t see it their way.
    Personally I don’t have a problem doing whatever they say as long as it doesn’t hurt me but I just have to make decisions for myself because at the end of the day he still married and as much as I love him I can’t make certain adjustments to my life to suit him and then he just disappears like what he doing now. He wanted me to come home and made promises to me and here I am starting over again ALL BY MY SELF.
    Plus suppose he up and decide that for the best interest of his child he returns back to the mother of his child and sort out their marriage.
    He just doesn’t understand that’s it’s my happiness at the end of the day that really matters.

  4. thorntongirl says:

    It was the fb thing . Your guy needs to finish his business ie divorce before he starts another family with you that’s for sure . He ‘ll figure it out and so will you .

  5. thorntongirl says:

    They are all very back and forth. He wants his cake and eat it too. You’re doing the right thing take him back once he is done with his ex

  6. Actually the baby making thing was happening before I found out that he was married. Another reason why I left too.
    I don’t want to have children with anybody’s husband as much as I love him.
    In all truth this divorce thing really stress him. He really wants to be Gerrit his wife refuse to sign papers and accept settlement. She wants half the business which he started when they just got married and he told me straight up that ain’t gonna happen because that’s everything he works for plus he left her with everything when he separated from her. He starting over too with two boys and he just one big emotional wreck about it.
    I do sense that he not fully over her and he was forced to move on because she hurt him in front of his child so that one is a violation because his child comes first.
    I just don’t want to be caught up in all that.
    I did suggest that he sort it out and then we can start over when I come home. He disappears again. But I dont think he the problem. His wife won’t accept settlement because the money he offering not enough so everytime they go court he gets depressed because he gets his hopes up that it’s finally gonna be over and she doesn’t sign papers plus he scared of losing his son too. He told me that he just can’t be without him ever and she threatens to take him away all the time.

  7. thorntongirl says:

    Wow you’re in a heck of a mess . That’s a lot to take on. I think he needs to include you at all times do he has someone in his corner. My guy was having problems with his wife the first time he told me to delete his numbers . That s why he apologized and told me I didn’t deserve the treatment and was a good person. I think he feels the same but there are small kids involved in your case. The wife is easier to leave but the kids I get it. Maybe you should reach out to him and let him know you’re there for him

  8. I so want to reach out to him more than ever but it’s hard with so much personal issues between us,him disappearing again and his wife knowing who I am and not only has she called me but I know she sent that picture to my page to create troubles.
    I want to be there for him and when he told about the fight he had tears in eyes but I couldn’t be there for him because he just told me that one day when he was taking me home and then he just shut down when I started to ask questions. So it’s hard and a cancer man is already born with built in trust issues and this marriage has really really reenforced that.
    What his wife is after now is money. Money which he is working so hard for just to care for his kids. His oldest was from his first marriage and in college. He only has one child with his current wife. A beautiful little boy and she using him to get money out of his dad to do hair and nails and go clubbing. Kmt.. Sighs

  9. thorntongirl says:

    He s been married twice and has two kids and is talking to you about marriage and kids hummmm . I see an ugly pattern. Where did you meet this man?

  10. I met him last year. He was doing business with my employer. He asked me out right there and then and I said no of course because he seemed close to my then employer that I didn’t like because he also throwing racial comments at me and I just plain wasn’t in the mood.
    He asked me again and I said yes. It’s just lunch so I went and the lunch date was OK. Then we started texting and talking to each other every day till I started getting intimate and very personal because he started to tell me things about himself and thats super personal so I knew he was really intrested because I know I have to be seriously committed for years to a person to be so up front with personal stuff.
    His first wife he did explain after I got upset that he was married and left. He just told me everything. His first he said was because he married very young. He admitted he didn’t love her but they were young and at his familys especially his mom that he can’t say no to request he did the right thing and married her because of the baby. They didn’t last and both while still young made a clean break and did what was best for his son. He and her are cool and I’m OK with that.
    This second marriage he was truly ready and inlove. But obviously he alone was inlove and ready to settle. His then wife wasn’t after a while I guess.

  11. Shanmack I mey my guy last year as well.I miss him so much and I haven’t seen him in a while and I heard from him a few weeks ago.When he is in his moods he will not respond to any form of communication from me.Honestly I am feeling like the heck with him.I have gone through this too many times within the year we have known one another.I will admit each time hurts but I’m trying to be strong and not reach out.Last Friday was my last attempt of contacting him.I guess it’s true when you hear out of sight out of mind.Over all he appears to be a good guy;just too sensitive and emotional for me.If it’s meant to be it’ll be and don’t give up on love.I’m not giving up just sparing my heart as best as I can.I fell in love with a cancer man younger than me.I wish he was more understanding with my situation but it isn’t an in between with him.Be patience and if he is worth the fight,go for it.

  12. thorntongirl says:

    We ‘ve split back together split etc. It’s a pattern with these guys . Fear is a funny animal we think cuz they are men they don’t get scared and confused but they are just as emotional as we are. I think they are worth it I hate waiting for the other shoe to fall. I’m always wondering when something will trigger his fear and he ‘ll leave . They are an emotional mess but to me he is worth it I just wish he thought I was

  13. I feel the same way too.
    Just tired of the silent treatment and the disappearances.
    I’m just not ready to let go see yet

  14. thorntongirl says:

    See mine doesn’t disappear a lot . He wanted to see me on the weds then thurs the fb request happened then the silent treatment. This was the first time he s ignored me so I know I really upset him. We ‘re good together I wish I knew what was in his head and heart you know

  15. I know what you mean. And you probably will never ever know because when he does return he just gonna act like nothing happened and if you don’t want to start another argument you best not bring it up.
    This is the second time my man did this. The first time he did it I never heard from him in almost a week. This is the first that he has been gone for so long.
    Wish I knew what was happening in his head too.

  16. thorntongirl says:

    Very true , sometimes that s a good thing just move on only thing is they store the hurt away and never let it go plus you get the baggage from his other relationships

  17. Yeah they carry their baggage from past relationships over into the new ones because it’s like they waiting on you to make the same mistakes. It’s best sometimes too to listen about what went wrong so you get to know how and where to tred in the relationship.
    That’s what I do with my guy. His home is his sanctuary and I told him mine too and of course goes into depth why like saying how I get to shut out everything from the whole day with work to the little ups and downs. I watch his facial expressions when I tell him this and he likes it.
    Lol. He looks great in orange and tangerine colours and I told him. When I came home a few weeks ago he was wearing orange to meet me.
    I just miss him even when he gets ridiculously moody for no reason at all

  18. thorntongirl says:

    Once they feel safe they ‘ll come back or once they know we are ok with them and won’t reject them. I guess they move past the issues with us so we dont go off on them. They store it forgive never forget

  19. Yup and wants us to forgive them all their mishaps which we do and forget about it.
    If only these men can see that we love them alot and only have their best interests at heart.

  20. thorntongirl says:

    They are tortured souls must be hard not knowing what you feel and dealing with those feelings and thinking everyone is out to get you

  21. Yeah. I just want to take my man and wrap him in bubble wrap. I have always felt that I need to protect him.
    He so delicate when he gets hurt and tries hiding it from me by disappearing.
    I miss him so much

  22. thorntongirl says:

    What nationality is he. Mine is Italian double whammy

  23. Shanmack and Thortongirl it is good to talk chat with others that are experiencing similar things with their cancer man.Out of any man I have ever been close to;he is the only one that has left such an impression on me.I miss him and would love to hear and see him but I will not continue to reach out to be ignored!They will continue to do this if we continue to allow it.It is not fair they leave and come back as if nothing happened,but that does not solve anything.You can not solve mishaps or address them if their always suppressed until their ready to talk.I care about him so much but I be damn if I am going to lose myself in the process.You ladies continue to be strong and do not lose yourself in these men.

  24. Hmm. Mine is an all American guy. Not sure of his ancestry.

  25. thorntongirl says:

    I really don’t think they can help all of it. I know they can apologize once you make them see they’ve hurt you. Unfortunately they are so self absorbed with their own emotion they don’t see what is around them.
    I’m keeping busy he s just on my mind every day

  26. Me too. I keep myself as busy as possible but he always on my mind also.
    Honestly it’s out of fear that he with someone else but I try to think very very positive.

  27. thorntongirl says:

    Fear usually makes them hide or run

  28. So I notice. It’s amazing how hard and fearless they can be when they want their way or ruling over people and they running scared from their women who loves them all because of crazy hurt feelings.
    I want him back but realize that Im not sure if I can handle him disappearing on me again and know that this is one occasion that I’m not gonna just forget about it. I love him but I realized I need to set boundaries with this man to safe guard myself from what Im currently going through.
    I love him to death but I need to know where I went wrong just the same as I will tell him where he went wrong.

  29. thorntongirl says:

    I know my guy is a cop so at work there is no emotional connection to the ppl he deals with he doesn’t care what they say or do with me there are feelings so he cares if I hurt him that’s when he gets scared or hurt. He really hasn’t run recently but this issue involves his son. I get it

  30. I know. It’s great that they are devoted so much to family but why we as their women have to stay on the sidelines looking into their circle. We always bring them into our circle because we know how great they are.
    I told my man once that I didn’t like that he keeping me at arms length. His reply was that he does it every one. I dont classify myself as everyone because if so we will be just friends and nothing more. He hurt me just by telling me that.
    He always ask about my family but I’m careful not to really ask about his at all. I was surprised when he told me his mom coming to visit. I don’t know much about his life but don’t ask unless he tells me

  31. thorntongirl says:

    Mine told me to ask and he d tell. He s opened up a lot and this is such a big set back. I truly think I’ve lost him. They do take a long time to open up and move forward him talking about his family is a good thing

  32. I know that’s why I fear I’ve lost mine too.
    He started to open up to me about his family and what’s happening in his kids lives.
    One thing I know about cancer men, because they such great guys they always tend to mention lots of women and they tend to be very friendly with them so women tend to become attached.
    He and I got into an argument about one who he met just as a friend and he employed her younger sister as a favor and she called while he and I were together. He had her on speaker and she wanted to know how he was doing and she was OK at work etc… Then he took her off speaker and told he he would talk to her later. He saw I was leaving and started to explain himself saying that her sister started working for him this morning. I spoke my mind and told him I didn’t like that she was calling him and I did tell him then that I didn’t want to see him anymore because the fact that she calling him personally means something.he stopped me off and I didn’t hear from him till after a few days as if nothing happened.
    I’ve never encountered this woman again. If she and him are even friends still I don’t know because he made sure I hear or know nothing more about her. I’m worried because through his job he meets tons of women.
    Hat I really don’t understand is why he was pressuring me so much to come home. Why didn’t he just move on with one of them and let me be instead of doing all this.

  33. thorntongirl says:

    Cancer men always have a lot of women friends it doesn’t mean anything . If something was going on he would leave you unless you push him away by jealousy . They don’t like jealousy. You have to believe what he says trust is a big part of a relationship if you don’t have that then it’s probably better that you’re not together

  34. I do trust him. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have made such a big leap and return back to him. I trusted everything will be OK. When I left I left my job, gave up my apartment and everything just to get away and start over with space between us. He so over whelming sometimes and I needed to think.
    I came now to start over by his request so I have to find new apartment and I’m going back to work soon….it’s a little hard on me but hey that’s how starting over is all about. But he is nowhere to be found.
    I’m all alone and I loved and trusted him alot. ?it feels like i was abondoned by him.

  35. thorntongirl says:

    Didnt sound like there was trust when it came to this woman he worked with.

  36. No I didn’t trust. Because of how hi behaves like now that he disappears it gives me a feeling of not being enough.

  37. thorntongirl says:

    It’s hard but you can’t take it personal it’s the way they are with everyone but they only let certain ppl into their lives. They survive on emotion everything they feel is ten times that I’d the other signs . That’s why they always need to be told you love them and want them

  38. Ericka Russell says:

    My boyfriend does the same.his mom came on her birthday and him and his brother had to take her out only. but then he invited me to go out with them the day she left.

  39. I hope you didn’t go. The fact that he didn’t introduce you to his mom and bring you into that circle clearly states that he not serious about you like that as yet or non at all.
    I would find more things to do within my family circle and whenever he asks me out I would tell him Im spending time with my mom etc…. Or even so tell him you have family get together AND you have to pick up a friend you invited to come along.
    My cancer guy knows if my family but have never met them just as how I know of his and probably will never meet them… He will tell you everything about his family of Course and question you about yours.
    My mom died when I was a teenager and I always tell my cancer man that I’m taking her flowers and it does irritate him because I told him nothing about her. He then out of the blue told me his mom coming to visit. I told him that’s nice and quickly change topic because I know I will never ever meet her.
    You have to set those imaginary boundaries because they do set them too. My cancer guy just up and left. It’s a good thing I didn’t introduce him to my family as yet or include him in certain aspects of my life-how embarrassing that would be just now. It hurts but now Im learning and understanding. I still love him of course but these men are selfish.

  40. thorntongirl says:

    They ‘re heart breakers but when things are good it’s worth it.

  41. Exactly. How are you holding up. Anything about your guy as yet…

  42. thorntongirl says:

    Nothing I’m thinking about contacting him. I know he won’t make the first move they don’t . Their emotions overtake them and they say and do things without logic. I’m hoping he s had time to think and see he s made a mistake m

  43. Thorntongirl today makes one week and two days that I have not reached out to him.Now don’t get me wrong I have been reaching out often and he would respond every once in a while.You are right when things are good its worth it;however is it worth having a part time man?I say part time man because we love them so much and they are not willing to give us all of them and try to be more open with communication.My guy makes me feel so wonderful but in the same breath when he goes into his shell it feels as if I just jumped off of the tallest mountain.I am trying my best not to reach out because it hurts the more he doesn’t respond back.Maybe your guy will peep his head out of his shell and respond back.Wish you luck….Shanmack I am sorry to hear your guy did you the way he did.Anybody in their right mind can clearly see how serious you are about him.I would think without a doubt it is bothering him to know you moved to be with him after everything that was discussed,only for him to drop the ball.You’re a strong woman and if he really wants to repair things between the two of you;make him prove just how sincere he is and how bad he wants you in his life.

  44. thorntongirl says:

    The sense of time is so different to men and women. To us a week seems like a month. Cancers are so wrapped up in their own emotion they don’t see what they are doing to us….They don’t do it on purpose . I hope both our guys see the light and contact us or are open when we reach out to them

  45. Then you should try. Who knows. He probably waiting on you. Just keep it light. If he doesn’t say anything about the matter then don’t….

  46. thorntongirl says:

    That d be nice . Problem is I’m a Taurus we like to explain especially when we weren’t in the wrong .in my case there was a third party involved

  47. Yeah. I would love to explain things to my man too. I love him so much. But I would rather explain when I see him face to face.
    You do what you feel is best.

  48. thorntongirl says:

    I prefere face to face as well but if he won’t meet me then I have to try and get him to at least respond positively the best way I can

  49. Yeah. I know what you mean. Try calling first. The most he can do is not answer or hang up on you. Atleast then you will know how upset he still is.
    Chances are he probably missing you too

  50. thorntongirl says:

    I hope so , ugh this is so frustrating even now they have control

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