What to do when your Cancer man is angry at you

CancerAn angry Cancer man is not a pretty sight. He’ll withdraw into his shell and refuse to talk to you, or just bitch and complain (whine). Passive-aggressiveness is also common for a water sign that is famous for moving sideways.

More likely than not, he’s angry because you wounded his sensitive crabmeat, or your actions elicited his fierce protectiveness towards those he loves. It is natural to feel angry when you don’t feel safe.

Therefore, the first step towards reconciliation is acknowledging that you posed a threat, and that you will do everything you can to maintain Homeland Security. (And although our current President is a Cancer, do not follow his example. Torturing others to save your relationship is off limits!)

Talk is just talk, though. The Cancer man, as a member of the cardinal signs, prefers action over words. (A warm embrace counts more than verbal reassurance.) Your overtures should reflect a sincere desire to make things right. Cancer, ruled by the Moon, is an intuitive sign, and will be able to tell if you’re just going through the motions.

Cancer’s feelings of safety are based on emotions, not logic, so a home-cooked meal may indeed do the trick, provided he can taste the love. A cup of warm milk and a nice cuddle can also melt the Crab’s defenses.

Comment below: What would you do if a Cancer man were angry at you?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. I’m sorry Thornton girl but I would be going on line and finding out by myself instead of stalking my thoughts with illusions of him and some other woman.
    One thing I know about people in facebook is that if they just started a new relationship they change their status and the whole world knows not to mention they provide the link to the new persons page that they seeing.
    It’s up to you because that’s how I found out he no longer with his wife because she post everyday about her happy family and it all stopped last year. He ain’t there anymore with his son so they stopped being in the pics too

  2. thorntongirl says:

    Mine isn’t on Facebook, he doesn’t believe in all that stuff as I said he s very ptivate . He s told me anything I want to know ask and I have . This was his sons page and it was done by a jealous friend behind my back .

  3. Yeah alot of account hacking has been happening too. I kinda assuming that my man upset even more too because I got upset when a picture Of his sons party turned up on my facebook page. I was upset because I asked him if grown ups would be at party too including his wife. He said no just kids but the pic clearly had grown ups in the background. I of course sent it to him telling him that he a liar. He didn’t respond but I knew from the beginning that he lied and his wife was there.
    The picture was just a confirmation that adults were there.
    I guess that’s why too that he hasn’t come back. Know he is hurt but to fly thousands of miles just to be with a cancer guy ain’t easy.
    I text him apologizing but I spoke my mind and told him what I went through just to come back home to him. I have no plans whatsoever to be no side chick.
    Maybe I was jumping the gun after all he is her son and she just might be trying to get back with him by using the child to get money out of him.

  4. OK. I know what you mean because mine don’t have one anymore. But somebody is definitely on my page and knows who I am. Because I wouldn’t have gotten that pic from the party at his house. His wife already knows about us because she went through his phone and saw my pics also and my name so she knows who I am.
    Honestly if they weren’t so darn secretive and moody we wouldn’t be having this problem

  5. thorntongirl says:

    This was done by a friend so the fact that he did It hurts all the more. Thank god someone told me or I’d Still think it was me. July sucked lost two family members within weeks . Yea I think accusing him of being a liar did it hopefully once he gets over the emotion he ‘ll come back . You definitely have to stop getting mad at him and blowing up . The ex won’t distroy your relationship you will. He pro is doesn’t tell you the stuff with his wife cuz he doesn’t want you upset and imagining things. He protecting you. Remember they’re protectors

  6. thorntongirl says:

    If she did it you’re falling into her trap by accusing him try to pull back and maybe tell him you want to know she’s around and you’re ok with it cuz you trust him

  7. I already fell in the trap. I didn’t come home to play games and even so it’s common sense to know that if I was overseas the whole summer how could I have gotten that pic if it wasn’t sent to my page.
    I don’t see why I should explain myself on that one. How can I. I love him and he have people coming between us. I’m sure it was his wife.

  8. thorntongirl says:

    I get it and you get it but they don’t . Cancers don’t think with logic they think with emotion, their fear comes out as anger , they don’t feel safe. They dont handle things like normal ppl, they have a higher emotional sensitivity . they hide and over think everything . All they know is we ‘re upset which they don’t like to be the cause of and we are angry which makes them feel rejected. These aren’t games to them they don’t even realize they are doing it . It’s the way they are wired .that’s why after everything is said they act like nothing happened . Once they know you are ok they bounce back to being happy again

  9. Shanmack and Thortongirl Cancerian men will continue this passive behavior.I had to learn the hard way with the hands on lovey dovey appoach in reality is a bunch of crap.My opinion is if a person cares about you they don’t leave you questioning all the could of,would of,should of thoughts.Mine tends to go MIA not appearing to be phased how it bothers me after I have mentioned it to him.Try the rubber band method of goung on with your life and once he realizes he has seen or heard from you he will reappear.When he does,take control of the situation and do not be so quick to open up with all your feelings for him.Keep him guessing and wondering for a change.A man will be a man just like a woman will be a woman,do not let these emotional cancers make you feel insane.I say insane because mine left me feeling very distraught and reappears as if all is well.Well this last time has left me feeling like the heck with him.Yes I have feelings and care about him alot;however I willnot allow his passive behavior get the best of me again!!!!!!

  10. thorntongirl says:

    Yes I have noticed in the past when I didn’t care as much he started to come back and worry he was losing me . I have to say it was nice

  11. Thank you but if my cancer guy does turn up as much as I want him back I want let it be this easy for him. I’m the one that’s gonna be pulling the disappearing act.
    Yes Im moving forward and concentrating my time and efforts on just me and try to strengthen myself emtionally and mentally.
    He will be back and I realized that I need to be at my best and prepare myself mentally because for him its like nothing never happened .

  12. thorntongirl says:

    Sounds like what you are doing works. Is he a July cancer

  13. June 23. I guess the months are different too. My best man friend is a cancer too. Lol. We get along well like brother and sister. He and my mom born July 21. My friend always call and check up on me especially when he hasn’t seen me in a while and he always cooking something. Lol. We argue sometimes over trivial matters but not for long. My man is a June cancerian.

  14. Shanmack and Thorntongirl mine is 7/2 and not to mention he is younger than me.He is a good guy;communication is not the best.I know it is hard but consider the nc (no contact)and in due time he will be back around if you meant something to him.The more you reach out the more he will go back into his shell.So you have to go on as usual and soon or later he will be back.When he does,take control.Act unphased….be yourself when you all talk or around ine another.After that don’t contact him until a week or so later just to say hello or you can wait until he reaches out to you.Either way keep him guessing.When he try to ask you question to get an idea if you atill are madly crazy about him don’t be so quick to pour your heart out.Answer him but be indirect considering that is usually their way of answering others.

  15. thorntongirl says:

    Mine is June 22 They are different my ex was July 15 and he yelled and called names and so dishonest. My guy never puts me down or yells he’s always straight with me. He just goes to the extreme when he THINKS he s beem lied to or rejected although he wasnt running and hiding as often except for this time which involved his son

  16. You are so right. We should keep them guessing when they do come back and keep my conversations with him short,businesslike and appearing to be busy.

  17. thorntongirl says:

    That is good advice it’s worked in the past their insecurities get the best if them that’s for sure .after 2 years you would hope I meant something. We ‘ve split before and he s always come back when I’ve contacted him this time I’ve been ignored that s the scary part

  18. Yeah. Mine never yells either. He just talks to me in a lethal military way when he want to be control. As long as I agree with him then we are good and he all lovely dovey again. I guess I need to learn to tell him what he wants to hear to keep the peace and then concentrate on my own thing.
    I guess having a life separately from him by occupying my time with things I live to do is a great option for whenever he wants to disappear

  19. thorntongirl says:

    I wouldn’t agree with everything I still let him know what i want and if he s being difficult and he excepts it . He just runs when he thinks there will be a confrontation between us he hurts so he tries to hurt me. I think it’s a test to see how much I will put up with. They expect us to leave then they are right we didn’t love them cuz we left

  20. Yeah. I know what you mean about the scare factor especially when they gone for a long long time.
    They don’t even know the distress that they put us through everyday. I rather give him a dose of his own medicine when he returns.
    I plan on making him know where I am sometimes but just not physically or emotionally available because I’M BUSY… Just as he always was

  21. True. They do expect us to leave and by right we should.
    But we just too inlove and care too deeply for them.

  22. thorntongirl says:

    That works

  23. Yup. Even though it gonna hurt us more.

  24. thorntongirl says:

    My guy was getting better actually talking about stuff. This incident set is back like I said he s never ignored before this is serious about to him

  25. Thornton girl your man will be back. He ain’t gonna throw away so many years for nothing just like that plus soon his kids gonna notice you ain’t around much and they gonna start asking him about you as long as they respect you. He probably knew he hurt you but ashamed to come around. Just like my man

  26. thorntongirl says:

    His son was the one that told him I fb him lol. I hope you’re right

  27. Believe me Thortongirl and Shanmack I know all too well about set backs.I am dealing with it now and I can admit I fell in love with him also.Communication has gone distant and I haven’t seen him in a while.He is very emotional and sensitive out of this world.Of course he does not appear to be that way when we’re around one another.I have never in my life met someone that has made me feel the way he has.I totally relate to what you all are feeling.These Cancer men make it hard to walk away from them despite how they disappear,ignore you,ext.I really feel they’ll reappear but we have to live our lives and let the cards fall as they may.I am trying to go on with my life but I do miss him.I can’t lie and say I wouldn’t talk to him ever again.I just know I will not allow him to continue to think I’ll always be here when he wants to pop in and out my life.We have to show them we have feelings also.

  28. Wow. People do take facebook to whole different level. The plot thickens!!!! But why he told him that. It was a mistake and even so he didn’t have to tell him nothing.
    See what I mean. Their kids are everything and you have to take a back seat. If it’s the case where the son didnt like it that you facebook him then he obviously told his dad and that’s why he disappears.
    If you got kids and I were you when he comes around I tell him Im busy with my kids emphasising even more when he calls that you are busy talking with your kids on facebook and how much you love that this medium is keeping your family together and keeping you all connected and give him a quick catch you later.

  29. thorntongirl says:

    I know I’m not going to say no if I’m asked out and I’m keeping busy . The thing is there’s always a set back with these guys but you gotta love them

  30. Which is why when your cancer guy comes back you gonna look like a million bucks whenever he sees you but you just not readily available emotionally and mentally. Keep your conversations short mostly one word answers and business like. Of course you are forever busy but not too busy to be out of his reach.
    Yeah it gonna hurt because all you want to do is be with him.
    At this point it’s all about doing you.
    The up side is that you have found a new you even if he hasn’t returned and on your way to moving on to better things. If he does return them he doesn’t need to know anything more about you other than your achievements for the time being

  31. thorntongirl says:

    Oh yes I know my place in the pecking order when it comes to his blood. I dont have kids but young nieces and nephews and he knows how close I am. I’m not always available for him and he excepts that

  32. thorntongirl says:

    Very true i have good friends to help me thru

  33. Thortongirl and Shanmack if my cancer guy decides to reach out to me.I am going to wait until three days to respond back and it will be short and brief.I have done all that I can think to do and now I feel like oh well.I am about to put my focus back on me.Hopefully all will go well with you all situations.

  34. thorntongirl says:

    I hope it works out for us all too. I usually wait a few days . If we ‘re not happy with our cancers someone who deserves is will enrich our lives

  35. Same to you hun. When it’s all said and done we do love these very delicate men. It’s not even that we can’t find other men with but we know what we invested in them personally.
    I for one am not gonna encourage anyone to leave their partner. I endorse working it out to the best of your abilities while not selling yourself short and accepting only the best from them.
    You ladies are both strong individuals and I’m happy I could share my experiences with both of you. I pray for the best in your relationship and that these men would turn around and come to better realization.

  36. thorntongirl says:

    I guess them coming back means they feel something they just don’t know to deal with them. If they d confront their insecurities life would be easier for everyone involved. Their trust issues are what causes every problem we deal with.

  37. Thornton girl I truly believe – (well speaking for myself) that I may find someone else but I won’t feel or allow myself to feel the same about another person regardless of the ups and downs that comes with a cancer man. You know what I mean because it just can’t be perfect. When its all good between us they give us the love and security that we need that the other signs are unable to aspire to.
    For now we need to occupy our time with things that are emotionally and mentally fulfilling to us.

  38. thorntongirl says:

    I hear what you’re saying . I’m lucky I do have a good support system and a lot going on in my life . My hope is he is and stays a part of it if not I will move on there are others who want to be in my life I’m just not ready to let them in

  39. It’s all apart of the package that comes with them. I’ve learned this about my cancer man. You have to be constantly proving your love to them and they dont even realize that if you didn’t love them you would have been gone. I know I would. Libra women don’t normally stick around especially when the man has gone MIA.

  40. thorntongirl says:

    They ‘re too busy over thinking and worrying. They live in their emotional black hole. I’m a Taurus i hang on till the end of time

  41. It’s great that you have people wiyh you. The cancer man sure can be emotionally damaging somewhat. This is the first I chose to even talk about my situation because it’s so taxing on me. He has never been gone for so long.
    I have other people too that would love to be in my life but honestly I just can’t see myself with them. It would feel to disgustingly weird because I only see them as a brother and honestly the things I share with my cancer guy I don’t want to share that with anyone else.

  42. thorntongirl says:

    My guy and I had no contact once before it was for two months . I contacted him and he replied in a few minutes he wanted to see me that day but I took it slow . We eventually got back together like nothing happened but he was more open with me . I benefited by that break . This just feels different . You’ll be ok once you heal and trust again you’ll find the perfect guy

  43. I know what you mean. Which is why it’s so hard for us to move forward. I don’t like any form of disharmony and I love to talk things over and come to solutions so it really hurts me when he just disappear without a trace.

  44. thorntongirl says:

    Same here but they don’t like confrontation so they hide. When they are energized they come out and act like nothing happened that’s just their way . One of the things you have to accept if you want to be with them

  45. Yeah. I will be OK. Us Libra women are pure emotions too just like our cancer men. I always realized that that he was attracted to my strength as hardworking woman coupled with my softer side when we are together. He always liked that I trusted him enough to take my thoughts and feelings to him but we mostly butt heads where work and money is concerned. He never ever fully understand my need to be so independent to the point where I don’t accept financial help from him. I told him I don’t want money to come between us…

  46. I understand the disappearing act. Excepting mine was bigger when I left the country but I did give him my contacts and because he knew it was his fault he didn’t know how to come back so I had to do it for him a second time.
    Right now he just gotta do it off his own.
    But however life for me goes on

  47. thorntongirl says:

    Mine just want a his alone time when he need s it and reassurance that I want him

  48. thorntongirl says:

    Mine won’t contact me he told me to delete his number and stop contacting him soooo

  49. thorntongirl says:

    Two years ago he told me to lose his number and a few days later apologize I waited a week and excepted . Since then we ‘ve split tree or four times but always go back . Two months last time I again reached out . I just don’t know if I should this time cuz he won’t. He likes to pretend he doesn’t care

  50. Wow!!! He will be back though. He only extra upset because he feels you invaded his family privacy. Its pretty much the same thing with me and this pic.. His son was in the pic excepting I was just merely pointing out that he lied about grown ups not being at that party but he doesn’t realize I was upset because he the one proposing us moving in together and people were there in his house and he yet to introduce me to his family.
    So yes I invaded Homeland Security with a pic that just happened to turn up on my face book page.
    It’s amazing how this man wanted me to come home and be with him. He even went as far as telling me my family is only gonna use me so I need to come home. He doesn’t want me spending time with them because I should either be at home, work or with him.
    I told him in the beginning that Im not coming back and he went mad telling me he knew I wasnt real and I want to marry some man where I was.
    All I said was OK. And he was gone without a trace for a week

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