Ok, I have been involved very deeply with a pisces male four years my junior for exactly eleven months. He has a girlfriend (I think she’s a Taurus), he’s been with her since before he and I got together. She lives in another state and depending on how well they are getting along, she visits him anywhere from 2-4 times a month (although she never stays for longer than two days). When she visits he’s with me until the minute that she gets here and he makes plans to be with me even before she leaves. The two of them argue because she can tell that he doesn’t want her to come, but he won’t tell her not to. Not only do he and I work together but we honestly spend all of our free time (when she’s not here) with each other. We go on vacations together very often, (we actually have two really amazing ones that are in the works for December of this year and March of next year), and we share the same social circle. I could write a book about he and I, but basically my question is this: I’ve never been so in love, because of the depth of my feelings for him I am now so much more open to the possibilities of love and life. I’ve tried to leave him alone because he hasn’t left her and gives me no indication that he will. But whenever I leave him, both he and I are miserable. The little that I know of his and her relationship doesn’t seem like a happy one, but they are both signs that almost never give up, even when unhappy. What should I do? My heart says to stay and continue to be the light of his life (I know that I am and this has been confirmed by both his family and friends), but my mind says that he’ll never leave her as long as he has me to run to. I think that what they once shared has faded but that it will take them both a while to admit it. Like I said, I could write a book, but based on what you’ve just read, what do you think?
You have a North Node/Sun/Venus/Saturn stellium in Virgo in your Second House of Self-Worth. Venus — the love planet — is in its “fall” in Virgo, which basically means that your romantic and sensual needs are not easily met, as they are expressed in a critical, analytical manner. (The opposite of Venus’ fall is its “exaltation” in romantic, divinity-seeking Pisces.) In addition, your Venus is conjunct Saturn, a pairing that can leave you feeling deprived of love. (See my post on Saturn and Venus.)
The way I see it, you can either stay or leave. If you stay, you are accepting this arrangement as is. Yet if you were totally cool with it, you would not be writing me.
If you leave, it would for strategic reasons — with a desired outcome of making him see the light so that he breaks up with his long-distance girlfriend and comes back to you, 100% available.
If you make an ultimatum — “You have to choose between her and me” — you may risk losing him.
I could get all karmic on you and ask if you unconsciously sought this type of relationship to confirm your view that you are not going to get what you want. But I won’t. You’re here now, and you want a solution. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers — just put up with it, or leave. (If there’s an alternative I’ve missed, my readers will tell me!)
Fortunately, you’re getting a planetary kick in the pants. Transiting Uranus in Pisces in your Eighth House of Sexual Intimacy is currently opposing your Venus-Saturn conjunction. Something’s gotta change, and perhaps you are writing me because you feel the stirrings. You are sick of the status quo. How your love life will shake up, I don’t know … but it will. And if you don’t take the reigns of revolution into your own hands, Uranus’ unique brand of shock therapy will come from outside.
Comment below: What do you think Such a Virgo should do?