In the comments section of Those Bad Planets, Eme Kah writes, “Can you give a concrete example of how to honor both Venus and Saturn, say, if they’re in a square aspect?”
When Saturn and Venus are in a square relationship with each other, there is a challenge in integrating both impulses in a satisfactory manner. (Saturn wants structure, commitment and longevity. Venus wants love, beauty, sensual pleasure.) The “lower expression” of this combination typically manifests: Saturn restricts and delays the love and approval needed by Venus; the native (that is, the person who has Venus-square-Saturn in their horoscope) has difficulty expressing affection lest she is rejected; one encounters many obstacles in developing a satisfying relationship. (“Lower expression” is not meant as a judgment. Rather, these patterns appear to be less satisfying to a native than the “higher expressions” mentioned below.)
A more satisfying Saturn-Venus expression manifests as commitment and longevity in relationship, a tempered approach to love. There will be a pragmatism in meeting one’s relationship needs.
In the process of respecting the gods and goddesses, Saturn gets priority. Venus represents a mundane need — it is a personal planet. We all need to feel loved and appreciated. (Entirely giving up on love would be dishonoring Venus.) Saturn influences Venus, not the other way around. We experience the absence or delay of the Venusian. Therefore we have to give Saturn his due.
Giving Saturn his due means submitting to His trials. For karmic reasons, you just need to plow through the relationship obstacles He puts in your way. There’s no avoiding it. But Saturn will reward your hard work and determined approach with wisdom, structure, longevity. I’m not making promises here — a “beneficial” expression of Saturn-Venus will look different for everyone born with this challenge. One person may overcome difficulty with relationships to become an expert on matters of love. Another may fall in love with someone in a position of authority, or someone many years their senior. A third may be rewarded — after many difficult years — with a stable partnership that lasts the rest of their life.
However, none of these options will happen without putting in some serious effort. Remaining in fear, focusing on the “lack” — these negative attitudes will only result in one’s entrenchment in unsatisfying relationship patterns. If you’re feeling weighed down, you need to do push-ups! Strengthen your “love muscle” (no, I don’t mean that one!) with regular exercise, working against resistance to develop your confidence and groundedness in the realm of relationship.